Finding Her Bearing

by A. C. James

  It was a nice change from what she was used to with Seth. He’d been pushy, and didn’t really snuggle unless he thought there was something in it for him. It was a rare occasion when he’d wrap his arms around her and not try to grab other parts of her body. At first she thought Liam was weirded out about her history, but it wasn’t like that. They just fell into a rhythm that was easy. Natural.

  She’d come home from work and they’d cook dinner together; another change in the right direction. Liam would ask about her day and was genuinely interested when she got excited about something. He asked questions, and conversation flowed. Her ex was all about endless silence. It was like pulling teeth to get him to share anything. The only time Seth was animated was when he was keeping up appearances with friends. He’d have plenty of pretty words to brag about her to his buddies. Seth would say he was ‘building her up to others,’ but he just wanted to make himself look good.

  Hearing him talk about her like he’d talk about buying a new truck made her want to sink through the floor, once she saw it for what it was. She was an object, a thing to be possessed. On the outside they were the perfect couple: nice house, shiny white privacy fence. But if you dug too deep, you’d discover that behind the fake smiles and compliments Dr. Jekyll had the temper of Mr. Hyde.

  Cari made excuses for a long time—the alcohol, his head injury, his mom being in the hospital. Anything to make sense of his out-of-control behavior. None of his problems were hers. She couldn’t fix him. You can’t help someone who doesn’t think they have a problem, or who thinks that you’re the only problem, and life would be perfect without you in it. Cari wondered if he’d been thinking that the night he choked her.

  Jess squeezed her shoulder from behind. “I know that look. What’s wrong?”

  Cari met Jess’s eyes in the mirror as she puckered her freshly glossed lips together. “I’m just nervous, that’s all. I’ve been on edge since Liam’s Jeep got trashed. I have a really bad feeling.”

  “You think it’s Seth,” Jess said.

  Cari frowned at her reflection. “I know it’s him, Jess. He’d never let me go that easy. And the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you leave, like I did. That’s why I was so careful. But maybe I wasn’t careful enough.”

  “Stop second-guessing yourself. You did the right thing.”

  Cari turned on the stool to face Jess. “You want to know something crazy?”

  “Hhmmm?”

  “I missed him after I left. Not the bad stuff, but the good times. The times when he wasn’t a complete asshole. Sometimes I even wonder if I could’ve done something differently. I know it’s completely normal to feel that way. I know deep down there’s nothing I could’ve done to help him. I’m happy now that my life isn’t so chaotic. I don’t regret that I left. I only regret that it took me so long and that I lost so much time trying to build a life with him. A life that wasn’t real. Does that make sense, or do I sound like a nut-job? It’s crazy, right?”

  Jess smiled. “You aren’t crazy. You’ve been made to feel that way by an abusive asshole. You’ve been through hell, and got out of it. You’ve done so well! You’re strong, and you will get through this. One step at a time. I’m here for you, hon.”

  “And Liam has been really great about the whole thing. It’s amazing to have his support considering it’s only been a week,” Cari said, tucking the lip gloss into her purse.

  Jess gave her a weird look. “Uhmmm, we are talking about Liam, right?”

  Cari had no idea why Jess was looking at her like she’d grown two heads. “Hey, it’s a lot for anyone to handle, but having just met me I’m surprised he stuck around.”

  “Just met you?” Jess said, looking confused.

  “Well, we went camping, we had lunch together, and we’ve been texting like teenagers, but it’s a lot to ask someone to drop what they’re doing and deal with my stalker bullshit. And Liam let me come stay with him for a couple days,” Cari said with a smile. “It was so sweet of him.”

  “It was his idea, Car. He wasn’t about to let you stay at your place after what happened.” Jess just shook her head and grabbed her arm. “Come on. We’ve got to go or we’re going to be late.”

  They piled into Jess’s Land Rover and headed for Woodland High. The parking lot was pretty full, but they found a spot toward the back.

  Jess gave her lips one last gloss in the overhead mirror. “You ready?” she asked.

  “It’s weird being back here,” Cari said, grabbing her purse.

  Jess nodded. “I know what you mean. It feels like high school was a lifetime ago.”

  They climbed out of Jess’s car and made their way across the parking lot. Just inside the entrance, there was a table in front of the gym filled with name tags.

  “Oh, God,” Cari said, finding hers.

  She’d wondered why they asked everyone to email a recent photo. Cari wouldn’t have bothered, except someone even called her and was pretty persistent about it. She figured they’d only call back if she didn’t, and she hated talking on the phone.

  Each name tag had a ‘before’ and ‘after’ picture. The ‘before’ photo was her senior picture from the yearbook, and the ‘after’ was a selfie she’d sent from her phone. Her eyes wandered alphabetically to find Liam. Fuck. Cari’s breath caught in her throat. How could she not have known? William, Liam, was her Liam. God, he looked so different.

  There, staring back at her from his senior picture, was the lanky art nerd with glasses. Next to that was a photo of the smoking-hot, sexy-as-fuck bear shifter he’d become. Somewhere along the way he must’ve started wearing contacts. No wonder he brought her salt and vinegar chips for lunch the other day. It was one of their things. They’d walk to the convenience store after school and she’d always buy a bag. Cari was comfortable around Liam. Of course. It all made sense now. She’d known him for a lifetime. She wasn’t opening up to someone new. She was rediscovering someone she’d always loved. Cari touched his name tag and smiled.

  “Looks like the guys aren’t here yet,” Jess said. “All their name tags are still there.”

  “You did this,” Cari said, grinning at her.

  “Did what?”

  “You told Mrs. Wilder about Liam. You were behind this whole thing, weren’t you?”

  Jess laughed. “Well, of course.”

  Cari shook her head. “I can’t believe you!”

  “Somebody had to do it. You’ve been in love with each other for years. It’s about damn time,” Jess said with a smirk. “Besides I had a little help. Ky pushed Liam in the right direction. He pulled rank and told Liam it was about time his bear found a mate.”

  Cari grabbed her name tag and pinned it on. The night had just gotten a whole lot better. Everything was finally working out. Cari followed Jess toward the loud pumping music, songs that took her back in time.

  She grabbed Jess’s arm and yelled above the music. “I’m going to find the ladies’ room. I’ll be right back.”

  Jess opened her mouth to say something when an old friend came over and caught her in a hug. Cari ducked down the hallway, away from the music and strobe lights. Further down the hall was a bank of lockers. Was someone leaning against them? Cari couldn’t tell from this angle. She pushed open the heavy wooden bathroom door. Suddenly, she didn’t like being alone. She hurried through taking a pee and washing her hands as fear coiled in her belly. Cari opened the bathroom door and Seth grabbed her arm, like he’d been waiting to pounce.

  “You’re coming with me,” he hissed.

  Cari twisted in his grasp. “Let go of me.”

  Seth smiled coldly. “Did you think you could walk away from me?”

  Maybe it was stupid, but Cari wasn’t scared of him. She’d never been afraid of him, only his unpredictability. He wasn’t a bad guy; just a really angry, insecure one. And she wasn’t going anywhere with him. That’d be a mistake.

  Cari sighed. “That was the idea, but I guess you didn’t get t
he hint.” Sarcasm wasn’t the answer, and she knew it’d only piss him off, but she didn’t give a damn anymore.

  She’d only moved fifteen hundred miles.

  He shoved her against the lockers. Cari winced, but she was ready this time. She adjusted her stance like she’d learned at Bear Creek Krav Maga. They’d had a women’s self-defense seminar. Cari had learned a lot, like hard skills with striking drills and stress drills to induce exhaustion, something hugely important in self-defense training. Her instructor went over striking techniques, punches, elbows, knees, eyes, throat, groin, and soft-target strikes. She’d been hitting the gym twice a week. Cari was curvy, but she was no marshmallow.

  “I don’t want to get into it with you,” Cari said, calmly attempting to de-escalate the situation. She stayed poised in a good fighting stance, because once Seth saw red there was no getting through to him.

  Seth smiled at her, charming as ever. “I don’t want to fight you, Cari. I just want to talk. Can we go somewhere private?”

  Cari lifted her chin. She couldn’t tell if he’d been drinking, but she wasn’t buying it. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  He took a step forward, invading her personal two-foot perimeter. Her back pressed firmly into the cold metal lockers. Her goal now was to create an opportunity and escape. To get back to the gym where there were people and find Jess.

  His hand rose to caress her cheek. “Come on, Cari. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. It wasn’t me.”

  She turned her head away from his hand. “I’ve heard it all before. You can’t keep saying you’re sorry. It doesn’t mean anything. You can’t possibly expect me to believe it won’t happen again.”

  Seth shook his head. “I could never hurt you. It wasn’t me. I was drinking too much. I’m sober now.”

  Cari couldn’t remember how many times Seth had said he was sorry, that he’d never lay a hand on her again, and that he was sober. It never lasted. Eventually, he’d think he was strong enough to drink socially or just drink beer. He could control it, or so he’d say, and Cari was sure he even believed it. In the end he’d hit her again. She’d be back at square one with him apologizing and her hoping that this time he really meant it. Cari was done listening to empty promises.

  “Were you sober when you trashed Liam’s Jeep?” Cari asked.

  “You shouldn’t have gone out with him,” Seth yelled. No one would hear him over the music.

  Knowing no answer would appease him, Cari gave him one last warning. “Move out of the way. You’re blocking my path. I need to leave.”

  “Why are you being this way? I can’t believe you’re doing this to me,” Seth said, and he actually looked pained. Instead of backing away from her, he planted his hands on her shoulders.

  She’d given him fair warning. She took a deep breath to steady herself, knowing the techniques she’d learned would only work if she kept a cool head. Cari gave him a quick, hard palm strike to his chest. Seth stumbled backwards in surprise. She knew better than to give him an opening. Cari popped up with a turning kick to his stomach and followed it up with a side kick to the knee just for good measure. She took off running toward the booming bass coming from the music in the gym, and didn’t stop until she heard someone calling her name.

  Liam, Ky, and a few guys from the Stone Clan were gathered in front of the double doors leading to the gym.

  “Whoa, slow down, Cari. What’s wrong?” Liam asked.

  Adrenaline coursed through her. Cari sucked in lungfuls of air and attempted speech, but no words came out. All she could do was point down the dark hallway.

  “Down there,” she finally managed.

  “David and Caleb, go,” Ky barked.

  They took off running in the direction Cari had come.

  “What happened?” Liam asked. “You’re shaking.”

  He rubbed his hands up and down her arms, pulling her close. Both him and Ky waited for her to spit it out. She’d stayed calm through the whole thing, but now she couldn’t stop shaking. Her heart hammered in her chest, an anxiety attack coming on. She slowed her breathing and focused on Liam’s face.

  “Seth,” Cari said.

  “Did he hurt you?” Liam growled.

  Before she could answer, David and Caleb came back dragging Seth, gripping him under each arm.

  “Your girlfriend doesn’t need rescuing. She beat the shit out of him,” Caleb said.

  Ky laughed.

  “Cut it out,” Cari said, punching him playfully.

  “Where’d you learn how to do that?” David asked.

  Cari shrugged. “Bear Creek Krav Maga.”

  “Badass!” Caleb said.

  Jess and Nita walked out of the gym, and Jess’s jaw dropped open.

  “Uhmmm, we should call the sheriff,” Nita said, gesturing toward Seth, who was slumped against a wall.

  Cari could barely look at him.

  “I’m already on it,” Jess said, pulling her cell phone out of her purse.

  Liam was still holding Cari like he didn’t want to let go. She was grateful, because she was sure if he did, her knees would give out.

  “I need to sit down,” Cari whispered.

  Nita ducked inside the gym and came back with a metal folding chair. Cari sank into it, murmuring thanks, and Liam wrapped his suit jacket around her shoulders. A crowd was congregating near the entrance to the gym. She didn’t know how long she sat there, but the sheriff and his deputy eventually came. Seth was led away in handcuffs while the sheriff took her statement, and then they were free to leave. Cari didn’t really feel like dancing anymore. She let Liam guide her out to his Jeep.

  Chapter Ten

  Six Months Later

  Liam walked into the bedroom after a long, hot shower. Cari was still in bed, wearing his oversized t-shirt. He stood over her and smiled. Cari evoked so much lust and love in him, all at the same time. Liam wanted her so fucking bad. He climbed in bed next to her, and the towel that had been slung around his hips ended up on the floor. Fuck. He was already hard just thinking about what he wanted to do to her.

  “Good morning, gorgeous.”

  Cari rolled onto her side. “Mmmm, morning.”

  Liam lowered his head. His lips traced butterfly kisses on her neck, and his hands roamed over her sexy curves. Cari moaned. He lifted the t-shirt high enough so he could touch her breasts. Liam loved kneading them and pinching her nipples into little peaks. Another soft moan escaped her lips.

  “Keep going,” Cari murmured. She always loved when he played with her nipples.

  He grinned. “Yes, ma’am.”

  Liam replaced his fingers with his lips, teasing her nipples with his teeth. His tongue danced circles on her breasts, tasting her and sucking softly, then harder and harder, until her fingers tangled and tugged at his hair. His hand slipped into her panties to explore her pussy. Cari was already wet. He slipped one finger into her, then another. And another.

  “Fuck, sweetheart. You’re so wet,” Liam said, brushing his lips against her hip while he played with her pussy. He slid his mouth along her hipbone and back up to her breasts.

  “Yes, tug on my nipples. I love it when you do that,” she moaned.

  Liam loved how open Cari was with him. He slid his fingers out of her pussy and paid attention to her large, lovely breasts like she wanted, using his teeth to toy with her nipples until she clawed at the sheets. He trailed kisses from her breasts to her neck, lingering along her collarbone where she loved to be kissed. Her shampoo reminded him of the woods when it rained. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, enjoying her scent. Cari filled his senses.

  She moaned again, her eyes half-open. Her hands cupped the back of his neck and pulled his head toward her nipple.

  “You want to feel my teeth, my stubble graze your skin, don’t you? Tell me what you need,” he demanded.

  “Don’t stop! I need…more. Touch me,” Cari begged.

  He realized he’d stopped fingering her when Cari moved her h
and on top of his, lifting and pushing it toward her pussy again.

  “Mmm... you’re soaked already,” Liam whispered against her ear. He found the spot she liked, and his fingers worked their magic.

  “Baby... I need…more,” Cari said, turning toward him and kissing him hard.

  She gripped his cock possessively. She sucked his lower lip, then pushed her tongue into his mouth, thrusting as if showing him how she wanted him thrusting into her pussy. Cari swallowed his groans as she jack-hammered him into delirium. God, the things this woman could do to him.

  Liam needed her. He’d waited until the right time to mark her. Now he couldn’t wait anymore—he couldn’t hold back his bear. He needed to feel himself buried inside her wetness and heat. His hands bunched into her hair and gently pulled her back from his face. Her eyes were heavy, and her lips were full. He pushed her onto her back.

  “I’m going to fuck you. Make you my mate. Then fuck you some more,” Liam said.

  “I’m yours,” Cari groaned. “Mate me, take me. I just need to feel you inside of me.”

  “Mine,” he said.

  “I like the sound of that,” Cari purred.

  Climbing on top of her, he spread her legs wide. He pushed the tip of his dick into her, teasing her entrance.

  Her hands were on his ass, pulling him toward her. “Just fuck me,” she moaned.

  Liam grinned and grabbed her hands, playfully pulling them over her head. “I’m going to fuck you, but I’m going to take my time, make you squirm until you can’t take anymore. I’m going to make you come and come again.”

  He slipped into her just a little more, teasing her mercilessly. Cari wrapped her legs around his back and used them to pull him deeper, but he pulled out of her before she could fully take his cock and slid slowly back into her pussy. He pulled out again, just as slow. Sliding. Teasing.