Struggle to Forever: a friends to lovers duet

by Lilliana Anderson

  A little ripple skitters through my stomach and shoots down between my legs. “Good dreams, I hope.”

  “Come home with me and I’ll show you.”

  “I’d like that.”

  The sexual tension is ubiquitous on the drive to his place. We keep catching each other’s eye and grinning, and it’s hard to stay in my seat and not jump in his lap to ride him while he drives. I’m not a door mouse in the bedroom. And I’ve really missed sex this past year. The promise of it throbs between my legs and dares me to take quite public risks.

  But I abstain.

  “Wait there,” Elliot says when he pulls over on a quiet street. I bite my lip in anticipation as he gets out of the car, walking around to my side to help me out. Holding my hand, he leads me to the entrance of a block of brown brick flats. It’s dark and fairly surrounded by trees, so I can’t see much, but I hear the whoosh of the ocean as I wait for him to unlock the main door.

  “How far away from the ocean are you?” I can’t help but ask.

  “One street,” he replies. “You can see the beach from the balcony.” We climb the beige-carpeted stairs quietly and stop in front of a brown wooden door at the top of the second flight.

  “This is it,” he says, looking back over his shoulder at me. With a click the door is open, and we step inside a narrow hall.

  The door swings shut, and he turns and pins me to it, his arms either side of me. I can’t stop the smile from spreading over my face as he looks hungrily into my eyes, clamping his mouth down on mine as he kisses me deeply. I slide my arms around his neck and press myself to him, curling my fingers through the back of his already messy hair. “Nice place you’ve got here,” I gasp with a raspy giggle. He hasn’t even turned the lights on.

  He reaches his hands down to my backside and hoists me up, so I have to wrap my legs around his waist. “I’ll show it to you later.” He carries me down the hallway, past a formal dining room, kissing me all the way until he reaches the lounge room and sets me down, kneeling in front of me. Only then does he pause and look at me. “You drive me wild, Katrina.”

  He smooths my hair away from my face and kisses a trail down my neck and chest, his hands moving to cup my small breasts and squeeze my already hard nipples. I let out a short moan as I lean my body into his hands, wanting more from him. He pulls my dress beneath my breasts and takes one little bud into his mouth, causing me to drop my head back and moan with pleasure.

  Guiding me until I’m lying, he slides his hand down my body and between my thighs. I part them willingly as I feel his fingertips brush the edges of my thoroughly damp panties.

  With his gaze connected to mine, I watch the pure bliss cross his features as he slips his fingers under the elastic waistband, over my mound and between my folds to the slick wetness of my arousal. I gasp, as I feel his fingers enter me, rocking my hips to the motion of his hand as it moves in and out.

  Dropping his head, he takes my other nipple in his mouth, circling his tongue as he slides his finger around my already swollen clit. I think I’m going to explode then and there and moan my impending orgasm.

  “Not yet,” he whispers, re-covering my breasts before getting up off the couch to scoop me up again and carry me to the bedroom.

  I watch his handsome face as he carries me down the hall. I’ve never felt this light and girly before. It’s incredible for a girl my size to be carried like I weigh nothing, a complete turn on.

  “You’re amazing,” I breathe, as he lays me down like precious cargo.

  “Reserve your judgement for when we’re finished. I haven’t done this for a while.”

  He doesn’t give me time to wonder how long it’s been before he leans down to kiss me deeply yet again, his tongue probing my mouth and dancing with mine. I catch his bottom lip in my teeth and gently suck as he pulls away.

  “Do you know how hard it was not to react to you in that dress tonight?” he says, as he undoes my belt and tosses it aside. “I wanted to slide my hands up those impossibly long legs of yours and have my way with you on that table in front of everyone.” Oh, hello!

  He grips the top of my dress and slides it down to expose my breasts fully. I lift my hips a little to aid him as he slips my dress down the length of my body and drops it on the floor.

  He stands and removes his own shirt and jeans, revealing the well-toned body I knew was under there. Every bit of him is hard, and I mean every bit. My mouth waters just looking at him. I move to sit, desperately wanting to run my hands down his chest and over his rippling stomach and down to his…

  “Lie back down,” he instructs. Obligingly, I do as he says. He runs his hands along my legs to hook his fingers into my panties and slides them off in one dramatic pull. He flicks them over his shoulder and grins devilishly at me.

  Kneeling on the floor, he grabs my legs, dragging them either side of him so his face fits comfortably between them. I let out my breath, slowly anticipating his mouth on me.

  “Tell me you want me, Katrina,” he breathes.

  I don’t even hesitate. “I want you, Elliot.” I need this.

  He lets out a moan of his own as he buries his face between my thighs, hungrily lapping at my juices and lightly flicking his tongue over my clit causing me to twitch my hips in response.

  “Oh god, I’m too close. I can’t take much more of this.” I grab his head, holding him to me as he sucks at my clit and swirls his tongue, teasing my entrance with his fingers.

  I call out his name, gripping his head tightly between my thighs as I explode, bucking against him as he drives his fingers inside me, curling them forward to rub that sensitive spot inside.

  I can feel another orgasm mounting and call to the heavens this time, exploding once more. It has been too long since I’ve had this. Too, too long.

  “Wow,” he says as he wipes at his mouth then climbs back on top of me. “I love how responsive you are.”

  I bite my lip. “You’re good at the touching and the licking,” I say, feeling flushed.

  He chuckles, kissing me so deeply I can taste my own sweetness in his mouth. “I’m going to fuck you now.” Reaching over to his bedside drawer, he pulls out a condom, sitting back as he applies it over his long thick shaft, while I watch unabashedly. He creeps over me and holds his weight, his arms either side of me as he nudges his tip at my entrance, locking my eyes with his, studying me.

  “I’m waiting for the fucking part.” I smile, lifting my hips to nudge him closer. He drives himself inside me with one swift movement. We gasp together at the erotic intensity of being connected so deeply, and he moves himself in and out of me in time with my own hips rocking.

  Each time he drives into me, I moan from the pleasure of it. “Do you think I can get you to come again?” he pants in my ear.

  “Keep going like this and you will,” I gasp.

  His steady rhythm is pushing and pulling at my insides, building my pleasure to the verge of exploding once more. I clench reflexively.

  “I don’t think I can hold on if you keep doing that.”

  “Just hold on. Hold on,” I cry, clenching tighter, my orgasm bursting through me for a third time, my starved body greedy for more. And more.

  This is exactly what I needed.

  He breathes out slowly as he shudders, his cock pulsing inside me as we collapse together, gasping for breath, our limbs all tangled up with each other.

  “I was right,” I remark, trailing my fingers up his back. “You are amazing.”

  He lifts his head and smiles brightly at me. “No, you are.” He kisses me again slowly this time, beginning to move inside me once more. I can feel his erection harden inside of me, and I gasp as he slowly grinds his hips into mine.

  I wrap my legs around his middle and pull him tightly against me. He lifts me off the bed so I’m sitting on him, rocking with him as I look into his eyes and can see his passion for me, his wanting of me. This time I don’t climax, but it is beautiful, sweet and slow.

  He get
s up and removes his condom, wrapping it in a tissue and dropping it in the bin in the adjoining bathroom. I can’t keep my eyes off his body and watch him shamelessly as he moves back towards the bed. Putting his arm around my waist, he drags me against him, wrapping himself around me, nuzzling my neck.

  “Sleep, beautiful,” he mutters against my skin. I wriggle to get comfortable, feeling safe in this cocoon his body has created around me. I close my eyes, and it doesn’t take long before his breathing evens out, and I know he’s sleeping.

  As the moments pass, I can’t seem to drift off. I’m exhausted and sated, but this tiny voice in my head keeps asking, why? Why did David break his promise? Why did he go with Beth and leave me there? Where is he now? I’m tempted to sneak out of bed to check my phone, but even I know that would be a shitty thing to do. Instead, I close my eyes again and force my breathing to slow down. Why does he have to keep hurting me? I shift slightly and wipe a wayward tear as it escapes my eye. Why aren’t I ever enough?

  Eighteen

  I’m pulled from my sleep by the sound of my phone ringing. Grabbing my dress from the floor, I race for it, thinking it’s David finally calling me back. But, the caller ID reveals it to be my mother. “Shit,” I say to myself, realising I forgot to call her last night to tell her I wasn’t going home.

  I clear the sleepiness from my throat and answer quietly, trying not to disturb Elliot.

  “Are you out training already?” my mother asks immediately.

  Wriggling into my dress, I’m relieved she hasn’t realised I didn’t come home, and I’m about to go along with it, but I’ve had enough of the tiny lies.

  “Uh, hi Mum. No, I’m not training.” Getting my dress into place, I move into the lounge room to talk.

  “Well, where are you? It’s six o’clock in the morning and your car’s not here.” She gasps as she realises what’s going on. “You didn’t even come home last night, did you?”

  “No, Mum, I’m um… with Elliot,” I admit, as I sit down on the brown leather L shaped couch and tuck my feet under my body.

  Suddenly, her whole demeanour changes. I can even hear the smile in her voice. “Oh, my goodness! Was it wonderful? Katey showed me his photo yesterday, and he is so attractive,” she gushes.

  “Mum!”

  “What?”

  “I’m not telling you that stuff.” I speak quietly into the phone, not wanting Elliot to overhear.

  “Sorry, it’s just a bit exciting isn’t it?”

  “I suppose so.”

  “I’ll talk to you when you get home then. You are coming home aren’t you?”

  “I’m not sure yet. I'll call you later to let you know.”

  “All right, just make sure you tell me this time OK? I got a shock this morning when I woke up and you weren’t here.”

  “I’m sorry for worrying you, Mum.”

  “That’s OK sweetheart, have a good time.”

  We disconnect, and I smile at my phone thinking about my mum and her love of romance. Then I open my contacts list and try David again. He still hasn’t called back and now it’s morning, I’m worried about him.

  No answer.

  Sighing, I get up and walk into the small kitchen to grab a glass of water, feeling surprised at how tidy it is considering Elliot lives on his own. There isn’t even a cup in the sink.

  Elliot’s hands snake around my waist as I stand facing the sink, drinking my water. He kisses my neck and asks, “Everything OK?”

  Setting down my glass, I turn towards him, kissing him back softly. He's put on a pair of cotton pyjama pants and has left his glorious chest bare. I run my hand over the firmness of his pecs.

  “Mmmm, yeah, everything’s fine. I just forgot to tell my parents I wouldn’t be home last night. My mum was worried.”

  “What about your dad?”

  “He’s probably still asleep at this time.”

  Elliot reaches up to my face and smooths my hair back behind my ears, gently caressing my skin with his thumbs. I close my eyes, enjoying the feel of him, enjoying that I’m finally alone with him, not having to worry if anyone can see us.

  He reaches down and opens the cupboard under the sink and takes a new Chux dishcloth out of the packet. I watch him curiously as he wets it and rubs some hand soap into it from the dispenser he has on the windowsill.

  He then comes back over to me and ever so gently wipes it over my face. My eyes widen as I realise what I must look like having slept in my makeup from last night.

  “Oh god, I must look a fright,” I exclaim, trying to take the cloth from him.

  He moves it out of my reach. “No, you look beautiful,” he says, kissing me quickly on the mouth. “You just don’t need to wear this stuff.”

  Ever so gently, he continues to clean off my makeup in slow deliberate strokes. Obligingly, I close my eyes as he glides the cloth gently over my skin.

  “Keep them closed.” His voice is just above a whisper. I hear him rinse the cloth to wash the soap out before he uses it to wipe over my eyes again. “Open.” I lift my lids, blinking rapidly until they feel normal. I watch his face as he studies mine and gently wipes the mascara from under my eyes. There’s something sensual about what he’s doing to me.

  I know in this moment that the slow part of our relationship is over. I need this man to take me forward. I’m willing to let go of the fear from my past relationships, and my hope for the one relationship I’ve yearned for over the years that will never happen. I’m ready to move forward and focus my affection on this man who is so strong, yet so gentle at the same time. I’m willing to put my hope in him.

  “There,” he says when he’s done. “Perfect.” He brushes his knuckles along my cheek, and I catch his hand with mine, pressing a kiss to his palm.

  He pulls me to him and kisses me, our tongues moving together as we moan into each other’s mouths, pressing our bodies into each other.

  His hands roam down my back and towards my buttocks where he grabs me and hoists me up onto the kitchen bench. Smiling into our kiss, he slides my dress up above my still naked hips. I part my legs further as he releases his erection, circling himself at my entrance and moaning, because I’m already tremendously wet.

  When he pushes inside me, I think fleetingly of a condom, although in this moment, I don’t care. I want to feel him inside me; just him and nothing else between us. I want to feel connected to him in the most intense way. I want him to make me forget…

  I gasp as his silken shaft slides deep inside of me, thrusting back and forth, igniting my body with a fire that feels ready to consume my senses.

  I wrap my legs around him tightly, pulling him into me as he climaxes first, pulsing his juices deep inside of me. He continues to move until he’s sure I’ve climaxed too. It’s obvious when I do, because my legs grip his waist like a vice, and I lift myself off the benchtop, calling out his name.

  He sets me back down and leaves us connected, looking at me suddenly stricken. “I…I’m sorry. That's the first time I have ever done that without protection before… I don’t know what came over me. I should have checked it was OK first.”

  I’m surprised by his reaction. “You’ve never had sex without a condom?”

  “Never,” he answers seriously.

  “Well, I guess that means you’ve got the all clear then? Health wise, I mean,” I ask carefully, not really wanting to ask the difficult question but knowing how important it was for both of us to be STD free.

  “Yes, I’m clear. What about you?”

  “I, uh, got tested in the hospital. Just to be sure, so yeah, I’m all clear. And um…I get Depo injections every six months. So I can’t get pregnant,” I assure him, feeling awkward but glad the air is clear.

  “Oh, good.” He breathes out his relief, kissing me again. “I don’t know what it is about you. I just keep doing things that aren’t normal for me.”

  He withdraws, and I feel the warm gush of his semen run out of me. He looks at it then looks at me lik
e he doesn’t know what to do.

  This really is the first time he’s had sex without a condom.

  I tell him to rinse the cloth again to clean us up. He insists on doing it for both of us, and when he finishes, he lifts me from the bench and sets me on the floor, before he drops the Chux into the garbage bin.

  “Breakfast?” he asks me.

  I nod my agreement, and he pulls out a chair for me at the small wooden table in the kitchen's corner that only seats two. I sit down, watching him move around, preparing toast and eggs with orange juice and coffee.

  When my phone beeps with a message, I jump up and retrieve it from the coffee table where I left it after speaking to my mother.

  The message is from David. Went by ur house but ur mum said u were out. Sorry about last night. I’m an idiot. forgot to charge my phone and couldn’t find u. Have been worried. Connor said u went home.

  I’m angry and grateful to David because if he hadn’t disappeared, I wouldn’t have just had a night full of mind-blowing sex.

  I take a breath and type back. Don’t worry about it, just glad ur safe. Was worried about u too

  He messages straight back. Where r u? Can we talk?

  Typing again, I answer: With Elliot. Talk tomorrow?

  I sit there looking at my phone waiting for the dots to dance again. I’m disappointed when it shifts to read and nothing else happens. Elliot moves into my periphery as he places our breakfast dishes on the table.

  “Everything OK?” he asks for the second time this morning.

  “Yeah, everything’s fine. Just David this time. Saying sorry for ditching me last night.” I move back over to the table and sit down with Elliot. “This looks great,” I tell him, starting to dig in.

  “I think I’ll have to thank David for ditching you last night. I would’ve had to settle for dreaming about you instead of getting to spend time with the real thing.”

  I blush a little. “You wouldn’t have had to wait long. I was supposed to come to dinner tonight remember.”

  “I remember,” he says. “Do you still want to do that? Or do you have to get home?”