“I wish you weren’t going out of town this weekend,” he finally said.
“It’s my dad’s birthday; we’ve had it planned for a while now. Besides, it’s only a weekend.” She could almost feel him pouting in the dark. “We knew we were going to have to try and work this out. I just don’t know how with our living so far away from one another.”
Josh was silent. In his mind, he knew how much he wanted Nicole and Ellie to come to Wilmington and live with him. He had a large house, and it would be perfect for the three of them. Unfortunately, he couldn’t be that selfish; Nicole had a job here that she loved, and he was already the cause of her having struggled for so many years, how could he possibly ask her to uproot her life for his convenience?
There were no easy solutions; for the time being they were going to be stuck in this holding pattern. He had hammered out a tentative schedule for the next couple of weeks that allowed him to travel more, and therefore, find time to be in this part of the state, making it easier to try and spend time with Nicole and Ellie.
“What are you going to do this weekend?” Nikki asked sleepily, snuggling up closer to Josh’s side.
“After taking you and Ellie to the airport tomorrow, I’m going to head home and do some paperwork. If it would be okay with you, I’d like to be the one to pick you up Sunday night.” He held his breath.
Nikki smiled against his chest before placing a kiss there. “It would definitely be okay with me. But isn’t that a lot of driving for you? Will you have to be back home Monday morning for work?”
“Actually, I’ve arranged my schedule so that I’ll be on the road quite a bit over the next couple of weeks. Most of the time, I’m going be around the state, primarily west of here. But then I’ve got a two-day trip up to Virginia and then another one down to South Carolina. I haven’t done anything like that in a while; I tend to look at jobs close to home, but there are some opportunities for expansion coming up that I’d like to get in on.”
“That sounds exciting,” she said around a yawn. “How long has it been since you’ve traveled out of state for a job?”
“About six months, easily.”
“How come?”
He shrugged. “I’m not comfortable doing it; the schmoozing and all of that. It’s like I can’t be myself.”
Nikki couldn’t quite say why, but that statement bothered her. Something about it just seemed to rub her the wrong way. Before she could examine it any further, Josh shifted and gently rolled her beneath him. “I know that you need to get up early,” he said softly, leaning forward and kissing her. “And I know that I should probably let you get some sleep.” Another kiss. “But…I…I…”
“What?” she whispered. “Tell me.”
“I need you.”
His honest admission put those niggling doubts from just a minute ago on hold. For right now, she needed him, too.
“I’m yours,” she said as she wound her arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer. Sleep was the last thing she needed right now.
Chapter Seven
“Oh, my gosh! Look at how my baby girl has grown!” Madeline Taylor exclaimed as she ran through the throngs of people in the baggage claim area and scooped her granddaughter up into her arms. “Nikki, she’s so beautiful!” Her stylishly cropped gray hair meshed with Ellie’s curly blonde locks as she held the toddler close.
Nikki smiled at the sight of her mother and her daughter. It was the first time she felt like smiling all day. Leaving Josh at the airport had been harder than she had expected, and she found herself second-guessing this trip. But as she looked over at Ellie hugging her grandmother and then how she squealed with delight when her grandfather came up behind her and pretended to scare her, she knew that she made the right choice. They made quite a picture, the three of them, and the sight made her smile.
As much as Nikki was used to taking care of herself and Ellie, having Josh there this morning while she was trying to get ready had been a godsend. Ellie had been thrilled to wake up and have her father there, and it made getting up so early a more pleasant experience because they all got to have breakfast together.
He had helped her load their luggage in the car, and at the airport, he had walked them as far as airport security would allow; and watching him say goodbye to Ellie had torn at her heart. It may have only been a couple of weeks, but it was already feeling wrong when they had to separate and say goodbye.
Walking behind her parents, she did her best to stifle a yawn. She and Josh had made love throughout the night, and although she knew that she was going to probably need a nap at the same time her daughter did, she wasn’t the least bit sorry. Being with Josh again, making love with him again, was everything that she had remembered and more. It wasn’t that she had a whole lot to compare it to, but Nikki was sure that you didn’t find that kind of chemistry between two people every day.
“How was your flight?” her dad asked as he picked up her luggage and loaded it onto a cart.
“Uneventful,” Nikki said with a thankful sigh. “It was much easier traveling with her now then it was when she was a baby.”
Huddled together in the pure happiness of being together, they walked out to the Taylor’s car and loaded all of the luggage into it. Nikki remained peacefully quiet and let Ellie chatter to her grandparents about her trip. At the mention of her daddy, Nikki felt her parents eyes hone in on her.
“We’ll talk,” was all she said in response to their silent query. Why hadn’t she thought about this before coming here?
Once back at the house, Madeline made lunch while Nikki settled herself and Ellie into the guest room. Ellie scampered off at some point to play with her grandfather and Nikki relished the brief bout of silence.
“So, Ellie’s father finally put in an appearance.” She looked up to see her mom frowning in the doorway. There was no condescending tone, no question, it was just a simple statement.
“Yes.”
Sitting next to her daughter on the bed, she reached over and took Nikki’s hand. “How do you feel about that?”
That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? How did she feel? This was so not a talk she wanted to have with her mother. When Nikki had originally found out that she was pregnant, her parents had respected her privacy and not pushed for information regarding the father of her child. Now, however, there was no way to avoid the topic. With a sigh of resignation, she turned to her mother.
“I want to thank you, mom, for being patient with me and never making me feel irresponsible for the choices that I’ve made.” Her mother smiled warmly at her and let Nikki continue. “I met Josh up at school right after graduation and fell in love with him at first sight.” Meeting the older woman’s yes that mirrored her own, she added, “Corny, right?”
Madeline chuckled softly. “That’s how I felt about your father the first time I met him, so I don’t think it’s corny at all.”
Nikki relaxed a little and shifted so that she was facing her mother. “He wasn’t a student there, he was just visiting someone for the weekend. One thing led to another and we spent the night together.” Bracing for some sort of backlash, she was surprised to see nothing but love and understanding in her mother’s eyes. “When I woke up, I was embarrassed and ashamed that I had actually gone to bed with someone that I barely knew, and I sort of…I left while he was still sleeping.”
“Understandable,” her mother said.
“I was so confused because we had such an incredible connection; we talked for hours and had so much in common, and it was quite honestly a perfect night.”
“Did you get in touch with him when you found out that you were pregnant?” Madeline was relieved to finally be having this conversation with her daughter. For years she had been curious but never wanted to pry; her first priority had been her daughter’s well-being, and talking about the man who had abandoned her didn’t seem to be in anyone’s best interest.
Nikki shook her head. “I didn’t even know his las
t name,” she said with a hint of disgust. “I spent an incredible night with a wonderful man that I thought I was in love with, and I didn’t even know his last name! What kind of person did that make me?” She placed her hands over her face and began to sob. Admitting all of this to her mother was mortifying. She so desperately didn’t want to lose her respect, but hearing her own words out loud, describing what she had done filled her with despair.
“Nicole, honey,” her mother said as she pulled her daughter in for a hug. “Don’t cry. You were swept away in the moment. Your father and I are not going to think any different of you because of this. We love you. We love Ellie. We’re proud of the choices that you’ve made and the way that you’ve made a wonderful life for the two of you. I know it hasn’t been easy for you, but always know that we love you.”
Nikki looked up through tear filled eyes and hugged her mom back. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you so much.” She clutched her mom like a life-line. It felt like a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
“So how did you find him after all this time?”
“You want to hear about a small world?” Her mom nodded. “He’s actually David’s brother. I met him when we all got together for dinner two weeks ago.”
“No!” Madeline said with disbelief.
“I know. He walked into my house and I thought I had been struck by lightning. The weekend that I met him, David and Denise were away. He never saw them, they never saw him, and none of us ever put two and two together.”
“But they knew he had been there, didn’t they?”
“Yes, but…”
“When you told them his name, didn’t they make the connection?
Oh, this was awkward. “Well, he wasn’t honest with me about his name, either.”
Madeline frowned. “You mean besides not giving you his last name, he gave you a fake first name?” Silently, Nikki nodded. “Oh, dear. I don’t think I like this man at all.” She stood and looked down at her daughter. “What kind of man does that?”
“He doesn’t know why he did it; he’s apologized for it over and over. The thing is, he’s great with Ellie. He’s crazy about her, and she’s crazy about him. How could I possibly deny them the opportunity to have a relationship?”
“I think you’re being more than generous, all things considered.” Her lips pursed with indignation. “Just how involved does he want to be?”
“After the wedding we’re going to work on a visitation schedule. As of now, he’s been around on the weekends, and he calls her every night via Skype and reads her a story before bed.”
“How touching,” she replied, oozing sarcasm.
“Mom,” Nikki began warningly. “I am trying to do the right thing here.”
“I know you are, sweetheart. I just don’t want to see you get hurt. You’ve been through so much already, and it’s not fair that this…this man just swoops in and gets to be a dad after all that you’ve sacrificed to take care of Ellie.”
“I’m sure if he’d known…”
“Well the fact is that he didn’t, Nicole, because he chose to be deceitful.” Nikki couldn’t even argue that fact with her because everything she was saying was the truth. “Who’s to say that he hasn’t done this sort of thing before? Or that he won’t do it again?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Going out of town, meeting women in bars or clubs, giving them a fake name, seducing them and walking away? Does he travel a lot for his job?”
The conversation from the previous night jumped to her mind. “No,” she lied. “Not really.”
“Well, you need to be careful. Who knows how many other children he has out there that he doesn’t know about.”
That thought did not sit well with Nikki at all. She didn’t think that Josh would do such a thing; again. After getting to know him, she didn’t want to believe that he’d be capable of being that kind of a person. The truth was, however, that for as much as she knew about him, there was so much more that she didn’t know. Josh wasn’t overly close with his family, and she even doubted that David would be able to say with any certainty what Josh was and wasn’t capable of.
“How do you feel about this man?” her mother asked quietly, interrupting her thoughts.
She couldn’t meet her mother’s eyes. Instead, Nikki fidgeted on the bed and plucked at an imaginary thread on the comforter.
“I see.” Sighing loudly, she sat back down and reached for Nikki’s hand. There were so many things that she wanted to say, but decided that this was something that her daughter needed to work out on her own. “Come on, let’s eat some lunch and let me spend some time with Ellie. I don’t get to see either of you often enough.”
“Mom, what about…”
“I’ll talk to your father about everything, so don’t worry. And whatever you decide to do, Nicole, we are behind you one hundred percent. Don’t ever doubt that.”
Standing, they hugged again, and Madeline wiped a stray tear from her daughter’s cheek and smiled. “Don’t fret about all of this. Let’s enjoy the weekend. Are you hungry?”
“Famished,” Nikki admitted and walked hand and hand with her mother to the kitchen, feeling both elated and confused at the same time.
****
Although the weekend seemed to fly by, once Nikki caught sight of Josh waiting for her and Ellie in baggage claim, she felt like she had been away forever. Ellie was so excited to see her father that she jumped from Nikki’s arms to get to him and then continued to talk non-stop all the way to his car.
They were on the road for less than five minutes when the child fell asleep. “Wow,” Josh said with a chuckle. “That was something.”
“She has two speeds; talking non-stop and sleeping.”
“How was your visit with your parents? Did you have a good time?”
Nikki told him all about the weekend – opting to leave out the details about her conversation with her mother about him. “It was so rushed and I wish that Ellie and I had more time with them, but they’re planning on coming to visit over the summer while I’m on break.”
“That will be nice for all of you, I’m sure.” He drove along silently for a few minutes. “Did you, um…did you tell them, you know, about me?”
Ugh. So not the topic she wanted to talk about. “Ellie talked about you a lot, so she sort of paved the way to let them know that you’re…here.” That didn’t sound good at all, did it? “My mom and I talked, and she’s happy for Ellie and the fact that you’re going to be involved in her life.” Good, Nikki. Very politically correct answer.
He nodded and decided not to probe any further. “I know it’s late, but did you have a chance to eat dinner yet?”
“We ate at the airport while we were waiting for our flight and then we snacked on the plane, so we’re good. How about you? Have you eaten?”
He shook his head. “I wasn’t sure what you were doing and I had thought that we’d get to have dinner together.”
“Oh, Josh…”
“No big deal.” He said to reassure her. “If it’s okay with you, I’ll grab something from a drive-thru on the way and eat it at your place.”
“That’s fine,” she said, relaxing. “Actually, I probably wouldn’t mind a snack.”
Josh detoured slightly and picked up their food, and they were back at Nikki’s in no time. With Ellie still being asleep, Nikki carried her in and changed her for bed while Josh took care of the food and luggage. They met up in the living room fifteen minutes later where he’d set up their dinner on the coffee table.
“It is so exhausting to travel with a child,” Nikki said as she collapsed on the sofa. “It’s hard to believe that someone so small creates so much chaos.”
“Wasn’t she good for you?”
Nikki reached for a french fry. “Ellie’s always good; it’s just that she has a lot of energy and is exceptionally curious. There is no sitting and waiting quietly for the flight, it’s walking around and talking t
o people, and getting snacks and drinks, and bathroom breaks…it’s exhausting.”
He laughed. “I know you’ll think I’m crazy, but I hope to experience all of that for myself some time.”
“You’re right; I do think you’re crazy.” Her tone was light, and she smiled at him. They ate for several minutes in companionable silence.
“You mentioned that you’re going to be traveling a bit over the next couple of weeks. Where do you have to be tomorrow?”
“Actually, I’m going to be heading out toward my parents in Charlotte. I’ll probably spend the night there and then I have another meeting over in the RTP area. That one should take a couple of days.”
“That’s not too far from here,” she said.
Taking a sip of soda, he paused. “Actually, I was wondering if maybe you’d mind if I stayed here while those meetings are going on. I promise not to disrupt your lives too much. I know that you’ve got school all week, but we’ll probably be leaving at the same time in the morning, and I should be back here by six each night. We could have dinner together, and I’d get to spend some extra time with Ellie before I head out on the other trips.”
It would have been so easy to just say yes, but unfortunately Nikki feared that by letting him stay for more than a night would only confuse Ellie. She shared her concerns with him and was surprised when he seemingly agreed. “I’m sorry; I didn’t even think about it like that.”
“She’s too young to understand our…situation,” Nikki said carefully. “I don’t want her getting used to having you here and then being upset when you’re not. Does that make sense?”
He nodded. “In my head it does, but my heart is saying that I want to spend time with the two of you. I know that we still have a lot to talk about and discuss with our schedules; but this is all so new, and I’ve missed so much. What if I explained to her about how I live someplace else and that I’m just here visiting like her grandmother and grandfather? What do you think?”
Baby, I'm Yours (Life, Love and Babies) Page 10