Straight from the Heart

by Tami Hoag

  “I don’t want that either,” she said softly.

  Jace moved back a step and stared at her, feeling betrayed. “You don’t want me to go back to the Kings?”

  “I want you to succeed, Jace. I really do. But part of me is so afraid I’m going to lose you. I’m afraid that once you go back to Chicago, you’ll forget about me.” She let her gaze drop to the royal blue pinstripes on his shirt and the logo with the missing “s.” “I don’t know if I could go through that again, Jace.”

  “Look at me, Becca.” When she didn’t raise her head, he gave her a shake. Startled, she stared into his eyes. “There’s no way you’re going to lose me. I love you. I’d marry you tomorrow if it weren’t for the season and my career being up in the air and the fact that I don’t have a penny to my name. Say the word, and we’ll get engaged right here and now.”

  But Rebecca couldn’t say the word. It was stuck in her throat. Jace was offering to make a promise, and experience had taught her he wasn’t terribly good at keeping them.

  “What do you want, Becca?” he asked tiredly.

  Everything. Nothing. She closed her eyes against the confusion. She hadn’t had a moment’s peace since he’d come back to Mishawaka. Her heart hadn’t had a moment’s rest since he’d left seven years ago.

  “Just hold me,” she whispered as tears squeezed between her thick black lashes and streamed down her cheeks.

  Jace cursed himself. What kind of man was he, pushing her when she was feeling frightened and vulnerable? A frightened and vulnerable man, he supposed.

  He held her for a time, savoring the feel of her in his arms. She felt so right there. She fit against him perfectly, like the piece that had been missing from the puzzle of his life for a long, long time. She was afraid of losing him? The thought of going back to the life he’d had without her terrified him.

  He wouldn’t lose her. He wouldn’t let that happen now that he was so close to having it all. He had nearly thrown his life away once. Now he’d wrestled every demon he had and put his life back on track, never to be derailed again.

  He only wished Rebecca would see that and believe in him.

  “I’m sorry I fell apart on you like that,” she said, lifting her head from his shoulder.

  Jace gave her a gentle smile. “Hey, it’s okay. Even you are entitled to get a little wacky every once in a while, Miss Levelheaded. I’m flattered you went wacky over me.”

  Rebecca sniffled and chuckled and reached a hand up to brush his smoky blond hair away from the welt on his head. “Speaking of wacky—are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I’m going to have a doozy of a headache, but I promise I’m not going to start talking with a hand puppet or anything like that.”

  “Good.” Her eyes flooded again as she murmured, “I love you.”

  “I know.” He also knew the prospect didn’t exactly thrill her, but he silently promised her that would change. He was winning all the other battles he’d begun after that horrible night on the expressway in Chicago. He would win this one too.

  “Hey,” Jace said, glancing around at the shabby trainer’s room, a mischievous smile twitching his lips as his spirit lightened, “ever do it in a locker room?”

  “Jace Cooper!” Rebecca said with a gasp, her heart pounding as he backed her toward the rubbing table. “Are you crazy?”

  “Yep. Crazy for you.” His hands worked her salmon-colored tank top up out of the waistband of her flowered skirt as he nibbled on her neck. “How about it? Feel like a quickie?”

  The very idea seemed so illicit, it thrilled her. Rebecca had never been the Bradshaw girl who got caught smoking in the restroom at school or fooling around with her boyfriend under the bleachers in the gym. It occurred to her that it might be a lot of fun to do something she would ordinarily have considered forbidden. And Jace was just the man to do it with. He had always been the adventuresome one. He had given her a taste of that kind of fun a long time ago. Now he was offering to again. She tried to look disapproving, however. “I think that beanball scrambled your brain. Maybe we ought to take you in to the hospital for a CAT scan.”

  “I can assure you, I am in full possession of my faculties.” He waggled his dark eyebrows lasciviously as he leaned into her. “And everything else is in working order too. Wanna see?”

  Rebecca glanced from the closed door back to Jace. Nibbling on her lower lip, she whispered, “Maybe.”

  The Mavericks lost the game ten to three. Meanwhile, the score in the locker room was a tie—both players went home with smiles on their faces.

  9

  It was Sunday. It was raining. Rebecca couldn’t have been happier. The Mavericks had been scheduled for an afternoon home game against Kenosha, but the ballpark would be empty. No game would be played today. She glanced out the window at the steady shower and smiled.

  Justin, Hugh, and Muriel were spending the afternoon together, going first to a Disney double feature and then to Captain Jack’s for pizza and video games. Rebecca had begged off, saying she had too much paperwork to catch up on.

  That was a fib. The paperwork was going to stay where it was on her desk in the study. She had every intention of spending the afternoon with her attention focused on Jace. She hadn’t seen him in ten days. The team had been on a road trip, and the night they had returned Rebecca had been tied up in yet another hospital board meeting. Their schedules would have kept them apart for another few days if it hadn’t been for the rain.

  She moved around her room lighting candles and turning down the covers on the bed. As she waited for the ring of the doorbell, she focused her attention on arranging the fresh fruit and croissants on the small table she had set up beside her window.

  Suddenly bleeps and buzzes drew Rebecca’s attention to the door. Merlin rolled in holding a black lacquered tray in front of him. On the tray was a small bouquet of blue delphinium and a bottle of sparkling apple cider. Laughing, she accepted the tray the robot offered and put it down on the table with the rest of the brunch she had prepared. When she turned around, the machine lit up with a blaze of blinking multicolored lights. It bleeped at her and advanced on her, accordion arms outstretched as if to embrace her.

  “No, Merlin,” Rebecca ordered, backing away from the robot. It just kept coming, rolling smoothly across the blue carpet. Rebecca scooted backward, trying to keep out of reach of Merlin’s metal claw hands. “Stop. Merlin, heel. Merlin? Merlin! Aargh!”

  Jace rushed in, remote control in hand, just as Rebecca tumbled backward across the bed. “Merlin!”

  “Merlin?” she questioned indignantly, raking her black hair back out of her eyes. “What about me?”

  “You may be one of a kind, sweetheart,” Jace said as he opened a door in Merlin’s back and performed some quick surgery, “but Merlin is a prototype.”

  “Gee, thanks,” she muttered dryly. The robot’s lights went off, and it seemed to sigh and go limp as its power shut down. “I thought you had all the bugs worked out of that mechanical malcontent.”

  “We do. Merlin’s been running like a top. It must be you.”

  “Me! I didn’t ask to be assaulted by that computer-run Casanova.”

  Jace scratched his head, bemused. “He always seems to go haywire around you. I think you must have a weird magnetic field around you or something.”

  He snapped the robot’s door shut and flopped down on the bed beside Rebecca. His eyes glowed like lapis lazuli as he gave her a warm smile. “You certainly attract me.”

  She groaned at his pun but accepted his kiss, amazed at the wild thrill that still shot through her at his touch.

  “Hi,” he murmured, brushing her hair back from her cheek with his fingertips.

  “Hi,” she whispered.

  “I missed you.”

  “I missed you. How did you get in? The doors were locked.”

  “I bypassed Hugh’s security system. No sweat.”

  Rebecca made a face. “I can’t even get in with a key.”

/>   “I guess I just have magic fingers,” Jace said, drawing the tips of those magic fingers down the slender white column of her throat. He purred in appreciation at the shiver that went through her.

  “I won’t argue with that,” Rebecca murmured, arching into his touch. “I can’t come up with a more logical explanation of the effect you have on me.”

  As she angled her head to meet his kiss, Rebecca caught a glimpse of Merlin standing beside the bed, seemingly staring down at them with the little wire gizmos in his clear bubble head. Jace’s kiss glanced off her chin as she stared back at the robot.

  “Um, Jace? Can you roll him out into the hall or something? I’d rather not have an audience.”

  “Honey,” Jace said, groaning in frustration, “he’s a machine. He—unlike myself—isn’t even turned on at the moment.”

  Rebecca’s mouth dropped into a sultry pout as she glared at the robot. “Just the same…”

  “Think of him as a vacuum cleaner.”

  “Vacuum cleaners don’t stare.”

  Jace chuckled as he rolled onto his back and scooped up the remote control he’d tossed onto the bed. Punching a few buttons, he brought Merlin to life and directed the robot out to the hall, even getting the machine to close the door behind it.

  “There,” he said, placing the remote on the nightstand. “Satisfied?”

  Rebecca sighed and smiled at him, feeling a ridiculous sense of relief. “Yes.”

  Jace lowered himself beside her on the bed. “Well, I’m not.”

  Growling playfully, he rolled across the bed with Rebecca in his arms, nibbling at her neck, tickling her ribs. Then he settled himself gently on top of her and gave her a long, thorough kiss to make up for all the kisses they’d missed out on while he’d been away. Thoroughly he explored the shape and texture of her lips. Leisurely he dipped his tongue into the dark warmth of her mouth, savoring the taste of her, inviting her to taste him as well. When he finally raised his head a fraction of an inch, they were both smiling like cats sated after a bowl of cream.

  “How’ve you been?” he asked softly against her lips. “Besides unbearably lonely for me?”

  “Fine.”

  “How’s Justin?”

  “Enjoying Sparky,” she said, referring to the mechanical dog Jace had built. “He says Sparky is almost better than a real dog because he doesn’t get fleas.”

  Jace’s heart warmed at the thought that he had made the boy happy. He could hardly wait for the day Justin would call him Dad instead of Uncle Jace. It was amazing how one freckle-faced six-year-old could bring out paternal feelings he hadn’t even realized he had.

  “How’ve you been?” Rebecca asked. “How’s the knee?”

  “It’s been fine. Great, actually. No problem on defense or running the bases. The team lost five of seven games, but I’m batting three-fifteen. My agent tells me he’s hearing rumors from the Kings’ management. They’ve got a tough schedule going down the stretch for the division championship…”

  A chill ran through her heart as Rebecca listened to Jace’s talk of the major league. She’d been following the reports of the last Mavericks’ road trip in the sports section, reading every glowing account of Jace’s play. To hear him talk about it himself, to hear the excitement in his voice when he spoke of the possibility of moving back to the majors, made it even more real to her—Jace wouldn’t be with the Mavericks forever.

  According to the local experts, there was no question—he would be going back to Chicago as the Kings made a bid for the division championship. Back to Chicago and the environment that had tempted him nearly to ruin his life, back to the way of life that had taken him from her seven years ago.

  No, Rebecca told herself, that was in the future, and she had promised herself nothing would intrude on their afternoon together. She forced a smile and pressed a finger to Jace’s lips. “Enough shop talk for now. I’ve fixed us this wonderful brunch, and frankly I’m starved.”

  “Me too,” Jace said seriously, lowering his mouth toward hers. “I’m so hungry for you, I can’t think straight.”

  There had been a time when he had enjoyed road trips, seeing new sights and new faces. But travel had lost its appeal. With each trip his longing to come home—home to Rebecca and Justin—grew stronger. On each trip the nights seemed longer as he lay awake aching to hold the woman he loved.

  Brunch was forgotten as Jace’s hands freed the buttons on Rebecca’s emerald green blouse. He opened the garment, then dealt with the front hook of her lacy white bra, baring her breasts to his reverent gaze. Her breath stilled in her lungs as his mouth tenderly closed over one taut peak.

  It seemed it had been forever since he’d last touched her. Her body craved his as a flower craves light and water. She felt herself coming to life under his hands and mouth, as if she had lain dormant in his absence. Heat and electricity surged under the surface of her hypersensitive skin as he undressed her.

  As eager to please as to be pleased, Rebecca returned the favor, ridding Jace of his shirt and running her hands over the hard, athletic body she loved. Willingly she gave in to her desire, shutting out everything but the man and the moment. As they kneeled together on the bed, she dragged her lips across his chest, kissing and tasting, flicking her tongue across the tightly knotted flesh of his nipples.

  Jace groaned and reached between them, freeing himself from his jeans and briefs. He sighed as his most sensitive flesh pressed against Rebecca’s softness. Then her hand closed around him, stroking, teasing, tempting him, guiding him. She slipped him between her legs and moved against him, inviting him to take the final step to unite them in an act of love as old as time.

  “Becca, I love you,” he whispered as he lowered them both to the mattress and eased himself into her welcoming warmth.

  Rebecca arched to meet his thrust, the words of love she felt for him so deeply embedded in her soul, she couldn’t speak them, she could only feel them. She sought to let Jace feel them as well, through her movements, through her touch. She reached out to him, bound herself to him on a plane where no words existed.

  Their loving seemed to last forever. And when the end came, it went on and on, carrying them both on a wave of bliss. Then they floated down gently from the incredible height their love had taken them to. For a long time they were content to lie in each other’s arms, silent and complete as they listened to the rain.

  “How about that brunch?” Rebecca asked as she slid out of bed and slipped into Jace’s shirt. It fell to the tops of her thighs. She smiled sleepily as she flipped the collar up and caught Jace’s clean, masculine scent clinging to the fabric.

  Jace got up and pulled his jeans on. His attention was on Rebecca. His heart was in his throat. “How about we get engaged?”

  Rebecca’s hand stopped on the bottle of apple cider. Outwardly she appeared calm, but inside her was a riot of emotion, fear the chief among them. It seemed that the much-dreaded discussion of their future was at hand, and she had the sinking feeling Jace would not be sidetracked this time.

  Toying with the cork in the cider bottle, she said evenly, “I thought you needed to concentrate on your game right now.”

  Jace didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath until it began to burn in his lungs. He sighed and fleetingly wished for a cigarette. Somehow he had known Rebecca wouldn’t be overjoyed by his suggestion. Just the same, her reaction—or lack of it—hurt. He tried to push the hurt aside as he answered her.

  “I’ll be able to concentrate better knowing you’re here waiting for me.”

  She didn’t turn to face him but bowed her head as if in defeat. Her gaze rested on the delicate blue flowers he had sent her, so pretty, so fragile. “You know I’ll always be here waiting for you, Jace.”

  Her voice was low and heavy with resignation, telling him she wasn’t pleased with the realization she had finally come to face. Anger simmered deep inside him. Dammit, was it such a terrible hardship for her to love him? Did she really hav
e to make it sound like a life sentence in prison with no hope of parole?

  “You’ll be here waiting,” he said tightly, “but you don’t know that I’ll always come back. Is that it?”

  That was it in a nutshell, Rebecca thought. Guilt and shame lashed out inside her like twin whips. Jace had tried so hard to change. She had seen the effort and the results, but she couldn’t shake the fear that the changes were in part a knee-jerk reaction to his accident and his own guilt over what had happened to Casey Mercer. Time would tell, but Jace was asking her to cut that time to nothing.

  She turned to face him, almost wincing at the accusation in his eyes. “I just think you have enough pressure on you right now without making promises to me as well.”

  “Promises you don’t believe I’ll keep,” he said angrily. He jammed one hand on his bare waist, just above his low-riding jeans, and raked the other back through his tousled hair. “Dammit, Rebecca, what do I have to do to prove myself to you? I’ve changed. I’ve shown you how. I’ve shown you why. How many more hoops do I have to jump through?”

  “I know you’ve changed. I know why. I admire your loyalty to Casey, Jace, but I don’t want to wonder if I’m part of your penance.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  She squeezed her eyes shut and whispered, “Nothing.”

  “No,” he insisted, his jaw set at a belligerent angle. “You’re the one with the two-twenty IQ and the college education. Explain it to me.”

  Rebecca took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She could explain it until she was blue in the face, and he wouldn’t listen, not when he was feeling hurt and defensive. “You’ve had a terrible experience, you’re reacting to it. You told me something good had to come out of what happened to Casey. Maybe right now you think that something is marriage and a family.”

  His opinion of her theory came out in a stream of muttered curses. “That ridiculous. I love you, Becca. Just because my priorities changed after the accident doesn’t make them false.”