Struggle to Forever: a friends to lovers duet

by Lilliana Anderson

  “Well then, consider me schooled.”

  Standing, I brush off the back of my dress then hold my hand out to him. “You lured me here with the promise of market browsing. But I’d like you to show me around your town.”

  “OK,” he says, allowing me to pull him to standing. “But I’ll need one of these for the road.”

  He leans in, his hand cupping the back of my head as he kisses me deeply. I like the size of his hand as it cradles me; I like the decisiveness of his mouth as it takes control, and I like the gentle intrusion of his tongue as it bosses mine around. But most of all, I like kissing him. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to enjoy this.

  “A harbour cruise? Shit. That would have been awesome,” Elliot says, sitting with me on the rooftop of his favourite restaurant. It’s a little wood-fired pizza place that makes a mean mushroom and prosciutto slice with chilli oil drizzled on top.

  “It was. Nineties cover band, good food. I had a blast.”

  “What was the occasion?” He leans forwards and takes a big bite of pizza. I even like watching the way his jaw works when he chews.

  “That’s what I said too.” I pick a mushroom off the top of my slice and hold it midway to my mouth. “He said it was an apology gift. We kind of had a fight a few weeks back. Said some hurtful things to each other, and this was his way of saying sorry.” I pop the mushroom in my mouth and chew before continuing. “And it was good because I think we cleared the air on a few issues. Like how protective he is since the incident. Plus, I told him how things are going with you and me, explained that you understood what our friendship was like and you’re cool with it.”

  “I’m cool with it, am I? I sound like a great bloke.”

  I nudge him under the table with my foot. “You are though, right?”

  He reaches across the table and takes my hand. “I am. I promised you I understood, and I do. No green-eyed monster here.” He releases my hand and picks up his beer, taking a drink. “Although, I’d like to hear more about how things are going with us. What was that part about?”

  I grin as I take a bite of my slice, making him wait until I finish the mouthful and take a drink before I answer. “I said we were more than just friends.”

  His brow shifts upward. “More than just friends,” he intones. “And how do we move past that? I mean, what comes after ‘more than friends’?”

  “Is that what you want? To be more than ‘more than friends’?” I ask carefully.

  He adjusts in his seat and tilts his head a little. “Well, yeah. I think that’s where this is headed. Don’t you?”

  “I hope so.”

  “OK. So that would make me your boy-friend?” He enunciates each syllable carefully.

  I couldn’t keep the smile from my face if someone paid me to. “I think I’d like that.”

  “OK.” He nods, seeming relieved. “Then it’s settled. We’re dating now. Exclusively.”

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  Fourteen

  “Who’s Evan?” Tom asks, grabbing my phone before I can respond to the text alert.

  “Give that back!”

  He holds it above his head, out of my reach as he reads the text out loud. “Miss you already. Spend the whole weekend next time. Kiss face emoji.” He makes a fake vomit sound. “You can tell you haven’t let him in your pants yet or it’d be an eggplant and water drops.”

  “What’s an eggplant and water drops mean?” Mum asks, walking in the lounge room at exactly the wrong moment.

  “Don’t tell her,” I warn him, snatching my phone back and sticking it in my pocket. Big brothers really suck sometimes.

  He gets this evil glint in his brown eyes and I know this won’t end well. “An ejaculating penis, Mum,” he says, before looking at me and adding, “What? She’s a big girl. She knows what sex is.”

  “How else do you think you two got here,” Mum says, placing her hands on her hips. “And I’ve done it more than twice. Why, just last week when both of you were out, your father came home and—”

  “Stop!” I cover my mouth and giggle. “I so don’t want to know.”

  “Well, I’d like to know why some boy is sending you eggplants. Who is this Evan person?”

  Tom holds onto his side, cackling until I nudge him with my foot and he falls off the couch with a thud. “Grow up,” I say. “You’re almost thirty.”

  “I’m twenty-eight,” he counters.

  “Close enough.” He pulls a face as he gets up and leaves the room.

  Mum places her hands on her hips and eyes me. “I’m waiting.”

  “He didn’t send an eggplant, Mum. He sent a kissy face.” I show her the notification on my phone.

  “Oh, well, that’s sweet, isn’t it? Who is this boy?”

  “Man, Mum. He’s not a boy. And he’s from work.”

  With an interested spark in her eye, she sits down beside me. “What does he do? How did this happen? And why don’t I already know about it?”

  Shaking my head with an amused smile, I count the answers off on my fingers. “He’s a junior solicitor. We’ve been exercising together at lunch. And you don’t know about it because we literally only made it official earlier today.”

  “That’s who you were with today? The boy you train with at lunch?”

  “Yes,” I say. “It was kind of our first date.”

  “I thought you trained with Elliot at lunch?” She frowns.

  “Why would you think that?” I ask, taken aback because I haven’t mentioned it. I’m always careful talking about boys with her because she’s obsessed with romance.

  “Well, his mother; Katey. I play tennis with her, remember? She told me you two were getting along.”

  A grin tickled the corners of my mouth. “He told his mum about me?”

  She shrugs. “I suppose. But I don’t know who this Evan character is.”

  “Oh.” I laugh as I touch her arm lightly. “It’s a joke because I called him the wrong name a couple of times. He saved his number in my phone that way.”

  “How could you call him the wrong name? Elliot isn’t exactly common.”

  I shake my head. “It was just a joke. Don’t worry about it.”

  “But you are dating him now?”

  “Yes.”

  “Does David know?”

  Tucking my leg beneath me, I turn to face her. “He knows it’s coming. I haven’t spoken to him yet today though.”

  She purses her lips thoughtfully but doesn’t add to the conversation.

  “Why?” I ask after a while.

  With a bounce of her shoulders, she blinks innocently. “No reason. I’m just sure he’d like to know that you’re off the market again.”

  I release a slow breath. “I know my relationships are hard on him, but we’re older now. And I’ve already made it very clear to Elliot that David and I are a package deal.”

  “And how did he take that?”

  “I pointed out he wouldn’t get jealous if David was a girl.”

  “Yes, but odds are, if your best friend was a girl, she wouldn’t also be secretly in love with you.”

  “Oh my god, Mum. David is not secretly in love with me. He’s always been adamant we’ll never be more than friends. He doesn’t believe in long-term relationships.”

  “But you said yourself that you’re older now. I’m sure he said those things before….” She pauses and gently touches the side of my face. “Well, before we nearly lost you.”

  Taking her hand in mine, I pat it lightly before releasing her. “We spoke on Friday night. We’ll always be just friends.”

  “Oh,” she says, her brow creasing lightly. “I thought… oh, it doesn’t matter what I thought. What matters is that you’re happy. You are, aren’t you? You seem brighter.”

  “Yeah, Mum. I’m happy. Elliot is…” I take a deep breath and think about the quietly reserved man who seems to understand me without trying. “He’s wonderful.”

  “Whe
n will I get to meet him?”

  “It’s new, Mum. But soon. Just give it some time.”

  Fifteen

  “What are you still doing here?” Kayley asks, pausing inside the library door on her way out to lunch. “Don’t you normally eat with your friend on Mondays?”

  “I do. But there was some pipe rupture at his office over the weekend and they’re working through trying to save all the files.”

  “Yikes. I hope they have digital backups of everything.”

  “Probably.” I shrug then she grins.

  “You know what this means, right?”

  “That I’m available to have lunch with you?”

  “Of course.” She waves me over dramatically. “I don’t even know why I had to stand here and point that out to you. Get your bag, woman. Albina and Anne are waiting for us.”

  “What about Jo and Carl?”

  “They have their own stuff on today. Let’s go.”

  Heading across the street to the closest eatery, we find Anne and Albina already sitting at a table with two spare seats.

  “What I’m doing is keeping my calories really low all week. So on the weekend, I can eat whatever I want and never put on weight,” Albina says as we sit down, stabbing her fork into a piece of chopped up lettuce.

  “But aren’t you dying of hunger all the time?” Anne asks, looking into her container of creamy-looking pasta with a frown.

  “Well, yes. But to combat that I drink coffee and eat lots and lots of salad. I literally shit green right now.”

  “That’s gross,” Kayley says, opening her burger and pulling off the onions. “And what about the calories from the coffee?”

  “I drink it espresso. No milk.”

  “Doesn’t that stain your teeth?” Anne asks.

  “Oh no. I use a straw,” Albina explains, her expression serious.

  I place my hand over my mouth, trying to control my laughter.

  “What?” Albina laughs. “It’s science. There’s a delicate balance needed to maintain these curves.” She pushes her chest out and pouts her lips.

  “Whatever works for you,” I say, tucking into my sandwich.

  “I could never do all that training you do, Katrina. I have to get creative.”

  “I’m happy being plump,” Kayley says around her mouthful. “If I had to count calories, I’d have to give up wine. And I’m not interested in doing that.”

  “Speaking of wine,” Anne says, her eyes falling on me. “When are we seeing you at Friday drinks again? You came once, caused a stir and there’s been zero drama since.”

  “I think that’s a good thing, don’t you?” I smile.

  “No. It’s boring,” Albina puts in. “Your Elliot is there most weeks, but he doesn’t come to Pontoon with us anymore.” She pouts. “We need you to entice him. Beth and Bianca keep trying but he’s too busy schmoozing the partners to bless us with his hotness.”

  “I think that’s a good thing too,” I say. “He’s focusing on his career. And he’s not my Elliot.”

  Both Anne and Albina scoff, leaning into each other, disbelieving.

  “You go out exercising together. Everyone knows.” Anne lifts her brow.

  “That doesn’t mean he’s mine. It just means we’re friends. Training partners.”

  Albina blows a raspberry and waves a hand dismissively.

  “Anyway,” Kayley puts in. “Albina’s obsession with Elliot aside; why don’t you come to drinks again on Friday night?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I’m only just starting to feel like I can walk through the office without whispers following me.”

  “All the more reason to come,” Kayley says. “Show everyone there’s nothing going on between Elliot and you. People won’t stop talking until they see it with their own eyes.” She directs a pointed stare at Albina.

  “I know I won’t stop talking until then.” Anne giggles, nudging Albina.

  “Me either. Although, if you can bring that sexy friend of yours again, I’ll consider it.” Albina gives me a dramatic wink.

  I laugh. “I can ask, but I don’t know if David wants to go down that road again. We’re both kind of scared off by the drama.”

  “Please come,” Kayley begs, holding her hands together and pouting at me. “Please, please, please.” She adds fluttering lashes and I don’t think my heart can take it.

  “All right.” I cave, laughing as Kayley pumps her fist in the air.

  “Connor is going to love me,” she sing-songs. “He keeps asking about you.”

  “Oh lord.” I put my hand on my heated face. “He hasn’t, has he?”

  She nods. “He was quite taken. But I keep telling him you’re not looking.” When our eyes meet, we exchange a knowing look. And I’m grateful that she’s redirecting the conversation away from Elliot and me.

  “OK. I’ll come.” I shrug as a round of girly squeals goes around the table. For the first time in a really long time, I’m starting to feel like I fit in. I’m really enjoying this.

  “Are you mental?” David asks on the way home on the train.

  “No. I’m trying to bond and fit in.”

  He groans, slouching lower in his seat, his long leg sticking out into the aisle. “You’re killing me here. Why would you want that?” An older lady looks over at us and shakes her head disapprovingly.

  “Sit up.” I laugh, slapping him on the chest. “I just told you why. And you can come too, you know. Only if you promise not to be a big flirt though.”

  He holds his hand up solemnly. “I'm wounded. What's it going to take for you to realise I only have eyes for you?”

  A blush creeps over my cheeks as I shake my head and laugh. “You and I both know you're not capable of having eyes for only one girl,” I say, as he sits up and straightens his shirt. “Which is precisely why you need to promise not to sleep with anyone I work with. They’ll fall for you and it’ll be a disaster.” When I look at him, there's something strange in his eyes, and for a brief moment, I wonder if I pushed too far, especially after I assured him I understood his anti-relationship stance.

  “It’s OK, Trina. I won’t hit on your co-workers. But I am going to have to decline. I kinda promised to do drinks at my office this week. My buddy Tom is having a birthday and we’re all going out after. I was gonna ask if you wanted to come to that.”

  “Oh.” I blink a couple of times, surprised he has plans without me. “Well, maybe we can meet up after?”

  “Won’t you be hanging out with Elliot? I thought things were moving forward with you two.”

  “Around work friends? No way. The whole point of this is to be seen without Elliot so they stop talking.”

  “Throw the scent off the secret relationship, huh? Sounds serious.”

  “I don’t know how serious it is. But we did make it official over the weekend.”

  His head jerks towards mine. “He’s your boyfriend now?”

  I nod. “He’s a good man, David.”

  “Yeah.” He pulls his phone out and checks the time, swiping away a couple of notifications. “I guess we’ll figure that one out soon enough, huh?”

  “Aren’t you even a little happy for me?” I ask, nudging him in the shoulder as he keeps his focus on his phone. “I took this slow, just like you suggested.”

  He puts his phone away with a sigh, slipping his arm around my shoulders before pressing a kiss to the side of my forehead. “If you’re happy, Trina, then I’m happy too.”

  “Thank you,” I say, relaxing against him. “I am happy. Everything is finally looking up.”

  Sixteen

  “Friday,” Elliot says in the gym at lunchtime. Skipping our usual run because of the rain, we're doing sit-ups and throwing a medicine ball to each other as an alternative.

  “It’s Wednesday,” I point out with a smile, catching the ball before touching it to the floor over my head.

  “I’m aware of that.” He catches the ball as I sit up and lob it back to him. “I’m talking about
Friday night. I want to take you out.” He mirrors my movement, lying back with the ball then throwing it back to me.

  “A date after work?” I grunt a little as I heft the ball. “Don’t you think that’s risky?”

  “As long as we don’t leave the office together, it should be fine.”

  “I don’t know. I promised Kayley I’d go to drinks then Pontoon with everyone.”

  “Is that wise?” he asks cautiously, keeping the ball and stopping the exercise. “We won’t be able to talk there without the rumours starting up again.”

  I rest my forearms on my knees. “Then we don’t talk. I think we need to show them you and I can be normal around each other. You’ve been going every week haven’t you?”

  “Yeah. I normally stop in so I can talk to the partners—networking, you know?”

  I nod my understanding. “Well, I think if I stay close to Kayley then head out with them afterwards—without you—it may just end any 'supposing' about what’s going on between us.”

  “Without me, huh?” He takes a deep breath, his eyebrows raised. “This is sounding less fun by the minute.”

  I tilt my head slightly, frowning as I reason it out. “You know we can’t go out with them all together. Bianca and Beth will most likely be there, and if Bianca sees anything or catches a picture of us, we’re fucked. She’ll send it straight to Priya then we’ll get hauled into her office again. I doubt she’ll let us off this time.”

  This time he lets his breath out, shoulders sagging slightly. “I think I could control myself, but OK. I get your point. I’ll stop by for drinks then go home like normal.” He raises the ball above his head to resume the exercise, touching it to the floor before it to me.

  I catch it but don’t sit back, still having more to say. “How about Saturday? I have squad training in the morning, but I can come see you in the afternoon? Maybe even dinner? You could show me your place?” I pull at my lip with my teeth as I let the suggestion hang in the air, knowing full well what being alone in his apartment with him would mean. I’m more than ready to have sex with him. I’ve waited weeks.