Eric couldn’t say anything. He just stared at her, his heart starting to beat rapidly as he listened to her words. Where was she going with all this? The look in her eyes was a look he’d never seen before and despite her pain from her fall she was smiling at him, so this had to be a good thing. Fuck he hoped so. If this was some twisted act on her part and she was building up to tearing his heart out of his chest, spitting on it and grinding it under her heel, he wasn’t sure he could survive that.
His tears had stopped but there was a lump in his throat and even if he wanted to answer her, he couldn’t. He’d choke simply trying to plus he was scared he’d fuck up, say the wrong thing and she’d lose that look she had on her face right now and go back to being angry at him.
He watched her take a deep breath, which made her wince. She must have hurt her head just filling her lungs with air and his heart ached for her. He wished he could take her pain away but he didn’t have that kind of power.
“I’ve been so stupid Eric. I’ve got everything I could possibly want or need and yet I nearly threw it all away because of three little words I thought would change everything when the reality is, I don’t need those three little words because you demonstrate every day that you care.” She dropped her hand from his face and took his hand in hers, raising it to her lips.
She was looking so nervous, almost terrified and she was making him nervous too. He wasn’t entirely sure what she was trying to say to him. It almost seemed like she was about to tell him she loved him, but surely not? That was probably just wishful thinking on his part.
“I love you Eric. I realised I love you in the hotel, but a part of me knows I loved you before then. I know I hated that you had all those different women. I would torture myself by looking at you in newspapers and online to see who the latest woman was on your arm. Our time together just brought it home to me how much I loved you. I love that I’m carrying your babies. I love you, so… damned… much.” She dropped a kiss on his hand with each word.
He stared at her, his mind was reeling and he’d heard her words but it was taking some time for the reality of it all to hit home.
“I don’t expect you to say those words to me. I used to but when you stormed out and I thought you were going to drive off so upset I finally realised I was being stupid holding my feelings for you inside, I had to tell you how I really feel. Even if you end up throwing them back in my face, I had to tell you. Finally I had to stop living in fear and just tell you, I love you.”
She fell silent watching him, anxiety in her eyes. She loved him. Ok, she had just told him, she loved him. His eyes travelled over her gorgeous face as he tried to digest her words. She’d just told him she loved him. HOLY FUCK! She’d just said that she LOVED HIM! As the full impact of her words finally penetrated, he felt his heart swell so much so that he thought it was going to explode in his chest. He started to shake, tears pricked at his eyes but he was not going to let them fall. He couldn’t believe it. She’d just said the words to him that he’d longed to hear his entire life. That he was loved and the one woman he loved more than life itself had just told him she loved him. Fuck, fuck, holy fucking hell!
His lips parted to answer her but nothing came out at first. No, he wasn’t just going to declare his love for her in case she thought he was spouting the words like some kind of reflex action to her declaration of love. No, he had to prove that he’d loved her for longer than she knew and there was only one way to do that.
“There’s something you need to know. Something I wanted to share with you when the time was right but as you know, all went to shit when I got home before your ultra sound. You wanted to know where I was? You asked why I had perfume on me? I could tell you what I needed Samantha’s help with but I think it would be just easier to show you.” He tried to tug his hand out from under hers. “I need to get up baby. Let me up for a moment, I’ll be right back.”
He stood up and headed into the walk in closet, going to the shelf where he’d hidden the ring. He slipped it into his pocket and stood there staring at nothing while he tried to come to terms with what Natasha had just told him. Fuck she loved him, she fucking loved him. A stupidly big grin crossed his face and he felt like fist punching the air and screaming “YES” but he didn’t, he simply walked out to the woman who loved him and sat back down alongside of her.
She looked at him, her eyes moving to his hands and when she saw nothing in them, she met his intense blue gaze, confusion showing in hers. He took a deep breath and felt the familiar wave of fear clawing at him. Even knowing that she loved him didn’t completely alleviate his old insecurities. He wasn’t accustomed to putting his heart on the line and a part of him was still terrified of being hurt, of being rejected. “Oh for fuck sakes man up.” The little voice in his head told him and with his heart pounding so hard he was sure she’d be able to hear it he reached into his pocket and pulled out the little white velvet covered box.
He watched Natasha’s eyes shift to it and widen when she saw what it was. Slowly he lifted the lid, not taking his eyes off her face. His stomach tightened with nervous tension as he tried to read her expression. What was she thinking?
Her eyes rose to his and he smiled at her seeing her face light up in an answering smile. He picked up her left hand, holding it in his. “This is what Samantha helped me with baby. This is why I was late today. I wanted to present you with it tonight after we’d seen our babies. The reason I had Samantha’s perfume on me is because she hugged me after we picked the ring baby. She was excited for me. She wished me luck that I would be able to coax you into marrying me.” He pulled the ring from its box and slipped it onto her finger. It fit her perfectly, the large diamond spanning the width of her finger. It looked stunning on her and suited her perfectly just as he’d hoped it would.
He watched as she turned her hand watching the way it sparkled under the light. “So baby, are you going to make an honest man out of me? Will you marry me?” His heart rate increased until it was thundering away in his chest, his anxiety level at almost breaking point as he waited for her to respond.
She looked up at him, her eyes shifting over his features and a brilliant smile lit up her face. She nodded, her eyes sparkling with happiness. “Yes oh god, yes Eric. I love you, of course I’ll marry you.”
At her words, relief surged through his body and for a brief moment he felt light headed before happiness unlike anything he’d ever experienced in his life flowed through him and as that happiness flooded him, he could feel a lot of the pain from his past flowing from him. It was like the happiness and contentment he was finally experiencing was the balm, the cure to all the years of pain he’d carried around with him. He’d only existed all these years until Natasha. She’d come along and saved him, she’d saved him from his own gradual destruction.
He lowered his head, his lips closing over hers and he kissed her slowly and carefully, not wanting to risk hurting her, reining in his desire to deepen the kiss because the reaction was always the same for him. As soon as he touched her, his passion for her was ignited.
Reluctantly he lifted his head and sat back up to grin at her. “You want to know something? You talk about love, but you aren’t the first one to talk about love baby.” Suddenly he felt free to open up his heart and his feelings to her. She loved him, she was his, she wasn’t going to hurt him. He could share his feelings with her now without being terrified of making himself vulnerable to pain, he could trust her with his heart.
Her eyes widened. “What do you mean Eric?”
“I think you stole my heart a long time ago baby. I used to watch you around the office and all I could think about was you, even when I was with whatever girlfriend I had at the time. They were just empty shells compared to the woman you are. Then the chance came for our week away and you wanted to go. I mean, I knew there was some sort of attraction between us, but I never in a million years expected it to be the way it
was. You have no idea how much it blew me away to find that you were a virgin.” She blushed which always amazed him when she was so hot and passionate when they were in bed, yet she could be so shy out of it. He touched her cheek. “Don’t be embarrassed baby. I was in shock that you decided to give your virginity to me knowing the kind of person I was. How I couldn’t stay with one woman for very long, but then as the days passed I realised that I didn’t want our time together to end. The sex is amazing, you’re amazing and so beautiful. Then there was Bondi Beach and you have no idea how jealous I was over you and that idiot.” When Natasha frowned he grinned. “Ok, Brodie. You seemed so comfortable with him, more than you were with me and I hated it baby. You have no idea how much I just wanted to ram my fist in his face.”
Natasha laughed. “Eric, he meant nothing to me. He’s a friend and he is very different to you, nowhere near as intense as you can be. It was nice to be able to laugh with him, but I had no interest in him, it was always you, it’s always going to be you.”
Her words definitely warmed his heart but no matter what she said, he was always going to be a bit jealous of Brodie. Something about that man just rubbed him up the wrong way and brought out every cave man instinct he had.
“I was scared baby, scared he might have the power to take you away from me. That’s why I suggested we go to Tasmania, to get you to myself and it was perfect there. That’s where you gave me this.” He held up his arm where the bracelet she’d given him still sat. He hadn’t taken it off even a single moment since she’d given it to him and the only way anyone was getting it off his arm was if they cut it off. “No one had given me anything before baby. I was completely overwhelmed by your generosity and plagued with guilt because if I hadn’t have been such an arse when you went out on your own, you would have given me the bracelet that night. I treated you so badly when you got back to the hotel and I forgot the condom which is why we’re now only a few months off becoming parents and no, I’m not regretting that you’re pregnant. Yes I was terrified at first but I hope you know how hard I’m going to try to be a good Father.”
Natasha smiled at him. “You’re going to be a wonderful Father Eric, I know it.”
“Everything in Tasmania was perfect. Right up until our fight. I thought my heart had been ripped out of my chest when you said you were going. Ok, I know I was an arse about you possibly being pregnant but I was terrified and you know why.”
She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Just because your Father was a bastard, that doesn’t mean you will be like him. You’re nothing like him.”
“I hope so baby. I still feel scared sometimes but I’ll try damned hard to be the best Father I can.”
She simply gave him a loving smile and his heart skipped a beat knowing that love in her eyes was for him. “I know you will. If I had any doubts about you do you think I’d be here?” She told him.
He grinned. “Well I didn’t give you much of a choice baby. I kind of forced you into staying here.”
She laughed. “Yeah my Mother was pretty keen on getting me here. She told me when I was in hospital that you loved me but I didn’t believe her. I didn’t think you could love anyone let alone me. Damn I should have listened to them Eric, even Maggie told me that you loved me and to be patient with you. She told me not to give up on you. I wouldn’t let myself trust you because I was so sure you’d end up hurting me. I was on my own path of self destruction. I think I had an idea in my head that you were going to let me down or leave me and some crazy part of me tried to drive you into doing just that.”
“I could have showed enough balls to tell you I loved you baby rather than waiting until you were asleep to tell you.” He admitted.
Natasha’s eyes widened. “You told me you loved me? When we were in Tasmania I was almost asleep and I thought you told me you loved me but when I asked you about what you said, you told me to forget it. It was easy for me to do as you said because I didn’t believe you could ever love me anyway.”
Eric’s smile was a little embarrassed. “I know baby. I was a fool, scared so scared I’d lose you. Terrified to love you because I was so sure you’d go eventually when you decided I wasn’t worth it.”
“Well I love you Eric, I will love you until I my body draws its last breath.” She said and Eric’s heart skipped a beat. He still couldn’t believe it. Was he dreaming all this? Would he wake soon and find it had all been a dream? His eyes met hers and the warmth in her eyes, the sweet way she watched him like he meant something to her made him realise, this was real. He’d got the girl, finally, she was his.
“As I love you baby.” He replied. “I will never love anyone the way I love you. I have to be sure you realise what it means to wear my ring sweetheart. Now that it is on your finger and once we marry, you are mine forever more. I won’t ever let you go again as I did in Tasmania. You are mine until we are old and grey. As the vow says baby, you are mine until death do us part.” His voice shook with emotion. He really meant that too and he hoped she was taking him seriously. He would never let her go again. He couldn’t, it would tear him apart to lose her.
She reached up and touched his cheek. “I think I can live with that.”
“How about we get your Mother in here and Alice to tell them what’s happening?” Eric said, raising her hand to his lips.
“My Mother is here?” She looked surprised.
He nodded, explaining that Kathryn had been there long enough to see her. “You weren’t out that long but long enough to scare the hell out of me. If you don’t stick to using that damned lift I’ll strangle you. Do you hear me?” He warned and Natasha grinned at him. She’d better bloody well listen to him from now on because he wasn’t sure his heart or his nerves could take going through that kind of hell again. He wasn’t going to forget in a hurry the memory of her tumbling down those fucking stairs and him not being able to get to her before she fell. He thought he was going to lose her and their babies. She’d scared him half to death.
“I promise.” She reassured him. “You know we will fight and probably often? It’s kind of fun to spar with you Eric. It’s fun to try and match wits with you, even when you are teasing me.”
“Of course we’ll fight baby but we make up so perfectly.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her with a fake overly suggestive look and Natasha laughed before clutching at her head. Instantly he felt guilty. Fuck he was causing her pain. All this had been too much for her given she’d just had a nasty fall. “God baby, I’m sorry. You should be resting and I’m making your pain worse. You should sleep. I want you feeling well again.”
“I can rest later Eric. We’ve had so much to talk about but I suppose I should see Mum. I’m surprised she hasn’t burst in here by now.”
“I’ll go and call her in.” He stood, dropping a kiss on her lips before walking over to the bedroom door. He walked to the top of the stairs and called for Kathryn who appeared with Alice.
“Is she awake?” Kathryn asked and Eric nodded.
“She is, you might want to come and see her now.” He waited while both women walked up the stairs. Kathryn didn’t wait for him though and rushed past him and into the bedroom.
“Oh baby girl, what did you do to yourself? Eric told me you fell down the stairs. Why were you on the stairs in the first place? You’re supposed to take the lift.”
Eric moved over near the bed and kept quiet while Kathryn and Natasha talked although it sounded more like a lecture from Kathryn than anything else. Still he had to agree with the woman, Natasha needed to listen when people were trying to give her advice or suggest things for her own safety. The problem was Natasha rebelled against him because she thought he was trying to control her but ok, he knew he could be bossy but everything he did he did because he wanted to keep her safe and to spare himself a potential ulcer and Natasha was going to give him the ulcer to end all fucking ulcers if she didn’t damned well listen to him. Maybe now
she knew he loved her, she’d pay more attention to him from now on.
While he stood listening to the exchange between Mother and daughter Alice came up beside him and put her hand on his arm. He turned to her smiling and when she looked up at him, her gaze searching his, her face lit up in a wide smile. “Oh my boy. Finally, you two have sorted yourselves out haven’t you?”
Sudden tears tightened his throat and all he could do was nod at her and pull her into his arms for a quick hug. “I’m so happy for you Eric. I hope you now understand that you deserve this, that you deserve to be happy.” She said and again he nodded.
He gave her shoulders a squeeze before letting her go to walk over to the bed. Alice followed him so they were all standing around the bed but he was worried about Natasha. He could see some strain and the shadow of pain in her eyes. She needed to rest. “Ok ladies, I think Natasha’s been lectured enough for one day and besides I’m sure she’s in need of some rest.”
He saw Natasha frown at his words but he met her eyes and winked before moving to her side and taking her hand in his. He made a show of kissing her palm before turning her hand over so the diamond ring on her finger caught the light and he waited to see if either of the older women would notice.
It was Kathryn who spotted the ring first. “Is that what I think it is?” She shrieked and her daughter pulled a face when her Mother’s excited scream must have caused her pain. Kathryn saw her daughter’s face. “Oh sorry baby girl. Now is this what I think it is?” Her eyes shifted between the pair of them and they both nodded.
He dropped his head kissing Natasha, his tongue coming out to trace her bottom lip before he lifted his head again.
Taming Eric Page 45