Apparently David’s speech ended – Nikki’s only indication was that she noticed that he was no longer standing – and then it was Tyler Masterson’s turn to get up and wax poetic about the soon-to-be newlyweds. Try as she might, Nikki just couldn’t force herself to hear a word. If anyone were to look at her, they’d think she was soaking up every syllable, but the truth was the only thing she was soaking up was a fantasy about her and Josh sneaking off to an isolated corner of the restaurant and letting their hands and mouths run free.
Where the heck had that even come from? What was it about this man that she couldn’t shake? He made her weak and needy, and ever since she had pushed him away, she had been more miserable than she’d ever imagined. Even more than she had been three years ago. Ellie had picked up on her mood and the two of them had been wandering around in a funk all week.
“To the bride and groom!” Tyler beamed, raising his glass in a toast. Everyone echoed the sentiment, and while Nikki raised her glass with the rest of them, she only took a token sip of her champagne. She didn’t particularly care for the stuff and knowing that she was driving after the dinner, it wasn’t necessary for her to have it.
“Something wrong with your drink?” Josh asked casually.
“I’m not much of a drinker,” she admitted lowly, feeling suddenly shy talking with him.
“Oh.” He turned his attention back to the crowd around the table before rising to make his own speech. Suddenly, Nikki was all ears. She didn’t look up as he stood, but instead kept her focus on her hands were twisting an innocent cloth napkin in her lap.
Clearing his throat, Josh began. “I knew the moment that David brought Denise home that she was the woman he was going to marry. It was written all over his face whenever he looked at her or even talked about her.” The happy couple exchanged goofy smiles and then turned their attention back to Josh. “I envy you, little brother, for finding the woman that you love and having her love you back.” Without conscious thought, Josh’s hand had settled on Nikki’s shoulder; his fingers tracing lazy circles on the silky skin that was exposed from her sleeveless dress.
“I want to thank you for being there and taking such good care of Ellie for me.” His eyes began to lightly well up. “It makes me feel so much better knowing that even since I wasn’t there for her, her Uncle David and Aunt Denise were.” He gently squeezed Nikki’s shoulder and she closed her eyes painfully. “I wish you two all of the happiness in the world.” He raised his glass to them and once again everyone toasted with him.
It instantly occurred to him where his hand was, and he quickly removed it as if he’d been burned. Placing his glass down on the table with disregard, he stalked out of the room. Nikki stared after him and wondered if she should follow. The arrival of their food stopped her, and she helped Ellie with her plate before trying to eat her own dinner.
There was so much noise and commotion around the table that Nikki didn’t notice Josh’s return some minutes later. It was the heat of his body so close to hers that told her he was there. She turned to look at him, her eyes full of questions that his refused to answer. It didn’t take long for her to lower her eyes and turn away. The rest of her meal lost its appeal, and she sat silently waiting for the time when she could leave.
After the dessert dishes were cleared away, Denise thanked everyone for coming and shrieked with delight that tomorrow was almost here and she’d finally get to be Mrs. David Masterson. Nikki couldn’t help but smile at her friend’s happiness. What must it feel like to be that in love and secure?
Looking around the restaurant, she noticed that Laura now held Ellie. Collecting their few belongings, Nikki crossed the room to claim her sleepy child. “She’s so well-behaved in all this chaos,” Laura said as she hugged Ellie softly to her. “Grandma was very impressed.”
“Thank you, Laura,” Nikki said as she took her daughter into her arms. “But if I don’t get her home and in bed soon, I’m not so sure she’ll be cooperative tomorrow. We’ll see you at the church.” Turning to walk away, she was surprised to feel a hand on her arm.
Laura looked at her with sympathetic eyes. “I know it’s none of my business, but…” she bit her lip and contemplated her next question. “Is everything all right with you and Josh? You both seemed rather distracted this evening.”
Sighing, Nikki said, “It’s just complicated right now. We haven’t settled on a visitation schedule, and between his job and the fact that Ellie and I were already committed to certain things, well…this is just going to take some time and getting used to, that’s all.
Laura’s eyes softened and she accepted Nikki’s words. “Take that sweet girl home and put her to bed. We’ll see you tomorrow, Nicole. Have a good night.” She leaned in and gave Nikki a kiss on the cheek.
Tears burned in Nikki’s throat and she called out a blanket good-bye to everyone as she rushed for the door, hoping that no one would notice her emotional state. She had Ellie buckled into her car seat and was walking around to the driver’s side when she heard footsteps approaching. She turned to see David walking toward her; his expression was painfully serious.
He pulled her into his embrace without a word and Nikki’s resolve crumbled. He rubbed his hand up and down her back until her sobs quieted. When she was able to compose herself, she looked up at him and smiled weakly.
“Sometimes it helps to have a shoulder to cry on,” he said softly.
“How did you know that’s what I needed?”
“I know you better than you think, Nikki. Denise and I both noticed that something seemed off, and she asked me to make sure that you were all right.” Raking a hand through his hair, he looked around. “If that brother of mine had any sense, he’d be out here with you right now.”
“David,” Nikki warned, “I don’t want this situation with me and Josh to come between the two of you. Please. Especially not the night before your wedding. Go back inside and celebrate some more. Normally I’d love to stay, but Ellie’s exhausted and I want her at her best for you tomorrow.”
David pulled her into his embrace again. “Is there anything I can do, Nik?”
She pulled back and shook her head. “I wish there was; I really do. This is something that I have to work out on my own.” She stood on tip-toes and kissed him soundly on the cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
He nodded and held the door for her as she climbed into the car. “We worry about you. Don’t hesitate to call if you need anything.”
“Thank you, but right now all I need is to get home.” David closed the door and watched her drive way. Standing in the middle of the parking lot, he turned and faced the restaurant and saw Josh standing in the entryway, his expression pained.
In three long strides, David stood nose to nose with him. “If you ever do anything to make her look the way she did tonight ever again, you’ll have me to deal with,” David said menacingly. “And believe me, big brother, I’d enjoy taking you down.” Without waiting for a replay, David stormed back into the restaurant and swiftly sought out his fiancé and pulled her into his embrace.
The air outside was so still it was stifling. Josh contemplated getting in his car and going to Nikki’s. Loosening his tie, he lifted his eyes heavenward as if looking for a sign. How could he possibly make this situation any worse than it already was? He thought about how he felt when Nicole had started walking down the aisle toward him earlier today. In a flash he had imagined it was their wedding day, and he could visibly see her walking toward him in a white silk gown that flowed all around her as she walked. He could even picture his daughter walking with her in a miniature version of the dress.
Emotions welled up in his throat and nearly choked him. Josh had felt so smug and confident that he could just charm his way back into her bed, her life, her future, that he hadn’t counted on one thing – his own feelings for her. It had been painful to stand with her and not touch her. Be honest with yourself, you found every excuse to touch her. It just wasn’t enough. Ta
king her arm and walking up the aisle had merely stoked the fantasy in his head. Sitting next to her at dinner tonight had him itching to reach under the table and hold her hand, caress her thigh as it pressed against his.
He deserved to rot in hell for all of the ways he had poorly behaved since meeting Nicole. But someday very soon, he would repent and ask – no, beg – for her forgiveness. It was more than he really deserved to have her forgive him just as it was more than he deserved to have her love him. He wanted both. He craved it like he craved his next breath.
When she had told him that she didn’t want a future with him, it had hit him hard; his reaction to her words was a knee-jerk one. He never should have just given up; never should have just walked away. It may have only been five days, but it felt like so much more; and instead of doing everything in his power to prove her wrong, to show her that he wasn’t the man she thought him to be, he’d pouted. True, he’d put the last several days to good use; not that anyone would know it.
And pretty much confirmed what a Grade-A jerk he was. No wonder she didn’t trust him.
He needed to show her who he really was; that he was a man who was honest and faithful. A man who was in love with one woman and one woman only and had been for more than three years. Soon there would be no leaving parties separately. No going to separate houses in different cities. They’d go home together.
Josh clung to that thought as he hung his head and turned to go back into the private party to say his good-nights to his family. He was staying at David’s but had his own key, so he didn’t have to wait on his brother. There was no need for him to hang around and drag everyone down with his foul mood.
An hour later he was lying alone in David’s guest bedroom and was completely restless. A month ago, he had been fine with the direction of his life. His business was more successful than he could have ever imagined, he traveled, had good friends and was content. But now, as he lay there in the solitude of the double bed, he came to the grim realization that his life wasn’t as great as he’d led himself to believe.
All these years, Josh had convinced himself that he had all that he needed to be happy. After having Nicole and Ellie in his life, he knew what he felt before was all a lie. He had merely been going through the motions. With Nicole and Ellie, Josh could see the fulfillment that was elusive at the moment.
Having the freedom to come and go as he pleased as he had for years now gave him no pleasure. Those few short days that he had stayed at Nicole’s house had showed him what real pleasure could be. He wanted someone to come home to; someone to go places with him.
Not just someone; he wanted Nicole.
Frowning, he remembered how she looked as she left the restaurant tonight – the sadness filling her blue eyes. He had watched her leave and tried to remain detached, but after spotting his brother going after her, he had to see for himself what was going on. Watching her cry on David’s shoulder had made his gut clench. David’s reaction to Nikki’s feelings wasn’t surprising; a man would have to have ice running through his veins to not want to protect her from all of the sadness in the world. What irritated him more than anything was that it was David who thought to go and comfort her.
Because he had been the one to cause her so much pain.
How could a man who was responsible for a multi-million dollar company be so completely ignorant in how to handle a relationship with the woman he was in love with? Rolling to his side, he punched the pillow and tried to clear his mind of the image of Nicole crying. His entire body ached with the need to go to her. A glance at the clock showed that it was after midnight. There was no way he could just go over there now; it was too late for that.
The thought of spending the entire day with her tomorrow made him smile sadly. Maybe, somehow, he’d be able to show her how sorry he was; prove to her that he loved her and was the only man for her.
He could only hope that he wasn’t too late.
Chapter Nine
Nikki knew she was in serious trouble by the time the bridal party exited the church. From the moment of their arrival, Josh’s eyes had watched her like a hawk. It was a complete one hundred and eighty degree turn from the cold indifference he had been treating her to for the last week. True, it was at her own request, but she didn’t think he’d go to such extremes.
At any given point in the ceremony, she could look up and find his smoldering gaze on her. Several times, that look almost made her knees buckle with its intensity. When David and Denise faced their guests for the first time as husband and wife and headed up the aisle, Josh didn’t even wait for Nikki to move before walking over to her and Ellie and claiming them both for the walk to the receiving line. He never said a word to her – verbally – but his eyes and his body language were speaking to her in ways that made her want to run for cover.
His fingers gently skimmed the sensitive skin of her upper arm and just as the first of the guests was about to greet them, Josh leaned in close to Nikki’s ear and whispered, “You look absolutely beautiful today, Nicole. Denise doesn’t hold a candle to you.” His mouth lingered just a wee-bit longer and his hot breath sent a shiver down her spine. She felt color creep into her cheeks as she averted her eyes.
Before she could even take a breath, wedding guests were upon them. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Josh smirk at her flustered state. What was he up to? Why the sudden turn around? And today of all days!
Plastering her most dazzling smile on her face, Nikki went about greeting everyone that came her way. Josh made sure that he introduced her to each and every one of them while placing his hand on the small of her back. If she were able to see back there, she knew she’d find his hand print permanently embedded in her skin.
It wasn’t much better on the limo ride to take pictures. The driver had installed Ellie’s car seat and luckily that only left room for Nikki to be on one side of her while Josh was on the other. Feeling relief to be free of his touch for at least a brief time, she very nearly jumped out of her skin when Josh placed his arm across the back of the leather seat and began to caress her shoulder while he spoke to Ellie. If it weren’t completely inappropriate, she would have screamed in frustration. Unfortunately, the bride and groom only had eyes for each other which meant that Nikki was on her own.
“Ellie looks ready to drop,” Josh said quietly as he looked down at his daughter who was trying valiantly to keep her eyes open. “Will she be all right if we let her take a short nap?”
“Yes,” she said casually, keeping her eyes trained out the window, knowing full-well that Ellie just naturally dozed in the car no matter where they went. Josh’s long fingers found their way to the nape of her neck and began tracing tantalizing circles until she had no choice but to look at him. The pent-up frustration was just about to fly when Denise spoke to them.
“We’re heading over toward the seminary to take some pictures in their gardens and then we’ll go and hang out at the hotel before the reception, okay?”
Sure, like we have a choice, Nikki thought to herself. “That sounds fine,” she finally answered.
“Our parents are meeting us for pictures as well. We thought it would be nice to have some family pictures taken in the garden as well. Don’t you think it’ll be lovely, Nik?”
“Absolutely.” She smiled for her friends, but her heart and mind were elsewhere; focused on the hand that was quietly awakening every cell in her body.
Soon they were parking the large luxury car, and the driver was helping Denise out. David emerged next and Nikki handed Ellie to him. Josh climbed out and held a hand out to assist Nikki. Groaning with frustration, she graciously accepted his help and emerged from the car. The champagne colored silk of her dress shone brightly in the sunlight. The straight full-length skirt would have been awkward to move in had it not been for the long slit along the side. Almost the entire length of her leg was exposed as she exited the limo and she watched as Josh swallowed hard at the sight of her.
Within minutes the phot
ographer was posing everyone and snapping away. For the bridal party shots, Josh continuously had his hands on her; gently, lovingly. Nikki fought hard against the urge to lean back into him when standing in blazing sun started to feel overwhelming.
When both sets of parents arrived for the family shots, Nikki discreetly stepped aside while the photographer situated everyone.
“Wait!” Josh said impatiently. “Nicole, come stand with me.”
Nervously, Nikki stared at him, unsure of what to do. When she didn’t move, he walked over to her.
“What’s the problem?” he asked casually.
“These are family shots.”
“And…”
She rolled her eyes with annoyance. Why was he making her spell everything out? “Ellie is in the pictures; I don’t need to be.”
“I want you to be in the pictures, Nicole. You’re family.” His words were so soft; they warmed her already heated skin, but pleasurably.
Staring at him with sympathetic eyes, she said, “No, I’m not. Please go and stand with your folks so that we can get out of the oppressive sun.” It pained her to say it, but it was the truth. She would forever be bonded to this group through Ellie, but that did not make her family.
“Sir?” the photography inquired, anxious to finish up the group photos while the sun was at its peak.
“Please…” Josh began as he reached a hand out to hers.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Nik; get your butt in the picture so we can be done with it!” David shouted. “This tie is about to choke me, and as much as I love you, I will hurt you if you continue to prolong my misery!” His face was full of mischief and Nikki let her guard down and took Josh’s hand and let herself be positioned into the family portrait.
It was a nice feeling.
****
Baby, I'm Yours (Life, Love and Babies) Page 12