Blood Heavy (Blood Heavy Series)

by S. L. J. Shortt

  “One day”, Jerry thought, “you’re just a normal kid, and the next, you’re the prize in some vampire civil-war that you never even knew existed.” He was too shocked to freak out at this point, but it was definitely in the mail. This was craziest thing that he’d ever heard, but apparently it really was happening.

  “We can protect you and everyone close to you, but you have to do as we say. If we can find a cure we’ll be pumping it up their asses as well, and you’ll never have to worry about them again,” Claire said. “It’s still going to be dangerous though. There aren’t many vampires we can trust...even on our side. Your blood might be just too tempting for them. Like I said; your scent is strong, even now, but the smell of your blood itself is a lot stronger. That’s how they found you. You cut your hand, and they picked up on the scent from two-hundred yards away and came charging straight after you.”

  “I remember.”

  “They had no idea you were there until then. Cassandra, the woman who saved you, she was being followed by them and was leading them away from you when you came running out of that house with a bloody hand.”

  Something popped into Jerry’s head as she told them what had happened. “You said I sounded ‘like her’ earlier...what was that about?”

  “Yeah...that’s...It’s rare but it does happen. When a vampire drinks from a human, sometimes they get a little more than just their blood. You get a sort of…echo of them...their feelings and subconscious memories. A vampire will find themselves drawn to a place they’ve never been, or suddenly experiencing a craving for pumpkin pie, when usually they hate it. That sort of thing. Now, what’s really rare, is that this can happen to the human as well. A sort of feedback loop, the human gets a bit of the vampire...like their attitude.”

  “Wait a moment, I just experienced something like that...when we were leaving the hospital, I saw a guy having a smoke and I...wanted one. I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life, never wanted to, but right then I did!”

  “Makes sense, Cassandra smokes like Baghdad on a bad day,” Claire nodded. “I think your blood properties must make you more susceptible to the phenomenon. Don’t worry, it wears off.”

  “Good, because if you touch a cigarette, I’ll shove it up your ass!” Joe warned.

  “We’re sitting here talking to a vampire, and you’re giving him a lecture on healthy living?” Goose said, spelling out Jerry’s thoughts exactly. “Dude, priorities.”

  Claire giggled. “Like I said, it wears off.”

  “That attitude won’t though, he’s always been like that,” Joe remarked.

  “I meant, the hating me part,” the vampire smiled. “Cassandra and I had a falling out a long time ago and she’s never really gotten over it.”

  That news made sense too. When Claire had spoken to him in the hospital, he’d had the urge to attack her, when he should have been cowering in fear.

  “What happened?” Goose asked.

  “Family dispute.”

  “Huh?”

  “She’s my sister,” Claire replied.

  “Oh, I see the resemblance...” Goose nodded, remembering Cassandra.

  “So,” Claire said, changing the subject. “We won’t force you to help us...it’s your choice.”

  “You mean, either I become a vampire’s happy meal, or a vampire’s lab experiment? That isn’t much of a choice,” Jerry groused, “But if that part about protecting us is true, I guess I’m going with you guys.”

  Claire breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t get all weepy, I also kind of like the idea of a world without vampires.”

  “So do I,” she smiled.

  “Okay, so what now?”

  “Now you go and dunk yourself in the strongest aftershave you have.”

  “What?” Jerry asked in confusion.

  “Err...I’m stuck here until the sun goes down and your smell is very distracting,” she said awkwardly.

  “Don’t tell me you’re getting the urge to bite me right now!” Jerry replied cautiously, readying the stake.

  “Actually, it’s acting more as a sort of...aphrodisiac,” said Claire, wincing, clearly embarrassed.

  “Oh, whoa, no! No way!” Jerry said, backing away. “No offense honey, you’re smoking hot...literally,” he couldn’t resist punning her little flame-out that had happened earlier. She didn’t laugh. “But I draw the line at necrophilia!”

  “I’m not dead, you idiot! I’m...undead...”

  “Okay, well I don’t do diet-necrophilia either, so I’ll go find some Old Spice,” Jerry walked off into the back of the house, feeling a little flustered.

  “I wouldn’t mind...you know...” Goose said in all seriousness, before spotting the warning looks on Claire and Joe’s faces. “Never mind...” he shuffled off, following Jerry out back and looking very uncomfortable.

  CHAPTER 6 – Q&A

  Joe’s House – St. Cloud

  The sun was still shining outside, but the house was dark as all the windows were covered.

  Joe had decided to take the day off work and hadn’t really taken his eyes off Claire for the whole day. His feeling were still on the fence and was watching her like a hawk. He got the distinct impression that she knew he was doing this, and that she was simply letting him, as further proof that she wasn’t the enemy.

  Sunset was still two hours away and Jerry and Goose had been keeping their distance for the most part. They had been on the phone all day explaining what was going on to Steve. All three of them were still wired to the hilt.

  Joe was in the kitchen, looking for a bottle of scotch in the cabinet. He didn’t usually drink this early but on a day like today, it seemed only natural.

  “Can I impose and trouble you for one of those?” Claire asked, leaning against the frame of the kitchen door.

  “I thought vampires only drank blood?”.

  “We can eat and drink anything that you can; it just has no nutritional value. No such thing as ‘five-a-day’ for vampires. On the bright side, we don’t have to worry about cholesterol. But blood’s the only thing that sustains us, and besides, I think I’d go insane if I couldn’t get a cheeseburger or have a good scotch when I needed it,” she smiled.

  “Okay,” Joe shrugged and poured a second glass.

  “Thanks,” Claire said, holding up her glass for a toast, but he didn’t raise his.

  “You serious about protecting my nephew?” he asked flat out.

  “As cancer...for you.”

  “Well then, I’ll drink to that,” Joe said, and clinked glasses with her.

  “I’ve got to say, most people aren’t as calm about this stuff as you’re acting. I’m impressed,” Claire said.

  “Spend a couple years getting shot at and watching people get blown up by road side bombs and you don’t shock easy. This is pushing it though.”

  “You served?”

  “Desert Storm, Baghdad, Fallujah,” he nodded.

  “Damn...heard that place was hell,” she said, raising her eyebrows.

  “Well, it’ll do until Hell gets here,” Joe replied, and took a gulp of whiskey.

  “True,” she sipped her drink. “I was in Poland when the Nazi’s invaded. Wrong place, wrong time...even vampires got the hell out of the way of that war.”

  “World War II? That was over seventy years ago.”

  “Yep.”

  “So, what are you, like a hundred years old?” he asked looking a bit surprised.

  “Was.”

  “Hundred and fifty?”

  “Keep going,” she said.

  “Two-hundred?”

  She shook her head.

  “Three-hundred?!” he couldn’t believe it.

  “Getting warmer.”

  “Four-hundred?!”

  “Four-hundred and eleven,” Claire said. “I was born in 1601, turned in 1628. I look good for my age, don’t I?”

  “Definitely,” Joe said, before downing the rest of his drink. He was amazed.


  “A girl never gets tired of hearing that,” she grinned, looking into his eyes.

  Was she flirting with him? He was so out of practice with the opposite sex that he really couldn’t tell, but she seemed to be looking at him pretty intensely. He didn’t know how to react and turned away, feeling a slight flush in his cheeks. He poured himself another glass and sipped at it.

  “Christ! I smell like a freakin’ perfume counter!” Jerry moaned, shaking his shirt as he walked into the kitchen flanked by Goose. Claire immediately turned away from Joe as Jerry moved past her. “I’ll take one of those,” he said, eying the bottle.

  Joe didn’t answer; he just shot him a look that said ‘No.’

  “Oh, come on! I think I’ve earned it!” Jerry whined and pointed at the large bandage on his neck.

  Joe hesitated for a moment before pouring him a glass and giving it to him. He knew Jerry drank, all teenagers did these days, and it was true that he was under a lot of stress at the moment. He’d let it slide.

  “I spoke to Steve, he’s freaking out, obviously...I don’t think he’s ready to meet you yet,” Jerry said, nodding at Claire. “But he may have...let this stuff slip to Sarah, his girlfriend.”

  Claire rolled her eyes and looked away. This was getting annoying.

  “Daniel, it’s important that as few people as possible know about this, about you!” she groaned. “Knowing about it puts them in danger!”

  “Steve was there when those Black Forest guys jumped us and Sarah probably hounded him non-stop until he told her. What can I say; the guy’s whipped! All she has to do is threaten him with no more sex and he folds like an accordion.”

  “Yeah, that’s how she got him to meet her parents,” Goose agreed. “Do I get a drink? I’m in this too you know.”

  Joe wasn’t anal enough to ignore Goose. He gave him a drink.

  “Pfft! Teenagers!” Claire growled to herself.

  “Oh come on, what are you, like twenty-seven?” Jerry snapped back.

  “Physically,” she nodded.

  “Four-hundred and eleven in spooky years,” Joe said, still sounding surprised.

  “What?!”

  “Are you drinking whiskey?” Goose asked, spotting the glass.

  “Am I going to have to call a press conference every time you guys have a question?” she returned, clearly getting annoyed.

  “No, you’re just going to give us straight answers, or I walk!” Jerry snorted, got a whiff of the amount of aftershave he’d poured on himself and winced.

  He didn’t need the threats. She’d fold on just about anything to keep him around. Claire was desperate.

  “Yes, I’m four-hundred years old, and yes, I can drink whiskey!” she said very quickly. “I’m sorry there are no supernatural tour guides. I’m doing the best I can.”

  “Well, why don’t you start by telling me the next move,” Jerry answered.

  “When the sun goes down, I take you to meet the boss,” Claire said.

  “The Mustang?” Jerry asked, looking excited.

  “Her boss, genius,” Joe rolled his eyes.

  That was a buzz kill.

  “Sophinia. The one I was telling you about. She’ll know what to do,” Claire said with conviction.

  “Okay, but since the sun is still shining, why don’t you fill the space by explaining vampires some more? Don’t leave out the parts where you tell us the best ways to kill them either,” Joe said. He wanted a way to defend his nephew in case Claire went back on her word.

  She actually looked a little wounded by his question.

  “Stakes, silver, decapitation, fire and sunlight. Those are our weaknesses. Beyond the obvious stuff, like being hit with a rocket launcher or super powered magic, we can survive pretty much everything else. A bullet to the head will put us down for a spell, but we’ll heal from it afterwards. It has to be wood that penetrates the heart. Shoving a white picket fence through our chests won’t do the job because it’ll be the paint that hits us, not the wood. You get the same problem with varnished furniture. Occasionally, the broken ribs will scrape the stuff off and we’ll die, but that’s down to chance. “Now you know everything there is to know about killing us, but don’t forget; we are about twenty times faster and stronger than you, so don’t expect it to be easy.”

  “Okay, thanks for the heads up, but what about all the legends. Which ones are real and which aren’t?” Goose asked.

  “We don’t turn into bats, or mist, or wolves, we can’t read minds and we can’t make people do stuff by looking at them really intently. I don’t know where that one came from...maybe Anne Rice,” she shrugged. “There’s a lot of bullshit to sift through.”

  “What about garlic?”

  “Gives me bad breath.”

  “Crosses?”

  “I prefer triangles...” They looked at her like she was crazy. It irritated her. “It’s just a shape Einsteins! It was around long before us and we were around long before a carpenter got nailed to one. It didn’t hurt us before he came along, it doesn’t hurt now.”

  “Holy water?”

  “Works on some creatures, but a bunch of words won’t do the trick. It has to be a man of devout faith that blesses it, and even then, it doesn’t work on us. As freaky as we are, we used to be human, and part of us still is. The religious stuff is a no go on vampires. But Holy water is like Napalm to some stuff out there.”

  “Coffins?”

  “No way, I spread eagle when I sleep,” she said, causing them all to raise their eyebrows. “What? I also like yoga!”

  “I can tell,” Goose said, and followed up with a wink.

  She wasn’t amused. He shrank.

  “Okay, so, what you’re saying is -”

  “We’re just an unexplained phenomenon. Science, magic, throw them in a blender and add fangs. We don’t know why wood and silver hurt us so much. We don’t know why UV is like acid to us. We are abnormal, but we are not creatures that go completely against nature. Certain diseases cause people to develop sensitivity to the sun, blood clots require constant transfusions, ancient peoples believed that silver was a purifying metal, different woods have always been seen as special, and let’s face it, being burnt and having your head cut off will kill just about everything. We are different...diseased...but we aren’t as outlandish as you believe.”

  “You’re vampires,” said Jerry cynically.

  “And we’re not as far from humans as you might think.”

  “Yeah, then explain not having a freakin’ pulse, Elvira!” he sent back. “How do you even have blood pumping through you right now? How are you even able to talk to us, why aren’t you in the ground?”

  “We’re restless?” she shrugged.

  “What?”

  “Look, I’d be lying through my fangs if I told you I had all the answers. The truth is that there is still a lot of stuff that we don’t know about ourselves. The things I’ve told you are the hard facts and fact number one is: we need blood.”

  “What happens if you don’t get it?”

  “We get really, really stiff,” Claire replied sarcastically.

  This time it was Jerry who wasn’t impressed. “You know what I’m talking about: how often does a vampire need to feed?”

  “I fill the tank about once every three days. Pig, cattle, horse, whatever comes through the mail,” Claire said, not sounding the slightest bit ashamed. She wasn’t feeding on humans and that’s what mattered to her.

  “Sophinia owns about thirty farms. They don’t even kill the livestock anymore, they simply take a pint or two from each animal, then give them extra food and milk to get them healthy again. It’s more efficient that way. PETA would be proud. We only need about five pints to keep us going anyway.”

  “And what happens if you don’t get that?” Jerry asked.

  That question caused Claire to down the rest of her drink and hand her glass back to Joe for a refill. “It’s not pretty...”

  Joe topped the glass up again, a
nd waited with the others for an answer. Claire took another gulp before speaking.

  “If we can’t get blood...if we starve, well...for the first five days we’re fine. At the seventh day we’re desperate, at the tenth, we’re climbing the walls like a heroine junkie, and by number fifteen we can’t move anymore and we start to decompose.”