Double Happiness: One Man's Tale of Love, Loss, and Wonder on the Long Roads of China

by Tony Brasunas

  Epilogue

  活到老學到老

  還有三洋沒有學到

  Live to old age, study to old age,

  Still there is much you will never learn.

  Chinese proverb

  Today I’m in San Francisco. After leaping home to St. Louis and living there several years, I followed my intuition here. It’s now been many years. The lessons that I learned in the classrooms and mountains of China remain with me. They are the inspiration for how I create my life today—trusting and grateful, choosing love, curious about every fear, dying every necessary small death, open to the eternal growth around me and within me. I long for every one of us to discover what we truly want, and to create it, to live it, to be what we long for, to do what pleases us most deeply. I long for us to connect with each other, to inspire each other, to open ourselves to the depths of our every experience.

  There are always many deaths, big and small. I fell ill with persistent sinusitis shortly after returning home. My recovery was slow. A friend, Mark Schulte, contacted me about writing a small article on teaching English in China. I declined; I didn’t consider myself a writer. But he insisted—he was launching a new magazine and its first issue remained thin—and finally I acceded. A mass of prose effortlessly poured forth. Writing proved essential, and writing restored me. I still had so much more to learn, as it seems we always do. China was but the beginning. And yet that beginning revealed to me the path that I needed to take to reconnect deeply with my parents, my brother and sister, my friends, and my own body. May we all grow, as the universe does, continuously, everywhere.

  I did go learn about Nicaragua, Chile, and Iran, as I promised myself in Xiahe, and what I discovered primarily was my own naiveté. My research often led to a discomfiting discovery and a heavy heart. The critics of the U.S. are largely correct: American intervention in countries around the globe has almost never been intended to spread democracy or fairness or the values that American citizens share, but rather to expand the wealth and power of America’s military and to advance the interests of its biggest corporations and wealthiest people. We Americans are propagandized to believe otherwise, and many do, as I did. The events of 9-11, about which there remain many questions, produced an enormous opportunity for goodwill towards and among people of all nations; that we responded to that opportunity for growth as a nation by launching more interventions of the same kind saddened me deeply. But still I hope and expect that we as a country will grow.

  On the question of how to affect China—how to make it more peaceful, more democratic, more environmentally sensitive, more politically friendly—I’ve come to see that we as a nation need only to demonstrate the behavior we advocate. China wants, more than anything, to be a “superpower”—and a respected one—as it was a short five centuries ago. The way it is going about becoming such a power today is by following the example, like a son would a father, of the nation to whom it looks up: the United States. It takes its cues from us.

  Today I write about the media and politics as an avocation, as well as play guitar and compose songs in Chinese and English. I make my living primarily through website programming.

  My parents remain in St. Louis. My father’s career—suit, tie, and all—took my family to several cities and eventually made them wealthy when his St. Louis telecommunications company built a network of fiber optic cables that became a backbone of the internet.

  Byron is near me, across the Bay in Berkeley, California, pursuing a Ph.D. in Political Science. His area of focus is East Asia, and as I write this he is in Beijing doing research on labor law and reality at two rural Chinese factories.

  Lauren lives in Washington, D.C., working for the Department of State, focusing on trade, and international development in Southeast Asia.

  Paige, living in Seattle with her husband Travis and two children, does children’s programming at radio station KUOW, an NPR affiliate.

  Anton is in Boulder, Colorado, lecturing as an Assistant Professor of English. He enjoys mountain climbing and kayaking.

  Michiko and I wrote back and forth for nearly a year in both Chinese and English, but the conversation eventually went quiet, and I’ve lost track of her.

  Chantal worked for several years with the Canadian consulate in Abidjan, Ivory Coast, in West Africa. Now she lives in Ottawa, working with the Minister of Foreign Affairs and International Trade. She sent me an email one day, remembering the night on the bus to Kunming. “I remember a fabulous sky. There were so many stars; the little spaces of darkness that I could find were deep black. Wow. I was feeling very good and must admit that the temptation was strong. I wanted to put my head on your shoulder. But after those two days of neglecting your nice attention, I could not change my mind so easily!” She is planning a trip to California.

  I am planning travels to South America.

  A Glossary of Chinese Terms

  1元 = 1 Yuan = 1 Rénmínbì (RMB) = 10 máo = $0.12

  $1 = 8.30元

  白酒

  báijiŭ

  Baijiu, China’s famous sorghum vodka (literally: “white liquor”)

  包寧同

  Bāo Tóngníng

  Tony Brasunas (“common peace”)

  长江

  Cháng Jiāng

  Yangtse River (“long river”)

  大鼻子

  dà bízi

  Foreigner (“big nose”)

  单位

  dānwèi

  Work Unit (“single position”)

  独立

  dúlì

  Independent (“sole stand”)

  风水

  fēngshuĭ

  Ancient Chinese geomancy (“wind water”)

  腐败

  fŭbài

  Corrupt (“rotten decay”)

  干杯

  gānbēi

  Cheers! (“dry glass”)

  广州人

  Guăngzhōurén

  Canton resident (“Guangzhou person”)

  共产党

  Gòngchăndăng

  The Communist Party (“shared manufacturing political party”)

  个体户

  gètĭhù

  Street vendor (“individual body door”)

  狗屁

  goŭpì

  Bullshit (“dog farts”)

  关系

  guānxì

  Social connections (“closed system”)

  鬼佬

  gwailo

  Foreigner (“devil man”) [Cantonese]

  很好

  hĕn hăo

  Very good (“very good”)

  华侨

  huáqiáo

  Overseas Chinese person (“brilliant abroad”)

  回归

  huíguī

  The Return to the Motherland [of Hong Kong] (“return converge”)

  胡萝卜

  húluóbò

  Carrot (“barbarian radish”)

  胡同

  hútòng

  Winding narrow city alley (“barbarian share”)

  国民党

  Kuómíntăng

  The Nationalist Party (“nation people political party”)

  老百姓

  lăobăixìng

  The masses (“the old 100 names”)

  老师

  lăoshī

  Teacher (“old master”)

  老外

  lăowài

  Foreigner (“old outsider”)

  没关系

  méi guānxì

  It doesn’t matter (“doesn’t have any connections”)

  你好

  nĭ hăo

  Hello (“you good”)

  旗袍

  qípáo

  Traditional Chinese woman’s formal gown (“banner robe”)

  人民币

  rénmínbì

  RMB, the Chinese currency (“the people’s money”)

  市场

  shìchăng

  Market (“city site”
)

  我听不懂

  wŏ tīngbudŏng

  I don’t understand (“I hear but don’t get”)

  休息

  xiūxī

  Rest, midday siesta (“rest breath”)

  习惯

  xíguàn

  Become accustomed to (“practice repeat”)

  一路顺风

  yī lù shūn fēng

  Bon Voyage, Safe Journeys! (“a smooth breezy road”)

  再见

  zàijiàn

  Goodbye (“again see”)

  早安

  zăo ān

  Good morning (“early peace”)

  中国

  Zhōngguó

  China (“central nation”)

  粽子

  zòngzi

  Steamed rice dumpling wrapped in bamboo leaves (“palm piece”)

  Acknowledgments

  感謝您們

  Thank you.

  I wish it were possible to mention all the friends, family, colleagues, and strangers who provided assistance along the way to creating this book. Writing coach Tom Bird dropped the first seed of this book into my brain, and wise book designer, Joel Friedlander, and talented cover designer, Laura Duffy, together put the final touches on the finished product you have in your hands. In between, I crossed paths with dozens of people who proved essential in completing this labor of love, and I am ineffably grateful to every one of them.

  I would like specifically to thank: Jim Brasunas, Lynne Michelson, Pamela Mendoza Brasunas, The Heilbut Family, Maurine Heard, Joshua D. Bruzgul, Lainie Fairbanks, Ellen Brasunas, Jenifer K. Chan, Sir Gemmers, Jerome Michelson, Mark Pinto, Christine Schutz, Rev. Ritter, Robert Arnow, Joan Elizabeth, The Awaken Cafe, Michael & Sanda Brasunas, Chris Ross, Al Mendoza, The Bacon/Mulder Family, MD, Emile Litvak, Michael Park, Jon ‘J-Stick’ Ayers, Brian & Tamara Lemesh, Peggy Duffield, Jeddy Azuma, Mike Simpson, Reijo Oksanen, Susan Hollingshead, Phil Pusateri, Omar Cuellar, Jessi Callihan, Amanda Joost, Kevin Christaldi, John C. Brasunas, Greg Christoffel, Chris Chromey, Anna, Steve Atherton, Anne Buzzard, Maria Bucaro, K.C. Cavanagh, Elliot Cahn, Stephanie Smith, Jonathan Bloch, Angie & Chuck Becerra, Jack & Roberta Chromey, Kate & Howie Cockrill, Jon & Edie Michelson, Wesley Hedden, Andy VanSickle-Ward, Robin Cahn, Danny, The Sandler/Michelson Family, Elizabeth Amideo Watson, Walter Schweikert, Benjamin Robert Freidenberg, and Jonah Larkin.

  I would also like to thank Lara Ortiz-Luis for making a superb Kickstarter video, Nicole Francois for her editorial insights and expert proofreading, and Estelle Kim for creating the gorgeous maps and illustrations in this book.

  Finally, and most of all, I would like to thank my wife Pamela, whose amazing love inspires me daily to keep growing, to keep learning, and to keep opening my heart.

  Thank you for reading.

  We invite you to share your thoughts and reactions.

  Connect with Tony Brasunas and Double Happiness.

  www.DoubleHappy.be

  www.facebook.com/DoubleHappy

  www.goodreads.com/TonyBrasunas

  www.twitter.com/tonybrasunas