The door rattled. ‘I am but it’s not working.’
My back vibrated as Dean chuckled.
‘Hang on a minute,’ I said, twisting within his grip to see his face. ‘You put a lock on the door?’
‘Yep.’
I giggled like a naughty teenager and covered my mouth, turning completely so that I was lying on top of him, face-to-face. ‘You naughty man. I like your style.’
‘And I like yours. I also like my eggs over easy.’ He waggled his eyebrows and hoisted me up, positioning my pussy over his mouth. ‘So start laying.’
Oh. My. God!
* * *
One month later, I was standing at the foot of a City Tower suite bed, reading a note from Alexis and staring at a purple bodysuit and a pair of black overalls draped across the mattress.
This was the only way I could arrange a surprise costume party and have you attend it.
Don’t hate me.
And don’t hate your husband. He only knew what he needed to know,
which wasn’t a hell of a lot.
Anyway, all of your friends and family are currently arriving at the penthouse,
so woman up and get dressed.
Oh, and Carl and Jane will be there at 6:30 p.m. to do your hair and makeup.
Happy 40th, bitch.
I’ll see you soon.
Lexi xo
That sneaky little blonde birthday-planning butt plug!
‘You’ve got to be shitting me,’ I said out loud, exasperated.
Digging my phone out of my bag, I dialled Dean but he didn’t answer, so I typed him a text.
Tash: You knew about this?
I’m going to kill you.
There better not be any balloons at this party.
And I better not be the only one dressed in costume.
Dread and excitement rolled into one big ball that settled at the pit of my stomach. I can’t believe she did this to me. Actually, yes I can.
I scrolled to her name and typed her a text as well.
Tash: THRONE. OF. LIES!
She answered instantly.
Alexis: MOTHERFUCKING IRON THRONE!
Hurry up and get your purple Evil Minion arse up here now!
Tash: And what if I don’t?
Alexis: I’ll send a big bunch of balloons to your room.
Tash: You’re the worst friend I know.
Alexis: You’re welcome.
I wanted to tit-punch her. In fact, I was going to tit-punch her. The evil wench had bloody well tricked me.
‘Tash, Bryce has set up a dinner meeting for you and film publicist Josie Durnam, from Premiere and Event Media Management, to discuss the possibility of City Towers hosting the premiere for The Dressmaker in October. Suite 3907 will be free for you to prep beforehand. Good luck! I’m sure you’ll nail it. Self-defence on Monday, yeah?’ she’d said in her email to me yesterday.
Lies.
Lies.
Lies.
There was no meeting.
Tossing my phone onto the bed and picking up the bodysuit and overalls, I shook my head and laughed. Only Alexis could pull off something like this. Only she would have the balls to not only throw me a costume party I didn’t want, but to also go behind my back in order to do it knowing deep down I’d love her even more for calling my bluff.
Only a true friend could see past the fluff we hide behind.
Forty-five minutes later, my face was purple, my neck was purple, my hair was teased into a crazy mess and sprayed purple, and I was trying to see through a pair of giant silver goggles as I made my way to the penthouse foyer, stopping at an obnoxious sign that read:
This is a clown and balloon free party.
I laughed but simultaneously sighed with relief. Thank God for Bryce Edward Clark and his fear of clowns. This is his doing. I know it!
Reaching forward to press the buzzer, the door was wrenched open before I could do so, and standing there before me was Alexis … dressed as a Minion.
‘SURPRISE!’ she shouted, her yellow hand grabbing mine and yanking me inside.
I stumbled forward but then stopped in my tracks when a sea of yellow minions — also known as my family and friends — looked up from their gathered position three steps below in the living area.
‘PAPOY!’ they all shouted.
Dead.
I’d died all the deads.
And then I laughed my arse off and tit-punched Alexis.
CHAPTER
24
TASH
‘I can’t believe you did this! I can’t believe everyone is a freakin’ Minion. Even my mum!’
Alexis happy-clapped, grabbed two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter and handed me one. ‘Oh, your mum was easy. Bryce was the challenge.’
I took a sip but then nearly spat it out. ‘Bryce is dressed up as a Minion too? Oh my God, where is he?’
Stretching on my tippy-toes, I searched the room for what could quite possibly be the hottest damn Minion to ever exist — either that or the most hilarious.
‘Over there by the bi-fold doors, holding the baby Minion.’
My eyes scooted past the staircase to the floor-to-ceiling glass doors that opened on the outdoor pool area, and settled on a six-foot-five Kevin-inspired Minion, sporting a teeny tiny Stuart Minion on his hip. ‘Oh, that is the best thing I’ve ever seen,’ I laughed.
‘Isn’t it just?’
‘Honestly, I … I can’t believe you did this. And not one balloon in sight. Thank you.’ Squeezing her tightly, I continued to scan the room in search of Dean. ‘Is my husband here?’
She pulled back and grimaced. ‘No, not yet. He was supposed to be.’
‘Where is he?’
‘I don’t know. Work, I guess. Maybe traffic. I tried calling him but he didn’t answer.’
I pulled my phone out of my bra. ‘He hasn’t even answered my text.’
‘I’m sure he’s fine, hon,’ she said, gently resting her hand on my shoulder. ‘It’s still early.’
‘Yeah, you’re right.’
‘Mum!’ Thomas yelled, the small yellow and blue menace latching onto my leg. ‘You look crazy.’
‘Well, I am an evil purple Minion.’
‘I don’t like the purple ones.’
‘I do.’
‘I don’t.’
My hands found my hips. ‘Where’s your brother?’
‘I don’t know. Bye.’ He ran off.
‘That was nice,’ I said, drinking the rest of my champagne. ‘No “Hi, Mum. Happy birthday. How was your day? I missed you”.’
Alexis laughed. ‘It’s a costume party. Not a magic show.’
‘Yeah, don’t I know it.’
She took the empty glass from my hand and handed me another. ‘Here, drink up. Enjoy and relax.’
‘I have to drive.’
‘Are you kidding me?’
‘No … I drove to work today.’
‘Uh, that suite you got ready in is yours and Dean’s for the weekend, you stupid purple Froot Loop.’
‘What about the kids? Is Mum taking them?’
‘No. Your mother is staying in a suite as well and the kids are staying here with Nate and Charli.’
‘Oh … REALLY?’ Tears began to form in my eyes, so I blinked them away and wrapped my arms around my best friend. ‘Thank you so much, you sneaky bitch. You have no idea how much I love and appreciate you.’
‘I do, because you should.’
‘I’m not gonna argue with that. Not tonight. You win all the things tonight.’
‘Is this a Minion ménage à trois?’ Carly asked, stepping up beside us. ‘Because I’m not opposed to some kinky Minion shiz.’
I let go of Alexis and hugged Carls. ‘Sometimes I worry about you.’
‘Sometimes I worry about me, too. Happy birthday, old fart.’
‘I’m not much older than you.’
‘You’re forty. That’s only ten years shy of fifty.’
The room froze
and time stood still, or at least that was what it felt like. Holy shit! I am.
Age had always been just a number to me, a number that didn’t define you or what you should or shouldn’t do, but as I stood there in a room full of Minions with the realisation that I was closer to half a century than not, how old I was had never been more apparent.
‘I’m going to get very pissed tonight,’ I stated firmly.
Carly and Lexi both laughed, Lexi flagging down the waiter. ‘Thatta girl.’
The waiter made his way across the room and practically bowed. ‘Yes, Ms Summers. Can I get you anything?’
‘Sebastian, for the umpteenth time, STOP CALLING ME MS SUMMERS!’ she voiced a little too loudly. ‘Oooh, sorry. I didn’t mean to yell that. But seriously, Seb, stop it.’
He moved in closer and lowered his voice. ‘I know. I’m sorry. But Mr Clark made it very clear I was to address you like that at all times. He’s the boss.’
‘He is,’ I chimed in, raising my glass. ‘He’s Mr boss-man.’
Carly clinked my glass with hers.
Alexis playfully glared at us then draped her arm over Sebastian’s shoulder. ‘Mr Clark is being a major pain in my arse. Mr Clark likes being a pain in my arse, if you know what I mean.’
Sebastian’s stance waivered, the tray he was balancing tipping before he quickly corrected it.
‘I don’t want you to be a pain in my arse, Seb. Got it?’
‘Yes! Of course. Got it, Ms Summ— I mean, Alexis.’
‘Good. Now, if you wouldn’t mind, can you bring us a tray of schnappies?’
‘Schnappies?’
‘Cocksucking Cowboys,’ Carly explained, treating us to a visual explanation by pretending to give head to her champagne flute.
A hand slid onto Carly’s hip, a hand belonging to Derek. ‘If I was a jealous motherfucker, I’d smash that glass and throw your Minion arse over my Minion shoulder.’ He eyed Carly heatedly then acknowledged the rest of us. ‘Lex. Waiter dude. Purple People Eater.’ Derek leaned over and kissed my cheek. ‘Happy birthday.’
‘Thanks, Derek.’
‘Where’s Deano? He better be a miniature yellow fucker like the rest of us.’
I shrugged. ‘He’s not here yet.’
As I was about to pull out my phone again and check if he’d rung or returned my message, a familiar deep voice followed by another familiar voice sounded behind me.
‘Happy birthday, Tashy.’
‘Happy birthday, Tash.’
I turned to find Dale and Allison both dressed as Minions and holding each other’s hand, and as if time had stopped for the second time that night, I just stood there, glass in hand, unblinking, their entwined fingers holding my stare captive. It also robbed me of words and the ability to breathe.
I felt a little ill but simultaneously wanted to laugh at the sight of Dale as a Minion, and I think that was the only thing that stopped my champagne from resurfacing and spraying Ali in the face.
‘Oh, hi guys,’ I replied to them, my throat thick and dry. ‘Thanks. You both look cute.’
Dale chuckled. ‘A purple Minion. I should’ve known.’
I managed a small smile and nodded.
‘What is it with you and purple?’ Ali asked. What is it with you, you skank?
Ugh! Ali wasn’t a skank, so I regretted my thought as soon as I’d had it; thankful it had only burst within my head and not from my mouth. And as weird as it was for me to even entertain the notion, the two of them really did make a cute couple. That said, seeing them together required a good dose of liquid courage.
‘Purple is the colour of cab sav, Prince, and the Rialto at sunset,’ I advised, skolling the rest of my champers.
‘Drink up,’ Lexi announced, shoving the tray of schnappies under my nose.
‘You don’t have to ask me twice.’ I put down my empty glass yet again and picked up a shot, downing it before picking up another two.
‘Big night, Tashy?’
I nodded and downed another.
The look Lexi flung at Dale was one of you-make-her-cry-I’ll-make-you-cry. He seemed to get the drift and avoided her glare.
‘Mum! Where’s Dad— DALE!’ Thomas exclaimed.
‘Cadet Thomas.’ He bent down and shook Tommy’s hand. ‘How’s things? Keepin’ everyone safe?’
‘Yep. I locked up my neighbour the other day.’
Dale tilted his head up, his eyebrows rising.
‘True story,’ I said.
‘Mum, where’s Dad?’
Downing my last shot, I pulled my phone out of my bra. ‘I don’t know.’ I activated the screen and noticed there was a message. ‘Oh, hang on. He’s sent me a text.’
Dean: I’m sorry, love.
I’m gonna be late.
I’m at Hill’s.
Her boyfriend hit her.
He’s at Hill’s? What? ‘Oh,’ I said, worry churning the alcohol in my stomach. ‘Can you excuse me for a second?’
Concerned faces stared back at me as I stepped away and headed outside to the pool deck where it was quieter so that I could call him. But, again, he didn’t answer, so I typed another text.
Tash: What’s going on?
Is she okay?
What time will you be here?
Alexis has gone to A LOT of trouble.
Spotting Bryce as I headed back inside, I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and stole Bray.
‘Everything okay?’ he asked.
‘Yeah. Just waiting for Dean to arrive.’
Brayden whacked my arms and giggled before finally turning his head to look at me. His little blue eyes widened as far as they would go and his bottom lip dropped.
‘Bray? Hey, what’s wrong, little dude? It’s me, Tash.’
A high-pitched squeal left his mouth and he lunged for his dad like a manic cat.
‘What? What did I do?’
‘You look like a crazy purple clown, Tash. I almost had security escort you out of the building.’
‘But I’m the guest of honour.’
‘Yep. Don’t give a shit. The absence of clown-like makeup saved you.’
‘Well, you can thank Carl and Jane for that.’
‘I will. Now, tell me what’s wrong. Why isn’t Dean here?’ he said, hugging Brayden to his chest, comforting him.
‘He’s at his secretary’s house.’
‘Who’s at his secretary’s house?’ Alexis asked, concern on her face as she took Bray from Bryce.
I sighed. ‘Dean.’
‘Why?’
‘Because he’s had a hunch for a few months that her boyfriend has been abusive. Apparently he was right.’
‘Hang on a minute, I’m not following. He’s there now with the abusive boyfriend?’
‘I don’t know. I hope not.’
Bryce signalled Dale over.
‘No!’ I whispered. ‘I don’t want Dale involved.’
‘Why not?’
‘Bryce,’ Alexis said sternly, shaking her head and warning him with her eyes.
His brows drew together then widened, the look he gave me one of shock.
‘No. It’s not like tha—’
‘What’s up, mate?’ Dale asked Bryce, interrupting me.
‘Uh …’ He glanced at Lexi and then back to Dale. ‘I forgot to ask if the security glitch at Cashier Station Eight was sorted out.’
‘No, you didn’t forget. I told you it was a wiring problem and that the techs were on to it.’
‘Shit! Seems I forgot that I didn’t forget.’
‘Yeah.’ He slapped Bryce on the back. ‘You need a holiday.’
‘It’s just his daddy-brain,’ Alexis added, laughing it off.
Dale nodded his understanding and then gestured to my phone. ‘So, is everything sorted with your husband?’
Bryce’s eyes narrowed at Dale, and I watched as Alexis snuggled herself within his arms, distracting him with Brayden.
‘Um … not quite. He’s running late. I’m not sure when h
e’ll get here.’
‘SHIT!’ Alexis blurted. ‘He’s supposed to be bringing the cake. He wouldn’t let me organise one.’
‘Oh, don’t worry about it. I don’t need a cake.’
‘Yes, you do,’ all three of them said in unison.
‘I don’t. It’s fine.’
‘You do.’ Dale brought his phone to his ear. ‘I’m on it.’ He winked and stepped out of our conversation.
‘No! Really, it’s fine. Ugh!’
‘Someone want to tell me what’s going on between my events supervisor and my head of security?’
I sighed. ‘Chill, boss-man. It’s nothing. Nothing is going on.’
He rephrased himself. ‘What was going on then?’
‘Nothing. You don’t need to worry about a thing.’
‘Natasha Jones!’ he warned.
‘Bryce Clark!’ I warned back.
‘Both of you stop it.’ Alexis handed Brayden back to his father. ‘This is a birthday party. There’ll be no “work-business” here tonigh—’
The screech of a microphone sounded, followed by the shriek of most of the occupants in the room.
‘Excuse me,’ Charlotte announced. ‘I’m taking singing requests.’
I pursed my lips to refrain from laughing, which was when Alexis grabbed my arm and yanked me towards the front of the room.
I tried to dig my feet into the hardwood floor, skidding after her. ‘No! I’m not drunk enough.’
‘Good. This will be a warm-up then.’
* * *
Several hours later, we’d knocked back more schnappies and knocked out ‘Broken Wings’ by Mr. Mister, ‘All My Life’ by K-Ci & JoJo, ‘99 Luftballoons’ by Nena — against my wishes, mind you, because I fucking hate that song — and were just finishing up with ‘The Horses’ by Daryl Braithwaite when I noticed Sebastian push a trolley to the front of the room, and on top of it was a ginormous two-tiered cake covered in purple icing, purple ribbon, flowers, and a big purple bow on top.
My mouth dropped and my glorious singing ceased. I scanned the room, finding Dale with his arm around Allison. It was intimate and possessive and it twinged my stomach. But I ignored what I wasn’t supposed to feel and met his gaze. He smiled, sheepishly, and rocked back on his heels, and it was just … so incredibly sweet.
‘Thank you,’ I mouthed, clutching my chest.
My breasts vibrated and ‘You Sexy Thing’ sounded from under my clutched hands. It was Dean ringing my phone, but I didn’t care. He’d missed my entire fortieth birthday, and I thought it more important to thank everyone who had made the effort to come than to answer his call. Plus, we were about to eat cake. Purple cake. Cake that Dale had arranged because my husband was too busy with his secretary to bring the one he promised he’d bring.
Commitment Page 24