A Cowboy's Plan

by Mary Sullivan

  “Thank you,” she whispered and stood on her toes. She rested her lips against his, the move all about profound gratitude and infinite relief and deep, deep connection.

  C.J. held himself still and she knew he did it so he wouldn’t frighten her.

  She pulled back a little and stared into his brown eyes. Her gaze dropped to his lips. Oh, she wanted to do that again.

  Janey felt the vicious violence of that assault, and her utter helplessness, begin to fade.

  With this wondrous gift C.J. had given her, the knowledge that the shame was never hers but her attacker’s, she could learn to heal. Maybe in time, she could let it all go, could finally be with a man the way she wanted to.

  C.J. GLANCED AT JANEY. They were on their way to pick up Liam. They’d done enough for one day. He felt good about what he and Janey had been through. It had been a long time since he’d shared so much of himself with a woman.

  He was glad he could be there for Janey, with her sister and at the cemetery.He wanted to teach her to touch people. To touch him.

  They stopped at a red light and he reached out a hand and laid it palm up on her knee. She flinched then stilled. Slowly she placed her hand on his.

  He let out a slow breath, then said, “Thank you for being here today.”

  They sat staring ahead, her palm soft against his callused one. The pulse in her wrist beat beneath his little finger and he felt his own hitch up a notch to match. How fast was it in the heat of lovemaking? How languid afterward?

  The light turned green and C.J. returned his attention to the road, but took his time sliding his hand away from Janey’s.

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her shiver.

  He knew how she felt. There’d been no crazy lust in the touch, but something deeper, something real. Something profoundly sweet. He wanted Janey’s innocence to wash away the shame of all the jaded, frantic screwing around he’d done after Davey’s death.

  He suddenly needed her to wash him clean.

  Funny that she looked so much more cynical than him when in her Goth clothes, but he felt much more jaded than she appeared to be.

  C.J. pulled up in front of the building that housed the offices of Child and Family Services.

  “C’mon,” he said. “Let’s go get my son.”

  What a crazy, nerve-wracking day. “Vicki’s parents can go to hell. Liam is mine and I’m taking him back home, no matter what Marjorie says.”

  His pulse pounded in his left temple.

  They entered the building and found Marjorie in her office.

  She smiled when they entered.

  “How did the interview go?” C.J. asked, his jaw tight.

  “The interview went just fine.” Marjorie stood. “Liam’s grandparents have no case against you. My recommendation is that he should stay with his father.”

  Thank God.

  “Yeah.” C.J. punched the air with one fist. “Yeah!”

  Whew! He blew a stream of air out of his lungs.

  “What about the next time they make a complaint?” he asked, still bitter and frustrated.

  “There won’t be a next time. I’ve already spoken to them.”

  C.J. felt this insane urge to hug Marjorie and to throttle the Fishers.

  “How did that go?”

  Marjorie smiled grimly. “They weren’t too happy.”

  She led them to the playroom. They stood outside and watched Liam pile blocks.

  Liam, you’re mine. C.J. had spent too much of the last year waiting for the axe to fall on his head. It was finally over. No more interference in his life with his son.

  His hands shook.

  “I found out something interesting in the interview.” Marjorie looked up at C.J. “Vicki didn’t say anything bad about you to Liam. It was his grandparents.”

  C.J.’s left temple throbbed hard enough to back a rock band. “What did they say?”

  “Liam kept saying, ‘Daddy leave.’ I finally figured out what he meant and called his grandmother Fisher to verify it. Sort of forced her to admit the truth.”

  Marjorie touched C.J.’s arm. “She had told him that you couldn’t be trusted, that Liam shouldn’t get close to you because one day you would leave him.”

  C.J. felt like he was hyperventilating. Evil, evil people. After what they’d put him through in the last year, they’d be lucky if they ever saw their grandson again.

  “You will have to figure out a way to convince him that it isn’t true,” Marjorie said. “Good luck.”

  She turned to go, then came back. “Another thing, please work on Liam’s vocabulary. He is so far behind because of the neglect he suffered in his first couple of years.”

  Business completed, she gestured with one hand toward the door, smiled and said, “Liam’s all yours.”

  C.J. called into the room, “Liam, let’s go.”

  Liam came running, passed him and lunged at Janey’s legs. How was C.J. going to undo the damage the Fishers had done? He didn’t have a clue.

  Marjorie laid a hand on C.J.’s arm. “Good luck with the relationship you’re trying to forge with Liam,” she told him. “He’s a very satisfied little guy these days. He’ll come around in time.”

  “Thanks,” C.J. said, and placed his hand over hers for one brief moment.

  C.J. led them out to the Jeep.

  Janey tucked Liam into his car seat.

  “Let’s go get lunch,” C.J. said. Someday he’d have to figure out whether Liam could ever have a normal relationship with his grandparents. Someday. Not today. Today was for celebrating.

  He yanked off the tie he’d worn today, opened the top button of his shirt and pulled his shirttails out of his pants. Might as well be comfortable and himself. At last. Liam was his. No more worries.

  “Woooohoooo,” he sang as he drove out of Billings.

  FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS, C.J. treated Janey as if she was nothing more than a good acquaintance, as if they hadn’t learned so much about each other in Billings. As if they hadn’t shared in each other’s healing. It almost felt like something was holding him back, so he was keeping his distance.

  Janey didn’t know what to think.Finally, in a fit of frustration on Friday, she cornered him in the back room of the shop. “What is going on with you?”

  “What do you mean?” He watched her warily.

  “I mean, why are you walking on eggshells around me?”

  C.J. deflated. “You noticed.”

  “Yeah, I noticed.” Janey folded her arms across her chest. “What’s happening?”

  “I’m afraid to touch you. To spook you.” He knocked his fist gently on the counter. “I’ve never had to deal with a woman who’s been raped.”

  “C.J., you’ve already taught me how to be able to touch more easily than I could before I started to work here.” She cocked her head to one side. “Can’t we take it from there?”

  C.J. smiled. “Yeah, okay. I’ll try to relax.”

  The phone rang and C.J. ran to answer it.

  Janey entered the pantry for the fixings for another batch of humbugs.

  “Hey, C.J.,” she called. “Where’s the peppermint extract?”

  He didn’t answer.

  Liam sat on the back doorstep in the sun, playing with three cars he’d brought in with him that morning.

  “C.J.?” she called.

  He still didn’t answer.

  He entered the back room, steps heavy, face solemn.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s Gramps. He’s had a heart attack.”

  Janey’s hand flew to her mouth and she spun to make sure Liam hadn’t heard. He hummed a cartoon jingle.

  Janey rushed to C.J. “Is he—”

  He shook his head, his eyes bleak. “He’s hanging on in Intensive Care. It’s touch and go.”

  She rested her hand on his forearm, rubbed his warm hair-dusted skin. “I’m so sorry. Do you want to go see him? You can leave Liam with me. Tell me how to close up the shop.”
<
br />   C.J. SPENT FOUR HOURS at the hospital sitting with Gramps and making arrangements.

  By the time he drove down the driveway to his house, bone weary, he felt as though he’d been run through a wringer washer. Even though the sun was inching its way toward the horizon, the house was dark.Empty.

  Where were Janey and Liam?

  The house had never felt so lonely to him without both Gramps and Liam.

  C.J. was starting to have this crazy weird dream of maybe working on a relationship with Janey to see where it went. To see whether someday she might fit into his world, in this house, on his ranch, into his dreams.

  Walking back to the Jeep and looking over the fields, he got that vision he’d had after the day Janey had walked into the store and all but demanded a job. He saw those little girls with long black ponytails like Janey’s running through his fields.

  He buried those thoughts, so afraid to jinx the fragile thing developing between himself and Janey.

  Just deal with one day at a time, C.J.

  He headed into Ordinary. As he turned onto Main Street, he saw Janey locking up the shop for the night. Liam stood beside her with one car in each hand while Janey held the third.

  “Hi,” he said.

  “Hi. How did it go?” Concern etched a frown into her forehead.

  “He’s stable. They think he’s going to be okay. He’ll need to slow down his recovery from the knee operation. Even when he’s fully healed, Gramps won’t ever be able to ranch again. Dad and I talked about our options and it’s clear I need to get this store sold so I can get the ranch up and running to capacity.”

  “Liam and I are just heading down to the diner for supper,” Janey said. “Want to come?”

  “Why didn’t you close at the regular time and take him back to the ranch? I picked up groceries yesterday.”

  “I don’t have a car and it’s too far to walk.”

  C.J. cursed.

  Liam whispered. “Bad word.”

  C.J. flushed, “Sorry.” To Janey he said, “It completely slipped my mind that you couldn’t take him home.”

  “It’s okay. Let’s go to dinner. My treat. My boss paid me this morning.”

  In the diner, Liam climbed all over Janey, but she barely paid him attention. She was thinking hard about something. What was going through her head?

  “Do you have a cell phone?” she asked. “I need to call Amy.”

  “Can’t it wait until you get home?”

  She shook her head.

  C.J. jerked a thumb toward the back of the diner. “There’s a pay phone beside the washrooms.”

  JANEY’S FINGERS TINGLED. The craziest thought was running around inside her head. She couldn’t really be thinking what she was considering, could she?

  If the ranch was C.J.’s future, could the candy shop be part of hers? The world was waiting for her to grab it by the balls and take off, to finish high school and college and put on that pink lipstick and those high heels and get a good job. To become a businesswoman.But there was a crazy thought running around in her head that might work for her and for C.J.

  The thought was buzzing, loudly, calling for attention. Jumping up and down and waving its hand in the air. Pick me, pick me. I know the answer.

  Could it work?

  She dialed the Sheltering Arms and got Hank, who passed her on to Amy when he realized the call was about money.

  Five minutes later, she was beaming.

  “Are you sure this is what you want? To own a candy shop?” Amy’s voice betrayed her surprise.

  “This would work for me, Amy. I could take my courses in the evenings after work. The income from the candy shop could pay for school. C.J. could buy his cattle and pay the back taxes and run the ranch.” Janey’s hands shook. Wow, she was making decisions just like a real businesswoman.

  Later, when she’d finished her studies, she could sell the shop and move to Billings to open a business there.

  “Okay, Hank and I will help,” Amy said and Janey heard excitement in her voice. “That little shop is a going concern. You’ll do well there.”

  She hung up and returned to the booth.

  C.J. looked up from his burger and pointed to her food. “Eat. It’s getting cold.”

  Janey grinned. “I’m going to buy the store.”

  C.J. choked and coughed. His face turned red and he guzzled his glass of water. “You’re going to buy my store?”

  “Yep. I have some of the down payment. Amy’s going to lend me the rest. She and Hank are going to hold my mortgage.”

  C.J. hooted and drew everyone’s attention.

  “You look the way I feel, insanely happy,” C.J. said a split second before she got an up-close-and-personal look at those hazel eyes and his straight nose and the dimple in his chin and those great sculpted lips as he leaned across the table. He kissed her quickly before she had a chance to close her eyes or pucker up.

  All she felt was a quick whoosh of air, then his heat surrounding her and then the touch of his lips—here and gone in a flash.

  So nice.

  “Do you really want the store that badly?” C.J. asked.

  “It’s a stop on the way to my dreams. Someday, I want to work in a big city, maybe at a big company or maybe run my own. I want to be a successful businessperson. In the meantime, I’ll run the store and take business courses long-distance.”

  A curious expression crossed C.J.’s face—almost sad, but not quite. It passed in a flash, then he joined her in making plans and celebrating this big turn of events.

  After they finished eating, C.J. and Liam drove to the ranch and she walked to the shop in a haze of euphoria. Soon, Sweet Talk would be hers. Next Monday, they would start the legal proceedings.

  From then on, Janey Wilson would be a shop owner, and on her way to wheeling and dealing as a savvy successful person. Happiness bubbled up in her chest, made her breathing erratic. Wow. The day that Amy and Hank had handed Janey her year’s salary and she’d opened her bank account had been a turning point in her life—more than she’d even realized at the time.

  She would spend the next couple of years in the candy store spinning dreams for children, and in the meantime, work toward a bigger, more important career. A real career.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  THE NEXT DAY, Janey, C.J. and Liam went to the Sheltering Arms to hang out by the pool. As soon as they arrived, C.J. explained his swimming rules to her. “No going into the deep end with Liam.”

  “Sure.” They all ran up to the bedrooms to get changed. Janey put on her bathing suit in her old room and listened to C.J. and Liam leave the second floor to go outside.She dawdled, on purpose, thinking about a plan she’d formed, a beautiful treacherous insane plan, probably misguided, too, but she was going to see it through. She had to break the impasse between C.J. and Liam and she hoped this would do it. She was going to pretend that she and Liam were drowning so C.J. would come rescue them and Liam would see his father as a hero.

  If she lost C.J.’s respect, well…that would hurt. She would just have to live with it.

  A man should know his son, should be able to touch him, to hold him, to care for him.

  Her life with Cheryl had been cash poor, but wealthy in so many other ways. She didn’t have a strong enough imagination to understand exactly what C.J. was going through, but she did know she couldn’t have borne the pain if Cheryl had rejected her.

  She walked toward the back of the house and ran into Hank as he stepped out of the washroom. Luck was with her. She needed backup in case something went wrong.

  Hank’s mouth dropped open.

  “Janey, look at you.” He cleared his throat.

  Janey hadn’t seen Hank since she’d stopped wearing makeup, so this was his first encounter with the plain her. Even when she had gone swimming here in the past, she’d left her makeup on and kept her head above water, except for those times when she and Amy had been out here alone and Amy had taught her to swim.

  Hank
’s eyes suddenly looked damp. “It’s good to see you, darlin’.” He turned away and swiped a hand down his face as he went.

  Oh, Hank, I love you, too.

  When he came back to her, she whispered her plan to him and explained his role.

  “Are you nuts?” he cried.

  “Maybe, but I need to try this.” She touched Hank’s arm. “There won’t be any danger. I promise. Amy taught me to swim really well.”

  “I know she did, but—” He pulled off his Stetson, scratched his thick hair, then slapped the hat on again.

  “You’ll be there behind the cabana watching,” Janey said. “If anything goes wrong, you would be there in a second.”

  Hank looked down at her hand on his arm and smiled. Laughed.

  “You’re touching me!”

  Janey smiled. “Yeah. C.J.’s kind of been teaching me how to do that.”

  “You’re falling for him, aren’t you?”

  “Yes.” She meant it with all of her heart.

  “You could do a lot worse than C. J. Wright. I’m happy for you.”

  “Then do this for me,” she pleaded. “I know it will work.”

  Hank bowed his head for a second then said, “All right.”

  When they stepped out the back door, a wave of sound met them—children screaming, Willie hollering and tossing a ball across the water over the heads of those children to another ranch hand, Rob.

  They jumped on him and the water churned with a mass of legs and wet bodies and splashing water and with Rob’s one arm straight up in the air still clutching the ball. He came up laughing.

  Lots of kids wore bathing caps, probably so their little bald or peach-fuzz scalps wouldn’t burn.

  A couple of ranch hands walked the perimeter of the pool, acting as lifeguards, keeping eagle eyes on the children.

  She followed Hank through the gate of the wrought-iron fence that surrounded the pool and closed it behind herself.

  C.J. looked up when he heard the latch catch.

  He pantomimed looking at a watch on his bare wrist and mouthed, “What took so long?” Then he did a double take. Janey wore an old black one-piece that covered most of her, but from the hot look in C.J.’s eyes, he didn’t mind that it was faded with age or that it felt a bit too tight for comfort.