Highland Fling

by Anna Larner

  “Hello again,” Eve said cheerily.

  “Hello.” Alice’s tone suggested to Eve that she was thinking, And you’re back again because now you want a hot chocolate?

  “I’ll lock up. We’re collecting termite spray, overalls, and the like.” Moira looked behind Alice for the items she needed.

  “I accidently disturbed them.” Eve shrugged and smiled at Alice, who didn’t smile back. Okay. Rude. “Moira saved me from them.” Eve’s words bubbled with admiration.

  “Oh, I see.” Alice briefly glanced at Moira, bent down at the cupboard.

  “Yes. I mean, I think we got them off quite quickly.” Eve was examining her clothes as she spoke, and when she looked up, Alice had already walked away towards the door. Oh my God. What is your problem?

  “Oh and Moira, Mr. Hughes rang for Dad. I told him he’d be back again this weekend. Moira?”

  Without looking up, Moira said, “Right, thanks, Alice. See you later.”

  Alice glanced again at Eve before leaving. It was almost as if in that briefest of moments she was deciding whether Eve was important and then quickly made up her mind that she wasn’t.

  “I’m sorry about Alice,” Moira said.

  Eve hadn’t realized that Moira had noticed Alice’s unfriendliness. “I get the sense that I’m not her favourite visitor.” Eve shrugged her words towards the door.

  “Yes, she’s not the most tolerant of people but then—masks and overalls, ah yes.” Moira stood from reaching into the cupboard. “Well, life hasn’t been that kind to Alice. Not that that excuses her rudeness. I fear that if she’s going to get through her work placement with us she’ll need to develop her customer care skills.”

  “It’s okay,” Eve said, distractedly, not remotely interested in acerbic Alice, as she rested against a trestle table, waiting patiently for Moira, unable to take her eyes off her.

  Moira asked, with a smile, “Are you staying in Newland long?”

  “Two weeks. It’s a bit far to come for anything shorter really. We’re from the Midlands.”

  “Right, I see.”

  There was a moment of silence, a silence which felt sad.

  “Here.” Moira collected something from the reception desk. “To take back with you to the Midlands…to remember us. I didn’t think you’d want the snake one.”

  “No.” Eve giggled, looking at a leaf-shaped green pin badge with the word Newland embossed in gold lettering, resting in Moira’s palm.

  “You can add it to your badges, on your rucksack.” Moira gestured towards Eve’s bag tucked between her feet.

  Eve felt her heart beating. Eve’s badges were an out and proud collection of gayness. They featured rainbow colours, with slogans of Glad to Be Gay, I can’t even think straight, and Some people are gay, get over it.

  “I don’t really collect badges as such,” Eve said, stumbling slightly over her words. “My best mate, Rox, well, we agreed that we would collect a badge from every Pride festival we’ve been to. So between us that’s about, wow, you know, at least eight. We’ve been to a few London Prides too. My rucksack is a fun place to display them I guess.” Eve searched Moira’s face for some sign of reaction. Nothing.

  Had Moira guessed that she was gay? Eve wasn’t sure how carefully Moira had read her badges. Was Moira familiar with Pride? Should she ask? Somehow it didn’t seem right, and in any case if Moira didn’t know about Pride, then that would likely mean that she wasn’t gay, and that Eve would never…Eve swallowed and looked directly back at Moira. Are you gay, Moira Burns? Everything about you tells me you are.

  “Can you?” Eve gestured towards the badge in Moira’s hand.

  Moira had expected Eve to take the badge from her and to pin it on her rucksack. Instead, Moira watched as Eve undid the zip of her raincoat, revealing her white linen shirt. She pulled the left side of the front of her shirt towards Moira. Moira leant forward and attached the pin, the edge of her hand resting briefly on Eve’s chest.

  Moira stood back.

  “Thank you,” Eve said quietly, adding, “for a lovely afternoon.”

  “My pleasure, Eve.” Moira held Eve’s gaze.

  Eve broke their exchange by re-examining the badge resting against her chest.

  Moira’s eyes followed.

  Holding the badge, Eve confessed, “I’ll treasure it.”

  Moira swallowed deeply. Her beating heart choked at her throat. “Eve, I—”

  “Okay, that’s the solution loaded on board.” Angus banged his feet on the coir matting as he entered the room. “Ready?”

  Startled, Moira turned sharply to face Angus. “Yes. Ready.”

  Eve zipped up her raincoat.

  Moira handed the masks and overalls to Angus. “I’m right behind you. I’ll just lock up.”

  “No rush, no rush. Nice to meet you, Eve. Hopefully, you haven’t been put off enjoying our wonderful woods.” Angus extended his hand and Eve shook it firmly.

  “No, no. I love it here. The woods and everything.”

  “Very good.” Angus looked across to Moira and then briefly back at Eve before leaving, with the words, “Very good indeed,” trailing behind him.

  “Well…thanks,” Eve said, turning away from Moira.

  Moira wondered at the emotion in Eve’s voice. “Eve?”

  “Yep, bye then.” Eve made quickly for the door.

  Moira folded her arms and looked out the window, to watch Eve hurry away towards the main road. In the car park, Angus waved goodbye to Eve, who waved back. Just before she turned the corner out of view, Eve stopped. She was patting her pockets. Moira looked around the table where Eve had stood. She didn’t seem to have left anything. When she looked out the window, Eve was walking back towards her.

  Moira walked out into the car park to meet her.

  “Have you forgotten something?” Moira glanced across briefly at Angus, who was leaning into the boot of the Land Rover. “Eve?”

  Eve’s face had turned pink. “Vanilla.”

  “Vanilla?” Moira asked, confused.

  Digging into her pocket, Eve pulled out the yellow flower of the broom bush. “It smells of vanilla.” Eve handed the flower to Moira, in a manner that someone presents a flower to someone they are declaring a passion for.

  “Right, yes vanilla.” Taking the flower from Eve, Moira felt her throat tighten again.

  “Moira, I…I…”

  Angus slammed shut the boot of the Land Rover. He called over, “Right, I’m ready to defend our woods from those munching invaders.”

  Moira turned around. “Okay, I’m right with you.”

  “No, no. I can cope on my own, Moira. You take Eve home. I think that’s best. I’ll catch up with you at the village meeting tonight.”

  Moira frowned. “Are you sure, Angus?”

  “Aye, Moira.” Tucking his empty pipe into his mouth, he started the engine and made his way back into the woods.

  Moira returned her gaze to the flower in her hand.

  “Sorry to make you walk me home.”

  Moira looked up at Eve, a slow smile drifting across her face. “Come on.” Moira locked the centre and led Eve around the side of the building to the staff car park. Next to a red Fiesta was a blue-grey Land Rover.

  “Yours?” Eve said, her mouth falling slightly open.

  Moira nodded. “Well, I wouldn’t want to disappoint you.”

  Eve said quickly, “I’m not disappointed—I mean, you don’t disappoint me.”

  Blushing and looking down, Moira briefly glanced up to Eve. “I’m glad.”

  *

  Okay. You can do this—just get out of the vehicle. You have to go home now. You have to leave her. The prospect of leaving Moira’s side was making Eve feel sick.

  Esther waved from the kitchen window, attracting the attention of Lillian, who waved too. Moira and Eve waved back.

  “Well…” Moira gave a long sigh. She sounded tired. The engine rumbled impatiently.

  “Yes, see you later the
n.”

  Moira nodded in reply.

  Eve clambered out of the Land Rover, holding her rucksack against her chest. She watched Moira release the handbrake. She was looking out in front of her. Eve closed the passenger door and watched Moira drive the few yards or so to her door.

  “Moira!”

  Moira was just about to step inside her croft when Eve rushed across the drive to her. She turned around.

  Eve noticed that Moira wasn’t smiling.

  “I wanted to say thank you again, for helping me with the ants. I mean, I hope I wasn’t too much of a drama queen.” There was an awkward pause. Eve twitched and checked her sleeve.

  “You may want to change your clothes, Eve. It will make you feel a bit more comfortable.”

  “Yes, good idea. I’m heading in for a long hot bath.”

  Moira nodded and turned to go inside.

  Eve knew she should leave, that she’d said thank you and that with every second she stood there she was looking more of a nuisance.

  “Have a good holiday, Eve.”

  Eve felt crushed, as if she’d been punched in the stomach. Moira might as well have said, Get lost, loser. She mustered self-control to say, “Yes, will do. Thanks again.”

  Just as Moira was about to close the door, Eve suddenly, and to her own surprise, blurted out, “I’m gay.” Okay, not keeping things to yourself then.

  Moira held the door in her hand. She looked serious for a moment. “I know, Eve, I know you’re gay.”

  “Right, my badges.”

  Out of the blue, a woman called out, “See you at the meeting tonight, Moira.”

  “Yes, see you then, Margaret.” Moira waved and dropped her arm heavily back to her side.

  Eve turned around to see who had interrupted them. A woman carrying a wicker basket filled with sprouting veg was straining her neck to see who Moira was talking to.

  Moira seemed to shift her feet impatiently.

  “Well, I thought you might want to know for certain, I mean in case…” Eve stopped talking and swallowed.

  Moira remained straight-faced. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to be rude, but I’ve got a meeting to go to and I’m already running late.”

  “No, no, of course, sorry, of course.” Eve turned around and walked towards Loch View. Oh my God, keep walking, Eve. Don’t look back.

  Eve let the front door bang shut as she hurried her way upstairs to her room.

  “Eve? Eve, darling, is that you?”

  “I’m having a bath and an early night. See you in the morning, Mum.”

  “What about your tea? Eve?”

  “I’m not hungry, thanks anyway, goodnight.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yes,” Eve called down with the most positive tone she could muster, before mumbling, “couldn’t be better,” under her breath.

  *

  “Hi, Angus. It’s Moira. Hi…Great, that’s excellent. Thanks for doing the spraying today. About tonight’s meeting—I’m afraid something’s come up, I’ll need to send my apologies…Yes, everything’s okay…Yes, see you then…Okay, bye.”

  Putting down the receiver, Moira poured herself a whisky and sank heavily into her sitting room armchair. Her head hurt. She rubbed her tired face, breathing in the scent of vanilla on her hands. Digging into her coat pocket, she pulled out the slightly crushed yellow broom flower. Stroking the bruised petals back into shape, she gently placed it on the side table. She looked outside to her Land Rover parked in the driveway, gave a slow smile, and shook her head.

  Chapter Six

  Eve was only just awake the next morning when her phone rang. She spoke to Roxanne from underneath her duvet. “It’s not funny.”

  “No, of course, it’s terrible.” Roxanne snorted away her laughter. “No, so, what happened again? I mean, what were you doing to be sitting on ants?”

  “I was on a walk. I was doing up my shoelace. How was I to know that a colony of termites had taken up residence?”

  “That’s priceless, Eve, priceless. God, I bet your mum and Esther freaked out.”

  “Well, that’s another story. Esther got the squits from Dad’s barbecue, so they all stayed at home…Rox?”

  Roxanne let out a whimper of pain from laughing so hard. “No, no, I’m still here, just spilt my tea. Right, the Highland Shits? Well, if it goes on too long, she’ll need to see a quack. In the meantime, Imodium, maybe?”

  Eve yawned a muffled, “Okay,” from behind her hand.

  “You sound a bit tired.”

  “Yeah, I am.”

  “So it was a long walk yesterday?”

  “Kind of. Well, it was a walking tour thing, although not many turned up and it ended up being just me and Moira. And that’s when I made a complete tit of myself by sitting on the bloody ants.”

  “Moira?” Roxanne asked, a hint of intrigue in her voice.

  “Our neighbour.”

  “What, the naked chicken lady?”

  “Exactly, Rox, the naked chicken lady.” Eve’s sarcasm was unusual for her.

  “Okay, mate, so she wasn’t naked.”

  Eve paused. “I stood in my knickers and raincoat in front of her. What’s more, I really like her, Rox, I really like her.” Before Roxanne could comment, Eve continued, “I told her I was gay and she said she knew but then—”

  “Stop, stop, stop. Back up. Why were you in your knickers?”

  “I took my trousers off because they were covered in ants.”

  “Right. And was she pleased you’d taken them off?” Roxanne’s tone suggested she was thinking, Oh my God, what are you telling me?

  “Pleased? No, I don’t think she was pleased. It wasn’t a case of Oh, thank God, I was desperate to see you in your knickers. She seemed, I don’t know, concerned.”

  “Concerned?”

  “Yes, in a professional kind of way.”

  “Right, okay. Then how did the gay declaration come about?” Roxanne’s voice betrayed her scepticism and growing concern.

  “Well, we’d spent quite a bit of time together over the last day or so, and it felt, I don’t know, Rox, it felt so easy to talk to her. It felt so good being with her, you know?” Eve’s enthusiasm for Moira was met with silence, prompting Eve to conclude with, “It just sort of came out. She’s really nice, Rox.”

  “I don’t doubt it for a minute mate, it’s just…”

  “It’s just what?”

  “Nothing. So how did she take the gay thing?”

  “Well, here’s the thing, she didn’t seem freaked out. She had a meeting to go to so—”

  Roxanne said quickly, “Is that what she said, she had a meeting to go to?”

  “Yes, she did, she wasn’t just saying it, I mean…” Eve paused.

  “So how did you leave things? When are you seeing her next?”

  “I don’t know. She wished me a good holiday and…”

  Roxanne said, cautiously, “Right, okay, that’s kind of non- committal.”

  “It’s the kind of thing you say when you’re not expecting to see someone again, isn’t it?” Eve said, feeling pathetic and embarrassed. “She’s not interested in me, is she?”

  “Give her a chance, mate, you’ve only just met her. Although…” Roxanne spoke delicately. “She seems to be playing it a bit cool if she is, but you never know, you never know.”

  Eve was silent.

  “Look, Eve, it’s okay to flirt, there’s no harm in it. She was probably very flattered.”

  “It isn’t just about flirting.” If Eve was honest, she wasn’t entirely sure what it was all about.

  “Right, well, of course, all I’m saying is, it’s okay to like someone. It’s just, well, she may not feel the same, that’s all.”

  Eve fell silent again.

  “Eve? Anyway. So you’re never going to guess what happened to me at work last night. I stitched this patient’s forehead wound up a little bit too tightly—left her looking like she’d just heard some surprising news—”
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  “Rox, perhaps, should I ask her out? Then I guess I’d know either way, wouldn’t I?”

  “What? Okay, who on earth is this chicken woman? And what spell has she cast on you? I mean, has she said she’s gay? Eve, you’re thinking of asking out a woman you’ve only just met, what, three days ago? And you don’t even know whether she’s into women or for that matter whether she’s single. I mean, how old is she?”

  Eve said quietly, “A bit older than me, maybe.”

  “And you say she’s nice? She’s unlikely to be single, mate.”

  Eve wanted to tell Roxanne that Moira didn’t wear a wedding ring and that she thought Moira lived alone, but she knew that didn’t help much.

  As if suddenly remembering, Eve said, “She gave me a badge. She said it was for me to remember her.”

  “Is that what she said? For you to remember her?”

  “Well, she actually said to remember us, but I know that she meant her, that it was a special gift for me.” Eve started to have a terrible sinking feeling.

  “That’s nice, Eve. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to piss on your parade. It’s fun that you fancy someone on your hols, just take care, yeah? Don’t do anything rash.”

  “I’ve lost it haven’t I?” Eve asked, defeated.

  “I didn’t say that, mate.”

  “I’ve been coming on to some random Scottish woman. Oh my God, what was I thinking? I can’t see her again,” Eve said, with a mixture of adamant resolution and distress. “It’ll be fine, in fact, there’s no reason for me to see her again.”

  “You worry too much. Really, you do, Evie. Speak soon?”

  Eve flapped back her duvet. The hens from next door squawked. “No reason at all to see her, no reason at all.”

  *

  “Thank God you’re up. I have to get out of here.” Esther’s eyes were wide with meaning. “Come on a walk with me?”

  Eve looked at Esther’s stomach. “Don’t you still have the trots?”

  “Let’s put it this way: at this very moment, the prospect of shitting my knickers up a mountain is less painful and humiliating than listening to Mum tell me that she thinks it will be unsurprisingly hard at my age to find someone new. At my age? I’m thirty not eighty for flip sake.”