Merry Christmas, Babies

by Tara Taylor Quinn

  THE FOLLOWING WEEK, Joe came home to several festively wrapped packages under the tree.

  “You went out shopping? In this weather? With the holiday crowds?” Was the woman hell-bent on driving him crazy? Didn’t she see how hard it was to leave her in this condition at all? How much he worried every single minute he was apart from her? And most of those when he wasn’t?

  She was so huge she was off balance much of the time. And the things that could go wrong at this stage—the five lives that could be lost…

  “Calm down, Joe,” she said now, dryly. “I watch the home shopping channel, remember? These things have been arriving for days.”

  He was never going to make it to her delivery date.

  ON SATURDAY, DECEMBER 9, gestational age 32 weeks, Elise went into labor. She’d been in the hospital for almost a week, fighting gestational hypertension.

  “I’m on my way,” Joe told her, cell phone to his ear as he left Samantha and Darin in the kitchen waiting for him to fill their bowls with the can of dinner he’d just opened.

  “You don’t have to come, Joe. They’ll call…” Her voice was weak and he stepped on the gas.

  “You don’t think I came all this way to miss the grand event, do you?”

  Though he’d visited her every night that week, they’d never discussed the actual birth—other than in terms of the ninety-four percent chance of C-section delivery and requisite recovery time.

  There was just no way he could leave her to go through this alone.

  No way he could sit around and wait to hear that she was all right.

  “Thank you.”

  “Are you crying again, woman?”

  “No.” She sniffled.

  “Okay, good. Just checking.”

  He continued talking inanities with her until he’d reached the part of the hospital where he had to turn off his cell phone.

  SHE WAS NO LONGER in her room. Joe, rounding the corner to see the empty bed, panicked. He turned urgently back to the hall, searching frantically for anyone who could direct him. He grabbed an orderly who knew nothing about Elise, but who knew enough to find him a nurse.

  The woman, a weekend fill-in, assumed Joe was the father of Elise’s children and had him garbed in blue scrubs and a mask before he could tell her he wasn’t. Down the hall from the sleeping rooms, past the birthing rooms, she held open a silver door.

  “Right in there.”

  The room reminded him of the set of a local morning television show he’d been on when he’d done a professional employees’ organization infomercial. Rapidly moving and focused personnel all close to wired machines, busy doing stuff he knew nothing about.

  And monitors everywhere.

  “Joe, right over here.” Dr. Braden came up behind him. “She’s just been prepared for surgery.”

  On the far side of the room, past two crib-looking things on wheels, Elise was semi-propped up in swaths of green cloth. A green elasticized cap covered her short dark hair.

  “Hi.” She smiled wearily.

  He found her hand, took hold of it. He wasn’t moving until she was safely through this.

  “They’re doing a cesarean.”

  He’d figured as much. “Everything okay?”

  “So far.”

  “Everything’s going to be just fine.”

  She nodded.

  “It’ll be quick this way.” Dr. Braden had discussed the process with them. They didn’t have to worry about pushing, or breathing. They just had to hang out and let the professionals do their jobs. “Once we get going, it’ll only be a couple of minutes before you’re holding your babies.”

  “I’m scared, Joe.”

  Her fear fed his.

  And his job was to be calm. Convincing.

  “My friend told me once, not too long ago, that we do all we can and then someone else will do the rest,” he said. “Well, you’ve done all you can, and now it’s time for Dr. Braden to step in.”

  “I know.” She licked her lips.

  Joe looked for the little plastic pitcher of water that had been beside her bed all week, and, not finding it, requested one. He was given a cup full of ice chips and told he could only rub them along her lips. She wasn’t to consume anything until after surgery.

  Sheets were moved, exposing only a thin portion of Elise’s lower abdomen area. A tray of utensils appeared and Joe turned his back.

  “What if she doesn’t have an arm?” Elise whispered.

  “She’ll learn to do things with one hand.”

  Babies were about to be brought into the world only a foot behind him. Elise’s babies. The children he’d spent the past six months helping her prepare for.

  Adam Fallow’s children. Or one of the other four donors.

  “Thank you, Joe. For everything. These past months…”

  “Ssshhh.” He brushed tears from her cheek. “You’ve been taking care of me for fifteen years, partner. And I’m counting on you to continue doing it for the next forty-five.”

  At work.

  “I love you.”

  He wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. And then had the idea that she’d been speaking to someone else. Or was out of her mind.

  Elise wasn’t the sort of person who said, “I love you.”

  “I didn’t mean to say that.” Her voice was husky, weak. “You’re the first person I’ve said that to since I was eleven years old.”

  He couldn’t believe this was happening. Now. In the middle of a surgical birthing room with her stomach being plundered, surrounded by God knew how many people.

  “So you didn’t mean it.”

  Why weren’t babies crying?

  “Oh, I meant it. I just didn’t expect to tell you.”

  He had absolutely no idea what to do. Or say. And was bothered by the lack of baby sounds.

  “It’s good for friends to love each other, don’t you think?”

  “Yes.” An answer he knew.

  “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

  They must have given her more than the local anesthetic that had been discussed earlier in the week.

  “Same here.”

  “Joe, I feel kind of funny….”

  “Blood pressure’s dropping.”

  A male nurse pushed Joe aside, reaching for the oxygen mask above Elise’s head. Someone else ushered him rapidly out of the room, but not before he heard the nurse’s urgent words.

  “We’re losing her!”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  JOE PACED THE HALL in front of the family waiting room on the maternity floor for about two minutes. And then, in a cell-phone-safe area, he dialed his mother’s number.

  “Elise is in trouble.”

  “Where are you?”

  He named the hospital.

  “We’re on our way.”

  KATE WAS THERE. And Kenny. His mother and father sat on either side of him. The rest of his siblings were at home with their kids, but sitting close to the phone.

  They had the waiting room to themselves. Someone had decorated it for Christmas since he’d last seen the place several days before. A small tree sat on the corner magazine table. Red and green metallic garlands, hung from the ceiling, ran all around the room. Handmade childish renditions of paper ornaments adorned the walls.

  “I can’t lose her.”

  “God’s will is stronger than yours, son.”

  “Hard to believe, huh?” Kenny quipped, then quickly sobered.

  It had only been half an hour, but Joe felt like he’d been wrapped in cotton for days. “I can’t imagine life without her in it.”

  “I thought you guys were only business partners,” Kenny said.

  “We are.”

  “Well, you sound more like you’re lovers.”

  “Kenny!” Kate slapped his thigh.

  Joe went cold. She’d said she loved him. And he’d lost his chance to tell her that he loved her, too.

  “We’ve been together a long time.” He aimed the los
t words at his brother.

  He loved her. No wonder the idea of Adam Fallow stepping in had grated so much.

  “I kept waiting to hear babies cry, but there wasn’t any sound.”

  “You were with her?” His dad’s words rang with his surprise.

  “Joe’s been living with her.” This from Kate.

  “You have?” His mother turned to study him.

  “You have?” Kenny’s mouth fell open.

  “Just until the babies come. She couldn’t be alone at night.” The reason sounded weak, but he stood by the decision he’d made. “Kate’s taking over afterward.”

  “You’re just going to move out and leave Elise there?” His mother sounded none too pleased.

  He glanced at his watch. Thirty-five minutes. What was taking so long?

  Was she even still alive? Oh, God.

  “You’d move out on that babe?” Kenny asked.

  “In case you guys missed it, she’s in there giving birth to four kids.” Please, God, let that be so. “All at once. How well do any of you think I’d do there? This is me we’re talking about. Surely you all remember how I was when the four little ones came along in our family?”

  Why wasn’t someone coming to get him?

  “How was that, Joe?” Clara asked. “As I recall, you were everyplace I needed you, when I needed you. I used to brag to my friends that you were going to be a great father some day.”

  Where was Dr. Braden?

  “You had the patience of Job,” Kate said. “I remember walking into the family room one time and seeing you on the floor, your head propped up in your hands as you watched TV, and one of the little ones, I forget who right now, was sitting on your back pulling your hair. You kept swatting at that little hand, but you were so tolerant. You just lay there, watching cartoons.”

  He didn’t remember that at all.

  And what about Baby Grace? Had they saved her? Did she have both arms? And a strong heart?

  “You sure made me look like a slump,” Kenny said. “‘Kenny, we can’t play ball now, we have to get home,’” he mimicked. “‘Kenny, hurry up, the kids’ll be waking up and Mom’ll be mad if we aren’t there….’”

  He did remember that. The basketball and baseball games he’d missed. The pressure, the hurry, and still, more often than not, in spite of his attempts to prevent it, the house would be in total chaos by the time they got home from school.

  He’d give them five more minutes to come out of that delivery room and then he was going in. It was inhuman what they were doing to him, making him sit here like this not knowing if any of the five people he’d spent six months caring for were even alive.

  “I hid out in the attic,” he said, having no trouble dredging up the memory, since it had happened so often. “You all know that. Eventually you guys let me move up there.”

  “Because you seemed to like it there so much,” Edward said. “You gave so much of your time to the family, we thought you deserved some time to yourself.”

  He gave so much to the family?

  “Every night when I went to bed, you and Mom were so tired you could hardly see straight, and there was still someone whining at you to do something, get something, and I’d feel like a heel for leaving you to it, but I couldn’t wait to get away.”

  “That was our responsibility, Joe, not yours,” Clara said, her voice as firm.

  “One we wanted,” Edward added. “Sure we got tired, but when we went to bed at night, our hearts were full.”

  “You were just a boy,” Clara continued when his father finished. “Getting away wasn’t a prize, but a right. I thought you knew that.”

  He didn’t know what he knew anymore. The four people facing him had been with him all those growing-up years. In that house, with all the chaos. And their memories were so different from his, he thought they’d all lost their minds.

  The only other option was that he had. And he wasn’t equipped to consider that right now.

  “Joe?”

  He jerked to his feet at the sound of Dr. Braden’s voice.

  “She’s asleep but you can sit with her whenever you’re ready.”

  “She’s okay?” He was already at the door.

  “Yes.” She glanced at the group of people she’d never met. “She’s going to be just fine.”

  He almost sank to the floor. Thank you, God.

  “And the babies?”

  “I’ll let you see for yourself, if you’d like to come now.”

  With a last glance at the members of his family, all of whom were smiling and nodding at him to go, he headed down the hall with the doctor.

  THE NEONATAL UNIT was in another wing, but on the same floor. Still wearing scrubs, minus the cap, Joe prepared himself for whatever he might find at this short journey’s end.

  Dr. Braden stopped at a big window in front of the two criblike affairs he’d seen in the delivery room more than an hour before. Except now they held four of the tiniest bodies he’d ever seen.

  “Do all those tubes and things hurt?”

  The doctor shook her head, and all Joe could do after that was stare as something settled deep inside of him.

  They were breathing. All four of them.

  They all had ten fingers and ten toes….

  “Grace has her arm.”

  “Yes, she does.”

  The doctor was a busy woman, but she didn’t seem any more inclined to leave their vigil than Joe did.

  He looked for the missing cheekbone.

  “Which one is she?”

  “Baby D, over there.”

  The one with the most perfect, round little baby face he’d ever seen.

  “So she’s fine.”

  “As far as we can tell right now, they all are.” The woman talked about scores and birth weights, heart rates and sucking skills. All Joe could see was the miraculous outcome of all of Elise’s hard work.

  His partner had really done it this time.

  THE FIRST THING Joe did when he entered Elise’s private room was go over and kiss her. Lightly.

  “Joe?” Her eyes opened.

  “Yeah.”

  “What happened? Where am I? Is it over?” Her voice rose with panic as she attempted to sit up.

  “Dr. Braden’s already been in and spoken with you, but she said you probably wouldn’t remember.”

  Her hands drifted down to her abdomen. “Where are they, Joe?” Tears filled her eyes. “Something happened to them, didn’t it?”

  “Shhh,” he said, just as he had hours before, wiping away her tears. “You need your eyes clear to see this.”

  He pulled out his cell phone, opened it and held it in front of her face, showing her the new background image as of fifteen minutes before.

  “That’s them? Those adorable little things are my babies?” She was crying again.

  “And you chided me for buying a camera phone.”

  “Oh, Joe.” She pulled the phone back. “They’re really mine?”

  “They really are. I read the tags, just to be sure. Baby A is right here, and with him is Baby B. Ellen is right there. And here’s Grace.”

  He heard the proud papa tone in his voice and didn’t care. He was, after all, the children’s honorary uncle.

  “She has two arms.”

  “And a gorgeous little face, wouldn’t you say? Just like her mama.”

  Elise released a sob. And then winced.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “I think I just pulled my stitches.”

  “Should I call for someone?”

  “No.” She lay back and grabbed the phone again. “I just can’t laugh too much in the next day or two.”

  “WHEN CAN I SEE THEM? For real, I mean?” As exhausted as she was, as sore, Elise couldn’t stand to remain in the bed when her very own children were right down the hall.

  “In just a bit,” he assured her. “If we can’t get you into a wheelchair I’ve already received special permission from Dr. Braden to wheel your
bed down to the window. They’re working on the babies right now.”

  “Is something wrong?”

  “Nope. Just normal checks of things I didn’t even know they could check. As you saw, they’re all breathing on their own, and that apparently was the biggest hurdle. If all goes well we should be able to take them home in time for Christmas.”

  We? Her eyes met Joe’s, but she didn’t say anything. The day was too perfect to muddy it with reality.

  ON SUNDAY, two by two, Joe’s entire family and the employees of B&R PEO came by the hospital to wish Elise well, drop off gifts and take a peek at the babies. They were still in incubators, two in each to simulate the company they’d kept in the womb. The night before, as she’d lain in her bed outside the neonatal nursery unit watching her children sleep, Elise had cried far more than her babies had. Later that afternoon, after she rested, Elise was going to be wheeled into the room so she could touch them for the first time.

  When it was time, Joe pushed her chair down the hall to the nursery.

  “I haven’t held a baby since I was eleven.”

  “Well, you’re about to get lots of practice.” Joe’s cheerfulness from the day before hadn’t worn off a bit, even after all the sleep he’d lost, staying with her half the night.

  “Two can go in at a time.” She told him what Dr. Braden had said earlier when she’d stopped by on her rounds. “You want to come?”

  “I’ll watch from the window.”

  She’d expected that answer.

  “COME ON IN.” The nurse, Tanya, opened the door for them. “They’re expecting you.”

  Joe held the door. “You want to take her chair from here?”

  “You aren’t coming?” Tanya didn’t wait for Joe to answer. “Of course you are. There’re four little ones in there and four arms out here. I think that works out just about right.”

  Elise started to protest, then stopped when Joe pushed her through the door, following Tanya over to the twin incubating beds.

  “Who wants Baby D first?” Tanya asked.

  “I do.” Joe was faster than Elise. “But give two others to Elise first. I’ll watch.”