by Shouji Gatou
Despite my decision, I couldn’t go to sleep right away that night. There was something else I had to do. I booted up the PC that I had just finished putting together this year. I didn’t have a lot of money to spare, but I’d gotten a good Intel i7 (I used to be an AMD stan, but I eventually had to give up on it). I’d also splurged for a 16GB memory, and had two pretty expensive SSDs running in RAID 0. Thanks to that, it booted up very quickly. ...Well, not that I was running a complicated physics engine or anything; I was just connecting to the Internet.
First, I had to solve Dornell-senpai’s problem. I looked up information on the sound system’s manufacturer, and the company of the already-folded speaker maker. The Japanese site gave a 404, but there were quite a few of their foreign branches still around. Wow, Russian. I can’t read that... I doubted even a translation site would help. But I spent about an hour and finally found the PDF I was looking for. This one was only in English. I’m not great with English, either, but with a little effort, I can read it.
I found some evidence of the same problem we were having happening overseas. It had apparently come to lawsuits that still hadn’t been settled, and of course, both sides told very different stories. That meant I had no idea which was right. Political concerns were blocking me from finding the root of the problem, when what I wanted was a neutral specialist opinion. It was tricky.
Despite my doubts, though, I felt like I had gotten a general idea of how to solve the problem. I wrote down a brief explanation of the issue, hammered out some replacement code (it was just changing a part of it, so it just took me ten minutes), got myself a throwaway email address, and sent it to Dornell-senpai. I couldn’t be bothered to think of a proper email address, so I just set it as “fairy0301” (the numbers represented the time of night it was). After everything that happened, I had a feeling he’d know it was me, but I could probably make it through as long as I feigned ignorance.
I hesitated over whether or not to write “This should solve your sound problems,” but it seemed like it would make it even more obvious it was me, so I decided not to. Oh, forget it. It was up to Dornell-senpai if he wanted to use it or not. Helping him out with this probably meant we would have to take part in the live show after all, though, so I could probably hold off on telling the others about the issue for a little while longer. As for Isuzu-san and Tricen-san’s problems... well, I probably didn’t have to do those tonight. I’d time it just right and figure out something within the week.
I sent the email. Then I went right to sleep. I was so tired, I even forgot to turn off my PC.
The next morning, I dragged my sleep-deprived self to work, where I found Muse and the others making a ruckus in the Elementario greenroom. “Good morning... Um, what’s going on?” They didn’t even notice me; I guess I’m just that invisible.
“Salute the fairy!” Sylphie shouted. She was standing at attention for some reason, her fingers snapped to her forehead like an American marine.
There was a model of a stylized fighter jet hanging in one of the greenroom’s empty lockers. It looked like a science fiction-y spaceship with twin ramjet engines. Ah, Battle Fairy, right? The Yukikaze. I remember ALTER sold them once upon a time... I hear they’ll be putting out a robot called the Savage soon, too. Thank you very much! (Not sure why I’m thinking that.)
A small cup of sake and a smoldering incense stick sat in front of the model, in the manner of a Buddhist altar. There were snack foods placed there, too, like little offerings of some kind.
“Salute complete!” Sylphie-san seemed to be the only one saluting seriously, but Muse-san and Salama-san were basically playing along. “Now, hands together! Heart Sutra! Recite!” She began the chant, then rapped on a wood block. She seemed to be the only one enthusiastic about reciting the sutra, but Muse-san and Salama-san patiently joined in. All I could tell was that it was a ritual of some sort, so I remained, cowed, in a corner of the room. After the recitation finished, Sylphie-san finished off with a prayer in Latin that I couldn’t understand, then shouted, “Prayer complete! Let’s give it our all again today!”
In response, the other two shouted:
“Yeah!”
“Fairy-san! Please continue to help the park!”
“Help the park!”
“Okay! Let’s gooo!” Sylphie-san ran out of the greenroom, looking very fired up. Muse-san and Salama-san both looked a little embarrassed.
“Um... what’s going on?” I asked.
“Oh, morning, Kobory,” Muse-san said, noticing me at last. Her smile was a little awkward. “It’s... a little hard to explain. It’s a little like a prayer before we go onstage... You know, like how Michael Jackson did it.”
“Ahh...” I said. Michael Jackson used to gather all his dancers together before they went on stage to pray; apparently, this was a similar ritual.
“And so, y’know... we figured we’d try praying to that mysterious fairy that’s been helping the park,” Salama-san added, while playing with her smartphone as usual.
“The fairy, huh?” I commented.
“Oh, Kobory, you have heard, haven’t you?” Muse-san asked. “There’s been this mysterious fairy... and we started wondering... what would happen if we prayed to it?”
“With a science-fiction fighter jet and the Heart Sutra?” I checked.
“Yeah. Sylphie arranged most of it. We were hoping the fairy might help out our attraction, too... you know?”
“I see. I think I understand.” I turned my eyes down and started trembling in a combination of shame and embarrassment.
Muse-san must have misinterpreted that reaction, because she quickly waved at me with both hands. “Um! I mean, obviously, you’re free to follow any religion here you like! You don’t have to go along with it if you don’t want to! Really! Just do whatever you like!”
“It’s not for freedom of religion reasons, but I still think I’ll pass,” I told them. Praying to myself would just be pathetic, and calling that ‘ritual’ a religion would be an insult to real believers.
“Ah, okay... Well, Sylphie will probably get tired of it eventually,” Muse told me. “Don’t worry too much, okay?”
“Nah, it’s definitely worrying,” Salama-san put in.
“Huh?” Muse protested. “But I had a lot of fun!”
“You’re the only one who did.”
“Was I?”
Muse-san and Salama-san left the greenroom, still verbally sparring.
Left on my own, I changed swiftly into my stage costume and checked myself out in the mirror. I think it’s kind of what people call “purity fetish”—it’s a cute, frilly costume of green and white, but it splits open in the front so you can see my panties, as well as my belly button and thighs. But I was used to it, enough that I no longer felt ashamed... I was a little shocked by my own adaptability in that regard. Fortunately, because I’d resisted the allure of snacks last night, my stomach was nice and flat. I was proud of myself for working so hard... though I guess that’s a bit shameless of me.
Then there was an in-building announcement to the attraction staff: “The first performance starts in ten minutes. Current attendance is 80%. All cast, please take your places.”
I was in a panic. They would do a roll call at five minutes till, and if the main cast weren’t all in place, the performance would be canceled.
I was about to run to my position, but then I stopped. That empty locker... treats had been left out for the mystery fairy. One of them was some Consomme Double Punch chips.
I looked around a few times. No one else was in the room. “......” I reached out, snagged one, and ate it. Just one—a single potato chip. But it was delicious, and the flavor filled me from head to toe.
After all, the offerings were meant for me, right? So what was wrong with me eating them? Sylphie-san had said it, too: “Fairy, please keep helping the park.”
Okay, I’ll help. I’ll do my best. I swear.
The potato chip’s flavor remained with me lon
g after.
[The End]
An Unusual Combination
Oh, hello. I’m the Spirit of Water, Muse.
When you work at an amusement park, Monday night is a bit like Saturday night. Tuesday typically has our lowest attendance rates, and it’s when several attractions close for maintenance, so we don’t have to do as many performances.
I sometimes wondered if the whole park couldn’t just take a day off... but our (acting) manager Kanie-san refused to let it happen. “No days off! No matter what!” he barked at us during a meeting when it was brought up. “We need every single guest we can get! I’d run the place 24/7 if I could!”
Of course, we couldn’t possibly be in business 24 hours a day, but... well, the renovations had helped in getting us a lot more customers than before. We’d already exceeded last year’s attendance, so we’d assumed we were in the clear, but Kanie-san still seemed very stressed out about it. I sometimes wondered if there was something going on that he wasn’t telling us. I’d tried asking his secretary Isuzu-san about it (we’re pretty close, after all), but she didn’t seem to want to talk about it, either.
Anyway, this all started one particular Monday night in September. We’d finished our final performance of the day, and I proposed doing our usual “Elementario girls hit the town!” outing. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a good time for the other three.
Salama said, “Sorry, I have a lot of unpacking to do since the move...”
Kobory said, “I’m sorry, I have a lot of pages to draw for my hobby...”
Sylphie said, “I have a class in Tsukiji tonight...” Of all the excuses, “class in Tsukiji” seemed the most confusing, but I’d long since stopped letting myself be bothered about every little thing Sylphie said and did. She wasn’t the kind of girl who’d just lie, so if she said she had a class in Tsukiji, she probably did.
At any rate, what it amounted to was that the others didn’t have time to hang out. I was still free, though so... hmm, what should I get up to? I wondered. As I walked through the employee gate, I tossed around the idea of going straight home and brainstorming new performance ideas. But as I arrived at the bus stop...
“Oh, it’s Muse, fumo,” Moffle-senpai called out to me. He was a fluffy, plush fairy who served as the park’s most popular mascot. But because he was currently wearing his Lalapatch Charm, he would look like a normal person to mortal eyes.
“Done for the day, pii?” Wanipii-senpai said to me, as well. He was standing with Moffle-senpai, and also wearing a Lalapatch Charm. Wanipii-senpai was an alligator. He was a minor character in the park, but he did have some niche appeal. He often skipped out on work, too.
“Are you on your way home?” our head of finances, Ashe-san, asked in a kind voice. She had dark brown skin and blonde hair, and looked very smart in her glasses and business suit. She had a beautiful face and a dynamite body; she looked a little like a dark elf or a succubus. She normally had horns and pointed ears, but outside the park, she looked like an ordinary mortal.
“Ah, yes,” I told them all. “Are you all heading home?”
“Moffu. Actually, the three of us were talking about hitting up the yakitori bar, fumo.”
“Do you mean that ‘Savage’ place?” I checked.
“Yes, pii. Muse-chan, want to join us, pii?”
It was an unusual grouping. Moffle-senpai usually went out drinking with Tiramii-senpai and Macaron-senpai—I wouldn’t go so far as to call them “soul brothers,” but they really were close. Wanipii-senpai usually didn’t go to drinking parties at all; he almost always refused invitations, and kept a respectful distance from headliner mascots like Moffle-senpai. As for Ashe-san... I don’t know her well. She doesn’t usually visit the attractions, and I don’t see her otherwise except for during meetings or in passing in the general affairs building. I’ve always thought she was an amazing person, but we’ve never had a real conversation before.
Now, these three wanted me to join them at Savage, the yakitori bar? I wondered if it would be awkward, with them all being older than me... Wanipii-senpai aside (sorry), Moffle-senpai and Ashe-san were considered some of AmaBri’s most powerful people. As leader of Elementario, I couldn’t exactly decline.
Yes, it’s politics! It’s all about politics! I should put on my biggest smile and wheedle out some information to improve my attraction, right?! That would help us to solve the costume problem that’s been giving us so much trouble lately, right?! (Who would that benefit, you ask? Us, of course! I’m terrified of how accustomed to those costumes we’ve gotten! I mean, I’m totally fine with it now! And I’m not fine with the fact that I’m fine with it!)
The bus was pulling in to the stop, and I had to make a decision. “Sure thing! If I won’t be in the way, that is...” I said with a smile, while fighting butterflies in my stomach.
“All right then, fumo. Let’s get going!”
And so, we all got on the bus to Amagi Station.
“Moffu. Macaron had plans to see his daughter Lalapa, and Tiramii’s on another rendezvous with some MILF. I was feeling a little out in the cold, fumo,” Moffle-senpai told me as we strolled through the shopping district at night. “Now, I still didn’t have anything else to do tonight, so I thought I’d have a drink alone before heading home. But that’s when I ran into Ashe-san, fumo. She’s always staying past midnight because of the finances, see, so it’s rare I get to see her, fumo.”
“Yes,” Ashe-san affirmed. “I’d just sent some documents to Ikegami-sensei... so I had a little bit of free time.” Ikegami-sensei was the tax accountant for AmaBri; he was an attractive, middle-aged man who liked soccer. Apparently, a certain money-ignorant light novel writer has been giving him a lot of trouble lately. (I have no idea why I’m bringing that up.)
“So, given how rare it is to see her at all,” Moffle went on, “I asked Ashe-san to join me, fumo.”
“Ahh...” I said.
“A performer and an accountant. It might be one of your odder pairings, but I thought it would be a good chance to find some common ground, fumo. Right, Ashe-san?”
Ashe-san smiled awkwardly. “Well... I’m grateful for the sentiment, but surely we can refrain from talking about work tonight, Moffle-san?”
“Ah... that’s right. Sorry,” he said apologetically. “Anyway, that’s how it went down, fumo. I said, ‘Ashe-san, come join me for a drink for once.’”
“Yes. And Moffle-san is AmaBri’s breadwinner, after all...” I noticed a strange look in Ashe-san’s eyes as she said that. Was that... lust? As a fellow woman, I couldn’t miss it.
Oh! I don’t mean to say that Ashe-san was leering at Moffle-senpai or anything! It’s just... how to put it? There was that affection there, the kind you got from a fine specimen of womanhood watching a fine specimen of manhood. Interest, would you call it? Those weren’t the eyes of a woman placating some fussy old sexual harasser... even if he was a plush mouse. Did Ashe-san know about Moffle-senpai’s human form? I found myself strangely curious.
“Oh, come on...” Moffle-senpai said, slumping. He didn’t seem to notice Ashe-san’s interest at all, which made it all the more frustrating. “Then, well, once Ashe and I had decided we’d go out drinking, Wanipii showed up, fumo. So we had to invite him along, fumo.”
Wanipii-senpai’s umbrage was immediate. “How dare you, pii! I refused at first! Don’t make it sound like I was begging for it, pii!”
“Moffu,” Moffle said pointedly. “But if Ashe-san and I had just gone off into the city at night, you would’ve raised a stink. You remember the thing with Nyathan and Takami-chan recently, the way everyone talked about me? I’m not going through that again, fumo.”
“Well, it was suspicious, pii!” Waniipii-senpai protested. “I’m still not convinced that you didn’t take her home, pii!”
Takami-chan was a college student who worked part-time at Savage, the place we were going to now. AmaBri’s cast were regulars there, and Moffle-senpai had invited her out once after hours. They�
��d gotten drunk out in the city, and “indulged each other’s desires”... or so the rumors claimed. Moffle-san seemed too hard-nosed for that, so I had my doubts, but most people accepted it, insisting, “Moffle has his needs, too.”
Takami-chan was something of an idol among the AmaBri mascot cast, anyway, and while I can agree that she’s pretty and charming, I never understood why the men all put an unremarkable college student on such a pedestal, while ignoring the girls of AmaBri. (We have a lot of cute girls too!) Well, it is what it is. Maybe it’s hard to look at the girls you work with that way.
“Moffu. ...I’m telling you, I just walked her home and then left, fumo.”
“I doubt it, pii! In that case... in that case... I’ll ask Takami-chan myself, pii!”
“Hmm,” Moffle mused. “If you ask her that, she’ll really hate you, fumo.”
“What?! But why, pii?”
“You don’t know? You really don’t know, fumo? Wanipii, you have a real problem, fumo.”
It felt like a storm was rolling in. While I was fretting about how to smooth things over, Ashe-san just shrugged and smiled. I think she was telling me, “It’ll be fine; just leave them alone.”
At last, we arrived at the yakitori bar, Savage. It was a hole-in-the-wall restaurant founded in 1992, so it was over 20 years old now. The sliding glass door was sticky with oil, and a powerful smell of sauce wafted out from the exhaust fan. The minute we got through the door, I could feel the stickiness of the tiles beneath my shoes. I would never come here with the Elementario girls, but the food was very good. The negima, in particular, was excellent.
Takami-chan, the girl we’d been talking about, wasn’t present; she must have been off today. Instead, we were welcomed by a man I didn’t recognize, who was about the same age as her.
“Moffu. Is the back open, fumo?”
“Huh?” The man asked.
“The back, fumo,” Moffle repeated himself.
“Huh? Um...” He must have been new; he seemed completely baffled by a reference that Takami-chan would understand right away.