Stepbrother Inked

by Violet Blaze

  “It'll be okay,” Flor whispered, leaning in close enough so that only I could hear. “I promise.”

  “I left work for this,” Art said, looking at my stepmom and not at us. I was glad; he kept his voice far more pleasant when he was talking to her. “I hope this is as important as you say it is.”

  “Of course, honey,” River said, looking back up at me and Flor. “I learned something today that involves our children.” Her words cut across the sudden silence like weapons as my dad slowly turned his gaze over to us. “What I discovered is … ” She took another deep breath and reconsidered her words. I knew Flor was continuously frustrated at his mother and her psychology degree, that he hated being treated like a client, but this time, I was grateful for it. It looked like she was trying to take the 'empathy, congruence, and unconditional positive regard' that was at the basis of her therapy sessions and bring it here. Flor might be pissed, but River's tendency to adapt to stressful situations like this might actually be to our benefit. “You know how Jacqueline called me this morning and asked me to stop by?” Jacqueline was the owner of the shoe shop beneath my apartment, part of the building that my stepmom owned outright. Ugh. Things could get bad quick.

  My dad nodded and River continued while I stood there like a person awaiting an oncoming train. I could see it coming, knew how bad it would hurt, knew that it would most likely kill me, and yet I couldn't move.

  “Well, I did,” River said and then laid her fingers on my father's forearm. “And while I was there, I thought I'd stop by and pay Abi a visit.”

  Flor reached out suddenly and grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze. My father noticed and frowned, but didn't say anything.

  “Okay?” he prompted, his voice low and much gruffer than usual.

  “I'm going to tell you my observations and then I'm going to let the kids explain. I think we should try our best not to judge.” We all knew that was wishful thinking. My dad was pure logic and hard facts and judging was something he did best. Having your two kids, even if they weren't related by blood, get together in any sort of capacity was not ideal.

  I closed my eyes.

  “I found them kissing in the stairwell.”

  River exhaled like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

  “Kissing?” My dad didn't sound angry yet, more like he was confused. “Kissing who?”

  “Each other. Art, Abigail and Florian are … they claim to be in love.”

  Silence.

  “Art?” River's voice sounded worried. Not good. Still, my eyes felt like they were glued shut. I couldn't force them open. And then, the sound of a chair being scraped across the floor.

  “You son of a bitch!”

  My father's yell jolted me awake. That, and the sudden absence of Flor's warm fingers wrapped around mine as he stumbled away from my dad and backed towards the kitchen, hands held up and palms forward placatingly. My dad moved after him while River tried her best to intervene.

  “Art, please!” she shouted, grabbing onto his arm as he took a swing at Flor and hit him right in the face. Blood streamed from my stepbrother's split lip and dripped onto the black fabric of his T-shirt. “Don't you dare hit my son again!”

  I should've done something, but I couldn't. My family is falling apart. I did this.

  “I should've thrown you out of the house a long time ago,” my dad snarled, looking like a monster even in his glasses and his perfect slacks. “What have you done to my daughter?”

  “I haven't done shit!” Flor screamed back at him and I felt the air heat with long suppressed rage and anger and resentment. It stirred the air between the two of them, turned a tempest right there over the dining room table. “She loves me Art. I love her. If you'd open your eyes for two seconds to see that, if you let her be herself instead of judging her all the time, maybe you'd have figured that shit out by now.”

  My dad let fly another punch, hitting Flor right in the nose, but he didn't fight back. His fists were clenched and his green eyes shone with rage.

  “Get the fuck out of my house and don't come back here.”

  “Art, stop,” River pleaded, grabbing his arm. “It's not just Florian. This thing goes both ways.”

  “I want him out. End of discussion.” My dad turned to me then and a fire lit up his eyes like I'd never seen. I wanted to melt into the floor, disappear into a puddle and never come back. “We're cutting him out of our lives like we should've done a long time ago. He's a poison.”

  “You can't make decisions like that!” River screeched, her practiced professional patience disappearing in the wake of her anger. I'd debated before if she loved my father or her son more; I was afraid I was about to find out.

  “He's a lost cause, River. Look at him!” My dad thrust a finger out towards Flor. “Do you want someone like him around our daughter?” The implications of that turned Flor's anger into a violent rage and I watched in horror as he grabbed my dad by the back of the shirt and yanked him away from his mom.

  “Get the fuck away from my mother,” Flor snarled as my dad and him got up in each other's faces.

  I ruined my family.

  I had known this might happen, had been prepared to choose Flor over our parents, but I guess I hadn't actually realized what that would be like. In actuality, I felt like I was in a horror movie. I'd rather have a serial killer take a knife to my throat than have to deal with this mess I've made.

  “Are you going to wait until this one grows up, too? Prey on her like you did Abi?”

  Flor punched my dad in the face and my stepmother screamed as the two of them exploded into fists. How did this get so bad so fast?

  I started to back away, watching as River miraculously managed to step between the two.

  “Art,” she said, trying to regain some of her composure and failing. I felt her gaze land on me. “This is not just Florian's fault. Maybe your daughter seduced him? Did you ever think of that?”

  My heart broke in my chest.

  My stepmom was throwing me under the bus just like that while my dad eagerly salivated at the thought of throwing away a kid he'd raised for the past thirteen years, making threats he knew weren't even remotely true. Flor didn't prey on me. He wasn't a danger to our unborn sister. This wasn't about us being siblings. In fact, our love was in spite of that. It had to overcome one of the greatest obstacles of all time. But as I watched the situation before me unfold, I had a terrible thought.

  “I knew it,” I whispered as I watched them glare at one another. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. “I knew Flor and I being together shouldn't matter because we aren't family. This,” I gestured weakly at the three of them. “This isn't a real family at all. It never was.”

  I turned and ran from the room, snatching Flor's keys off the entryway table as I went.

  I heard him call out after me, heard the sound of his boots, but I slammed the door in his face and bolted down the steps and into the car before he could reach me.

  When I peeled out of the driveway, the last thing I saw were his green eyes watching me go.

  “Are you sure you don't want to pick up the phone?” Addi asked, trying to hand me my cell. I stayed where I was, curled up next to her on the couch and refused to take it. “This is like the tenth call in as many minutes.”

  I shook my head and swiped tears away. I figured Flor would be here right after me, but he hadn't shown up yet. I mean, I knew I was the one that had run out, but I'd wanted him to follow after. If he had, it would mean that this wasn't over yet, that we could still be together no matter what.

  “Who's it from?” I asked, my throat creaky and my words warbling.

  “Your dad. Again.”

  I sat up and hugged a pillow to my chest, painfully aware of Patrick's desperate attempts to not intrude on our girl time. He was in the kitchen trying to make himself something to eat before he left to go to a job interview.

  “If it's Flor, I might take it,” I whispered. “Nobody else.”

 
Addi sighed and watched me with sympathetic eyes. At least I had her to count on. She'd known about my Flor obsession since forever and hadn't shunned me for it. That's what real family was all about. Real family stood by you no matter what, didn't judge, let you be yourself and loved you for it.

  “But I guess he's not calling.” I paused and wiped away a sniffle. “Or coming.”

  “You guessed wrong, dope.” The door swung open and Flor marched in, his face a bloody mess and his clothes rumpled from the fight. I wanted to stand up and throw myself at him, but I didn't. I made myself sit and wait for him to come to me, to wrap me in his arms and pull me against him. His fingers brushed through my hair and drew a shaky breath from my chest. “Sorry I took so long. You took my car, remember? And the fight didn't stop after you left. Your dad rushed me.” I curled my fingers in Flor's shirt. “And then my mom took off and we got into yet another fight trying to stop her. I have no idea where she is right now and she won't answer her phone.”

  “I ruined our family,” I whispered. “I'm sorry.”

  “No,” Flor growled sharply, squeezing me even tighter. “You didn't. What happened back there … there were a lot of feelings that needed to come out. Your dad's never liked me, and my mom's always kind of resented him for it.”

  “But they're the perfect couple,” I whispered and Flor snorted.

  “Even perfect couples fight every now and again. Some things needed to be said and they were. It wasn't pretty, but it happened.” He paused and I felt his breath catch. “Besides, it doesn't matter. They're adults and we're adults. They can do what they want to do and so can we. Abi, I spent all these years avoiding an 'us' for this very reason, but now that I've let myself have you … I could never let you go. I'd choose you first for infinity.”

  My throat closed up and Addi excused herself, grabbing Patrick by the arm and steering him from the room.

  Flor ran his hand down my side and rested it on my hip, just over my tattoo, and then we sat in pained silence for awhile.

  “I'll talk to my mom again,” Flor said finally, breaking the quiet and drawing his cell from his pocket. He dialed her up and got no answer, shooting off a quick text before he scooted me off of his lap. “Just as soon as I can get ahold of her.”

  I watched a frown cross his lips and sat up, feeling groggy and waterlogged, like my emotions were too heavy to bear. But bear them I would. This thing with Flor and me, it would work. I would make sure of that.

  “First,” I told him, reaching out a thumb to brush his bloody lip. One of his lip rings was missing again. Not good. He flinched, but he didn't pull away. “We need to get you cleaned up.”

  Flor showered and switched into a change of clothes that he'd left in my top right dresser drawer for our sleepovers before planting a searing kiss on my mouth and leaving to find his mom. Meanwhile, I paced and let Addi force a beer on me, gazing down at my phone and wondering if I should just delete all of the voicemail that my dad had left me. It couldn't be good, really. None of it could. In the back of my mind, I held onto the hope that my dad would just give up and turn a blind eye, pretend none of this was happening and go on like he always had, but I knew the situation had grown beyond that, morphed into a monster that I wasn't capable of controlling.

  “River's a grown ass woman, Abi. If she doesn't want anyone to find her, it's not like it's hard. Maybe she got a hotel room for the night? Stopped over at a friend's house? Hell, she could be sitting in her office right now trying to figure things out.” Addi paused and twirled the empty brown bottle in her hands, eyes focused on the label and not on me. “As for your dad, maybe you should hear what he has to say? Running from things won't make them any better.”

  “I know,” I moaned, slumping over the counter and gazing at Addi from the corner of my eye. “Logically, I get that, but at the same time, I'm terrified of what he's going to say, how he's going to look at me.”

  “Then maybe it really is best that you go and see him, talk with him about this when Flor and River aren't around. Honestly,” Addi said, her voice getting that I told you so tone in it, “that might've been a better way to go about it to begin with. If you two hadn't been rutting in the hallway – ”

  I cut her off.

  “We were not rutting,” I said indignantly, standing up straight. “We were … necking or something.” I flushed. “And anyway, River hasn't stopped over here once since we moved in. How was I supposed to know that she was just going to randomly show up today? At the most inopportune moment, too.” I sighed and rested my fingertips on the counter. My homework problem hadn't disappeared with the revelation and there were a ton of errands I still needed to take care of.

  I looked Addi straight in the eyes.

  “Oh hell no,” she said, sounding like Theo for a second, all sass and snark. “I am not going with you to talk to your dad.”

  “Addi, please. He actually likes you. If you're there and you show him there's nothing to worry about, that I've got someone on my end who supports me, then it might help.”

  “I think you've gone completely bat shit,” she said, but she was already standing up and adjusting her outfit just so.

  “Thank you,” I blurted before she'd even agreed, coming around the counter to give her a hug. “When you and Patrick have your first kid, I promise to babysit.” Addi rolled her eyes and hugged me back.

  “Trust me, for this, you'll be babysitting all my kids every weekend, birthday, and holiday. And I can assure you, I'm going to collect.”

  My dad's car was still in the driveway when Addi and I got to the house. Somehow, I'd managed to make the short drive into an adventure, steering us off on other enterprises. I'd stopped by the store and picked up a few nonperishables, filled up at the gas station, and deposited an eight month old check that I'd gotten from Flor's grandma for my birthday. Eighteen dollars richer and forced to feel Addi's scrutinizing gaze as I weaved around town desperately trying to avoid the unavoidable.

  “I can't do this,” I told her as we pulled up and sat there in silence for several moments. “I can't face him.”

  “Abi,” Addison said, turning and taking my hands in hers. “If you really love Flor which, to be honest with you, you must because nobody in their right mind would put themselves through so much shit for a fling, then you can do this. Once it's over, no matter what happens, at least it'll be done. You can stop worrying and wondering and get on with your life. Now,” she reached over and unhooked my seatbelt, “stand up and move your ass up those steps.”

  I sighed and did as she said, relieved when she got out of the car and came with me. I'd been half-expecting her to bail.

  “Dad?” I asked, stepping quietly inside with Addi on my heels. He wasn't in the living or dining rooms, so I checked the kitchen and saw him out back, elbows on his knees, sitting on one of my stepmother's DIY Adirondack chairs. “Dad?” I slid open the back door and he turned to look at me, a frown creasing his lips as I slipped outside. Instead of coming after me, Addison shut the door behind me and locked it. That bitch. I turned back to my dad and swallowed hard.

  “What the hell are you thinking, Abigail?” he asked me, turning his gaze back to my stepmother's garden. It was so perfectly tended, not a weed in sight. All organic, of course. River didn't believe in pesticides, so she pulled each and every weed out by hand, even the spiky ones. “Florian, even in the best of circumstances, is not a man that you should be betting your future on.” He scoffed and shook his head as I leaned against the glass and tried to still the frantic beating of my heart. “Even then, he's your brother, Abi.”

  “Step,” I corrected, as I'd done a million times before. My dad glanced sharply over at me.

  “You grew up together,” he said, voice hard and unyielding. “I brought him up as my own son. Just like River treated you as her daughter.”

  “I grew up with Addi, too,” I said. “I've known her longer than I've known Flor even. And Max. I knew him just as long. Dad, Flor was never a brother to me. H
e's … the childhood friend I always dreamed of being with.” I flushed bright and looked away. This was not the kind of conversation I wanted to be having with my father. “Besides, you never treated him like a son. Dad, you've always hated Flor.”

  “I don't hate him,” he blustered, but I wasn't done talking.

  “And River's always been nice to me, but like a distant aunt or something. She was never really my mother either. That whole my kid, my problem thing you guys worked out might've been the perfect solution to keep your relationship strong, but Flor and I aren't siblings, Dad. And I'm in love with him.” I took a shaking breath. “And please don't make me choose one or the other of you. It would break me.” I felt a little like Ariel in The Little Mermaid, but brushed that aside. This wasn't a shallow, fleeting feeling that would fade with time. Obviously I'd tried that. Didn't work. My love for Flor was like one of my stepmother's weeds. No matter how many times you tried to get rid of it, it came back. And besides, what is a weed really anyway? Just a native plant that grows well where it's supposed to, just something whose value hasn't been discovered yet.

  I took a step forward.

  “If you think you're going to get my permission to … to … sleep with your brother then you have another thing coming, Abigail.” My dad cringed like he'd been struck, shaking his head and standing up. Luckily, when he moved to the sliding door, it was unlocked. Addi, you sneaky bastard. I followed after him as he moved into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of wine.

  “I'm not asking for your permission,” I told him, putting my fingers in my pockets like Flor always did. “I'm telling you the truth. I'm telling you what's going to happen and hoping you love me enough to accept me for it. Flor and I are going to be together.”

  “And how did you think it would work when you got married? Had a child?” My father sipped his drink and checked his cell, but he didn't look at me.