Discovery

by T M Roy

  They both had lives before they’d met and each could go back to it. Interests. Careers. His career could continue should he come with her, only on a vastly different scale. They would have the freedom to work side-by-side or apart and wherever they wanted, constrained only by the rules. No one in the Affiliated Races would turn to Kent and point and scream “Alien!” at him. No hiding. No running. He’d never fear being captured and subjected against his will to satisfy the scientific curiosity of physicians and scientists.

  Not from any individual in the Affiliated Races, anyway. But she couldn’t ask that of him, even if such a thing was allowed. Kent loved the Earth, he loved the land, the creatures, the plants upon it. She didn’t know if he’d be happy elsewhere.

  But for herself, if she stayed here, hidden, unable to have the freedom to explore and discover, even with Kent at her side, Povre knew part of her would wither and die.

  No matter how appealing and romantic the notion, they couldn’t survive on love alone. To take one or the other of them away from what fired and stimulated them on different levels would strain even the truest and deepest of real loves.

  Imagining the touch of his lips, her fingers went to her mouth. So gentle, yet so strong. Did she love him because he just happened to be there that night? Was it truly only three nights ago? It felt like a lifetime! Did she love him because he offered rescue and comfort?

  “No,” she said aloud. “It’s much more than that.” Another fear arose. Did he love her because he needed someone to assuage his pain over Lynn?

  “No,” she said again, still whispering. The feathery fern brushed her cheeks. “If he was looking for comfort, he has yet to take it. He has all but said aloud he would die before letting anything happen to me. I wouldn’t say that’s the response of a male transferring affections to the nearest desirable female. Now if he’d solely acted on his urges caring nothing for me or my safety…” Her body started to heat. Her entire being yearned for him. To share herself totally, to possess him completely, if only for just one time.

  “It cannot be,” she told the fern. “I have my own trouble to face when I return. Not only did I disobey orders, I broke the rules by not only making an accidental contact, but pursuing it. Disrupting the normal life cycles of the native inhabitants.”

  She would be banned from serving on any other landing party. Regulated to staying aboard the ship and cataloging what the survey parties brought back. And, once they returned to home space, it was very likely she’d be bounced off Exploration, permanently. Her only recourse would be to take a position in Research or one at the Higher Education Center.

  Her eyes unfocused as she thought about the future. For what she’d experienced with Kent, despite the penalty, it was worth it and she’d do it again. To feel what she felt with him. For what he made her feel. She would have that memory forever, even if they never performed the ultimate act. Was that the reason they both held back? Knowing that they could never be together in the future? So many times they’d come close. At least Povre felt they’d come close.

  Kent’s low voice startled her. She was so involved in her thoughts she didn’t sense or hear him return.

  “I said, what are you thinking so hard about?”

  Povre ran her hands down her arms to settle the chill that had displaced the heat she’d felt a few moments earlier. “You,” she admitted honestly.

  “Me?” He laughed, but it sounded strained. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his wonderful brown eyes.

  “That in a few hours, I’ll be gone. I’ve been trying to deal with how much I want you, Kent.” Povre turned, leaning her back on the planting bench and watching him.

  He groaned, a sound of deep pain and need, and closed the distance between them, almost crushing Povre in his arms. “Take me with you,” he said hoarsely.

  “I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to you. It would never be allowed.” His kisses burned across her face, her throat. Closing her eyes and her arms tightly, she let her head fall back.

  “What’s it like, Povre? Space? Traveling between the stars?”

  Boring, she nearly said. He looked so wistful, like a child yearning to touch a flame because of the flickering bright beauty of it. She hated to discourage him, to ruin the dream. To him, what she took for granted was as compelling, fascinating, and mysterious as his world was to her.

  “It’s vast, and empty, and cold,” she said, slowly, unwilling to lie. “Frightening to think only a fragile shell of ship’s hull keeps you from instant death. The travel isn’t the good part, Kent. We sleep most of the time. The best part is actually reaching something of interest to see. For me, it’s discovering living things on other worlds, and in the discovery, learning new things about myself and my own race. As beautiful as space can be, I prefer living things.”

  “Are you anxious to return home?”

  She leaned against him. “Home,” she echoed. “I live on an artificially constructed habitat orbiting my home planet. Nothing can live on the surface any more, not without protection. My home has artificial gravity. Artificial lighting. Plants that are cultivated. No weather. No wind, but for what ventilation systems move…”

  Her hands, flat on his back, moved up and down, feeling the hard planes of his muscles, the bones underneath.

  “Like the plants in this greenhouse we are,” Povre said to his shoulder. “Even those few who live on the surface, safe in semi-underground habitats.”

  “I know why you disobeyed orders, then,” he whispered. His hands slid down her back.

  “But it is my home, and there I’m free.” She stroked her fingers along the column of his neck, and slid off the elastic band confining his hair. She tangled her hands in his soft locks. “I never realized meeting you could make me feel more alive than I’ve ever been.”

  As if reading her mind, his lips captured hers, and she welcomed him gladly. Her clever fingers went to his shirt, slipping beneath it, reveling in the crisp texture of his chest hair, finding his hard little nipples, making him groan in desire and deepen the kiss.

  And the last of the barriers of race and culture and what was right or wrong for Exploration teams to do went down between them. Lips kissed and tongues tasted and tangled; hands went everywhere, exploring not with the semi-detached wonder of scientists, but with the mindless fervor of lovers. When Kent stopped, Povre cried out in protest. Rather than pulling away, however, Kent just lifted her to sit on the planting bench before him. Somehow, in the action, her loose sweatpants drifted to the greenhouse floor, her shirt wafted off over her head, and his clothing disappeared, as if by magic, or as if sheer desire gave them the kinetic ability of a Folonar adept.

  “I love you,” Kent said hoarsely, drifting kisses down her throat. “You’re so beautiful. So soft. You taste so good.”

  When he went lower still and she felt his mouth on her breast, Povre’s eyes went wide. Her mouth opened and closed, words forgotten in the sweet sensations he created. His words of admiration and praise, his pleasure with her body, aroused her as much as his touches. Her body trembled, her back arched, and her hands tangled in his long hair, urging him closer. “Kent, I want you.”

  “Povre,” he groaned, “we can’t, I don’t have any protection, what if you get pregnant…?”

  “I don’t think that’s biologically possible,” she whispered. “Please don’t stop.”

  “Am I doing this right for you? Do your people—?”

  Her throat tightened. He was so caring, wanting to make it right…

  “I don’t know,” she said, her finger tracing the intriguing ridges and folds of one of his oval shaped ears.

  He stopped, panting, straightening to look into her eyes. His burned with desire as well as amazement. “You don’t know?”

  “I’ve never done this before,” she confessed. “I was hoping I was doing it right for you.

  “On my world, this would never go this far unless it was meant to be. The coupling cannot be accomplished unless the feelings
were right between two people. It is right between us, and I want to give to you. I want to give you pleasure. Please. Let’s belong to each other if only for now.”

  “You’re…a-a virgin?” He jerked back, trying to see her more fully. “I can’t do this! On my world the first time should be something—”

  He dropped his head to her shoulder for a moment and she felt him shudder against her. “Povre,” he whispered to her shoulder.

  “Is it right for you? Don’t you want me?”

  “For someone who hasn’t done this before,” he managed, kissing her again. “You’re doing just fine.”

  Povre nearly jumped off the table a few seconds later. Her surprised cry was stifled under his lips.

  “Did I hurt you?”

  “No,” she whispered, turning her awareness inward to the new sensations building inside her. There was only a slight pain. Even now her body was stretching to accommodate him. Her breathing caught and staggered.

  Something else, she needed something else. She moved her hips instinctively and begged him for direction. Her legs rose and wrapped around him as he held her, his fingers digging into her backside. And he began to move. She gasped.

  “Should I stop…” His words were more groan than speech.

  “No, no. Please, Kent.” She felt dizzy, anxious, breathing fast. “I want you.”

  “I’m here. Stay with me,” he murmured.

  Kent waited until she relaxed. It wasn’t so tight then. She was very much aware of that the electric humming of her body added to the pleasure he felt. And right below that, somewhere, was his surprise. She smiled. No, we’re connected now, grounded together, there will no shocks. Maybe it wasn’t the way he thought it should be, but to her, it was perfect. Then she stopped thinking.

  She murmured his name repeatedly and said in English and her own language she loved him as the sensations in her body grew and grew until she thought she would explode from joy.

  “Povresle,” she heard him say. She’d never hear her name spoken again without hearing the naked longing and love making Kent’s utterance so wonderful, so fulfilling.

  “Kent,” she whispered, opening her eyes wide so he would be the last thing she saw as the universe exploded.

  She wasn’t dead. Nor reduced to subatomic particles. And Kent, he also lived. How was that possible? How can anyone contain so much feeling and emotion and survive?

  Panting, she lay close to his chest and listened to his heartbeat. For a moment she smiled, a slow sleepy smile of satisfaction. Understanding at last one of the mysteries that made a joining between a male and female so much more than a biological process. Oh, Goddess, she thought. Thank you.

  She would remember him forever. For her there would never be anyone else. She could only hope he would forget and be able to find happiness with a human female. Her eyes burned, her throat closed with the sobs trying to escape.

  “Did I hurt you? What’s wrong?” Tenderly he smoothed her hair. His face was flushed. His eyes were gentle, peaceful, and Povre drank it in.

  “You didn’t hurt me. You gave me pleasure and joy.” She traced his mouth with her finger and then kissed him softly. “Thank you.”

  He swallowed. His jaw tightened. He said nothing, just crushed her to his chest and held her tight as if he’d never let her go.

  “Benjamin is coming,” she whispered a few minutes later, and they disentangled themselves and got dressed, helping each other, managing to do a lot of extra touching in between.

  “Take me with you,” he said again.

  “Your life is here.”

  “It won’t mean anything without you in it, Povresle.”

  She pulled his face close and planted a long, gentle kiss on his lips, a sweet kiss. “Please let me go. Let me be a dream. But don’t let me stop you from living and finding happiness.”

  He shook his head, and his eyes became shiny and wet the way they did when he was highly amused. Only this time, she felt no amusement from him. Only a deep sadness, a gut-wrenching gulf of loneliness, strong and sudden and then fading as he struggled to bring his emotion under control.

  “I found what I wanted in life three nights ago, when I found you caught in the rocks. Is there someone else? Someone waiting for you at home, on your ship?”

  “No one.”

  “Then take me.”

  “If you disappear, what then? It only adds to the negative aspects of your world ever making a proper contact.”

  “I don’t care if Earth ever makes a contact. I love you.”

  “I love you, too. But I don’t want you to die.”

  “Die? What are you talking about? Why would I die?”

  “Being away from your world might kill you as surely as staying here would kill me. Then we would be alone again. Knowing we both are living and thinking of one another now and then, isn’t that better?”

  “No,” he said roughly.

  “Kent, do you think this is any easier for me?” she cried.

  He smoothed her hair. “My mother always said truly loving someone is the most painful thing sometimes.”

  Povre remembered her father’s pain after her mother’s death. She had been all of ten years old at the time. During the long years, she’d done everything for him she could think of. But H’renzek still carried the pain, even now. Slowly he’d turned serious and gruff when he’d always been opposite, unless on a mission. And during those rare moments when they became father and daughter again, Povre could sense how much he loved her and dreaded the thought of anything ever happening to her. She could not bear imagining Kent burdened with such sorrow.

  She took Kent’s face in her hands and tried to smooth the creases of concern and pain aging his handsome features, which made him look as old as her father. Humans weren’t like Sirgels. They could find someone else. Kent found her after Lynn left him, after all…surely after she was gone, another woman would find her way to his heart. A human female would be a fool if she didn’t find Kent worthy of her devotion and love.

  “Everything will be all right,” she murmured, cradling his head against her breast and still finger-combing his long hair.

  The sequence of light knocks on the greenhouse door broke them apart. It was Ben. Povre gave Kent a little push when he didn’t respond right away. He straightened and went to unlock the door. Povre took one last look around, not wanting to forget a single detail. Then she followed.

  KENT HURRIED WITH POVRE AND Ben through a fine drizzle across the quad and headed to the parking area. Dusk lay thick as the mist. Kent could see the gleam of the light atop Skinner’s Butte through the lowering clouds, and a flash of lightning made the pressing dark bank of clouds, promising heavy rain, more evident.

  The weather matched the heavy feeling in Kent’s soul. To his right, Povre stumbled. She probably had her eyes closed against the rain. Her dislike of getting wet reminded him painfully of the incident in the motel. Jeez. He might have killed her throwing her in the shower like that.

  And the fact she admitted she lived on an artificially constructed satellite orbiting her homeworld. No, weather was something Povre had never experienced before coming to Earth. And for all but three months of the year, it rained a lot in this part of Oregon.

  She’s right, he tried to tell himself. It’s for the best.

  Two dark shapes bolted from the shadows—four-legged shapes, growling. They barreled past Kent and knocked him to the ground. He lost Povre’s hand and heard her scream. His head scraped against the concrete retaining wall behind him as he went down.

  Kent struggled for consciousness, aware of men around them. Where was Ben? The subtle mental presence he’d felt since meeting Goldberg was gone. Had he led them into a trap?

  “Povre!” He struggled to rise and heard her scream again, but someone held him down.

  “Get it! Quick!” he heard a man’s voice say in a powerful low tone that carried without shouting.

  “Let her go!” Kent raged with anger and fear slamming
through his body. He shoved the man holding him down aside violently. Two more dove on him. “Povre!”

  “Kent!” he heard her sob.

  Where was Ben? Kent twisted around, trying to break the strong grips holding him. Where the hell did he go? The dark shape he glimpsed nearby, slumped on the walk, answered that.

  A fist-sized object moving at speed to an unerring impact with Kent’s solar plexus kept him from trying anything else for several critical moments.

  * * * * *

  HER ARMS PROTECTING HER head, Povre huddled on the wet ground. The beasts stood growling over her. She felt a long hot mark on her arm oozing blood where one of the animals, in the attempt to bring her down, closed his teeth on the material of her jacket. She tried to reach inside the minds of the animals, but they didn’t respond. They had no wild instinct, no natural curiosity.

  Kent was hurt. She knew that. Their physical union had created an even closer empathic bond between them, and she cursed her hindsight.

  She heard the animals whine and snuffle over her and the heavy tread of human feet. She lunged for freedom but something cracked into her skull. Not hard enough to do any damage, but hard enough to render her dazed and powerless. Heavy material fell with a fl-shuuuush! over her body. A hard shove knocked her sideways and the heavy stuff closed, suffocating; imprisoning Povre in entangling folds.

  She struggled as she felt herself lifted and carried. The material proved too tight, too close, and bound her freedom of movement. As frightened as she was, Povre thought that moment of nothing more than a kinship with a vegetarian burrito.

  * * * * *

  KENT FOUND HIMSELF ALONE on the wet paving. Followed by a van and two other cars, a panel truck raced from the parking area. “You bastards! No! Povre!” he shouted. “Damn it! No!”

  “Damn,” Ben said, pulling Kent’s attention toward him. The younger man pushed himself up. He held one hand to his temple and in the wet gleam of light from the parking lot and buildings, Kent saw red blood smeared over his face. “Damn it. Someone let the Feds get by. I didn’t think they’d have dogs.”