Duke Of Deception (Wentworth Trilogy)

by Stephie Smith

  That wasn’t the only reason he didn’t want to tell her yet. The other reason was one he was loath to admit, even to himself, because it was completely selfish. The truth was, if he confessed his deception to her now, what little headway he might have gained from her conversation with Jimmy would not only disappear, but so would any chance of her forgiveness, and God knew he wanted her forgiveness, even if he didn’t deserve it.

  And he didn’t deserve it.

  She’d miscarried his child, a child that should never have been conceived, a child that wouldn’t have been conceived if he had treated Lucy with the respect she deserved, and the midwife said she’d taken it very hard. He hated to know of her suffering, but he deserved to know of it, to feel each stab at his conscience.

  Kirkpatrick, too, had filled him in before leaving for Dorrington, and his report had not been good. Following the miscarriage, Lucy had gone into a deep decline. Her health suffered, she lost her spirit, and it wasn’t until Lady Foxworth’s visit that she began to rally. Derek was deeply grateful to Lady Foxworth for that, if somewhat surprised.

  There was no doubt that these months had been hard on Lucy, and Derek wished he could take back all the pain he caused. There was nothing he could do about it now except make it up to her.

  He watched her slip slowly into the water, lower and lower, until first her chin disappeared, then her nose, then her entire head. When she didn’t rise again within seconds, he moved quickly into the room to pull her out of the water, if need be, but as he reached the tub, her head broke the surface, waves of dark hair floating out around it. She reached out to her stool, where a dry washcloth lay. He handed it to her.

  “Bridget?”

  He took a deep breath. “It’s me.” He sat down on the stool, facing her. “I want to apologize for everything I’ve done to cause you pain or unhappiness. It was never my intention to hurt you in any way. I want you to know that.” He waited for any sign of rebuff, and it was only when he saw there wasn’t going to be any that he realized how very much he cared.

  Lucy blotted the water from her face and raised her eyes to meet his. Her eyes were dark, almost as dark as the tendrils of hair that were plastered to her shoulders and face, all of it making her appear small and forlorn.

  “I’m sorry too,” she whispered, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Sorry for not believing in you, for thinking the worst of you.”

  “Don’t,” he said, his voice rough. “You’ve nothing to apologize for.” He hated himself at that moment, knowing she blamed herself for everything that had happened between them when all the while, he was the one living a lie. He could only hope she would understand once she knew his motives and would forgive him for not telling the truth.

  He rolled up his sleeves, then took the washcloth from her. “You’re exhausted and deserve to be pampered, and I want to do the pampering.”

  She was quietly accepting as he moved behind her and piled the thick ropes of wet hair atop her head. He worked the lavender-scented soap through her hair, circling and rubbing, soothing away her tension. He massaged the nape of her neck and shoulders and the muscles between her shoulder blades. She was as limp as a sail without wind, allowing him to move her in any direction, and it was all he could do not to slip his arms around her and pull her up against him. But he wouldn’t do that. Tonight was for her, and so was tomorrow night and every other night for as long as need be. She deserved nothing less from him.

  He eased her back against the tub and moved to each side in turn, covering her arms with creamy lather from shoulder to fingertip, carefully massaging each area he touched. The water sloshed back and forth, but gently, and he watched, captivated, as soft, pink nipples crested the soapy water again and again. Without thinking, he slid his lathered hands over her breasts, kneading them gently, and when she rose to meet his touch, a surge of lust assailed him. The ache in his groin was almost painful from his stiffening arousal, but he would do nothing to relieve his discomfort.

  His soapy hands slid downward, stroking and rubbing the softness of her belly, and the urge to continue that downward path, to plunge his fingers into her until neither of them could breathe, almost overwhelmed him. He forced himself to stop. He couldn’t finish washing this part of her body now. Not now. My God, not now.

  He moved to the foot of the tub and captured a slender ankle with his hand. Gently, reverently, he massaged each lathered foot, using his thumbs to apply pressure, trying to turn his thoughts away from his longing for her. His hands moved upwards, caressing and massaging first one calf and then the other while Lucy lay with eyes closed, the slight reflexive movement of her muscles the only clue she was aware of his actions.

  A smooth white thigh broke the surface of the water, and his restraint almost dissolved at the thought of sliding his hands upward along the tender flesh of her inner thighs and urging them apart. He remembered the heady pleasure of his mouth on her, and closed his eyes against the memory. He heard a moan of desire, as if from far away. His moan. He had to stop.

  His fingers stilled on her thighs, but he couldn’t remove them. Not yet. His breathing ragged, he tried to think what to do, how to go on, how to control the desire that had taken over his body, his mind, his senses.

  “Please,” came a whisper from Lucy, and startled, he jerked his gaze to hers, looking into eyes that were beseeching, full of passion and desire. His heart thumped at the thought that she might want him as he wanted her.

  He didn’t speak, unable to form words; there were none to convey the enormity of his feelings. He longed for her, for every part of her, but if all she wanted from him was a physical release, he would give that to her as he had before.

  He moved his hands to the juncture of her thighs and brushed his fingers lightly over her most sensitive area. She gasped and shuddered and then moaned when he moved his hand away. He teased her, letting his fingertips skim along her thighs from knee to hip, closing his eyes as she relaxed her legs for him.

  His cock throbbed with every beat of his heart, and he tried to put the relentless pulsing out of his mind. His sleeves were soaked to the shoulders, and he quickly rose, unbuttoned his shirt, and took it off, then moved back to her side. He caressed the length of the inside of her thigh, sliding his fingers upward until they slipped into the crevice between her soft womanly lips, unable to stop himself from dipping into her. She moaned and arched against his hand.

  He knew what she needed and he wanted to give it to her, wanted that more than anything, and so he let his fingers begin a sensual assault, one that had barely begun when her hand closed over his, forcing him to stop. Disappointment and dismay coursed through him; she would not trust him even for this.

  “No,” Lucy whispered when he raised his eyes to meet hers. “I want you.”

  Her eyes were wet with tears. Not tears of recrimination, but of longing. A yearning he had never expected to see in their clear blue depths.

  Dear God, it was a yearning for him.

  Almost shaking with desire now, Derek lifted her to her feet, holding her as she swayed against him. With careful attention he poured pitchers of water over her body to wash away the soap and then wrapped her in a thick towel and lifted her from the bath and carried her to the bed. His eyes locked with hers and he told himself over and over that what he saw was a true longing to be with him as a wife wanted to be with a husband. But he couldn’t be sure unless she said so. He couldn’t take that chance. He couldn’t wrong her again.

  He laid her gently upon the bed, his eyes locked with hers. “Lucy…”

  When she reached for him, urging him to her, he closed his eyes, overwhelmed, overwhelmed by sheer joy and relief and something so much more precious.

  He quickly stripped off his trousers, watching Lucy all the while. This time there was no fear in her eyes, only wonder and desire, as she reached for him again. His entire body clenched at the intimate contact, and his cock sprang up, startling Lucy into a gasp. He laughed softly at her widened ey
es and fell into bed beside her, gathering her into his arms, the pent-up desire breaking loose as he captured her lips in a plundering kiss.

  Their hands sought each other’s bodies, their movements urgent as their kiss deepened. Derek tore his lips from hers, moving lower to nuzzle her ear, her neck, her breast, capturing a swollen nipple in his mouth and gently raking it with his teeth. His hands moved over her, stoking her fires. He dipped into her wetness, then slid his finger out, circling her sensitive bud again and again, forcing her closer to release, and she moaned and clutched at him, trying to pull him to her.

  He drew back and looked into Lucy’s desire-filled eyes. “I want to make sure you’re ready,” he said, his voice husky and strained. He slid a long finger into her, as deep as it would go, marveling at the way her muscles contracted around it. She was wet and ready, more than ready.

  He moved over her and held himself up on one arm as he positioned himself. She’d only had one sexual experience, an experience he wished she couldn’t remember. He wanted this experience to be one she would never forget.

  He gritted his teeth as he slid his sensitive tip between her slick, swollen lips, wondering how long he could last. He had dreamed about this for months, but even his fantasies hadn’t prepared him for the intensity of his desire. She writhed against him, reaching out for him, wanting more than he was giving, and then cried out in despair when he pushed into her only slightly before pulling back out. And then he did it again… and again… and again. Determined to please her, he closed his eyes and tried to banish his lustful thoughts while he used slow, shallow thrusts to ready her for his complete intrusion.

  Two times two is four, he thought. Four times four is sixteen. Sixteen times sixteen is… what the devil was sixteen times sixteen? He couldn’t think. His mind was a blank. He opened his eyes to gaze into Lucy’s, and her siren’s smile told him she’d waited long enough.

  Lucy stared into the warm gray depths of his eyes, seeing her own deep longing reflected back at her, and she pulled him to her, wanting more, needing more than he was giving. She committed to memory the fresh scent of soap mixed with cologne, the way his damp hair curled against his neck, how his breath caught each time she moved against him. She wished she could memorize everything about him, about this night, so she could have her memories forever. He would be gone in a few days, never to return, at least not for her. She hadn’t even learned why he’d married her, and now it didn’t matter. She would take what she could have of him and be thankful. She wrapped her legs around him, thrusting against him, and he surrendered, filling her completely as they began the most intimate rhythm of mankind.

  Entwined, they moved as one. With each deep thrust she felt Derek push against the mouth of her womb, and she cried out his name, rising up wildly to meet him, wanting to belong to him, to be branded by him in their lovers’ dance, knowing that this one time might be her only chance to love him completely. Within moments she spiraled into a floating ecstasy of earth-shattering sensation, feeling him thrust one last time as his own shuddering release forced his seed into her womb.

  And she wept.

  Chapter 31

  Derek watched Lucy as she lay sleeping, the gentle rise and fall of her chest, the incredibly long lashes that rested on her cheek, the long, silky hair that spilled across the sheets. She sighed and rolled toward him, and the sheet fell away, revealing her soft, luscious body. His cock swelled and he groaned.

  Unable to deny himself, he traced the curve of her breast. He brushed over her nipple, and when she shivered against his fingertips, he felt a powerful rush of lust that settled in his groin, adding to the already heavy ache of his stiffening arousal.

  Leaning in close, he licked the soft nipple, watching as it too stiffened. His mouth closed over it, and he sucked and nibbled, gently, at first, but then greedily as Lucy began to moan and rub her breasts against him. He nuzzled them, squeezing them together and flicking his tongue back and forth across their velvety tips, pausing only to draw one nipple into his mouth or to dip his tongue into the crevice between them.

  He slid his fingers into the soft, damp curls below and traced along the silken seam to check her readiness, finding the same wonderful, wet heat that always greeted him. Lucy moaned and moved against his hand, and he smiled.

  Rolling over onto his back, he pulled her with him, atop him, and drew up her knees so that she was straddling him. His cock leaped toward her, pushing against her, seeking her slick heat. He lifted her bottom and began to slide her up and down over his thick erection until they were both gasping.

  Fully awake now, Lucy positioned him, closing her eyes as she lowered herself, filling herself with him. She drew back and he groaned, and then thrust into her, holding her to him while he began a rhythm that she immediately took over. Within minutes her breaths turned into gasps as her orgasm began, an orgasm that seemed to go on and on as Derek continued to move against her, holding her tightly to him until he thrust deeply into her as his own climax exploded.

  It was moments before either was able to speak. Finally, Derek said, “If we don’t get out of bed now, we never will. What do you think? Shall we just stay here all day? We could send for food.”

  Lucy covered her face and rolled away from him. “Absolutely not! I’d die of embarrassment if people thought…”

  “You mean if people knew.” He grinned at her mortification and ran his finger lightly along the curve of her hip. Her hair was like rumpled silk against the sheets, and he resisted the temptation to slip his hands into it, knowing that if he did, passion would strike again.

  He would never get enough of her. She’d been an innocent, and yet she made love to him with a complete lack of restraint, eagerly returning in kind everything he initiated, and through her wonderment and unabashed enjoyment, he’d found a new zest for lovemaking, an eagerness that came more from the giving of pleasure than from the taking.

  But it wasn’t just the sex. He delighted in every aspect of her company, so much so, he hadn’t been able to tear himself away to visit Stephen. Each morning he planned to go, but he always found a reason to stay at Stonecrest with Lucy.

  Now it had been a week, and his lack of responsibility toward Stephen made him feel guilty, but not, evidently, guilty enough to make the trip. It was ridiculous. London was but a two-hour ride; he’d be back before nightfall. Yet the fact remained that he didn’t want to be away from her, and he was surprised by that admission.

  He thought of the women he’d known intimately. For the most part, he hadn’t bothered to learn anything about them. He’d gotten to know a few of them better, his fiancée Pamela included in those, but he couldn’t remember ever wondering what Pamela was thinking. He’d never discussed anything important with her, never asked for her opinion. He was ashamed to admit to himself that he’d seen her as little more than his possession, to be enjoyed when he felt like it or taken out and shown off.

  With Lucy he was different. He wanted to know everything she thought, everything she felt. And he didn’t want to leave her at Stonecrest while he went to London.

  If only she would go with him… but he could never ask that of her. She’d no doubt be dismissed by even the lowliest member of London society, and he didn’t want to see her shamed.

  There was only one thing to do. He would send a note off to Stephen asking him to come to Stonecrest. When their business concluded, he would tell Lucy the truth about the masquerade and his identity, and he could only hope she cared enough about their future together to forgive him his deception.

  There was one small deception he needed to clear up right now, though, if only because he couldn’t trust Chelton to keep his mouth shut about the business, and he didn’t want Lucy to find out from anyone but him.

  He snuggled up to her and nuzzled her ear. “You haven’t fallen back asleep, have you?” he murmured, giving in to the temptation to continue a trail of kisses along her slender neck.

  She rolled to face him, her eyes lit up by
her soft smile. “Why? Did you have other plans?” Her hand drifted to his chest, and she lazily traced downward. When her hand dipped below his waist, he groaned and captured it, placing it back on his chest. Eyes lowered, she began again.

  “Oh, no, you don’t,” he teased. “It’s not that I wouldn’t love to, but I have something important to tell you.”

  Lucy’s fingers stilled at his words. This is it. He’s going to tell me he’s leaving for America… and what if he doesn’t ask me to go with him?

  Her thought shocked her. She’d never actually considered going to America with him, at least not until this very moment, but she suddenly knew she would go if he asked her, and she marveled at the way her feelings for him could change in one short week. It would be painful to leave England and Stonecrest, but it would be unbearable to remain behind without him.

  “Go ahead,” she said, struggling to maintain an even tone.

  He gathered her in his arms and said nothing for a long moment, obviously looking for a way to begin. Then he said, “I’m sure you can understand that privateering trips aren’t always profitable. They can be quite the opposite if your holds aren’t filled with cargo.” She felt his glance, but she didn’t lift her head from his chest, wanting to be able to hide her expression if she needed to.

  “As I was preparing to sail, one of my customers backed out, leaving me with a large space to fill. As it happened, I’d already been contacted by someone looking for space. I hadn’t planned to take his cargo, but when I could find no one else, I agreed to accommodate him.”