A Knight of Contradictions

by J A Alexander

  Anna poured herself some and said, “All right, who wants to go first?”

  None of them had ever drunk this sort of thing before. Not because of any law or moral rule, but because their bodies were still young. It was quite all right for a noble to drink a glass of chardonnay. To take it too far, though, well, it was an embarrassment. Those of high ranking had to practice self-control. And honestly the small bodies of the three, not to mention lack of experience, would undoubtedly end in a poor show of class.

  “I’m the man in this group, so it should be me,” Bart said, eyeing his glass.

  Before they could say anything, Bart took a long sip of his wine. He smacked his lips and smiled at them. The wine must have been good, because he took another sip of the drink. Anna and Shel, not wanting to be outperformed, also began sipping on their alcohol. They gagged a bit, but otherwise enjoyed their first adult beverage. After some time had passed, all three were on to their second glasses and clearly feeling the effects of the first.

  “This…this is…spectucer…spectuctler…spectac…really good,” Anna said, swaying on her feet a bit.

  “It’s like…everything is in a fog,” Bart said as he spilled some wine.

  “You insufferable fool…you’re drunk,” Shel said, barely able to stand up straight.

  “Hey…wine guy,” Anna slurred at the fifth year.

  “You can take the bottle with you. Just don’t get caught in this state, or it will be traced back to here.”

  “No, no. I was just wondering, if it’s not illegal for us to drink this stuff, why do you have to keep it a secret?”

  “Because the headmaster doesn’t want us serving alcohol to the students, not after what happened last year.”

  “What happened last year?” her knight asked.

  “Betty Correl took her top off in front of some of our furry friends from the north.”

  “I wish I could have seen it,” Bart lamented.

  “Shut up, you bombling boffoon,” Shel said, not even realizing how she sounded.

  “Hey, Shel, where’s your knight?” Anna asked.

  “What do you mean? He’s right…” Shel looked around. “Where is he?”

  “Well…,” Anna’s knight started. “He wasn’t really on board with his little sweetheart drinking. So, me and Bart’s knight locked him in a closet on the third floor.”

  Anna burst out laughing and said, “You’re really awful.”

  The princess was laughing so hard she lost her balance and fell over. This got the other two laughing. They also fell over into one big dog pile. The fifth year decided it was time to cut them off and told Anna’s knight to get the three stooges some place they wouldn’t get caught. The knight complied and took his mistress and her friends out of the school through unused hallways, making sure to pick up Shel’s infuriated knight on the way.

  Each knight took its respective owner back home. Bart’s was laughing at how funny his master was acting. Shel’s was making such a fuss that she had ended up like this. Anna’s knight, well, he just took her in his arms, wrapped his cloak around her, and took her home. All three children passed out the moment their heads hit the pillows. They were just so pleased with themselves, at least until they woke up the next morning with a hangover.

  “Shut the curtains. It’s too bright in here,” Anna said from her bed.

  “The curtains are closed,” her knight replied.

  “Well, make the sun go away then,” she whined.

  “I can’t.”

  “Don’t talk so loud!”

  Anna’s knight tiptoed over to her and said, ever so gently, “Okay!”

  Anna covered her ears with a pillow and started groaning. Her knight just laughed and pulled the pillow off her head. The princess tossed and turned, trying to hide underneath the covers. The knight pulled those off, too. He then proceeded to pick her up and swing her about.

  “Stop it,” she said, her face turning green. “I think I’m going to vomit.”

  “It would probably make you feel better,” her knight said, holding her in front in of him.

  “It’s not proper…” Anna puked all over her knight. “Never mind.”

  He set her down. “Well, while you go get dressed, I’ll get cleaned up.”

  “Do I have to?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why did you suggest this if you knew what would happen?”

  “It’s funny.” He shrugged.

  “Jerk,” Anna muttered, going into her closet to get her uniform.

  Anna didn’t know what she was going to do today. With her uniform on, she went back into the room. Her knight wasn’t back yet. So, she decided to waste her time fiddling with her father’s diary, which thankfully her knight had kept a hold of. Of course, the thing was still locked. Anna banged the thing on her bedpost. Still nothing.

  “Why did he give me this stupid thing?” Anna collapsed onto her bed.

  “I don’t know.” Her knight had come back into the room from cleaning up.

  “There has to be something to this.”

  “Why don’t we go and find out what?”

  “And how would we go about that?”

  “From what I’ve heard, your father held many a secret in his chambers.”

  Anna waved him off. “I know that already. So what?”

  “What I’m trying to get into your tiny brain is, we should go see what’s in there.”

  “Hmm…okay.”

  “Great, let’s get going, then.”

  Her knight whisked her away to the forbidden part of the castle. This would be where the kings and queens called home. No one but the ruler of the kingdom could enter this wing. Guards were positioned at the only entrance, a small staircase that seemed to lead nowhere. Anna and her knight walked up the stairs with no opposition. The guards were fast asleep against the wall, helmets pulled down over their eyes. Ann thought this was all very odd but decided to let her good luck go without questioning it.

  Her metal protector took the lead. From the back, she tried to figure out where her father’s room was. From what she knew about this place, everything was in chronological order. Her father was the eightieth ruler of the kingdom. If there were a dozen rooms on each floor and ten floors, then his room should be…

  “Somewhere on the sixth floor,” Anna said.

  “It took you that long to figure that out?”

  “Shut up.”

  “If I’m right, then the room is right—oh, crap.”

  Anna pushed in front of her knight and saw what had him upset. Standing at not only her father’s door, but at every door after that, was a knight. Only they wouldn’t pose a threat to the pair of them. Each knight, each poor thing, was mangled, torn to shreds. Some were just heaps of scrap metal. The better off ones were just missing a few limbs. Her father’s knight was one such amputee. His entire right half, arm, leg, even some of his chest were gone. Not completely, though, as whatever had been found of him was in a small pile next to his remaining foot.

  “What…what happened to them?” Anna said.

  “You do know that every king or queen was killed by one of their children. Subsequently, the knights were damaged in the process.”

  “But how could they be left like this?” Anna shouted.

  “What else would they be used for?”

  “They’re just left like this, some for more than a thousand years. It’s horrible.” Anna felt a shudder run through her body.

  “We can’t feel pain, and without our masters, we’ve nothing better to do.”

  “But—”

  “I mean, they’re all left like this when their master dies, at their grave usually, but I guess the rulers of Rutig get special treatment.”

  “It’s like this for everyone?”

  “You haven’t been to a graveyard,
have you?”

  “I don’t like being around dead people, so no. Why didn’t anyone ever tell me about this?”

  “It’s sort of like what flowers a person is buried with. No one really cares enough to remember and talk about it.”

  Anna couldn’t believe it. She had known the knights were treated badly, but to be left like this for all of eternity was too much. The tears rolled down her cheeks. She tried to get a hold of herself, make Shel proud and control her emotions, but nothing seemed to work. The worst thing was this is what awaited her own knight.

  “How can they…how can I let this happen to you?”

  “I thought you didn’t really care about me.”

  “Shut up…you big jerk!”

  Suddenly, she was hugging him. Who cared if they didn’t get along? Leaving him to this fate sickened her. All of it just made her feel bad. It wasn’t right. Who could think it was right?

  Her knight sighed and put an arm around her. “Come on. Let’s get you out of here.”

  “But…but…”

  “I’m sure Shel and Bart are waiting for you at the festival.”

  “How can you say that?” Anna didn’t know why he was taking all of this so easily.

  “Because.” He went for the stairs.

  “That’s all you have to say?”

  Her knight was already gone. “Make sure you get cleaned up, or Shel will bite your head off for being so weak.”

  Anna stood speechless. Finally, after a weary look back, she hurried after her knight. She did clean herself up. Also, she decided not to say this to her friends. They must already know about this, and would likely just make fun of her. What she sought might be in her father’s room, but it was a place she couldn’t go, not yet.

  Chapter 18

  “Why do you laugh like that?” Shel said to Bart.

  “Why do you have a flat chest? No one will ever know,” Bart replied with that laugh of his.

  Anna had walked in on these two going at it once again. She had no idea why they had decided to run a stall together. Why did Bart just take all of Shel’s abuse? Why was Shel so mean to him?

  “Hey, you two. Do you like each other or something?” Anna asked.

  “No,” Shel said.

  “Maybe,” Bart answered.

  “See, Anna, we—what did you say, Bart?”

  “I said maybe.”

  “So you do like her.” Anna perked up a bit.

  Bart shook his head. “I don’t know.”

  Bart and Anna looked at Shel and almost burst out laughing. The girl’s cheeks were flushed with bright pink. Anna went to say something, but the sounds of thunder made her look up. There was a small, gray cloud above her and Bart. The thing began to dump water on them. Anna was lucky since her knight covered her with his cloak. All Bart’s knight did was laugh at him.

  Bart laughed as well, “You really are…”

  Bam! He went down like a sack full of kittens in a river. It may have been just one bolt of lightning, but man, if it wasn’t a powerful one. Bart got up, twitching violently the whole time. Anna thought that Shel might have overdone it this time. Shel, after she was done wiping the blood from her lips, went over to Bart and said.

  “That’s what you get, you ignoramus.”

  “I-I-I…I th-th-th-th-think I should s-s-see the nurse.” Then he went down again.

  Anna’s knight said to Bart’s, “Pick him up, we’ll go get him to the nurse.”

  Everyone got a move on to the nurse’s office. Bart was having convulsions the entire time but otherwise didn’t seem too harmed. Anna wasn’t too worried, knowing Shel well enough that she wouldn’t kill someone, at least publicly. Shel refused to look at any of them, her cheeks no longer colored. The awkward silence continued until finally they made it to their destination. They stepped inside and were greeted by an elderly woman in white.

  “Hello, children, how are you today?”

  “We’re here, so what does that tell you?” Anna’s knight said.

  “Someone’s got quite the porky mouth,” she said, coming to look over Bart.

  “Will he be all right?” Anna asked.

  “Who cares?” Shel muttered.

  “Shel. darling, I hope you weren’t the cause of this,” Nurse Cree said in a mockingly sweet voice.

  “What if I was?”

  “Then I’d have to break out the catheter.” The nurse smiled.

  “Please, no! Anything but that!” Shel said, a little fear in her voice for once.

  “Then you’ll do well to remember not to use your magic for petty reasons.” The nurse turned around. “Bring him to one of the beds.”

  Bart’s knight set his master down on a bed. The nurse went through all the standard procedures, washing her hands and putting on gloves. Then she went about checking Bart’s heart rate, his breathing, and finally his skin to see if there were any burns. Everything checked out okay. She took her gloves off and gave the diagnosis.

  “He’s a little frazzled and will be twitching for some time, but he should be fine.”

  “Thank goodness,” Anna sighed.

  “However, while you’re here, I should check to see if you’re okay, Shel.”

  “I’m fine, Nurse Cree,” Shel said, backing up toward the door.

  “I think not.”

  Shel’s path was blocked by a minute knight. It looked like a metal imp and was holding a clipboard in one hand, a pen in the other. She was stuck between two evils and reluctantly sat on a bed. Nurse Cree smiled at her and went to get new gloves on. The imp jumped onto the bed and began writing things down.

  “Nurse Cree, is this really necessary?”

  “You’re already in here every day because of your illness. Using your magic for no reason on top of that will be the death of you.”

  “I said I’m fine.”

  The nurse checked Shel’s heartbeat and said, “A little too fast for my taste. You haven’t taken your medicine yet today, have you? In that case you’ll take it now.”

  “Stupid medicine.”

  “You come here every day?” Anna asked her friend.

  “She takes her medicine in the morning, noon, and evening.”

  The nurse had gotten a pot of water out of nowhere. After a few weak attempts, she snapped her fingers well enough to get the water boiling. She did a couple stretches to get the magic-caused kinks out of her back. Dipping a needle in the water, she brought it over to Shel. The sick child rolled up her sleeve and grimaced.

  “Now, this won’t hurt a bit.”

  “Stupid liar.”

  She stuck the needle in and said, “I thought we agreed no foul language.”

  “Yeah…I know.”

  Pulling the needle out, Nurse Cree smiled. “There we go, all done.”

  Shel’s frown was worse than usual. “I’m leaving.”

  The little knight got in her way again. Only this time he was holding a lollipop in his outstretched hand. Shel ripped it from him and threw it on the ground. Stomping it to dust, she went to leave. However, Nurse Cree had one more thing to say.

  “So, who’s your boyfriend?”

  “You…you.” Shel saw that her friends were stifling their laughter. “Shut up. I hate all of you.”

  Anna’s knight let his laughter go and said, “Holy crap! You’re so adorable, Shel.”

  “I didn’t know you had such a soft side.” Anna giggled.

  Shel’s cheeks were once more flushed as she said, “Next time you eat, there might just be rat poison in your mashed potatoes.”

  “Pfft, you don’t have the stones,” Anna’s knight said.

  Shel looked ready to blow the whole place to the moon. She refrained, however. Just to show how mad she was, the young girl stomped really hard as she left. Everyone just started laughing aga
in. After saying goodbye to Bart, Anna went back to their stall to see if Shel was okay. Apparently, though, she had gone home for the day. This left only Anna and her knight to wander around the festival.

  There really wasn’t much to do. At least nothing Anna and her friends hadn’t already experienced. So, Anna and her metal tagalong ended up at a little tea booth. It wasn’t a big name-brand company promoting it, just a mom-and-pop store. As such, there were only three tables, the other two occupied by young couples. Anna took a seat at the empty one. She ordered a regular caramel tea, extra sugar. Her knight stood by, his arms folded.

  “Why don’t you sit down?”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “Why not?” She set down her tea.

  “It wouldn’t be proper.”

  “Since when have you cared about what’s proper.”

  “Well…”

  “Just sit.”

  Her knight took the second seat next to her. It creaked, but it didn’t break. Anna sipped on her tea and watched her knight pull out a book, The Golden Knight. He began to read out loud, not enough to bother the other people, but so Anna could hear it as well. He started from the beginning and read with a pleasant voice.

  Anna finished her tea and pushed the cup away. She folded her arms on the table and laid her head down. The background chatter of the festival somehow enhanced the whole situation. The lavender on the tables wafted over the area. It was so nice just to rest her eyes and listen. As much as she hated to, Anna had a question on her mind that needed to be asked. Her father’s death, and the fact that any one of her siblings could kill her, had started her thinking about her death.

  “What do you think heaven will be like?”

  He stopped reading. “If heaven is a real place, it’ll be this moment forever.”

  “You’re terrible…always so indecisive with how you want to be toward me.”