Shane's Burden

by Peggy L Henderson

  Shane blinked. He rubbed his good hand over his face, then looked at her again.

  “I’m sorry we’re out here like this, Alley. I was supposed to find you and bring you back before dark.”

  She shook her head. “You don’t have to be sorry. I’m the one who got lost, remember? I hope nothing’s happened to Red.”

  Shane chuckled. “I have a hunch he’ll be a lot more comfortable tonight than we will.” He paused before he added, “He showed up at my place. Guess he missed me that much.”

  Shane’s grin looked distorted from the shadows cast on his face by the flames of the fire, but the glow in his eyes as he looked at her left her heart melting in her chest. Alley blinked, and tore her gaze away. She tossed another piece of wood into the fire.

  “How are you feeling?” she mumbled. This was not the time to get tongue-tied again.

  “Much better.” Shane reached for her hand in her lap, and gave it a squeeze. “Thanks to you.”

  Slowly, she raised her head to glance at him again. She was going to be out here with Shane all night. She needed to get over her silly inhibitions and relax. She’d already successfully set up camp. She could get through this night without tripping all over her words. Silently, she laughed.

  Your wildest dreams from high school have come true, Alley. Might as well make the best of it.

  She inhaled a calming breath and smiled. “Looks like you thought of everything when you packed your saddlebags. There’s a sandwich, snacks, and water. Along with your medical supplies, we’re all set for a cozy night out in the woods.”

  Shane answered her smile with a wide grin. He leaned toward her, his face inches from hers. “I can’t think of any other person I’d rather spend a night in the woods with,” he murmured.

  His hand reached up to cup the side of her face again. Alley held her breath. The fire crackled nearby, the horse snorted softly a short distance away, and somewhere from the darkness, an owl hooted. Time stood still as Shane gazed into her eyes.

  Then, his lips were on hers. Hesitant at first, the contact was feather-light. His thumb grazed along her jaw. Shane shifted, moving closer to her. His lips adjusted over hers while his hand slid to the back of her neck. Alley stiffened, her pulse nearly pounding up her throat. A warm feeling spread throughout her body and limbs, originating in that kiss, and ending in her heart.

  Shane eased back, his hand still cradling the back of her neck.

  “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he murmured, his breath hot against her cheek.

  Alley fought for air. “How long?”

  Shane smiled, then kissed her again, the contact light and quick, before he answered. “Since the day of Mike Weiker’s memorial, when you walked into Evie’s Diner with my sister.”

  Alley’s breath caught in her throat. Her heart beat against the insides of her ribs. Had she fallen and hit her head when she tumbled down the ravine? Everything since her fall seemed surreal – Shane coming to rescue her, the tender way he’d held her, the look of concern in his eyes, and now this.

  That kiss had been real. What she saw in Shane’s eyes was real. She’d seen it before, and she’d brushed it aside as unlikely and incomprehensible. It was time to completely push the boy he’d been from her mind, and see the man he had become. This was the real man to complete her dream, and it was time to take the final leap and listen to the advice from a wise teacher all those years ago.

  Chapter 13

  Shane met Alley’s wide-eyed gaze. The light from the fire reflected in her shimmering eyes. His face was still only inches from hers, and he wasn’t about to widen the distance. His heart beat fast and strong against his ribs, a side-effect of the shot Alley had given him. It had to be. He’d never had this kind of a response to kissing a girl before.

  Slowly, a soft smile formed on Alley’s lips, sending his heart and mind spinning out of control all over again. She could have told him he was out of line. She could have backed away and said he had no right to kiss her, that she wasn’t interested in him. Instead, she was smiling.

  He grinned, unable to stop himself. His fingers weaved through her hair at the back of her head. With his thumb, he explored the soft contours of her jaw and the side of her cheek. Her skin was cool to the touch and soft against his calloused palm. For the first time in a long time, his mind was clear and free of his daily worries, despite their current predicament.

  “I always wondered what it would be like.”

  Alley’s softly whispered words were barely audible over the crackling of the fire. Shane scrunched his forehead.

  “Always wondered about what?”

  Alley’s hand reached up. She hesitated, then the tips of her fingers slid along his jaw. Her unexpected action ignited his heart to beat even faster. If any more ants bit him, he wouldn’t need another shot of epi. The adrenaline rushing through him in response to Alley’s touch would be enough to fend off any allergic reaction.

  “I always wondered what it would be like being kissed by you.”

  The complete honesty in her answer was as surprising as it was refreshing.

  “If you’ve wanted me to kiss you before, all you had to do was ask.” His grin widened. “I’d have been happy to oblige.”

  Alley shook her head. “I don’t think you would have.”

  Shane shifted on the ground. The blanket that covered him fell away, sending a slight shiver through him, despite the jacket he wore. With the darkness came the cold. Alley was only wearing a long-sleeve sweater. He sat up straighter, and slipped out of his jacket.

  “It’s getting cold.” He draped it around her shoulders.

  “What about you? Now you’ll be cold.”

  Shane chuckled. “Let me sit here next to you, and I doubt I’ll be cold, and I’ll be happy to keep you warm tonight. We can share the blanket.”

  Alley stared up into his eyes. Slowly, she nodded. His eyes narrowed slightly as he studied her. Something seemed different about her demeanor, as if she’d come to some kind of conclusion about him, and had made a decision. The defensive wall she’d built around herself for weeks seemed to have come down. He’d noticed the change earlier, when they were still in the ravine.

  Shane scooted closer, leaning back against the saddle and bringing Alley up next to him. He reached for a few more sticks that lay in a pile next to the fire, and tossed them into the flames. The wood ignited in an orange glow that reflected off Alley’s face. He draped his arm around her shoulder and coaxed her to lean against him.

  “Ask me.” He peered down at her. She hadn’t quite relaxed against him, and his quiet demand brought her head around to look up at him.

  “Ask you what?”

  Shane laughed quietly. “I thought you were a smart girl, Alley? Ask me to kiss you, and I’ll prove you’re wrong that I wouldn’t do it.”

  Girls had teased and flirted with him plenty, and he’d done his own share of it in the past when life had been more carefree. Clearly, Alley didn’t have much practice. Shane mentally shook his head. Stupid guys who’d passed her up. She was smart, she was pretty, and she was honest.

  Alley shifted to look at him more squarely. “You don’t understand, Shane. I wasn’t referring to now. I was referring to ten years ago. When we were in high school, I was invisible to you. You were the popular boy on the football team, and I was the nerdy freshman who hid behind her books.” She cast her eyes at the ground.

  Shane reached for her and lifted her chin to look at him again. “I was a jerk in high school.”

  Her lips widened in a smile. “Yes, you were. I asked myself countless times why I had a crush on you, but I eventually figured it out.”

  Shane sat up straighter. His brows rose. “You had a crush on me?”

  She sniggered. “Probably about half the female population at Burnt River High had a crush on you. The other half had a crush on your brother.”

  “Maybe you’ve got me confused with Mason. He was the bookworm. He’d have been
more your type.”

  Ally shook her head. “I liked the rebel.”

  Shane tilted his head, letting his eyes travel over her face. An image of Alley Cramer in high school wouldn’t materialize, at least not clearly. The mental picture in his head was of a faceless girl with glasses, carrying books, and that he’d bumped into her once. Nothing more. And now, she was the girl he couldn’t get out of his mind, or his heart. She’d admitted to liking him then, but would that translate into something more, something as intense as what he felt now?

  “So why did you like me back in high school?” he challenged with another grin.

  Alley’s chest rose and fell as she drew in a long breath. She looked him in the eye, a clear indication he’d receive an honest answer, not some coy excuse.

  “You represented everything I envied. You were freedom. You could do what you wanted, even laugh at academics, without a care in the world.”

  The corners of Shane’s eyes twitched as he held Alley’s gaze. Something her grandfather had told him meshed with her words. He swiped at a tear that rolled down her cheek.

  “Your mother didn’t let you have a lot of freedom, did she?”

  Alley shook her head. “Nothing was ever good enough. She was so desperate to live her lost dreams through me, and I allowed it to happen. Mr. Weiker told me to follow my own dreams, but it was the only time I didn’t listen to a teacher’s advice. When I came home for the memorial, I realized that this was my chance to start over, to finally live the life I wanted, not what someone else had decided for me.”

  Shane nodded. It was her time to live her dream. How could he tell her how he felt about her, knowing she wanted freedom? He wasn’t going to spoil it for her by hinting at a commitment. She’d most likely interpret it as another yoke around her neck. A relationship might be too confining.

  He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead. “I’m glad you’re finally living life the way you want to, Alley. I’m really glad you decided to stay in Burnt River.”

  She raised her head. Her lips were so close. Shane blinked and leaned back against the saddle. He closed his eyes. Alley was like a horse that didn’t know what to do when given the run of the pasture after a long time in stall confinement. If she sensed more restraints, she’d run away. He only stood a chance if he allowed her to come to him on her own terms.

  “When I came home to Burnt River, I realized immediately that this is where my heart truly belongs.” She laughed softly. “That’s why I reacted so badly the day you came to make an offer to Gramps on the farm. I was still angry at the boy I remembered from school, and scared to death of losing my real home.”

  “I’m no longer that boy.” He’d keep reminding her until she finally believed him.

  “What made you change and become such a responsible man?”

  Shane’s eyes remained closed. She’d been honest with him. He owed her the same courtesy, even if it was painful to talk about his past.

  “After my dad passed away from a heart attack, I became angry. I didn’t see the use in going to school or doing anything that required responsibility, because in the end, what did it matter?” He scoffed. “I was going downhill fast when Mr. Weiker pulled me into his office and gave me some words of advice, something to think about. It didn’t happen overnight, but it changed my life.”

  “So, you’ve decided to take on the responsibility of your family’s ranch, taking care of your mother, as well as your brother and sister.” It wasn’t so much a question as an observation from Alley.

  “I quit college when my mother had her stroke. Someone had to take over the business. One of my relatives in Kentucky probably would have come and taken the reins, but I knew mom wouldn’t have wanted to give the ranch into his care. My dad’s family has lived in Montana for generations, and we do things a little differently than they do in Kentucky. I wasn’t going to let my dad’s ways die with him.”

  “I’m so sorry about your mother. What a huge burden that must be on your shoulders.”

  “I was the clear choice to run the ranch. Mason went to vet school. Raine went to nursing school. Everyone knew I’d be the one running Taggart Ranch someday. It just happened sooner than we all thought, but everyone’s happy.”

  Alley shifted next to him. She placed her hand on his chest. Shane opened his eyes, and was met by her round eyes staring up at him. His arm tightened around her shoulder. If he could hold on to one moment in his life, this would be it. She sat next to him with a tender look he’d dreamed of for weeks.

  “Are you really happy?” She broke eye contact. The expression on her face conveyed that she thought she might have asked something too personal. “I mean, does all that responsibility make you happy?” she stammered.

  Shane smiled. He’d asked himself the same question on more than one occasion. The answer had always been the same.

  “I did what needed to be done, even when things got unpleasant or weren’t what I wanted to do. Overall, I’m still doing what I love and care about.”

  And now I want to include you, Alley.

  “Why do you want to buy the farm from Gramps?” she whispered. “It’s not like Taggart Ranch needs more land, or an old farmhouse and some rundown barns.”

  Shane sat up straighter. Hopefully he could convince her that his only interest in the Cramer Farm was her.

  “When your grandpa mentioned that he was going to sell, I thought it was the perfect place to build an equine veterinary hospital for Mason. He was supposed to take over the business from Doc Johnson, who’s ready to retire, and he’d talked about expanding beyond the clinic in town.”

  Alley tilted her head slightly. Her intelligent eyes seemed to probe straight into his mind.

  “I’m so sorry about your brother. Raine said he had an accident and is in rehab.”

  Shane’s neck and shoulder muscles tensed. He forced his next words from his mouth. “He’s paralyzed. He may never walk again. All because I was careless with a horse when he was doing an exam.”

  Alley’s hand reached up to touch his face. Real pain and concern was etched in her eyes. “You can’t blame yourself for an accident with a horse. You, of all people, should know how unpredictable horses are, and Mason knows it, too. The risk is part of his profession.”

  Shane clenched his jaw, but Alley’s soft palm on his cheek soon eased the tension.

  “My brother’s future – his entire life – might be ruined, and all his dreams gone, because of a stupid accident. All he ever wanted was to be a vet. He worked hard to make it happen. He loved what he did, and now it might all be beyond his reach, if he doesn’t get better.”

  “Sounds like you want to buy Cramer Farm and build a place for Mason out of guilt.”

  Shane pressed his hand over Alley’s. “My only interest in Cramer Farm is you.” The words slipped out before he had a chance to even think about what he’d said. “You’re right. I was acting out of guilt. If Mason has plans for a vet clinic, depending on how his recovery goes, I’ll support whatever he wants to do. Right now, I only want to help you get your farm back on its feet.”

  Alley blinked, as if it would help her comprehend what he’d said. The bewilderment in her eyes turned to something else, something warm and intense, and something he wanted in his future. She broke eye contact first.

  “Are we all up to walking out of here in the morning?”

  Shane inhaled a deep breath. It was good she had changed the subject.

  “No doubt someone will be looking for us. Raine probably has Sheriff Macklin out searching already.”

  “You really need to see a doctor.”

  Shane smiled. Her concern was encouraging. “So do you, for your foot.”

  “My foot is fine. The pain meds are helping. It’s just a good thing you had such a well-stocked first aid kit.”

  Shane laughed. “It’s a good thing I have a sister who is a nurse and always thinks of the worst-case scenarios. If I had brought all the things she really wanted
to send with me, I would have had to bring a pack horse.”

  Shane leaned forward and reached over Alley to grab his saddlebags.

  “Are you hungry?” He dug out the snacks and the sandwich that was supposed to have been his lunch. He’d been hungry earlier today, but food had been all but forgotten.

  “This was supposed to be my lunch, but I’ll share it with you for supper.”

  He handed her half the sandwich, then opened a bottle of water and took a long drink.

  “This isn’t how I planned to ask you on a first date, Alley.” His lips twitched.

  “You were planning to ask me on a date?”

  He grinned, then laughed. “Yes. I’ve been trying to come up with a good excuse to ask you, and wondering where I might take you if you agreed to go out with me.”

  Alley cast her eyes on the sandwich in her lap. “This seems like the perfect first date,” she whispered. She raised her head, and this time her eyes flashed determination.

  “Shane Taggart, would you kiss me?”

  Shane leaned forward. His hand cupped the side of her face. “I thought you’d never ask,” he murmured against her lips right before he covered her mouth with his. His next words were out before he could stop them.

  “I think I’m in love with you, Alley Cramer.”

  Chapter 14

  A horse snorted somewhere nearby, and birds chirped relentlessly overhead. Alley groaned and shifted her body. She flinched and let out a hiss when a hard, sharp object jabbed her left thigh. The movement brought even more aches and pains. Every one of her joints seemed to protest their existence. For once, she gained an appreciation for Gramps’ complaints about his aches and pains.

  Was it morning already? She smiled with her eyes still closed. Memories of what had happened yesterday washed over her. Ordinarily, falling from a horse, getting lost in the mountains, and then tumbling down a steep ditch shouldn’t be something to smile about. What if it had all been a dream, and she’d open her eyes to reality?