I Go Where You Go

by Jaelyn Hardin

  “Are you okay?” I went to her slowly, standing by the sink.

  She nodded. “Yeah, just morning sickness.” She took a paper towel and wiped off her mouth. “I don’t know why they call it that. Morning sickness. It’s not just the morning, it’s literally all day.”

  I tried to laugh, but it didn’t feel genuine. “Yeah, I heard that.” We stood in silence for a moment, unsure of where to go from there.

  “I haven’t told him yet…if you were wondering.”

  “Have you told anyone?”

  She shook her head no. “He will be the next person I tell, I just haven’t…yet.”

  “Good luck.”

  “Thanks,” she smiled. “And thank you, by the way, for not saying anything.”

  “It’s not my secret to tell.”

  “Still, thank you.”

  “Oh my god, what is taking you so long?”

  Ashleigh came through the bathroom doors yelling and looking for Madison. She didn’t expect to see me.

  “Well look who it is,” Ashleigh smiled evilly, crossing her arms over her chest. “Long time no see, 3B.”

  I rolled my eyes, already irritated by the situation. “Always a pleasure, Ashleigh.”

  “How have you been?” She shouted with fake excitement. “Besides getting fatter.”

  “Still a bitch I see. Glad to see things haven’t changed.” I tried to turn my attention back to Madison, but Ashleigh wouldn’t let me.

  “Coming from the girl who only has two friends.”

  “Quality over quantity.” I nodded to Madison before making my exit. “I’ll see you later.”

  “Bye, Becka.”

  I came out of the bathroom and found Matt pacing back and forth, his hands thrust firmly in his pockets.

  “Hey, you okay?” I asked, the crease fully activated on my forehead.

  His eyes met mine and he rushed to me. “I was waiting for you and I saw Ashleigh go in. I was about five seconds away from going in there.”

  I shook with laughter. “What were you going to do? Go in there and fight her?”

  “Hey! Don’t make fun of me! I was just trying to protect you.”

  I held his hand in mine tightly. “I know, you are my big strong man. Let’s go back to your house so you can show me how strong you are.”

  Morning came and the birthday boy was still fast asleep. We were up half the night talking, wrestling, and laughing. It was a blast and the reason Matt was still dead to the world.

  I carefully extracted myself from the bed and threw on Matt’s sweater, heading outside to my car to retrieve his presents. I wasn’t sure when he wanted to open them, but I just wanted to see the look on his face when he realized there were presents to be had.

  I put the gifts on his nightstand before carefully climbing back in the bed, trying my hardest not to wake him until it was just the right moment. Matt slept on his back, one arm lying across his chest and the other reaching for my spot. I straddled his sleeping body, leaning in close and lightly kissing his jawline. When he didn’t move, I continued peppering kisses down his neck and onto his chest. When I reached the dip in his pecs, his body flinched slightly. I knew he was waking up.

  “Matt,” I sang softly as I continued kissing every inch of his skin. “Matt.”

  “I don’t know what’s happening, but I like it.” His voice was so raspy and harsh, I loved it. I kissed slowly up his stomach and back to his chest, deepening my lips when I made it to his neck. That woke him up. His hands began to roam my thighs and pull at my skin.

  “Happy birthday, baby.”

  His grin was my favorite yet. His eyes remained closed, but his expression was complete bliss.

  “Best birthday ever.”

  He wrapped his arms around me and rolled me onto the bed. I laughed loudly as I crashed onto the pillows. His eyes finally opened and met mine, filling me up with so much love.

  “Happy birthday.”

  “Thank you.” He kissed me slowly, like he was taking it all in. “I love that your voice is the first thing I hear in the morning.”

  “I’m going to talk all the time now. You’ll be begging me to shut up.”

  “Hilarious. What time is it?” He turned to find his phone on the nightstand but instead found his presents. “Holy shit. Did you do all this?”

  “It’s your birthday. Of course, I did.”

  “You didn’t have to get me anything. I told you what I wanted for my birthday.”

  “You told me last week what you wanted. I got those weeks ago.”

  His smile widened. “You’re crazy. But I love you.”

  “I love you too. I wasn’t just not going to get you something.”

  “I thought you staying the night with me was my present.”

  “Seriously?” I rolled my eyes. “I think I can do better than that.”

  Matt scooched closer to me, resting his chest against mine and holding me tight. “But what if that’s all I need?” He slid his hands up the back of my shirt and traced his fingers on my skin. “Because that’s it. That’s all I need. Just me and you in a bed every night and every morning.”

  “Really?” I still couldn’t believe how much he loved me.

  “I know it’s far away, but I love the idea of you and me being able to stay together every night because the bed is ours, not just yours or mine.”

  “Aren’t I the one that is supposed to be sweet to you? It’s your birthday.” My body shook with his as he laughed.

  “You can try, but I will always be more magical than you.”

  “Needier too.”

  “Jokes for my birthday?” Matt tickled me aggressively and left me laughing until I was crying. “Now that’s what I really wanted.”

  “Okay, okay, you win!” I said through my tears. “You win, you win!”

  “Best birthday ever.”

  Once teeth were brushed and clothes were put on, we decided to go wake up Dani. She was still fast asleep, her dreads spread out on her pillows. Without making a sound, Matt and I stood on the end of Dani’s bed and counted down silently. On three we started jumping, bouncing Dani up and down.

  “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

  Once her eyes were open, Dani’s smile grew three sizes, her dreads jumping with each of our bounces.

  “IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!” Dani got up and started jumping with us, her face a beam of happiness.

  “Hey.” Matt stopped jumping immediately, looking serious. “It’s my birthday, too.” I covered up my laugh, trying not to ruin his joke.

  “IT’S OUR BIRTHDAY!” Dani shouted again. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US!”

  “Thank you.” Matt looked satisfied and resumed jumping. I’m not sure how long we jumped for, but I couldn’t have been happier, celebrating the life of two of my favorite people.

  “What is going on in here?”

  We turned to the door and a very pretty lady with dirty blonde hair and brown eyes stood with a smile.

  “Aunt Nicole!” Dani bellowed as she jumped off the bed and ran into the arms of her favorite relative.

  “Happy Birthday!” She wrapped her arms tightly around Dani and swayed her back and forth. Matt and I hopped off the bed and waited for Dani to stop hogging the aunt. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I smiled shyly and waited to introduce myself.

  “Happy birthday, kid.” She shared a matching look with Matt before enveloping him in her arms.

  “Thank you,” he smiled. “What are you doing here?”

  “Are you kidding?” She held him at arm’s length and smiled. “I couldn’t miss seeing you two on the big one.”

  “It’s good to see you,” he beamed.

  “You too.” She smiled just like I could only imagine his mom would have. “Now, don’t be rude.” I knew the look of confusion he was giving her without even seeing his face. “Introduce us,” she said through clenched teeth, making me laugh.

  “Aunt Nicole, this is Becka.” Matt smiled, holding his hand out for me.

  I r
eached my hand out to shake hers, feeling nervous. I didn’t get nervous around adults typically, but I knew how highly Matt thought of his aunt, and I knew how much she helped him when his mom died. The last thing I wanted was for her to dislike me or not think I was right for her nephew.

  “It’s nice to meet you.” I held my hand out to her, hoping for the best. What I didn’t expect was for her to slap it out of the way.

  “Get that out of here and bring it in.” She wrapped her arms around me strongly, making me smile. “It’s so great to finally meet you, even though I feel like I already know you.”

  “Yeah, me too.”

  “So, are you guys hungry? Birthday breakfast?” she asked once she let me go.

  “Waffles?” Dani asked. “When’s the last time you had diner waffles?”

  Nicole looked pleasantly surprised. “Wow, I haven’t thought about those in a long time. Seems like it’s been forever.”

  “Sounds like it’s a waffle morning.” Matt smiled. I don’t think I’d seen him smile this much so early. “Sound good to you, Becks?”

  I felt awkward. I hadn’t thought I was invited. “You guys can go spend time together. I’ll just meet up with you later for the party.”

  The look was genetic. All three of them furrowed their eyebrows and gave me the same look Matt gives me when I’m overthinking and not making sense.

  “No,” Matt spat out.

  “That’s not an option,” Dani hissed.

  I held up my hands defensively, not wanting to get ganged up on. “Alright, alright. I want waffles.”

  “Yeah, you do.” Dani smiled.

  “Great, I’ll see you guys downstairs.” Nicole grinned one last time before making her exit.

  Dani started powering through the room, looking for clothes. I was trying to focus on her instead of meeting Matt’s gaze, which was more difficult than I imagined. He didn’t give me a chance to ignore him.

  “Dani, we will see you downstairs.” Matt took my hand in his and pulled me back into his room. When the door was closed, he put those intense eyes on me. “Why don’t you want to come with us?” The worry in his voice was clear.

  “I didn’t say that I don’t. I do.”

  “Becks …”

  “I just didn’t want to impose. It’s your birthday, your family. I didn’t want to assume I was invited, or just invite myself.”

  His face changed from worried to almost upset. It made my heart hurt. “My family?”

  I nodded. “Your sister, your aunt. I just didn’t want to assume. Especially, if Nicole wanted time with you.”

  “Why don’t you consider yourself to be my family?” I didn’t know what to say, all I could feel was my heart rapidly beating in my chest.

  I combed my hair back from my face, trying not to panic. “I guess I just didn’t think about it like that.”

  “Can you? Please?” He held both my hands tightly. “I love my aunt, and I love my sister. But that has no comparison to how much I love you. Not even close.”

  I exhaled deeply. “I love you too. More than anyone.”

  “Don’t you dare think that you are ever not invited to things with my family.”

  His forehead rested on mine, helping me breathe. “I’m sorry.”

  “Nope, no apologies. Just be here with me.”

  “I go where you go.”

  We kissed for a moment, just trying to get back to where we were. I thought I was used to his sweetness and his amazing words, but I knew I never would be. There would be no amount of preparation for his love.

  Three loud bangs hit Matt’s door, making both of us jump in shock.

  “STOP HAVING SEX AND LET’S GO EAT!”

  Matt and I shook with laughter, our chests rising and falling together.

  “Looks like we might have to save this for later,” I laughed, kissing him quickly.

  “Promise?” he laughed, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

  “Consider it a birthday present.”

  I knew right away why Matt favored his aunt. She was more than cool, making me laugh a large majority of breakfast. She had so many stories to tell about when Matt and Dani were kids. Hearing about his childhood made my heart flutter. Nicole was great, and I was so happy Matt had her in his life.

  Mom and Rhylie were both coming with me to the party. Dani insisted they be there, which made Rhylie far too excited and gave Mom no opportunity to say no. And I couldn’t complain, I loved having both my worlds come together. We drove over to the Murphy’s and I could smell pizza before I even got inside. When I opened the door, I don’t know who was faster: Rocky at greeting me or Rhylie at greeting Matt.

  “Matt!” Rhylie screamed when she found him. She went barreling toward him at full speed. Matt had been spending a lot of time at our house, so it wasn’t like they didn’t see each other. But her excitement was always the same.

  “Rhylie!” He swooped her into his arms and spun her around.

  “Happy Birthday!” She yelled while she hugged his neck tightly.

  “Thank you!” He carried her in his arms like any other day. “How are you?”

  “I’m good. I made you a present!” She pointed to the green gift bag in Mom’s hand.

  “What! No way! That’s awesome!”

  “Mom’s here too!” She wiggled herself in his arms and pointed at my mom.

  “Hi, Maggie,” Matt said happily, clearly playing into Rhylie’s excitement.

  “Hey, Matt. Happy Birthday.” She smiled nicely and hugged him.

  “Where’s Dani? And James?” Rhylie looked around frantically.

  “They’re around here somewhere.” And like clockwork, Dani and James came through the kitchen door. Rhylie jumped from Matt’s arms and took off once again.

  “Thanks for coming.” Matt smiled nicely at Mom.

  Mom looked at him like he was being dumb. “Of course. But do you think Dani gave me a choice?”

  Matt chuckled. “True.”

  Michael came from the kitchen, joining the party. He looked more tired than usual, but I assumed it was a combination of working and drinking. From what I got out of Matt, Michael still wasn’t sober, and most of the conversation between the two of them had ceased. Michael was staying at work longer, or at least that’s where he said he was. I’m not sure if he was technically “invited” to the party, but I wasn’t about to ask. I wanted this to go as smoothly for both Matt and Dani as possible. Hopefully, Michael’s presence didn’t disrupt that.

  We all gathered in the living room to eat pizza and hang out. A movie was playing but no one was watching, everyone’s eyes were on Rhylie. She was changing subjects rapidly, but everyone was very much involved and entertained by what she had to say.

  I was throwing away my trash when Nicole joined me in the kitchen.

  “Did I mention how great you look?” Nicole charmed me as she washed her hands. “I remember those days when I could wear stuff like that.”

  “Thank you,” I blushed. I had decided on light blue high waisted jeans and a white crop top t-shirt. I didn’t want to be over dressed or under dressed, I just really wanted her to like me. “You look great too!” She was wearing an olive-colored maxi dress with a black crocheted cardigan. Her hair was so long, waving halfway down her back. “I really like your dress.”

  She waved me off. “I think I got this as a maternity dress, but you can’t tell.” She laughed. I wasn’t sure where we were supposed to go with our conversation. I wanted to be comfortable with her, but I was so nervous to say something stupid.

  “Could we talk for a second?” she asked quietly, almost timidly.

  “Of course.” I felt myself sweating.

  “I know it’s weird of me to talk to my nephew’s girlfriend about how she feels about him, but with his mom not here, it’s kind of my job now.”

  “No worries. I get it.

  “So, how do you feel about Matt?”

  I sighed, leaning against the table for support. “He’s…home. He makes
me feel safe and loved and at home no matter where we are.” Her eyes went wide as she listened to my words, but I couldn’t seem to stop. I needed her to understand. “Matt became so much more than just my boyfriend. He showed me how to trust and how to care and how to open up to people. He showed me more about myself than I knew I ever had in me, and I love him for it. But I love him for who he is too. I love him for being so thoughtful and strong and determined and sweet. I love him for everything that he is because I know he loves me for everything I am.”

  “Woah.” Her eyebrows touched her hairline. “That’s so...deep.”

  “I know a lot of people probably don’t get it. We haven’t been together for very long; most relationships aren’t this serious this fast. But I really do love him, I hope you know that.”

  “When he came for Thanksgiving, he told me how happy you make him. We would talk about stuff and he would just start laughing and then be like ‘this one time with Becka’. It was so adorable. But it was great to see. It had been a long time since I’d seen him that happy. And that was two months ago! And now I’m here and I see the two of you together and I can tell how real this is. Not only for him but for you too.” Nicole began to wipe tears from the corners of her eyes.

  “Why are you crying?”

  “I’m sorry, I just…” she wiped more tears and smiled. “I just wish his mom could see how happy he is and how happy you are.” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. “Damnit, now I’ve made you cry.”

  “I cry all the time, it’s fine.” I laughed as I dabbed my tears. “I’m just glad you like me.”

  “What’s not to like?” she exclaimed. “You are amazing and beautiful and make my boy happy, that’s all I need.” She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me deeply. “Natalie would’ve loved you too.”

  I squeezed tighter, so happy to have finally met her.

  “Are you guys crying?”

  We let go of each other and found Matt, looking scared almost, making us both laugh.

  “What happened? Is something wrong?” Panic hit his voice.

  “No sweetie, everything is fine. We are just talking.” She smiled back at me. “You got a good one, Matt. Don’t let her get away.” She squeezed my hand one more time before leaving Matt and me alone.