“Nikki, this is my brother Joshua. Josh? This is Nikki.”
If Joshua remembered Nikki, he hid it well. After a rather gruff hello in Nikki’s direction, Denise led him to the kitchen to help her start unloading and setting up all of the food.
“I can’t believe Ellie’s being so shy,” David observed when it was just he and Nikki standing in the entryway, Ellie still in his arms. He placed his index finger under the child’s chin to get her to look at him. When he finally succeeded and had Ellie smiling, he let himself relax and took her toward the kitchen to help with the dinner set up. “Don’t worry, baby girl; that’s just my big brother. He won’t hurt you,” he cooed to Ellie as they walked away.
Nikki stood rooted to the spot, trembling; all of the color had drained from her face. Denise walked over to ask whether Nikki wanted a beer or soda and noticed her friend’s condition. “Nik? What’s the matter? Are you all right?” she asked, placing a hand on Nikki’s arm.
“I…I um,” Nikki cleared her throat in an attempt to speak, her eyes were unblinking. “I was just a little surprised by David’s brother, that’s all.”
“He’s good-looking, isn’t he? Too bad he’s not into kids or I would have set the two of you up a long time ago.” Denise turned and looked into the kitchen and at the brothers. David was placing Ellie in her booster seat, chatting with her the whole time. What kept her staring was the fact that Joshua had joined in and was playing peek-a-boo with Ellie as well. Shaking her head in disbelief, she turned her attention back to Nikki.
“So, what’s got you all freaked out? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”
“I can’t tell you right now, Dee,” Nikki whispered.
“Tell me what?”
Huffing in agitation, Nikki said, “Didn’t I just say that I can’t tell you right now?” Without a word, Denise walked across the room, poked her head into the kitchen and gave instruction to David to start dishing out the food. “I’m going to go upstairs with Nik and grab a pair of slippers. These new shoes are killing me.”
Rolling her eyes at her friend’s flimsy excuse, Nikki followed her up the stairs nonetheless. Once inside her bedroom, Denise closed the door and demanded to know what was wrong.
“That’s Tyler,” she whispered nervously.
“Who?”
“Tyler. Ellie’s father.”
“Where?”
“Oh for crying out loud…your future brother in law!”
Denise looked at her as if she had grown a second head. “That’s impossible, Nik. Obviously he must just look like Tyler. You’re just being a little paranoid.”
“I guess that’s possible,” Nikki said, but she wasn’t one hundred percent convinced. “But if that’s not Tyler, then he most certainly could be his twin.” It took a moment for her to visibly relax. It was said that everyone had a twin, and it had been more than three years since she had seen Tyler; it was possible that her mind was playing tricks on her. Besides that, the man downstairs was named Joshua, not Tyler. Laughing at her own anxiety, she gave Denise a quick hug before throwing a pair of slippers at her and heading down the stairs.
Joining the men at the table, Nikki could feel Joshua watching her, but chose to avert her eyes. It was a bit unnerving to look into the eyes that had haunted her dreams for so many years and know that they weren’t the eyes that you’d thought they were. Conversation flowed and Ellie was the center of attention. They all laughed at how she flirted shamelessly with David and shared her food with him, and by the meal’s end, she was even offering to share her food with Joshua.
In a perfect world, this would be a typical Friday night; she and Tyler would be together, sharing a meal with their friends and their daughter. While she knew that there was nothing wrong with what was going on in front of her, it still brought a pang of regret to her heart. She had cheated her daughter out of the chance to have a father; a real family.
Ellie’s squeal of laughter shook Nikki out of her reverie and soon she found herself to be enjoying the meal and the company. When they all stood to clear the table, Denise shooed her out of the room so that she could get Ellie ready for bed. Carrying her daughter up the stairs, the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen made her smile. Yes, in a perfect world this would be exactly how it would sound, she sighed sadly.
Deciding to give Ellie a quick bath, she had her stripped and in the tub quickly. She was kneeling on the bathroom floor and singing ‘Itsty Bitsy Spider’ when her daughter looked up and waved. Turning her head, Nikki was shocked to find Joshua standing in the doorway.
“Joshwa!” Ellie squealed and waved her arms, causing water to splash all over the front of Nikki’s shirt.
Joshua smiled at the toddler, but then turned and glared at Nikki. She raised her eyebrows at him in question. “Is there something that you need?” she asked pleasantly, confused at his look of irritation at her.
“David wanted me to ask you if you wanted dessert. He’s going on an ice cream run and wanted to know if you wanted anything before the third period of the game begins.” It was a logical reason for him to be up here, she thought to herself, but she wondered why David, or Denise for that matter, didn’t come up and ask her themselves. Why send this man up to her bathroom who was a complete stranger?
“Ice cream sounds great,” Nikki said as she rinsed Ellie’s hair.
“Ice cream!” Ellie shouted and then splashed around some more.
“You can have yours tomorrow,” Nikki said mildly. “It’s time for bed now.” Pulling the plug from the drain, she prompted Ellie to stand and reached for a towel. “David knows what I like. Tell him to surprise me.”
“Bye, Joshwa!” Ellie yelled, and Nikki didn’t need to turn around to know that he was gone. Once she had Ellie dried off and changed into her pajamas, she quickly changed into a dry shirt before leading her daughter down the stairs to say goodnight to everyone.
David and Joshua were getting ready to head out the door but stopped when they saw Ellie. She jumped into David’s arms and planted a very wet, smacking kiss on his cheek and then giggled when he did the same to her. He was about to put her down when Joshua took the toddler from his arms and planted a soft kiss on the top of her head. “Thank you for sharing your dinner with me,” he said softly as he placed her back on the ground, his eyes unwilling to look away from her.
“Bye, Joshwa,” Ellie waved as she walked back over to her mother. Nikki watched as the men left, still a little in awe of what she had just witnessed. It was a very sweet scene. It was Denise, however, who looked as if she were going to need CPR.
“What’s the matter, Dee?” Nikki asked. Denise just stared at the now-closed front door, her mouth agape. When she received no answer, Nikki turned and picked up Ellie and took her up the stairs to put her to bed.
While she was reading ‘The Pokey Little Puppy’, she heard the men return. Ellie was near asleep when a shadow fell across her bed. Looking up, she found Joshua leaning in the doorway for the second time that evening. Nikki held her fingers across her lips to signal for him not to speak and then finished the final page of the story.
Confident that her daughter was asleep, she placed the book back on the shelf and walked toward the door. She looked up at Joshua questioningly as she turned off Ellie’s bedroom light.
“David’s got the game on,” he said quietly.
“Oh, okay.” Nikki realized that they were standing close together. Very close together. He smelled really good and his resemblance to Tyler took her breath away.
“Do you read to her every night before she goes to sleep?” he asked.
“Like clockwork.”
“Does she have a favorite book?”
“We went through a ‘Goodnight Moon’ phase, but now she only wants stories about farm animals. Her mood changes weekly.” They stood there outside the child’s room for what seemed like an eternity, eyes locked intently, but it was the sound of David’s cheering about the game that broke them out of their tran
ce and forced them to head back down the stairs.
Nikki had to remind herself over and over that the man with her was not Ellie’s father. Not Tyler. How was she supposed to spend time with this man, even if it was only for the day of the wedding, when he reminded her so much of the man she had walked away from?
Sitting on her oversized sofa next to Denise, she picked up the chocolate milkshake David had brought for her and focused all of her attention on the hockey game playing out on the TV and not on the man sitting across the room with his eyes seemingly only focused on her. As the game progressed, Nikki did her best to shrink from his field of vision, but when Denise stood to get herself a glass of water, there he was.
Still watching.
They cheered when required, cursed the goalie’s timing, and in general, had a great time. When the game ended, Denise stood and stretched; the tell-tale signal that she was ready to leave.
“Thanks so much for bringing dinner to me tonight,” Nikki said as she stood and began clearing their ice cream mess away. “It was quite a treat. I know that Ellie appreciated having someone other than me to play with.”
“Thank you,” David gushed, “for saving me from having to wear a suit and tie for dinner.” He bowed before Nikki and kissed her hand in a comical manner. “Now, when are you going to let us take baby girl for the night?”
“When her mommy isn’t afraid to be left alone in the house,” she said with a laugh as she playfully swatted him away.
Coats were gathered and put on and good-byes were said. Joshua stood on the outskirt of the small group, observing it all. He definitely felt like an outsider looking in, even though that was his brother and future sister-in-law standing there. He mumbled a good-night to Nikki as he walked out the door. She took no offense to his behavior; after all, he had been very kind to Ellie, and knowing what she did about him and how he felt about kids, she was impressed that he had stuck out with them for the entire evening and with such a pleasant attitude.
At the car, Joshua turned and looked at Nikki one last time before climbing in. He was so ruggedly handsome that Nikki placed a hand over her heart to try and calm its erratic beating in response to his heated gaze. There was a question in his eyes – eyes so green that she wanted to lose herself in them – and Nikki had to once again remind herself that it wasn’t her Tyler looking at her.
Her Tyler. Why didn’t you find me after such a glorious night? Her mind called out. As usual, there were no answers. If it weren’t for the sleeping child upstairs, Nikki would have questioned if Tyler had ever existed at all or if he had merely been a fantasy.
Chapter Two
A glance at her illuminated bedside clock told Nikki it was near midnight. The shrill ringing of the phone continued. Who would be calling her at this hour? She had gone upstairs to bed almost immediately after everyone had left and that was over an hour ago.
“H’lo,” she said sleepily into the phone.
“Nik, I’m so sorry to wake you, but David and I felt that we had to call,” Denise said, her voice laced with anxiety.
Nikki instantly sat up and tried to focus. “What’s the matter, Dee? Is everything all right?”
“Well…that depends.”
“On what?”
“On you.”
Turning on the bedside lamp, Nikki settled in for whatever dramatics Denise had in store. Propping her pillows up behind her, she got comfortable. “What’s going on?”
“I told David about your initial reaction to Josh tonight; you know, how you thought he was Tyler.”
“Oh-kay,” Nikki said slowly, silently willing her friend to get to the point so she could go back to sleep.
“Anyway, on the way back to our place tonight, Josh asked a lot of questions about you and Ellie; particularly about Ellie. Normally I wouldn’t think anything of it, but being that it was Josh asking, well…it just seemed a bit out of character.” Denise had an infuriating habit of taking the long way around getting to the heart of what she wanted to say.
“I’m not following you, Dee,” Nikki said with a loud yawn.
“By the time we got home, Josh seemed really agitated, and even though he had originally planned to spend the night here with us rather than driving all the way back to his place in Wilmington, once we turned the car off, he hopped in his truck and took off without a word.”
“And this applies to me…why?” she asked with frustration.
Denise paused. “Josh’s middle name is Tyler.”
That bit of information hit Nikki like a ton of bricks. Suddenly wide awake, she kicked off the blankets and began to pace the room. “So then I was right?” Her heart began to race like she’d run a marathon, and her throat went dry. “He’s Tyler; he’s Ellie’s father.” Her words were barely there, but she wasn’t really saying them for anyone’s benefit but her own.
“I can’t be one hundred percent certain, Nik; but it all makes sense. Joshua was like a different person tonight and now, looking back at him and Ellie, you can see the resemblance. I just wish he had stuck around a bit longer so that David could have talked to him.” In the background David was cursing and saying how he wished he could get his hands on his brother.
“Yeah, I supposed that would’ve…” Nikki’s words were cut short by a loud knock at her front door. A quick glance out her bedroom window showed a dark colored pickup truck in her driveway and although the front door area was not visible from the window, there was no doubt in her mind who was standing down there.
“What kind of car does he drive?” she asked with a sense of impending doom.
“A black pickup. Why?”
Nikki thought she was going to be sick. The room began to spin and her stomach clenched hard. “I think he’s here,” she whispered.
“What? Oh, no. What are you going to do? Do you want us to come over?”
“I don’t know,” Nikki said honestly as she grabbed for a robe to throw on over her night shirt. “But to prevent him from waking up Ellie as well as the whole neighborhood, I think I’m going to have to let him in.” She reached the bottom of the stairs and took a steadying breath. “Stay on the line for a minute, okay?”
“Okay,” Denise said and then began relaying to David what was happening.
“I can be there in ten minutes if you need me!” he yelled and Nikki smiled. If she weren’t so freaked out right now, she’d thank him. Unfortunately, all she could focus on was the man she was about to face.
The front door had an old-fashioned chain on it, so it only opened enough for her to peek out and see him standing there. Playing dumb, she whispered, “Joshua? What are you doing here?”
“I want to talk to you, Nicole, and you know why.” Tyler had been one of the only people in her life to ever call her by her given name.
“It’s after midnight,” she hissed. “Can’t this wait until morning?”
“No,” he said flatly and crossed his arms across his chest. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Wearily, Nikki closed the door and unchained it before opening it to let him in. “I’ll talk to you in the morning,” she said quietly into the phone.
“Call us at any time tonight if you need us,” Denise said.
“Thanks.” Hanging up, Nikki dropped her arms to her side. They stood in the entryway which now seemed very tight and crowded thanks to Josh’s presence.
He was bigger than she remembered, and for the life of her, Nikki wondered why she hadn’t noticed that fact when he was here in this exact spot earlier. At over six feet tall, he towered over her. His hair was a mess, as if he’d been raking his hands through it all night. But it was those eyes, the ones that mirrored her daughter’s that made her catch her breath.
“Come in,” she said hoarsely as she led him into the living room, switching lights on along the way. Tying her robe closed a little more tightly around her, she motioned for him to have a seat before sitting down on the opposite side of the room. They sat there in silence, assessing one another. Joshua spo
ke first.
“Ellie’s my daughter, isn’t she?” Okay, quick and to the point. Nikki couldn’t seem to force herself to speak; she merely nodded her head and was taken aback by his hiss of breath. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Of all of the times that Nikki had dreamed of this moment, it in no way went like this. She had dreamed of it being peaceful and full of declarations of love, not accusations. In her fantasies, he’d see her across a crowded room, rush over to her and tell her how he’d never stopped searching for her. Unfortunately, life was not like one of those romantic movies that she loved to watch. Nope; right now it was more like a bad soap opera.
Her voice returned with a vengeance. “Oh, and how was I supposed to do that, Tyler?” she spat. “I can’t believe that you gave me a fake name! Why would you do that?”
He at least had the good sense to look remorseful. “Hell, I don’t know. I just can’t believe that I have a daughter, and I didn’t even know it.” He stood and raked a hand through his hair before he came to sit beside her.”
“Well, you would have if you’d bothered to give me your real name or maybe even a phone number.”
“I’m not the one who took off in the middle of the night,” he reminded.
Now it was her turn to feel remorse. For more than three years she had agonized over this man. No, she had agonized over Tyler. The man sitting next to her was a stranger that she didn’t know.
“I want to get to know her, Nicole. I want to spend time with her and let her know that I’m her father. Does she know about me at all?”
“Would I be telling her about Joshua or Tyler?” she asked sarcastically with a raised eyebrow.
Angrily, he stood. “Look, I don’t know why I did what I did that night, okay? There’s nothing that you can say that would make me feel any worse than I already do, but you’re not completely blameless here either. You could have left me your number or at least told me your last name, you know.” His voice was raised, and then he suddenly remembered the child sleeping upstairs. Taking a deep breath, he willed himself to relax and sat back down. “The fact remains that you had my child; and now I’m here, and I want to get to know her. I don’t think that’s asking too much.”
Baby, I'm Yours (Life, Love and Babies) Page 2