Struggle to Forever: a friends to lovers duet

by Lilliana Anderson

  “Bianca?” He frowns. “What’s she got to do with all this?”

  “Bianca is nothing but a bitch toward me, David. She might have been all gorgeous sex kitten towards you tonight. But as soon as you left me with her at the bar, she asked me if I was a cutter because of my scars then warned me off Elliot. Every time I see her, she has something bitchy to say to me. She keeps calling me a boy. Why do you keep doing this to me? Why do you choose girls that are everything I’m not?”

  David takes a step back, his brow knitted tightly together. “I didn't choose her at all. I was just making conversation. I didn’t even know you were having trouble with her. You never told me she was giving you a hard time. You’ve hardly talked about your work at all. I only know about Elliot because I caught you staring after him on your first day. Otherwise, before tonight and that… that scene on the wharf, I’d have no clue. You have to talk to me, Trina. We're best friends, and before Christopher came along and fucked everything up, you and I were everything. I know you’ve been going through a hard time, and I’ve been patient, waiting until you’re ready to...but…” He pauses and shakes his head. “You’re everything to me. Don’t push me away because I remind you why Christopher hurt you.” He stares into my eyes, showing me how serious he is before he draws me into a tight hug. I sigh against his shoulder, realising I haven’t been a fantastic friend lately.

  “I’m sorry,” I cry. “I'm sorry. I’m a mess.”

  “It’s OK, baby girl. It’s OK.”

  As soon as I’ve calmed down, we walk arm in arm towards the train station, remembering half way there that we were supposed to catch the train back with Carmel. “I should call her and tell her where we are.”

  “I wasn’t going to do anything with Bianca,” David says while we wait for her to catch up. “Bitchy isn't really my type.” I lift my brow, knowing to the contrary so he adds, “Anymore,” with that lopsided grin of his that melts my heart and instantly makes me smile in return.

  “It doesn’t even matter, David. You can sleep with whomever you like. And like always, it’s none of my business. Although, I do think you should steer clear of Bianca. I’m pretty sure she’s a siren who’ll drown you if you get too close,” I say, trying to lighten the mood.

  An amused burst of air leaves his nose, but he stays fairly serious as he meets my eyes. “I didn’t realise you and Elliot had gotten so close.”

  I take a deep breath. “We’ve been training together,” I admit.

  He seems taken aback. “For how long?”

  “Just since Wednesday. We were both running, so we ran together. Then we went to the gym at lunch together.”

  “I see.”

  “I don’t really understand what’s going on because he runs hot and cold. There’s that no dating policy at work, so he acts like he barely knows me in the office, but then we’re best friends at lunch. And he’s funny and easy to get along with.” I reach out and touch his arm, trying to relax him as he tightens his jaw. “He’s a lot like you, really. I think you’d get along if you gave each other a chance.”

  “Jesus, Trina,” he mutters, looking away as he runs his tongue along his bottom teeth.

  “I know,” I say. “It’s reckless. I don’t even know him.”

  “Hey guys.” David looks over my shoulder at the sound of Carmen approaching, the dark look on his face telling me she’s not alone. I turn around and see Carmel walking toward us with both Andrew and Elliot. David takes a step away from me.

  “Thanks for waiting,” Carmel says brightly. “I hate catching the train home by myself at night. I normally go home much earlier than this, but since you guys were staying, I thought, what the hell.” She giggles, a little breathless from her brisk walk. “I was freaking out when you left without me.” Elliot stands beside her watching me intently, his eyes dark and serious.

  “I’m sorry about that,” I say. “It won’t happen again.”

  “Ah, that’s what phones are for.” She waves my apology away.

  “My car is at the station if you need a ride home,” I offer, trying not to focus on Elliot’s gaze as it bores through me.

  “Will you be sober enough to drive home?” Andrew asks.

  “I’ll be fine,” I assure him. “I only had three drinks. I just didn’t eat much today, and it went straight to my head. Anyway, it takes an hour and a half to get home at this time of night. I’ll be well and truly sober by then.”

  “In that case, I’d love a ride home, thanks,” Carmel accepts, reaching up to Andrew and giving him a quick kiss goodbye. I watch the exchange and realise that Albina was right; the 'no-dating' rule doesn’t stop anyone at all. However, it could definitely cause problems if the wrong people knew about you. Like Bianca for example.

  Elliot touches my hand and lifts it toward him a little. “Can we talk before you go?”

  I nod and squeeze David’s arm to reassure him before walking a few steps away to talk to Elliot more privately.

  “I’m sorry,” he starts, frowning as he shifts on his feet. “I’m sorry if I pushed you or embarrassed you. It wasn’t my intention. I lost control.”

  “You didn’t do anything, Elliot. I embarrassed myself.”

  He studies my face for a moment, gauging my state of mind. If he could really see inside it, he’d find chaos and storms. “About Beth: she’s my PA. I know she has a thing for me. But I try not to encourage it. Putting my arm around her tonight was…a lapse in judgement.” He runs his fingers though his hair causing it to stick up at an odd angle.

  I curl my hands into fists as I resist the urge to reach up and smooth it down for him. He frowns in thought and continues. “When Priya brought you to my office on Monday, I wasn’t expecting this. I wasn’t expecting to look up and have this jolt hit me in the chest. It really freaked me out. And honestly, I probably would have gone out of my way to avoid you but then you jumped into the elevator and”—he shakes his head and frowns again—“suddenly you were the only person I wanted to see.” He reaches out and brushes the backs of his fingers along my cheek, and once again I close my eyes as his touch sends pleasure ripples through my body.

  “I hated seeing you dance with that guy tonight,” he whispers, stepping closer to me.

  My head clouds from his proximity, and I’m finding it hard to breathe, let alone speak. I flounder for my words. “I… I don’t know if I’m ready for this, Elliot. It’s all too much. It’s happening too fast.”

  “Then we take it as slow as you want.” He shifts closer to me. “Take our time because I don’t think I could stay away from you if I wanted to.” He places his hand on the back of my head, and I catch my breath as he leans down and kisses me slowly. I feel like jelly in his arms as I relax against the hard plains of his body, languishing in the feeling of his mouth on mine. Out of breath, I’m trembling as we pull away from each other.

  “Give me your phone.” He releases me and holds out his hand. I fumble through my bag and hand it to him, watching as he taps in his number and calls his own phone. “There. Now we both have each other’s numbers,” he says as he hands it back.

  I smile to myself as I look at my call list and notice he saved it under ‘Evan’. “I guess I’ll call you some time then.” I hug the phone to my chest.

  “I’d like that.”

  “We ready? There’ll be a train soon,” David calls out impatiently.

  “OK, we’re coming,” I tell him, smiling as we all walk together to the station. Elliot takes my hand and interlaces our fingers, leaning in close. Carmel and Andrew hold hands as well.

  David is the odd man out, walking beside me with his hands in his pockets and his head down. He’s become silent, and, noticing the change, I worry about him.

  Upon reaching the station, the train is due within a couple of minutes. “Message that you’re home safe,” both Elliot and Andrew tell us as we say a quick goodbye.

  “I’ll be sure to,” David teases as he hurries Carmel and I through the barriers. With a wa
ve over our shoulders, we rush down the stairs and make it to the platform just as the train is pulling in.

  “How long have you been dating Andrew?” I ask Carmel as we take our seats at the front of the carriage. She sits in the rear-facing seat across from David and me.

  “About a year now. It’s going well.” She smiles, her cheeks glowing.

  “And there haven’t been any repercussions at work?”

  “Not really. The no-dating policy is only a problem if someone else has a problem with you dating. No one cares if Andrew and I are together so we haven’t been reported. We keep to ourselves, don’t flaunt the relationship during work hours and we seem to get on OK.” She shrugs. “But let’s face it, he’s no Elliot, so no one is paying attention. You, on the other hand, will need to be very careful—especially after tonight. A lot of girls will have their noses out of joint when they find out he kissed you in front of everyone. You’ve got the guy they’ve been after for months after only one week. Dating him will ruffle some serious feathers and most likely get you both fired.”

  I lean back in the seat and let out a heavy sigh. “We’ll have to hide it.”

  David sits forward, frowning. “Listen, this may be none of my business here, but do you think that’s wise? I’m all for you moving on, but I don’t know if a secret relationship is a good thing for you.”

  “No, David. I don’t think it’s wise.” I sigh again and look out the window at the passing lights of the tunnel. “But I feel drawn to him, and I need to find out where that takes us. Hopefully, without either of us losing our jobs.”

  “I just want you to think about this seriously. You’ve gone from saying you didn’t want a relationship, that it was all happening too fast. And now you’re talking about risking your job for a guy you’ve only known for two minutes. You’re flip-flopping, and I’m worried for you.” He crosses his arms over his chest and puts his feet on the seat across from him. Doing exactly what the sign above his head tells him not to.

  I place my hand on his thigh. “I know what I’m doing, David.”

  “Well, I’m glad you know,” he mumbles, as he chews on his thumbnail and stares out the window. I watch him for a moment. He only chews his nails when he’s agitated. And I get why he is. I’m agitated too. But I’m also excited. I’m feeling hopeful. When he sees how happy I am, he’ll calm down and be his regular supportive self again.

  When the train pulls into Penrith Station, David walks us both over the bridge and to my car.

  “Will you come over tomorrow?” I ask him before he leaves.

  He leans forward and kisses me roughly on the cheek. “Sure,” he says without feeling, raising his hand to say goodbye to Carmel. “It was nice to meet you.”

  “You too,” she says as she gets into the passenger seat of my car. “Is there something going on between you two?” she asks once the doors are closed. “I mean, did you used to date or something?”

  I start the car as soon as I see David get inside his own. “No. He doesn’t see me that way. We’ve never dated and there’s nothing going on. He’s just… protective of me. We’ve been through a lot together... as friends.”

  The explanation seems to placate her, so she doesn’t ask any more questions. Instead, making small talk as she directs me towards her house, thanking me for the lift as she gets out of the car.

  “You’re more than welcome,” I reply. “It was nice meeting you tonight.”

  “Same to you. And good luck with Elliot. It’s nice to see him smiling again.” She shuts the door and waves to me before walking up the path that leads to her door.

  Watching until I see her step inside, I put the car into drive and release an exhausted sigh. “Luck, huh? Between David and Elliot, I think I’m gonna need it.”

  Eight

  “Katrina. Wake up!” My eyes pop open as my mother shakes me from my sleep.

  “What happened? Is everyone OK?”

  “You were moaning and whimpering in your sleep. I could hear you from the kitchen,” she says, her face full of concern. “It sounded like you were having one of your nightmares.”

  Pieces of the dream come floating back to me, the throbbing between my legs telling me my dream wasn’t scary at all. I sit up and awkwardly clear my throat. “Mum, I’m fine… I don’t even remember what it was.”

  “Oh, look at you. You’re all flushed.” She attempts to reach out and smooth my hair like she always does when she thinks I’m upset. Moving my head to the side, I catch her hand and pat it reassuringly.

  “Seriously, Mum. I’m fine… Thanks for worrying about me, though.”

  “As long as you’re sure?”

  “I’ll let you get dressed then,” she offers, standing as she backs out of the room. “I was thinking of making eggs. Do you want some? Or are you training first?”

  “I’ll train first.”

  She nods and shuts my door on her way out.

  Getting up, I lock my door, flopping back on my bed with a dramatic moan. The dream is clear now: Elliot settled between my thighs, lapping away like a pro. It felt incredibly real. I can’t believe I was moaning so loud my mother heard me!

  My face feels like it’s on fire from both the dream and the embarrassment. I’ll have to remember to lock my door before bed in the future. Can’t have mothers busting in on erotic dreams too often. Talk about awkward.

  Oh, but that dream!

  I sigh as I shift a little in my bed. My clit aching badly from the effects of dream Elliot’s tongue. Or was it Evan?

  I giggle to myself as I close my eyes, remembering the intensity, the way he felt as my fingers pulled at his hair. It seems a shame to waste an arousal that tightens my entire core. I bite my lip in daring, feeling pretty safe with my locked door, deciding to finish what my dream started.

  Closing my eyes, I slide my hand inside my pyjama bottoms and into my panties. I’m so aroused that my body flinches involuntarily when my finger touches my sensitive spot and makes its way between my slick wet folds. I let out a silent moan as I reach two fingers inside and massage my inner walls, allowing the palm of my hand to press against my engorged clit.

  Sheathed in my wetness, my fingers move like they’re gliding over silk as I gently tease my nub. Exploding in seconds, my body jolts euphorically, a gentle pulse beneath my finger syncing with the rapid beat of my heart.

  With my body tingling happily, I lie there with my eyes closed, drifting off again and thinking of nothing but him.

  Grabbing an apple to eat before I train, I munch on the sweet flesh as I hitch my bike up to the back of my car.

  “Where you going?” David asks, walking up behind me. “I thought you wanted me to come around?”

  “I did. But I wasn’t expecting you so early.” I glance at my watch. “It’s eight-fifteen. You're never out of bed this early on a Saturday.”

  “I’ve got a lot on my mind,” he says, looking at his feet as he scuffs them on the driveway.

  “Why don’t you come for a ride with me? We can talk.”

  “Sure, I’ll go home and get my shit together. Pick me up in fifteen?”

  I nod and he trots off.

  David only lives a couple of streets away from me. It’s part of the reason we became such good friends during school. We live at the far end of the bus route, so we got used to talking to each other and eventually started hanging out until we became inseparable.

  I finish hooking up my push bike and go inside to get my helmet and bag. Calling out to tell Mum I’m leaving.

  “Was that David I heard outside?” she asks, popping her head out of the laundry.

  “It was. I’m heading round to pick him up now.”

  “Tell him I’m making ravioli for dinner. The one with bacon in the sauce.”

  “OK. I’m sure he’ll come hungry.” I smile as I head back to my car and jump in, dropping my gear onto the back seat.

  When I get to David’s, he’s left his garage open, knowing I’d load his bike for him while
he changes. He’s so spoilt. I laugh to myself as I tighten the bolt on the bike rack.

  “All ready?” I ask when he emerges from his house carrying his helmet and water bottle. He nods then walks over to the garage and pulls the door down before we get into the car and drive out to Penrith Lakes.

  We don’t really speak on the way. We just listen to my playlist through the stereo system. He drums his fingers to the beat, and I sing along to Lana Del Ray’s Off to the Races. I sneak a glance at him now and then. But, I know him well enough to know that he’ll talk to me when he’s ready.

  We sort out our bikes as soon as we arrive and set off along the path to lap the lake for the next two hours. There are a few rowers training on the water, and a coach cycling up and down the far side, giving them instructions through a megaphone. I don’t speak, preferring to enjoy the scenery, while I wait for David to get things straight in his head. This takes almost half an hour.

  “I wanted to talk to you about this thing you have with Elliot,” he ventures.

  “All right, talk away.”

  “I just… Can we stop for a minute?” He hits the brakes on his bike, not waiting for an answer, so I follow suit. We both unclip our shoes and wheel our bikes off the track before we sit on the ground. He sits with his knees up as he pulls at the grass between his feet, breaking the blades up and letting them fall as he stares out at the water. “Are you sure having a secret relationship is a good thing?”

  “It’s not that much of a secret. You know about it. Carmel and Andrew know about it. Half the office probably does now too. But, we can play that off as drunken stupidity, I guess. Save our jobs for a little while.” I let my words hang in the air as I focus on the boats rowing past us and turn to watch their coach cycle past.

  David lets out a heavy sigh. “I’m worried about you. I mean, how much do you really know about this guy?”

  “I know that we get along, that we’re attracted to each other... I just… I don’t know. I feel connected to him, which is strange for me, because besides you, I didn’t think I’d be comfortable around another guy. But things are easy with Elliot. He likes me without pretence. He likes me despite my scars. He like me for me, damaged as I am.”