Pleasures and Follies

by AnonYMous

  Guac admired my grasp of the situation and my sense of economy. He promised he would submit completely to my orders and asked leave to call my sister or the nun, saying he wished to be frigged. I summoned them both. Uncovering her breasts, I bade the Carmelite take hold of my husband's prick and balls. Next, I placed my sister in the appropriate position, raised her skirts to above her waist, and adjusted her so that she would exhibit a view of her ass, which was exceedingly attractive to look upon. I stood beside her, likewise exposed, but showing Guac my forequarters. He, titillated by a soft and gentle hand and relishing the prospect of three eminently agreeable women, soon began to mutter and whinny with pleasure. From this amiable mood he went into a furious one and he would without any doubt have encunted that nun had I not leapt to his prick and shoved it into my mouth. He discharged into my throat, howling with joy. We all four went out together to the dance and my sister, my cousin, and I were greeted most warmly by the merry-makers come to the wedding.

  My six fuckers for that night had arrived. Guac, taking great care not to show me to any of those who were to have me, made much ado about me to those who were not. They were, taken all together, six monsters of ugliness. Guac found a way to get them to take off all their clothes: he led them into an isolated room, bade them strip, and rubbed their bodies with what he described as an invigorating balm. I observed this scene through the keyhole.

  The first was a fleshless skeleton having a prick resembling my father's. His nose was so long it touched his chin. He was hollow-chested, bright-eyed, and he had warts all over his body. I decided to bestow him upon my sister because of his prick's moderate proportions – and I imagined I'd find few moderately proportioned ones amongst these gentlemen. His name was Widewit.

  The second was a stocky, stout little man with a considerable belly and a prick the equal of my uncle's. His hide was the color of boiled lobster, by way of a nose he was furnished with a large beet. He had bushy eyebrows, a funnel-shaped mouth and the slack lips of a great eater. He, too, was to be destined for Doucette if I failed to find anyone better. His name: Witencon de la Cowillardière.

  The third proved to be constructed like a heron or like a dromedary: he was hoisted up on long stilt-like legs or poles, lacking entirely in calves. Upon his shoulders he carried a conical head; his visage was sharp and dark. His skinny thighs were mere continuations of his meager legs, separated only by enormous knobby knees. Everything that was wanting in the rest of him was found in his prick, this article being sturdy, nay, massive, more so even than our betailed man's and twice the diameter of Guac's. I selected Towtenwit for my aunt, who was hot-blooded, big-gaped and barren.

  The fourth was an important corn-factor as broad as he was tall, covered with black hair and with pimples, having balls weighing sixteen or twenty ounces each, and a very long prick, as thick as my uncle's. I chose Witplongeardow for my cousin because of his balls.

  The face belonging to the fifth had the hue of a toad's belly. His head was monstrous and might also have been a reptile's. His belly was modeled after Desessarts', his prick after Guac's. (He was to embugger me – that had been decided in advance.) His glance was dreadful, his mouth disgusting, and his nose yet more so. Witerwell was there to occupy himself with my aunt's ample cunt.

  Round-shouldered and stooped, bandy-legged, red-haired, and rheumy about the eyes, the sixth and last was a tall man. He had a vaguely shaped, lumpy prick, exceedingly long. He had, however, brought along an auxiliary and a artificial member which, strapped into place, was to be used to embugger me. Perceawant was to be my ardent cousin's second lover.

  Night fell. I was put to bed. Each of these six originals fancied he was going to have the pleasure of plying the carving knife upon my unsliced flesh. Guac conducted me into the nuptial chamber and made as if to tuck me in, but he distributed us, one to a room, and the lights were extinguished. As for myself I remained up and walked about, providing each of my co-workers with a glowing portrait of the Prince Charming she was going to clasp in her arms. In all conscience I felt obliged to give them at least imaginary pleasures in the default of real ones. "My dearest," I said to my sister, "with what unlimited joy you'd sacrifice your night's quiet rest for me if only you could see the delicious young man who is to make gentle use of your sweet charms! He's a sylph, he's an Apollo, the very god of love, I assure you!" Next, I went to where the nun lay in great expectation. "You are going fully to sense the difference between the cot in your convent cell and a newlywed girl's bed," I told my mettlesome cousin. "A superb man, a majestic prick!" I betook myself to the room where my aunt was awaiting she knew not what. "Ah, you shall have your fill of what you love so, my dear Auntie: a matchless youth and perhaps two who desire me with all the passion of their young years. They're going to fuck me in your cunt, your burning cunt, and continue until their forces finally desert them. Think of it! Their pricks are solid; and so I advise you to grease yourself as though 'twere for the first time. Pretend to be a maid and swallow those enormous joints of beef." My aunt thanked me and besought me to bring these champions in with all possible despatch. I ran off to get her Towtenwit, the third.

  Leapt upon by the horror she fancied an angel, my timid sister sighed happily. I heard her being cunt-tongued, I heard it when she discharged. "I'm dying," she murmured.

  "How sweet your voice is, my beloved bride," Widewit whispered to her and he straightway climbed aboard and encunted her. Although depucelated, the poor little thing uttered a cry. I spoke from the doorway close at hand, to disguise her trouble and distract her fucker: that old monster was literally eating her alive, caressing her, fingering her everywhere; she discharged afresh. Thanks to me, she had just as much pleasure as if she had been fucked by Don Juan. Seeing that she was well enskewered, I went to find out how the nun was faring.

  Witplongeardow had decided not to employ his misshapen device, but rather his artificial one, and was nonetheless evoking groans from the poor martyr under his belly. I ran and informed Guac of what was happening. He came at once, plucked the villain from the breach and gave him a few cuffs. I heard him say in a very low voice: "Do you want to kill my wife, you scoundrel? Put in her cunt that damnable prick God gave you!" The fucker did as he was ordered and the fuckeress thenceforth knew pleasure only.

  Next, I repaired to my aunt's room. Owing to his awkwardness, Towtenwit had been so far unable to encunt her. I lowered my head to the pillow and, between sighs, said, "Ask my father to introduce it for you." Guac, who had followed me on tiptoes, arrived to negotiate the insertion, and subsequently all went well.

  Each of the three girls was twice cunt-fucked. Then, as though in concert, the three buggers wheeled as one and attacked the fort from the rear. Two of the three were therewith handselled asswise. My aunt naively supposed her cunt was about to be stuffed from behind, but the two others had not even as erroneous notion of what was about to befall them. Those three asses were pierced at the same instant and despite the instructions they had been given to avoid all outcry, they all screeched in chorus. "Oh! the anus!"

  My aunt: "Ah! The asshole!" No one paid the least attention to these protests. Happily, my sister had a large ass, consequently, she suffered less than the others. As for the Carmelite, whom Witplongeardow was buggering with his infamous member, she had a veritable yardstick in her entrails and could feel it nudging her navel. She suffered much pain from this rude intrusion, for he withdrew and plunged back in again brutally. She had no pleasure until he discharged and she felt the agreeable warmth of his fuck flow into her large intestine.

  My aunt was the worst treated by Towtenwit: her asshole was tight as her cunt was slack. His enormous prick was cleaving her in two. She gritted her teeth to stifle her curses. The discharged came at last, she imitated it with one of her own, his prick grew smaller, she felt much better.

  The three old lechers had had as much as they needed. Guac came to fetch them off their prey, and led them away without permitting the women a glimpse of the cr
eatures with whom they had been struggling. The three cunts were wiped and dried and set to rights, the beds were made, the sheets changed, the three brides were tucked in, again, and Guac brought in the three new actors.

  He and I deposited Witencon in the arms and upon the belly of my sister, by now somewhat toughened by the battle. She tenderly caressed the monster who encunted her, his prick guided by Guac to the mark (Guac took advantage of this opportunity to fondle and tickle my sister, which caused the poor little thing to tremble so that her fucker exclaimed, imagining me to be his auditor: "Ah, but you are a bloody little whore, aren't you!").

  In that Guac seemed to have forgot everything but his immediate problem – namely, cunt-stuffing my sister. I left him to his affairs and went on alone to arrange the two other men. Perceawant I gave to the nun and saw to it his own prick was erect. "'Tis a gentle hand indeed that touches me," said he, wishing to seize mine, but I eluded him. "Get your ass to quivering, buggress," he told his steed. "I'm entering your cunt. You can't get away from me now. I'm not your husband. I've paid hard cash to lie with you and depucelate you, and so you're my whore. Fuck, slut, and keep your ass in motion, that's what I've paid for." Guac heard him; he came in directly and seized him by the throat.

  "You've not fulfilled your end of the bargain, I need not fulfill mine. Get out of her, knave!"

  "Yes, but I was to have embuggered her!" And he charged into the Carmelite's ass despite the hail of blows Guac was showering upon him. The nun screamed like one of the damned.

  By this time I was at my aunt's bedside. I matched her with the massively outfitted Witerwell. He had contracted to embugger only, but the hot-blooded rascal he had beneath him herself directed his prick into her cunt. "Ah ha! So, wench, you're not a virgin after all," he declared (to me, he supposed). "How is it you know so much about prick-management? Well then, whore, if you are experienced, fuck like someone who knows a little of the world. Fuck, do you hear? For I've paid your pimp of a husband!" As she replied in earnest to all his thrusts, he went on, saying, "Ah, she's a whore, she is a whore, I say, she's what the others left me," and as he discharged he pinched and slapped her. She protested and defended herself. "Into your mouth it goes, bleeding whore that you are," he said, drawing out of her cunt. "And if you don't swallow my fuck to the last drop you'll wish you had!"

  Guac, having a moment ago driven out the nun's brutal fucker, after he'd been allowed to embugger her, now heard the hub-bub in my aunt's room and hastened thither. He apostrophized that unclean wretch Witenwell, gave him a powerful blow in the face. "You might at least wash yourself before sticking it in her mouth, dog! I never give my prick to be sucked, never, do you hear, without first washing it in rose water and soaking it in milk. Execrable bugger! You behave like that swine the Marquis de Sade. Are you trying to nauseate us all? You've broken the agreement, and you don't deserve to spend another minute here."

  "There are a hundred louis in my coat pocket," said Witerwell. "Take them in addition."

  "Wash yourself. Here's some rose water. Some milk's over here. Well, my dearest, you'll have to put up with whatever comes along. He's got a hundred louis in his pocket, just as he says."

  The old reprobate shouted like a lad of eighteen, enmouthed, embuggered, encunted, between-titted to his heart's delight. "Ah, by Jesus! What a whore they've given me!" Guac wished for nothing more than to prove to him he'd not got the partner he imagined, and, when Witerwell was finished and dressed, Guac escorted him to the door, passing down a hallway and leading him straight past where I happened to be, fully clothed. It was as though he had seen a ghost, for I sprang out of sight. "Oh, I've been cheated!" the monster roared. "Damn my eyes, he gave me a whore instead of his wife!" He swore and cursed till he had stamped out of the house. While these scenes were in progress I was observing my young sister's fuckery: The poor little thing was encunted, embuggered and enmouthed like the others by her paramour Witencon de la Cowillardière, who did not pause before he had exhausted his last particle of strength. He adored me; what finally did for him was that, when he felt himself drained dry, he had Doucette suck his prick (priorly very thoroughly washed in warm water) and kiss his balls. Again, he niched his prick and balls between her bubs and in the cleft between her buttocks, then he had his gland given a further sucking, wherewith he did get somewhat of an erection and promptly popped his device in Doucette's ass. He repeated this trick and, this last time, had a dry orgasm. He collapsed soon thereafter.

  I called for Guac who pried him loose from Doucette's ass. He was unconscious and in that state was borne to his carriage. Upon reaching home, liqueurs were given him in accordance with Guac's instructions to his footmen. Alcohol revived the aged libertine. "Ah," he cried, opening his eyes, "I am still alive, and I wanted to die in that asshole! I'm still hard. Go fetch her here, bring her to me. I've got to stuff her again and ... oh ... oh ... expire ... oh–" and, indeed, he did expire.

  "An heroic death!" Trait-d'Amour commented, and the whole company agreed it had been.

  Madame Guac's story continued. 'And that was how I passed the first night of my marriage. Guac was, upon his return, furious with lust. He wanted to embugger everyone in sight, then enmouth us; we disposed ourselves. He enmouthed me, embuggered my sister and cousin, encunted my aunt, who ached for a month from his huge prick's effects and was furthermore impregnated thereby, and that probably was what prevented Fysistère from buying her too.

  As for Guac, Madame Guac remains his mistress and his thick prick still fortifies me with its nourishing fuck. She'll be encunted by him soon after she's had her second child – he and Fysistère have agreed to that."

  No one ever knew how the fiery man with the tail discovered that Guac had hired me out on my marriage night. He arrived in a towering rage; he demanded to know where I was. I was in bed – such was Guac's reply. "I daresay," Fysistère muttered. "And a man has died of exhaustion in her arms."

  "She spent the entire night attending to her duties," Guac explained, "but they were not lethal. Her cousin, the nun, having been somewhat wooed during the day, was attacked by her hysterics in the course of the night – she had a nightmare in which she fancied she was being fucked. I was summoned to her room; being unable to encunt her, I embuggered her instead. As for my wife, she's asleep and you'll be able to ascertain by the freshness of her cunt and asshole that she's not been touched."

  "We'll have a look at the Carmelite to begin with."

  "She too is sleeping." But they went in search of her.

  Guac drew back her bedclothes and pulled up her nightgown without awakening her. She lay on her side, unable to rest on her back because of her smarting ass – it was in dreadful shape. "She looks rather bad to me. And her cunt?"

  "It was less seriously maltreated. I strained it, but not gravely, by my vain efforts. After that she frigged herself."

  "Now let's see the bride." They came into my room. I believe I had mentioned I knit up the raveled sleeve of care with a little repose preceded by a bath. My cunt and my asshole were found so appetizing and pretty that Fysistère kissed them both, then he informed the good Guac that he had a secluded dwelling where he planned to sequester us, my sister, my cousin, and me, during the whole of the time we produced children for him. When he looked in upon Doucette he found her dressed; she enchanted him.

  The next day he took the three of us away, saying that, until the time our pregnancies were well underway, no one would approach us and we would speak to no one save through a grilled window.

  Fysistère is extremely wealthy; he feeds Guac to the tune of twenty thousand pounds a year. My father receives forty thousand for my sister and my cousin. After a good supper, in the evening he has us all lie in a wide bed and he climbs into our midst. He fucks me first, then my sister, lastly the Carmelite. Each of us gets two successive discharges between which he never decunts. Then he returns to me, goes next to my sister, and soon, in a word, we are each given eight shots a night, meaning that Fysistère fire
s twenty-four times. While he is fucking one, the two others excite him, one attending to his sensitive tail, the other to his equally sensitive balls. That's how it was. We all three became pregnant simultaneously. He announced we were to have no more until we had given birth and finished nursing our offspring. He came here to Sens, he saw you, he fucked you, Madame, he married your eldest daughter, encunted your five other children, fucked your two nieces, got into your husband's bastard, raped your two servants, and made every last one of you pregnant. An unusual man. During the time he was operating here, we gave birth, nursed, found ourselves in a case to start in again, and he has fetched us here and he is going to fuck us some more. You too ought to try to be free – available, that is to say – when we are gravid once more. That way we will be fucked alternately.

  There you have our story. And now you know more about the man with the tail. I shall simply add that, when Monsieur Fysistère was not fucking us, we nevertheless did have desires to be fucked, and we satisfied them by resorting to my father, my uncle, and the stalwart Guac as well as to the solicitor and my first beau. They furbished us indiscriminately, Guac spilling his seed in our mouths, the others moistening our cunts. However, we all wanted Guac when the first pangs of labor began: his prick, as bulky as an infant, opened up the passage and his fuck greased it.

  After childbirth, we besought my father to hunt us up some pretty little boys not yet at the age of puberty, but capable of stout little erections, who would be able to keep our cunts from getting rusty. These youngsters were located. We used to oil their little members. They'd not discharge, but were able to keep us as clean as a whistle.

  The twelve women were greatly aroused by this narration and some of them got up and went forthwith to have Fysistère give their cunts a polishing. He was greatly surprised by their eagerness and fell to with a right good will. He used his tail as well as his prick, thus handling two at a time, one on top of him, the other beneath. When this storm had blown over Fysistère returned to his three tried and true women. But it was not long before they were all pregnant. Whereupon he requested them, and Madame Linars too, to find him three or four new companions while his original three remained hors de combat. Madame Guac managed all by herself to procure three for him: one was Tétonnette, a childhood friend; the others were two sisters: Bienouverte, tall and blond, and Dardenbouche, a pretty brunette, very affectionate and given to discharging like a fire hydrant. Tétonnette was one of those dark-haired but fair-skinned girls who are always found to have splendid breasts. Fysistère signed over twelve hundred pounds a year to each of Madame Guac's three discoveries, took upon himself the responsibility for their maintenance during the period of their fecundity, laid them side by side in the capacious bed and depucelated each eight times the first night. He began things with Dardenbouche, the youngest. She was so amourous, although a maid, that she replied to the initial prick-thrust with a veteran heave of her flanks. It was with nothing less than heroical courage she sustained the eight successive assaults. Next, Fysistère turned to Bienouverte. Her behavour was more reserved; she wept and exclaimed, although not very narrowly cunted, because, not discharging from the outset, he only mildly wetted her cunt. Nevertheless, she was a maid and acted like one. Despite her languor, she was fucked the standard eight times – Fysistère would have been mortified had he failed even by one to live up to his lights. After Bienouverte came Tétonnette. She was less readily penetrated than the former, but so deliciously did she go into the dance, her bubs were so appetizing, her cuntlet fitted so snugly, that she gave him quite as much pleasure as had Dardenbouche.