Taming Eric

by J. a Melville

  “If you never got involved with her, you wouldn’t be in this situation now.” That little voice inside his head reminded him but he knew, no matter what the future held, he would never regret the time spent with her.

  When he finally got his tears under control, looking around self consciously in case anyone had seen him, but there was nothing, he swatted at his cheeks to wipe away the moisture. He had to get back, he’d left her alone for too long, over two hours from what he could see when he saw the time.

  His heart still hurt, every beat like a counter, adding up the time that she would no longer be in his life for. It was so painful for him to contemplate a future without Natasha in it. He couldn’t save them, but he could make peace with her and encourage her, rather than demand she do the pregnancy test so they knew which way their futures were going. He had to tell her why he was so scared to be a father and he had to tell her it was his own fears that made him say a pregnancy would have to be terminated. He didn’t mean that. He knew Natasha would make a wonderful Mother, he just wasn’t so convinced he was worthy of being any child’s father.

  “You are one fucked up fool Rothman.” He told himself. Fuck he’d heard the ladies in offices at Rothman Enterprises talking about those books with the fucked up billionaire. What did they say? He confessed that he was 50 shades of fucked up? Well, if they were after someone who was like that man in the books, he wondered if they even knew they didn’t have to look any further than their boss. “You’ve got nothing on me Grey.” He murmured to himself.

  He had to get back. He’d tortured himself with the ‘what if’s’ for long enough. It was pointless, he needed to talk to her, he needed to man up and although the thought scared the crap out of him, he needed to let her inside his head. With his mind clearer he turned the key in the ignition and when the powerful engine rumbled to life, he turned around and headed back towards his home, back to Natasha.

  CHAPTER 15

  When Eric finally turned into the driveway to his home he was surprised to see Maggie and Tom’s 4WD parked near the house. As he pulled up alongside of it, kicking up gravel with the Ferrari’s tyres he felt his heart fall down into his stomach when he realised Natasha was in the car. Fuck, she was leaving him?

  He leapt out of the car and walked over to the driver’s window of the 4WD. “What the fuck is going on? Where the hell are you going Natasha? Maggie what the fuck are you doing? Someone fucking well answer me.” He yelled, his rage out of control again within seconds of realising what was happening.

  He stepped back from the door when Maggie opened it up and got back out of the car, shoving him hard in the chest with the palms of her hands. She took him by surprise and he staggered back a couple of steps. “Don’t you dare use that tone with me lad. You respect me, you respect this lass.” She snapped at him, her finger poking him hard in the chest with every word.

  Eric was too worked up to show her the respect he knew down deep inside he should be showing her. “Fuck you Maggie.” He looked over her shoulder to where Natasha was cowering in the car. “Natasha get out of the damned car now.” He yelled. Maggie’s hand shot out slapping him hard across the face and his gaze lowered to her, shocked at her reaction.

  “Don’t you dare speak to me like that Eric and don’t you even think about getting Natasha out of this car. I’m about to take her to the airport so she can catch her flight home and if you know what’s good for you, you won’t try and follow us.” She shook with the rage running through her petite body and the look in her eyes was almost enough to make him flinch. It would have if he hadn’t been so angry himself.

  Suddenly the full impact of what was happening hit him. Fuck no, no, no, no, she couldn’t leave him. Not like this. Not when he was going to try and explain to her what made him the way he was. He wasn’t trying to make excuses for his behaviour but if she was thinking he was fucked up, she was right, what she didn’t know was why. He couldn’t lose her. He loved her. He wasn’t sure he’d survive without her. She’d taken his heart when he never saw it coming and now she was going to tear it from his chest and trample it under her feet like it was nothing? He had to find a way to stop her, somehow. He couldn’t let her drive away and leave him.

  “Natasha baby, don’t go.” His anger disappearing as the painful reality of his situation consumed him. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lost my temper with you. Come inside so we can talk about it.” He spoke to her softly while inside the little voice in his head begged her to stay.

  He could see the tears in her eyes and for a brief moment a tiny bit of hope flared to life inside him, that she might stay after all. Until she turned to face him and her eyes, fuck her eyes were blank, expressionless despite her tears. “I can’t Eric. My flight is booked, I have to go. I don’t want to miss my plane.”

  Frustration clawed at him and he began to pace up and down by the car. “Dammit Natasha, this is stupid. One fight and you’re running out the door?”

  “It’s more than that Eric and you know it. Besides we’ve had a good time but it’s over. It’s time to get back to the real world.” Her voice was devoid of all emotion. He was hearing her words, but he didn’t want to believe them.

  She couldn’t go, she couldn’t leave him. There had to be some way to keep her with him. Something he could say or do that would make her change her mind. Fuck what the hell could he say or do to keep her? Suddenly it dawned on him. The test. That fucking test that had brought them to where they were now. If she was pregnant, he still had a chance with her. “Baby you can’t go. You haven’t done the test. You can’t go until we know.”

  He watched her eyes rise to his again. “I’ve done the test, it’s negative. So you can relax. You’re off the hook. There is no baby.”

  Eric barely heard her words after she’d said the test was negative. There was no baby, fuck there… was… no… baby! That one slim chance he had was gone. That chance to keep her even if that was a low blow to use a baby as a method of holding her to him was no more. With those few words she’d destroyed that last shred of hope he had. There was nothing. He couldn’t hold her now, no matter what he tried. He’d lost, he’d lost her. The only woman he would ever love was going to drive off shortly and be gone forever from his life because he knew, his gut instinct told him she wouldn’t come back to him, not even as his PA. It was over, he’d fought to hold her and lost.

  His shoulders slumped in defeat. “Did you really think you could hold a sweet young piece of ass like that?” His father’s voice mocked him in his head. No, he didn’t, he had hoped he could, but he should have realised. No one wanted him, no one would ever love him. The only woman that had ever shown him love had double crossed him and was waiting to drive off taking his beautiful girl from him and out of his life.

  “I have to go Eric, I’m sorry but it’s over. I had fun.” Natasha’s voice cut through his thoughts, her words like salt rubbed into an open wound. It was over? She had fun? Fuck, that’s all it had been to her, fun? Just a good old fuck and now she was moving on?

  The pain lancing through his body was like having knives slicing into him and he looked down at his arms almost expecting to see bleeding cuts all over his body but of course, there were none. The knives were all inside, slowly, slicing their way through his heart.

  He could feel the pain being overshadowed with anger again at her calm dismissal of their time together. Hell he was all over the place emotionally right now. He was like a fucking roller coaster with his highs and lows, so much so, he was making himself dizzy. “You had fun? Well that’s just fucking great Natasha. I’m so pleased that you had fun.” His voice dripped with sarcasm and suddenly he wanted to hurt her as much as she was hurting him. “Well go then, fuck off, I don’t give a fuck, ok?” He backed away from the car.

  Maggie approached him and put her hand up to touch his cheek. Eric flinched from her touch, anger in his eyes when he looked at her. “Don’t you
be a fool lad and let your past screw up your future. Just give the lass some time. Let her go and you take this time to think about what you want. Not everything is as it seems.” She told him.

  Eric looked at her wondering what the hell she was going on about. The only thing clear to him was Maggie was taking Natasha away from him and the pain of her betrayal was as bad as losing the woman he loved. “What the fuck does that mean Maggie? You’re talking in damned riddles. Take her, you’d better get going.” He snapped and without waiting to see them drive off, he turned and walked into the house, hearing Maggie’s door open as she got back into the car and the engine start up but he wouldn’t look back.

  He stepped into the house that suddenly seemed to have no life. All was quiet but everywhere Eric looked he could see Natasha, hear her laughter, her voice teasing him when he’d had the floral oven mitts on, her cries as she’d climax, her soft moans when they were making love and he felt tears welling in his eyes as reality came crashing down around his shoulders.

  He heard the sound of Maggie’s 4WD drive off and he listened, frozen, unable to move, not even breathing, until he couldn’t hear the engine any more. Natasha was gone. The only woman he had ever cared about, the only woman he had ever loved was gone.

  Staggering, using the kitchen counter to brace himself on, Eric stumbled towards the stairs. Maybe upstairs he could escape the echoes of Natasha’s voice. When he finally made it up to the bedroom and his eyes fell on the bed, the image of her lying there sobbing from when he’d tormented her all day with the egg hit him and he clutched at his heart as pain lanced through him again.

  He walked over to the bed, his body aching, hunched over like an old man, everything blurred from the tears that were threatening to well over and run down his face. He bent down, picking up the pillow from the bed that Natasha had slept on and held it to face, breathing in deeply, the scent of her shampoo filling his nostrils.

  That was all it took, the tears began to flow faster and heavier and like a broken man, Eric dropped to his knees on the floor by the bed. His arms wrapped tightly around Natasha’s pillow and with his head buried in it, his shoulders shook and raw, sobs erupted from him, dragged up from the pit of his stomach as he gave in to the utter desolation and heart break that threatened to destroy him. He wept like he hadn’t wept since his childhood as he sat on the floor, his arms around the pillow which was quickly becoming wet under his cheek and he rocked gently while the pain of all he had lost ravaged his body. He sobbed noisy, gut wrenching, stomach turning sobs as he sat on the floor alone, heart broken, shattered.

  He hurt, he hurt so badly he wasn’t sure he could come back from this. He’d been here before when he was a child and he thought he’d got past ever having to endure this level of pain again, but he’d weakened, he’d given in to his desire to have Natasha and done the very thing he had spent years trying to avoid, he’d gone after a woman who was nothing like the cold, self centred women he normally favoured who he knew would never own his heart. She had wormed her way in and within just a few days, she had become the centre of his world and look where he was now?

  His heart was shattered, his body a mass of pain, his mind tortured with a mix of memories of his time with her and painful memories from his past meshing together as if trying to test his sanity. With every sob that ripped through his body, every hateful, cruel word his father threw at him filled his head, every day of pain he’d felt when he wasn’t enough for his mother and now each wonderful moment he’d spent with Natasha and the endless days, weeks, months of heartache that he was facing made him sob harder. He had nothing left, he was broken, he no longer felt like he had anything to look forward to, nothing to live for and he knew, he had hit rock bottom.

  Eric wasn’t sure how long he sat there, huddled over the pillow but finally his tears slowed and he sucked in a shuddering deep breath. He had to get out of here. There was no reason to stay any longer. This house that normally was a place of peace and tranquillity to him, now mocked him with images of Natasha wherever he looked.

  Slowly he climbed to his feet, feeling weak and unsteady. His stomach rolled over and he felt nauseous. Dropping the pillow, he half ran, half staggered for the bathroom as bile burned the back of his throat. He only just made it to the toilet and got the seat up before he emptied the contents of his stomach into the bowl, retching over and over until there was nothing left and he was reduced to the painful dry convulses of a stomach that had nothing more to give.

  With his throat burning from the acids he’d brought up and his eyes streaming, he turned to reach for the roll of toilet paper so he could blow his nose and wipe at his sore eyes and it was then that his eyes fell on something in the bin. It was the pregnancy test.

  Quickly he blew his nose and with shaking hands reached down to extract it from the bin. It was upside down so he turned it over his eyes focussing on the two little blue lines. Natasha had said it was negative and suddenly he had a need to confirm that for himself.

  He pulled out the long narrow box and just managed to read the directions written on it despite his vision still being slightly blurry from his tears. Immediately his heart thudded heavily in his chest. What the fuck? To be sure he wasn’t imagining things, he read over the instructions again and studied the test strip in his hand.

  As the reality of what he was seeing began to seep in the pain in his chest faded and burning anger took over. Natasha had lied to him. Fuck her, she had fucking lied to him. There was no doubt in his mind now. It was all there for him to see in front of him. Two blue lines was positive. She was pregnant and she had fucking lied to him. He didn’t know why but he sure as hell intended to find out.

  With the test strip jammed in his jeans pocket, he rushed back downstairs to find his mobile phone. He quickly put the call through that he wanted to fly out from Launceston Airport some time today. Arrangements were made to have the company jet ready, but it would still be about 4 hours before he could leave the State. It wasn’t ideal since he was suddenly eager to get back, but at least it was going to be today. He needed to get to Natasha so he could confront her as to why she’d lied and see what her intentions were. Fuck, would she have an abortion? He hoped not, but he had to get to her as quickly as he could.

  He called to arrange for the limo to pick him up in 2 hours time and once he was off the phone he went and pulled out his bags to start packing. His unexpected discovery of Natasha’s condition had lifted his mood a little. Anger over her deception had become his main focus rather than dwelling on the pain of not having her for himself anymore.

  Once he was packed, he walked through the house checking each room to make sure neither he nor Natasha had left anything behind. Satisfied that he had everything and not able to find anything of hers, he knew he had to go over to Maggie and Tom’s house to speak to her. He was still furious with her for siding with Natasha and he needed to know if Maggie had known about the pregnancy.

  He left his bags in the house since it was a bit over an hour before the limo was due to come and take him to the airport and hopped in the Ferrari for the drive next door.

  When he pulled up out the front of Maggie and Tom’s house they were sitting out on the front verandah of their home. They both stood up when he approached and Eric could see the tension on their faces. Maggie had good fucking reason to look tense. He was still so pissed with her for her hand in taking Natasha from him. He didn’t understand why she would help someone she’d only just met and turn her back on the person she had known for several decades, that she had cared for like a son but when it really came down to it, when he could have needed her help the most, she did like everyone else in his life, she turned her back on him.

  “If you’ve come here looking to start in on Maggie son, you can hop right back in that car and head back home.” Tom stood in front of his wife like her line of defence.

  “Don’t start with me Tom, I just want to talk to Magg
ie. Don’t fuck with me.” He tried to shoulder his way past Tom but the older man stood his ground.

  “What you need to say you can say from where you are son. You might not want to hear this but your lady put Maggie in an awkward position. She needed help and you know what my wife is like, how was she supposed to deny her. Natasha had no way of getting to the airport alone. Calm down and don’t go blaming Maggie because your woman didn’t want to be with you anymore. Perhaps you should be asking yourself why she didn’t want to be with you. I heard about the carry on from you when you drove off like a bat out of hell leaving Natasha alone, then acting all aggressively when you got back. I’m disappointed in you son after all Maggie’s done for you. She loves you, this wasn’t a case of her choosing Natasha over you but the poor girl was completely distraught, what was Maggie supposed to do?”