Keep Your Crowbar Handy

by SP Durnin

  "What??"

  Kat rolled her eyes. "Laurel, obviously. Duh. Rae wouldn't mind taking you for a test drive, either."

  "Rae?" Jake asked incredulously. "Why would you think…"

  "Um, hello? Gave you a Hummer? No pun intended," she said. "Besides, she keeps looking at your ass. I caught her at it four times the day we arrived, for heaven's sake."

  Jake was speechless.

  The dark-haired, ninja girl smiled. "But that's because I stare at it too. Then again, I stare at everyone's ass. It's a cat thing."

  He frowned. "I thought that was a dog thing."

  "No, no, no. Sniffing everyone's ass is a dog thing. Cats watch."

  He thought about that. "So...you've been watching me?"

  "Of course," Kat admitted. "I did kind of promise Laurel, you know."

  He looked at her narrowly, pushing her wrists up until her arms were extended over her head. "That's not what I meant."

  His eyes had long ago adjusted to the darkness during his time on the rooftop, so he clearly saw the way Kat's face went blank before she answered.

  "What do you think?" she asked, quietly.

  Jake sank lower, until the lengths of their bodies were pressed together. He'd removed his tac-vest earlier and she never wore one, so he could feel her curves molding against him as her breath quickened. They were almost nose-to-nose now. Looking at Kat from less than a foot away, he clearly saw something hurt and broken move behind her eyes.

  Something Jake was certain he recognized.

  He hovered over her, watching as she swallowed and her lips parted, allowing her breath to brush over his face. He bent down, holding her eyes with his own and made hesitant contact with Kat's lips. The kiss was slow and cautious, like the way you would stretch a painfully tight muscle the day after you'd pulled it. Something stirred in his brain, and their kiss slowly deepened as her free leg curled over the back of Jake's thigh.

  Releasing her wrists, he put an elbow to the ground to support his weight, while sliding his other hand down her arm. After gliding along her ribs, he continued over the skin of her waist and left hip. Kat sighed into his mouth as his fingers ran over the outer seam of her leathers to the bend of her knee, then pulled her thigh up over his buttock. Her lips continued pulling gently against him, while her fingers traveled under his shirt to take in the feel of his flesh. The muscles in Jake's back were solid smoothness, and she pulled his shirt up over his head so she could touch more. He allowed her to strip off the garment, and she ran her eyes over his upper body, followed closely by her hands. Then Kat wrapped her arms under his shoulders and drew her thumbs down the length of his spine, sending shivers through his frame.

  He was starting to have problems remembering how to breathe. Her mouth was becoming more demanding and her fingers left hot trails across his back wherever they touched his skin. Jake worked his lips under her jaw, down her neck (no hardship there) and along her collarbone as she continued to run her hands over him.

  Kat honestly believed her brain was going to explode when he pushed the straps of her cut off shirt and purple bra over her right shoulder. He didn't try to yank her top off, (Like I just did to him, she thought. Oops...) or attempt to bare her awkwardly to the world. Jake continued brushing her skin with his lips until he reached the place where her shoulder and upper torso met. He took the soft flesh where the mound of her breast began between his teeth, biting her lightly, which caused Kat to inhale sharply, and her hands moved to caress their way to the back of his neck.

  When he began moving left along the top curve of her breast towards her sternum, she was losing her resolve quickly. Kat had promised herself that she wouldn't make a move on him. Both for his sake and Laurel's. With everything else they had to deal with—trying not to starve, murdering hillbillies, zombies, those kinds of things—adding an emotional triangle would just be too much. But Jake was right here. Their bodies were straining to come together and his lips moved to hers again and she could feel him under her hands and...

  Oh, to hell with it.

  She threw herself wholeheartedly into the kiss. If they died tomorrow, next week, next month, at least she'd have him once.

  Jake knew he had real feelings for Laurel. What surprised him was that he was developing them for Kat as well. While he enjoyed the time spent with his red-haired firebrand, there was no question that he looked forward to spending time with the pretty and dangerous, dark-haired woman clutching at him now. Even if half the time he believed she was out of her mind. Jake couldn't complain, really. The other half of the time, he thought he was crazy too.

  He pulled back and looked into the dark pools that the night transformed her eyes into. Kat's irises were dilated fully, either from lack of light or desire, and he kissed her again to keep from falling helplessly into them. She squirmed beneath him so he pushed himself up, thinking to give her room to move away, and got a surprise.

  She was lost. The sight of him suspended over her, cords in his chest clenching visibly in the shadows of the rooftop...

  Kat pulled her tank top off, and his eyes widened. Granted, she was still wearing a bra and he'd seen the twins on the night of the outbreak. He'd unknowingly walked in on her and Al, just before they'd engaged in some hot monkey lovin'. But he'd never had them aimed exclusively in his direction, prior to now. She sat up partially and brought her mouth to his again, as she reached a hand back to release her lacy, purple, Demi cup.

  Jake realized if she managed to unhook that bra, there wouldn't be any turning back. He took hold of her wrist again as the first hook released and moved it down to the small of her back. Kat tried pulling out of his grasp, determined to free the last eyehook and send them both gleefully howling down the path to disaster. He also knew if he retained the hold on her arm, he'd end up hurting her before she'd stop, so he needed a distraction. He slid lower, avoiding her breasts, and bit her lightly along the line of her ribs.

  Kat stopped going for the bra clasp and took a shaky breath through clenched teeth as her back arched. She moved her hands down to grip Jake's shoulders again, so he continued over the flat lines of her stomach. Her fingers twined through his hair as he ran his tongue through the hollow between her hip and oblique, causing her to shudder. Then Kat looked down at him and her eyes steamed.

  Oh, that was the wrong thing to do, he thought.

  Pulling him away from her stomach, Kat came to her knees and locked their lips together again. Jake wrapped her up in his arms as their tongues fenced lightly, and she slid her hands slowly down his back. Her fingers went under the edge of his Khakis up to her knuckles but, thanks to his belt, couldn't move any lower. She began sliding them around the line of his waist, inching her way forward, but was still unable to get her hands fully past the web belt and literally into his pants.

  The situation was about to get out of control.

  He pulled her tight against his body, trapping her insistent hands between the two of them, then slowly broke off the kiss and watched as she came back to herself.

  "What's wrong?"

  Jake sighed regretfully. "I can't, Kat."

  She looked at him like he'd just grown a third head. Jake gave her a steady look, and she slumped against his chest, hands coming out of his waistband and settling lightly on his hips.

  "I know," she said woodenly.

  "I'm sorry." He took her face between his hands and brought her eyes up to meet his own again. "If you want me to be frank, I'm also reasonably certain I'm going to be kicking myself every day for the rest of my life for missing all the chances to let you have your way with me. I don't think you know how utterly magnificent you are. I blame every asshole you've ever dated, ever for that."

  Those dark eyes of hers searched his face, then Kat grinned slowly. "So, I'm going to be on your mind for the rest of your life?"

  "Um. Yeah." He brushed his hands lightly down the outsides of her arms. "I'd say that sums it up."

  Her head tilted to one side as she considered that.
The expression on her face made Jake decidedly uncomfortable, as her eyes roved over his body. Kat smiled, retrieved her cutoff shirt and donned it again. She caught him watching as she pulled the thin fabric over her head and her smile grew wider. He actually broke into a sweat when she passed her hands lingeringly over her breasts, smoothing the shirt to her appealing curves once more.

  "I like the thought of that," Kat said, then kissed him briefly and stepped to the skylight. Taking hold of the fire-hose, she looked back at him over her shoulder. "See you in the morning, hero."

  Then she slid easily down the hose, into the building, and out of sight.

  "I'm not a hero," he called after her quietly, still leery of making noise that could attract the dead.

  "Whatever you say," Kat replied, then her light footfalls faded towards the rear of the building.

  Jake pulled his CBGB shirt back on and checked the surrounding area again through his Starlight scope. The distant ghouls still shambled north on Highway 35, but other than that all he saw were a few deer picking their way between the nearby trees.

  Sitting again, his back pressed against the wall along the roof's edge, Jake decided he would never understand women.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Elle relieved Jake at 4:00 a.m.

  She'd made a very good case as they argued about him getting some sleep in hushed tones. He'd been going for better than 24 hours straight and he needed to be sharp when they hit the road in the morning. From the don't act like an ass, sir look on her face, the pretty, blonde sergeant wasn't going to drop the subject, either. So in short order, he was snoozing, stretched across a pallet of bagged peat moss down in the storeroom.

  He woke suddenly, shocked awake by some sleep-borne terror that fled as soon as he opened his eyes. Try as he might though, he couldn't remember what the nightmare was about. The low light revealed Kat snuggled up against his left side, one arm wrapped around his waist, fast asleep. Her head was pillowed on his shoulder, face a picture of serenity. Jake watched her for a while, thinking fervently (again) that Allen was a damn fool. How could his friend have opted for Heather, pretty though she was, over this woman sleeping next to him?

  Jake's fingers began itching to caress her face, and he realized he should get up off the pallet before he did something stupid. Again.

  Cupping her head with his right hand, Jake carefully slid from under her arm. He grabbed a bundle of gardening gloves from the shelf and, ever so gently, laid her cheek on the rose-patterned fabric.

  Kat stirred slightly. "Hhmm?"

  He smoothed away hairs that had fallen across her face back over one delicate ear. "Everything's fine, Kat. Go back to sleep."

  "Mmm-kay..." She sighed, nowhere near awake.

  As he moved to stand, she murmured, "Love you."

  Jake stood there with his mouth hanging open. No one had told him that in a very long time. Even with how close the two of them had become, Laurel had yet to actually say that. He stared at the dreaming ninja-girl, unable to speak if his life depended on it, in a state very near to shock. Finally, his brain reengaged. After donning his tac-vest, he grabbed a beef stew MRE from the Hummer and retrieved his M4 from beside the pallet where Kat still slept. As he entered the showroom proper, Jake could hear someone moving around in the bathroom while he opened the vacu-pack and began eating government-issue nutrition. Gwen came out shortly, hair damp and looking much better than she had the day before.

  The trim woman wore clothes much like Kat's, sans the cut off tank-top, looking like a Roger Corman style, wet dream. Biker pants, Born To Ride shirt (four sizes too small, of course) with a cartoon pig riding a flaming Harley emblazoned on the front. The group had taken half a dozen pairs of the more expensive biker boots when they'd procured the trailer and the motorcycles. Kat insisted it was only looting if someone alive was actually there to loot from. Now, three months after the end of the world? It was termed, salvage.

  "Morning," Jake mumbled around a mouthful of stew. He'd plunked down on a picnic display near the store's cash register. It was a textured plastic job, supposedly maintenance free and ugly as all hell.

  Gwen took a seat opposite him with a brief smile. "Morning. Sleep well?"

  He shrugged and finished off his meal. "Had some bad dreams, but that's been normal for about, oh, three months now."

  "I know the feeling," she said, as he used his Zippo to light a smoke. "Those will kill you, you know."

  He laughed. "I doubt I'll live long enough for that to happen."

  "I don't think Kat would appreciate you croaking, after everything Leo tells me you've been through. How long have the two of you been together?" she asked, attempting to make conversation.

  Jake shook his head. "We're not a couple."

  "O-o-oh," Gwen said, wisely. "Friends with benefits. That's cool too. I had a guy back home like that for awhile."

  "Uh. No," he replied. "Just good friends. No sex involved."

  She gave him a skeptical look. "Really?"

  He nodded.

  "Wow...you must be the most unobservant guy on Earth."

  The conversation was beginning to take an odd turn, causing Jake to shift in his seat. He wasn't comfortable discussing his sex life with a woman he'd just met the day before. "Why do you say that?"

  "Well, duh!" Gwen rolled her eyes and gave him a look clearly questioning his mental abilities.

  He blinked and settled for gazing out a narrow window providing a view of the crossroads outside. A lone zombie was passing south, wearing what remained of filthy coveralls and a pair of hip-wader, fishing boots.

  Gwen pressed on. "I mean it's pretty obvious."

  "Where's Leo?" He attempted to change the subject.

  "Oh, he's up on the roof with Elle." The blonde shrugged. "They're still in the initial cuddle phase, so I think they were looking to get away from everybody for a while."

  That was surprising news, to say the least. Jake had been sure young Salazar carried a torch for Karen large enough to be seen from orbit.

  Everyone's libido is going into overdrive, he thought. I wonder if saying to hell with it and acting on your desires is a side effect of the apocalypse? Or maybe it's just because we're all stuck together every waking moment.

  He knew people tended to form attachments with others they normally wouldn't associate with when thrown into highly stressful situations. Hell, he'd understand if that were the case. Before the outbreak, he would've been hard pressed to piss in his previous bosses face if the bastard's eyes were on fire. The man had been an egotistical snob and the way he spoke to his co-workers nearly earned him some high-quality ass-kickings from many of the other editors. Besides which, he'd been a complete horn-dog, and Jake believed anyone with that many paternity suits against him wasn't really the type of guy he needed to be having beers with.

  I guess old Larry got off easy. What with the end of the world and all. No alimony payments due to Doomsday.

  Tamping his cigarette out on the ugly picnic table, he looked outside again. A lone zombie was passing north wearing the remains of torn and filthy coveralls and fishing boots…

  Wait a damn minute. Jake rose and moved quickly to the small window. Careful not to get close enough for anyone or anything to see him through the glass, he watched the creature stumble past their hiding place.

  "Go wake Donna and the two of you stay quiet," He told Gwen, and headed for the stockroom again. Jake strode quickly to the pallet where Kat still lay sleeping, then patted her leather-covered knee.

  The ex-pharmacy tech's dark eyes fluttered open and he placed a finger to her lips. "Something strange outside."

  She nodded silently and grabbed her weapons from the same shelf where he'd found her gardening glove pillow. The pair scurried quietly up the fire-hose and onto the roof. There may not have been many infected in the area at the moment, which meant their luck was holding, but that didn't mean more of the creatures couldn't show up. That would turn their morning into an exercise involving lots
of bullets and nasty body fluids.

  Elle and Leo broke apart, rising to their feet as Jake reached down, grasped Kat's hand, and pulled her up through the skylight. He noticed that, even though they'd been involved in some really heavy petting, the pretty, blonde soldier looked totally at ease. Leo's expression displayed more than a little embarrassment, however.

  Motioning for silence, Jake pulled the binoculars from his vest and targeted the stumbling ghoul. The awful thing was moving up the middle of the country road with purpose. He couldn't see it very well, due to the overgrown grass and trees, but confirmed that it was the same creature that had been heading south only minutes ago. Even with his limited line of sight, Jake could tell the zombie was in hunting mode. It was heading towards something that had tripped the rotten dinner switch in its dead brain. The creature's arms stretched forward in anticipation of latching onto prey with its grey, smut-coated hands. As Jake watched, he saw its jaw drop open to let loose with a moan and…

  The pink, blade-like prow of the Screamin' Mimi caught it squarely in the chest. The force of the impact turned the zombie into instant, foul-smelling, flesh-toned goop.

  "Oh, fuck!" Jake exclaimed and reached for his vest pocket where one of the Maritime distress flares George insisted each of them carry rested. Before his hand touched the launch tube, however, the enormous transport slowed and turned lazily into the Agri-Supply's gravel parking lot.

  "You lovebirds keep an eye out up here, alright?" Kat said, moving to follow him, as he all but jumped down through the skylight to the storeroom below. "We'll find out what's going on."

  "This can't be good," Leo murmured, as the blue-haired woman disappeared down the fire-hose.

  Elle proceeded to check the magazine in her suppressed MP5. Foster had offered her one of his surplus M4s but, as with a .50 Cal, the buxom sergeant was most comfortable with her own weapon. Confirming it was full, she slapped the magazine home and turned a watchful eye to the road. "Don't worry, Jake will handle it. You just watch the other side of the building. That way, we can maybe continue the conversation we were having later?"