by Kat Mizera
“I understand,” she said finally, moving closer to him. “Just tell me what you need me to do.”
“Just love me,” Toli whispered under his breath.
“Hey, I’m hungry!” Anton called out. “Is there anywhere we can get a steak? I’m about done with borscht and boiled potatoes.”
Toli chuckled. “Yes, we can find good food here. Are you hungry?” He looked down at Tessa.
“I could eat,” she said, wishing they had more time alone.
“Let’s go.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “We’ll talk more later.”
Two days before they were supposed to leave, Toli finally got the message he’d been waiting for. He made sure Tessa and the kids were sleeping soundly before shutting the hotel room door behind him as quietly as he could. Wearing running shorts, a T-shirt and sneakers, he took the stairs down to street level and slipped outside. Looking around, he jogged to the corner and then turned down an alley. He cut the corner and came out on a quiet, mostly residential street with small restaurants and shops that were closed in the predawn hour. He recognized one café on the corner that had lights on and he walked in cautiously.
“Good morning.” An older woman called out a greeting from behind the counter. “We’re not open yet.”
“I’m here to see Grisha,” Toli said, meeting her gaze.
The woman paled slightly, but nodded briskly and disappeared into the back.
Toli sank into the nearest chair, tapping his fingers nervously. He didn’t know what to expect, but after receiving a strange, almost threatening phone message that demanded he meet Grisha here, he’d had no choice but to come. Worried about Tessa, Raina and Anton, he figured his only choice was to agree. Part of him was nervous, but he needed answers about what had happened at the wedding and to find out if there was a possibility they were going to come after him. His father had been furious when he’d discovered what Toli had done and had warned him that although he would try, he didn’t know if he could help him with this after so many years of pretending that the two of them didn’t get along. Toli wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do, but now that he was here he wanted to know why he’d basically offered himself up to the KGB and they’d blown him off after agreeing to help. He’d asked for protection from Marco in exchange for a very large monetary donation. Grisha had said they would discuss payment after the fact, but they hadn’t shown up at all, Marco had wreaked havoc on his wedding, and now he had to ascertain whether or not they thought he owed them something anyway. One way or another, he had to sort this out.
The husky middle-aged man who came out of the back eyed Toli with the same wariness that Toli felt, but Toli refused to blink. He met the older man’s gaze without wavering, narrowing his eyes slightly. The man lit a cigarette with heavily tattooed fingers and sank into the chair across from him.
“Anatoli Petrov,” he said in a deep voice. “I am honored you’ve come to my humble café.”
“I wasn’t given much choice,” Toli said dryly.
“One always has a choice.”
Toli leaned back without saying anything.
“You have questions?”
“Actually, I want answers,” Toli replied.
The man raised his eyebrows. “Answers? Perhaps the questions are then better left unasked.”
“I don’t know what you think I am,” Toli said quietly. “But I’m not a fool. I called and asked for a service I was willing to pay for. Instead, I was told services would be rendered but I was shot at my own wedding and now I’ve been summoned to a meeting for reasons that are unclear to me.”
“Sometimes services are not rendered solely for money.” Grisha didn’t break eye contact. “Perhaps something other than money is required.”
“Regardless, no services were rendered,” Toli said. “Listen, I know how this works and it was a chance I was willing to take to protect the people I love—but since I didn’t get the protection I asked for, I’m not sure why I’m here.”
Grisha laughed, blowing out a ring of smoke and watching as it disappeared up towards the ceiling. “You think you understand how this works? Obviously you understand nothing or you would not have come to Russia.” He fixed his gaze on Toli. “You know how long we’ve been watching you, waiting for a moment of weakness?”
“Yet when given the opportunity to force me into a position where I would owe you, you chose not to help. I want assurance I can walk away from this.”
“That is definitely not how this works.”
“I was told I could trust you, but I guess that’s not true. You’re not going to help me, so I’m out of here.”
“It is more complicated than this. Once you become involved—”
Toli narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t become involved! I tried to, but I was almost killed, so I think that clears me of any debt. And if you go after me or my family, I already have precautions in place to expose everything.”
Grisha shook his head. “This is not the way to handle it, Toli. You cannot make enemies of these people.”
“I’ve spent my entire life running from invisible enemies,” Toli hissed under his breath. “I was always watched, pressured in ways I could never understand. It took me a long time to see what my father was involved in but I do now and—”
“You see nothing.” Grisha took a deep drag of his cigarette. “If you understood, you would never have come to Moscow. You’ve put yourself and your young family in great danger. I do not know if I can protect you this time.”
“This time?!” Toli’s head shot up and he glared at him. “When the hell have you ever protected me? Certainly not the night I was shot!”
Grisha scowled. “You think your freedom in America has been without cost? Do you think the charade you and your father play fools everyone? If not for me, this game would have ended long ago!”
Toli narrowed his eyes. “What the fuck does that mean?!”
“Your father did me a great favor once,” the older man said after a moment. “In return, I promised to keep his sons out of a life neither of us enjoyed. But now you’ve opened the door, Toli, and I’m afraid I cannot close it.”
“I may have opened the door, but they slammed it in my face, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s fucking closed.”
“That’s not how it works.”
Toli set his jaw, his mind racing. Though his father had worked with the KGB in the 70s and 80s, that organization disbanded in 1991. His work had continued with one of the new factions—either the Foreign Intelligence Service of the Russian Federation, the SVR, or the Main Intelligence Directorate, the GRU. Toli really hadn’t paid attention to the politics in his country once he moved to the U.S. so he wasn’t sure what they did or what the difference was. He’d always been immersed in hockey and his father had worked hard to keep him and Sergei from getting involved, so now he was a bit overwhelmed. If either the SVR or the GRU wanted something from him, and had been waiting a long time for the opportunity to get it, he had no idea what to do next. He’d all but put himself on a silver platter for them by making that phone call just before the wedding, and had they held up their end of the deal, he would have grudgingly done what was necessary to pay his debt. However, the fact that they hadn’t shown up, and allowed him and Erin to get shot, made him wonder what was really going on. This went further and deeper than anything he could wrap his mind around, and his focus now was getting Tessa, Raina and Anton out of the country. Though they undoubtedly could get to him in the U.S. as well, it was a lot easier here. Once he got his family home safely, he would go to his father and deal with whatever was going on.
“Your mind is going in many directions,” Grisha said after a moment. “Whatever you are thinking, there is no easy solution; you will have to make sacrifices.”
“I’m not sacrificing my family,” he said. “So you might as well tell me what’s expected of me.”
“I do not know,” Grisha admitted. “But when the time comes, I will do all that I can to help.”<
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“I just don’t understand why they didn’t send the protection that I asked for?”
The older man frowned. “I am not sure either, Toli. I made arrangements but those men have disappeared. My superiors have not shared anything more with me. I am as confused as you are.”
“My father doesn’t know either?”
“Your father has been undercover for many years—all your life—and probably has favors he can use. Unfortunately, this is all I know. If I can find out more, I will contact you. Until then, live your life.”
As if someone had flipped a switch on their private conversation, the door to the café opened and a couple came in calling out greetings and taking a table. The woman Toli had seen when he first arrived came out of the back, smiling and bustling about as her workday began.
“My son,” Toli said slowly. “Whatever this is cannot touch my son.”
“Your father can protect your son. That is all I can promise.”
Toli let out a frustrated sigh as he got to his feet. “I guess that will have to do. Thank you.”
“Toli.” Grisha’s voice was soft but intent.
Toli turned.
“Be careful, yes?”
Toli turned and headed back to the hotel.
Toli had bought Tessa three dresses for the wedding; one for the marriage ceremony, one for the formal part of the reception and then one for the end, when they had been planning to party long into the night. Tessa’s second dress had been destroyed, covered in Toli’s blood when he’d been shot, but the third dress had never even been worn, so that was the one she brought with her to Moscow for their Russian reception. It felt odd to be putting it on now, nearly three weeks after the actual wedding, but she loved it just as much as she had when he bought it for her. Though she’d picked the actual wedding dress and kept it hidden from him, they’d shopped for the other dresses together and she had to admit he had wonderful taste.
Stepping into the gold Jimmy Choo shoes he’d bought her for Christmas last year, she momentarily felt like a princess all over again, but the feeling faded quickly. She was grateful he was okay, but right now she couldn’t help but feel angry that she’d been cheated out of her wedding day. The ceremony had been perfect but thinking about the reception still made her cringe. And this trip to Russia hadn’t helped. Toli had warned her he would behave a little differently while they were here, but she hadn’t expected him to be so cold. Even in bed last night he’d seemed almost rushed when he made love to her, as though he was going through the motions until he could focus on whatever was on his mind. She didn’t understand it and it had begun to scare her a little. He’d been even more distant when he’d come back from his run this morning and she hadn’t been able to get him to talk to her about whatever was bothering him. He’d simply kissed the top of her head and told her he wasn’t looking forward to the spectacle that this evening’s reception was bound to turn into. Then he’d gone to the bathroom and had been distracted the rest of the day.
Slowly applying her lipstick, she was glad Anton had taken Raina next door while she and Toli finished getting ready because she was a nervous wreck and Raina was sure to pick up on it. She’d been hoping she and Toli would have a few minutes to talk privately before the big party tonight, but he’d been on the phone since Anton had taken Raina. First to Sergei, then to his mother, and finally to someone else she wasn’t sure about, all the conversations spoken in Russian. She picked up a few words that were familiar, like “party” and “wedding,” but most of it went too fast for her to follow. Finally, bored and annoyed, she’d locked herself in the bathroom. She’d put up her hair in a loose chignon, done her makeup, put on her beautiful dress and shoes, and was looking around for the diamond earrings Toli had given her the day he’d come home from the hospital. They were supposed to have been a gift on their wedding night, he’d told her.
She opened the bathroom door and walked into the main room, looking around for the travel-sized jewelry case she’d packed. Had Toli put it in the safe? She headed towards the closet where it was housed and squatted down so she could put in the code. She could hear Toli’s voice and was startled to realize he was standing in the hallway with the door to their suite propped open, speaking in English.
“I don’t know.” Toli’s voice was strained. “She’s been difficult since we’ve been here and I wish she would just…”
Tessa sat up, listening intently, a frown on her face. Toli’s voice had faded at the end so she couldn’t hear what he wanted her to do. Had she been difficult? Did he want her to go home? Surely her sweet, wonderful husband wasn’t talking about her, was he?
“Of course she’s noticed! She’s not stupid.”
Thanks, Tessa thought wryly.
“She’d never willingly move,” Toli said in a voice filled with resignation. “I guess I have a big decision to make…and I don’t know if there’s a solution everyone can live with.”
Tessa’s mouth fell open and she blinked rapidly. Was he really talking about her? Was he going to divorce her if she didn’t move to Russia?! Without thinking, she jumped to her feet and hurried back to the bathroom without her earrings. She softly shut the door behind her and took a deep breath. What the hell was going on? He’d been distant and cold for the last few days and suddenly all the little things were beginning to look like they might be adding up to something much bigger. She hadn’t believed Phil when he’d said Toli was planning to move back to Russia, but now she wasn’t so sure. Had he lured her here with the intention of making her stay? Technically, he had another two years on his Sidewinders contract, and he was required to be at games even if he was hurt. Toli was too frugal with money, despite their outlandish wedding, to walk away from a contract like the one he had. She thought she knew everything about him but could feel doubt creeping in.
“Sweetheart, we have to get going.” Toli knocked lightly on the door and opened it, pausing to stare at her. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful,” he breathed, reaching for her.
“Thank you.” She tried to smile as she gently pulled away and turned to the mirror. “Would you get my diamond earrings from the safe please?”
He frowned at her obvious rejection but nodded. “Of course.”
She put her hands on the counter and willed them to stop shaking. This was Toli. There was no way he expected her to move to Russia. He wouldn’t leave Anton and he wouldn’t force her to make a choice like this. He wouldn’t. She repeated it over and over until he brought her the earrings and she managed to put them in.
“Every man in Moscow is going to be jealous tonight,” he said softly, his fingers trailing a path down the slope of her neck.
“Don’t be silly,” she said in a breathy voice.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” He searched her face worriedly.
“Of course.” She brushed past him. “Let me make sure I have everything I need for Raina.”
Chapter 8
They headed downstairs to wait for the limousine and Tessa paced nervously.
“If anyone asks you for money,” Toli was telling Anton, “tell them you don’t have any. Did you lock your wallet in the safe?”
“Of course, but do you really think our family would take something from me?” Anton asked in surprise.
“Probably not, but many are bringing dates so who knows? And they would absolutely take your credit card just to see how much they could spend…Trust me, not everyone that’s coming is family or a close friend.”
“Then why are they coming?” Tessa asked, scowling.
“Because my father deemed it necessary.”
“I’m not particularly excited about this anymore,” Tessa murmured.
“Toto!” Raina reached up her arms to him and he got down on his haunches to look into her eyes.
“You know Toli has a boo-boo,” he said, pointing to his arm. “I can’t pick you up right now. Soon, I promise.”
“How about Anton?” Anton said, holding out his arms.
She made a face but reluctantly walked into his outstretched arms.
They gathered their things as the limo pulled up and Tessa crawled in feeling almost weary as she tried to mull over everything. It had been a strange few days and overhearing him on the phone only made her doubt everything about the man she’d just married. They’d done all the things she might have expected to do on a vacation: sightseeing, time with Toli’s friends, dinners with family and shopping. Skating together had been one of the highlights, despite Raina’s bathroom accident. Tessa had loved gliding around the ice, his strong hand around hers, forgetting about all the misery since their ill-fated reception. Yet something had been off since they’d arrived in Moscow. Toli was not himself and though his touch still reminded her of the man she’d fallen in love with, the rest of the time he was not at all her big, goofy Russian. His brief explanation in Red Square of what was going on had unsettled her instead of reassuring her, and they hadn’t had an opportunity to talk again. He insisted they not talk when they were in their hotel room, and that was essentially the only time they were alone.
Tonight he was quiet, almost aloof, and while he still said all the right things, their connection had become strained over the last couple of days. He didn’t tell corny jokes or revert back to speaking in third person to make her laugh, and whenever they were with his father, he was more tense than she’d ever seen him. Today they’d had a couples’ massage while Anton watched Raina and then they’d all swam in the indoor pool. Yet the moment they got back to the room and started getting ready, Toli had become quiet and distant again. Sitting in the limo now, she glanced at his profile and saw that he’d already morphed into cool, stoic Toli and she let out a sigh of displeasure.
He looked down at her. “What’s wrong?”
“You’re back to being Russian Toli, the one I don’t understand.”
“I’m sorry. I told you—”