*
“Sir Hermes, is it? I’m so glad I found you.”
Hermes was moving between the stables and the outer bailey, heading back to check on a group of men he’d left with Ronan to work on battle tactics involving shields. He was in a hurry and not particularly paying attention to those around him, so Gar’s sudden appearance caught him by surprise.
“Me, my lord?” he asked, confused, as he came to a halt. “I am sorry, but I do not remember your name.”
“St. Ansgar de Geld,” Gar said. “I am Adria’s father.”
That brought the light of recognition. “Of course,” Hermes said. “I have seen you around over the past few days, but I could not place you.”
Gar waved him off. “No trouble at all,” he said. “I’ve not been very social since I’ve arrived. My daughter makes me stay mostly to my room, so I’ve not been out much. I’ve only been in the great hall once or twice.”
Hermes nodded, but he didn’t know why the man had stopped him. “Is there something I can do for you?”
Gar shrugged. “Possibly,” he said. “May I beg a moment of your time?”
Hermes could see the men fighting and he knew that that Ronan was expecting him, so he struggled for patience with a man he’d only met once, really. That had been some time ago, which is why he hadn’t recognized him. He’d certainly never had a conversation with him, so he had no idea what he could possibly want to speak with him about.
“I am afraid my time is very limited, my lord,” he said. “Mayhap we can speak tonight at sup.”
He started to walk away, but Gar followed him. “I only want to give you something to think on,” he said, shuffling after Hermes, who slowed down but didn’t stop altogether. “You can think about it and then we can speak when you have the time. Are you married, Sir Hermes?”
Hermes came to a stop, looking at him strangely. “Forgive me, my lord, but that is a rather personal question.”
Gar could see that he’d offended the man. “I realize that, but I am asking for a reason,” he said. “You see, my daughter is in need of a husband and if you are interested, I should like to know. If you are not married, then consider the prospect. She comes with the Alcester title and properties. We can speak more on it if you wish, but do not wait too long. Others are interested.”
With that, he darted off, back the way he’d come, leaving Hermes standing there, looking baffled. But once that confusion passed, Gar’s words sank in.
My daughter is in need of a husband if you are interested.
He’d been interested since he’d known Adria, but she’d made it clear that she wasn’t interested in him. She was more than willing to be a friend, but not a bride.
Still…
He hadn’t really tried to court her. He’d simply invited her to certain outings, offering to be her escort. He’d not really made his intentions clear because she’d made her intentions clear first. Maybe if he was able to be plain with her and explain himself, she might think differently. He really didn’t want to give up if there was any hope of a chance.
Especially if her father was actively seeking a betrothal for her.
With that lingering on his mind, Hermes resumed his walk towards the training group.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
He’d spent almost an hour with her.
Scott and Tarraby, whom he knew because the man had served at Castle Questing before he went to Carlisle, spent nearly an hour with Lily. They listened, poked, prodded, and asked questions. Lots of questions, mostly from Scott to Lily, who hadn’t wavered in any of her answers.
And that was concerning.
It was like putting the pieces of a puzzle together. Scott had conferred with Tarraby before they went to examine Lily and Tarraby had been precise in his assessment. In fact, Scott had been impressed with the man’s scope of knowledge, something he’d been acquainted with before, but not to this degree. As he’d told his mother, a pregnant woman was much different from a wounded soldier or a sickly man. It was specialized, something almost always attended to by other women. Midwives had the market cornered on pregnant women, so a male physic was rather unusual.
But this was an unusual case.
The more Scott heard and the more he saw, the more he disliked. He couldn’t contradict any conclusion Tarraby had come to, for he was seeing the signs, too. Most alarmingly, Lily’s pulse was rapid and weak, which could signal internal bleeding. She was cold to the touch on a day that was quite mild. It was the little things that led him to believe that Tarraby was correct in that she had done irreparable damage when she’d fallen in the mud.
And then, there was the child himself.
Tarraby had examined Lily every day since his initial diagnosis and he mentioned to Scott that he believed the child was weakening, too. The movements were becoming less powerful with the child and even Lily had commented that he seemed to be slowing down. That frightened her and they didn’t want her to be frightened, but she’d already made the decision that Tarraby was going to cut the child out of her body in the next few days. She was ticking the days off as they came. Her fear was that she couldn’t wait too much longer to save her child.
That was Tarraby’s fear, too.
But he would let Scott tell his son that.
Jordan had been in the chamber the entire time that Tarraby and Scott were examining Lily. She held Lily’s hand as the two men pored over her, trying to determine if she really was facing such a terrible situation. Jordan was comforting and reassuring, but every so often, Scott would look at her and she could see from his expression that the situation was dire.
Still, Jordan smiled at Lily and spoke of her own experience with pregnancy, nine times, speaking of the joys of it and the aches and pains. It was chatter to distract Lily from what Scott and Tarraby were doing and when they were finished, Jordan kissed Lily’s hand and let it go.
“Now,” she said. “I’ll chase the men out and ye can have a rest for a few minutes while I go tae the kitchens and find ye something tae eat.”
“You don’t have to,” Lily said, laying back on her pillows and looking weary. “Truly, I do not eat much these days. You do not have to feed me.”
“Of course I have tae feed ye,” Jordan said, sounding as if she were scolding. “No wonder ye’re tired and the bairn is sluggish. If ye dunna eat, how are ye supposed take keep up yer strength?”
Lily didn’t really have an answer for her and Jordan’s mothering manner essentially had her whipped into submission. But she was grateful for it. Leaving Lily lying in bed, Jordan followed Scott and Tarraby out of the chamber and down the stairs.
Will was waiting in the small hall below. Sitting at one of the feasting tables, he had his head down, looking at his hands, but when he heard the footsteps, he looked up to see them coming from the stairwell.
“Well?” he asked his father, standing up. “What did you find?”
Scott indicated the seat Will had been sitting in. “Sit down,” he said. “I’ll send your grandmother for food for Lily while you and I speak.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Jordan said, moving to plant herself next to Will. “I saw what ye were doing and I saw the look on yer face. Ye have something tae say and I want tae hear it.”
Scott eyed his mother, resigning himself to the fact that he couldn’t get rid of her, so he sat down opposite his son. Tarraby sat down beside him.
For a moment, he simply looked at Will, trying to find the words.
“You were right to call me,” he finally said. “Before I examined Lily, I spoke with Tarraby at length so I knew why he’d come to his diagnosis. I wanted to see the same things he did so I could understand his reasoning.”
“And did you?”
Scott hesitated a moment before nodding. “I did,” he said with some sorrow. “My expertise is not in women, Will. I can only observe and use my knowledge to make a diagnosis but, in this case, it was difficult. The problem is that we cannot see into Lily’s belly t
o see what is really happening. All I can tell you is that I have listened to Tarraby and I have understood the symptoms. I can also tell you that Lily’s heartbeat is fast and weak, and the fact that she is cold to the touch is indicative of a weakness of blood.”
Will was listening intently. “What does that mean, weakness of blood?”
“It means that she is bleeding somewhere that we cannot see.”
“You know that for certain?”
“I have seen it before with wounded men. Tarraby also says that he believes Lily is growing weaker as well. Have you noticed that?”
Will shrugged helplessly. “I do not know,” he said. “She has been sleeping a good deal. I suppose I didn’t stop to realize that it meant she was growing weaker, but she must be.”
“That is what Tarraby thinks.”
Will let that sink in. His father seemed to be confirming Tarraby’s diagnosis and he felt sick to his stomach. There was a large part of him that was hoping Tarraby was wrong, but with Scott confirming the diagnosis, it was evident that Tarraby had been right all along. After a moment, he hung his head.
“Then Tarraby was right,” he said. “She has mortally injured herself.”
Scott nodded. “I believe so,” he said. “I am so sorry, Will. Something like this… it is so unexpected.”
“And there is nothing to be done?”
Scott looked at Tarraby, who shook his head. “Nay,” Scott said. “I would not even know where to start. She’s bleeding inside her womb and there is no way to save both her and the child.”
“But we can save one of them,” Will said hoarsely.
“What do you mean?”
He lifted his gaze, looking at his father. “She wants to save the baby, Papa,” he said. “Tarraby said that it is possible to take the child from her. It will not save Lily, but it may save the baby. Now that you’ve seen Lily, do you agree that we could save the child?”
Scott wasn’t sure. He’d never seen it done. After a moment, he simply shook his head. “I do not know,” he said honestly. “If Tarraby seems to think so, then I will trust him.”
Will was feeling such sorrow. Deep, saddening sorrow. There had been hope when his father had arrived, but that hope was gone.
He looked at Tarraby.
“Tell me what is involved in taking the child,” he said, trying to be brave and rational. “And why can you not save Lily in the process? I do not understand why.”
Tarraby could see that all eyes were on him, family members of the young woman with the death sentence hanging over her head. He tried to be as careful as possible when describing what had to happen in order to save the child.
“Right now, Lady de Wolfe is bleeding into her womb,” he said, using his hands to illustrate what was happening. “The nourishment sack has created an open wound that is bleeding. When I cut into her belly to remove the child, all of that blood will escape and more besides. She will bleed far too much before I am able to sew her back up again. There will simply be too much blood loss and no way to replace any of it.”
Will sighed heavily as he got a mental picture of what Tarraby was describing. “Does it matter where you cut into her?” he asked. “Mayhap if you cut on the top of her belly, the blood will not have a chance to escape.”
He was gesturing to the top of his abdomen area, but Tarraby shook his head. “All of the blood in her belly has nowhere to go,” he said. “It cannot go back into the body. If we leave it there, it will simply drain out another way when she is no longer pregnant and the womb no longer closed off. I wish there was another answer to this, but there is not. I am very sorry, my lord.”
“Can we not drain it out and put it back into her somehow?”
Both Tarraby and Scott shook their heads. “I would not know how,” Tarraby said. “It cannot be done.”
Will stared at them a moment before lowering his head again. He’d asked the same questions he’d asked before and was getting the same answers. Nothing had changed. That meant there were no alternatives, but that didn’t stop him from asking one last time.
“And you are certain?” he whispered.
“Aye, my lord.”
“Do you feel the child is in danger the longer we wait?”
“Most definitely, my lord. Already, he is slowing.”
Will grunted softly, closing his eyes briefly. Then, he looked at his hands for quite some time, contemplating what needed to be done, before speaking again. “We must try to save him sooner rather than later,” he said. “But I want to make sure that Lily does not feel any pain when you cut into her belly. Can you make it so?”
Scott could hear the anguish in his voice and it was a struggle not to react. “We have nothing to give her that will take the pain away if that is what you are asking,” he said. “We have nothing to make her go to sleep while the deed is done.”
Will looked at him. “Then just how do you propose to accomplish this?” he asked, growing agitated. “Do you just cut into her while we hold her down and she screams in pain until she bleeds to death in front of us?”
Scott watched his son wrestle with the horror of what he was facing. “A sharp blow to the head will knock her unconscious,” he said. “Do it hard enough and she will remain unconscious until the end. I am sorry I cannot offer anything better than that, but that is the truth of it.”
Will grunted at that brutal solution, raking an agitated hand through his hair. “That is better than letting her bite on a leather strap as Tarraby cuts into her,” he said, upset. “I do not want her to feel anything.”
Jordan, who had been watching the exchange, could see how it had the potential to go badly. Will was growing upset and rightfully so. Reaching out, she put a gentle hand on his wrist.
“Ye’ll knock her out yerself,” she said quietly. “Dunna trust the job to any other man. In fact, dunna tell her what ye plan. Dunna tell her what day. Let her believe she is in control of her destiny when, in fact, it will be ye. ’Tis the merciful thing tae do, lad.”
Will looked at her. “What do you mean, Matha?”
Matha was what all the de Wolfe grandchildren called Jordan. It meant “mother” in Gaelic and Will had been the first one to use the term. Now, he was using that term in a way that made Jordan feel like protecting him. There was anguish in his tone. She wanted to wrap that enormous man up in her arms and protect him, but she knew she couldn’t. Therefore, she forced a smile at her eldest grandchild who looked like her husband through the eyes, his father through the cheeks, and his mother in the mouth. He was the best of all of them, now having to go through what no man should have to go through.
But he was strong enough.
She knew that without a doubt.
“Lily believes she has several more days until this is tae happen,” she said calmly and quietly. “Can ye imagine knowing that ye only had a handful of days tae live? The closer she comes tae the end, the more upset she’ll be. Ye heard yer da and Tarraby tell ye that the child is growing weaker. If ye want tae save him, then ye canna wait much longer. Pick the day, Will. Mayhap in two days, mayhap in three. Dunna tell Lily. Let her enjoy the day. Take her out of the keep and intae the fields. Let her feel the grass and smell the air. Let her watch Atticus run and play. Let her feel alive one last time. Then bring her back and while her attention is elsewhere, hit her across the back of the head with the butt of yer sword. And that will be the end of it. Let her last memory be one of a beautiful day and of her frolicking child. If that was my last day on earth, ’twould make me happy.”
Tears were streaming down Will’s face by the time she was finished because he knew she was right. He didn’t want Lily being in distress when her self-imposed deadline came. That meant he had to make the decision for her, sooner rather than later.
That meant he had to help ease his wife into the next world.
“Oh, God, Matha,” he said, putting his face in his hands. “Has it come to this? If this was happening to you, would Poppy have the courage to d
o it?”
Jordan smiled faintly. “There’s more tae marriage than children and politics,” she said. “There’s real love. There’s a love for Lily, as yer wife, as a mortal woman, as someone ye respect and value. If ye love Lily, then ye’ll do it. Ye must help end her suffering.”
Will almost said something, but he bit his tongue. No, he didn’t love Lily the way a husband should love a wife, but he wasn’t going to voice that, at least not to all of them. In the end, it really didn’t matter. But as a friend, he did love her. As a human being, he respected her. She was the mother of his children.
He didn’t want to see her suffer.
“If you think it is the right thing to do,” he said hoarsely, wiping at his cheeks. “I think if she knew our reasoning, she would agree with it. She’s stronger than you know.”
Jordan reached up, wiping an errant tear from his face. “I know she is,” she said softly. “And so are ye.”
“I don’t feel so strong.”
“Ye are,” Jordan said, patting his cheek. With nothing more to say, at least nothing more she could say, she stood up stiffly. “Now, I’m going tae go tae the kitchens and find her something tae eat. And then I’m going tae sit with her for a while.”
With Will’s help, she climbed over the bench and headed out of the keep. Will sat there with his father and Tarraby, thinking of what lay ahead. After a moment, he looked over at Tarraby.
“Thank you for your assistance,” he said. “Know that I am grateful. But I would like to speak to my father alone now.”
Tarraby immediately rose and moved quickly out of the hall. When Will and Scott were alone, Will looked over at his father.
“Thank you for coming, Papa,” he said softly. “Thank you for confirming what Tarraby believes. I know it is not easy for you.”
Scott forced a smile. “Don’t worry about me,” he said. “But, Will… I’ve been through a dead wife before. I did not behave nobly when your mother died. I realize you were fostering at the time and didn’t know all of it, but you do know I ran. I ran away from everything and everyone I knew. I could not deal with what had happened, something I blamed myself for.”
WolfeLord: de Wolfe Pack Generations Page 17