Yankees Suck!

by Jim Gerard

  After CBS bought the Yankees from Webb and Topping in 1964 and through the Steinbrenner era that began in 1973, the team has fielded a more racially diverse club. However, the team’s commitment to multicultural tolerance is questionable. For one thing, for years Steinbrenner and his minions derogated the Yankee Stadium neighborhood, hoping to create a climate conducive to moving the team from the Bronx and/or getting a sweet new stadium deal from the city. For example, in 1991, Richard Kraft, George’s college roommate and—believe it or not—the team’s VP for community relations, told reporters that too many undesirables haunted the Stadium and that the team wanted to move away from these “monkeys.” After a hailstorm of public outrage, George had to fire Kraft.

  Even today, while the Yankees’ attendance is at an all-time high, it still reflects the demographics of New York in 1960—mostly white suburbanites, who are also estimated to comprise a large portion of the YES network’s TV audience. So, although Steinbrenner has failed (so far) to move the team physically, he has in effect shifted it to the virtual suburbs.

  PINSTRIPED GOODFELLAS7

  The Yankees like to promote their players—especially their superstars—as dignified, upstanding citizens. Bu. throughout Yankee history, some of the walking Monuments cavorted openly with mobsters.

  Let’s start with the Yankee Clipper, Joe DiMaggio, who told rackets investigators in 1961 of his friendship with Albert “The Mad Hatter” Anastasia, a Murder, Inc. member who he had met only weeks before Anastasia was gunned down under orders of Carlo Gambino in the barber shop of the Park Sheraton Hotel in New York. When New York City police discovered the DiMaggio-Anastasia connection, they interrogated “the world’s greatest living ballplayer” about his ties to non-baseball hit men such as Paul “Skinny” D’Amato, club owner, convict, and, according to the FBI, member of “La Cosa Nostra,” and gambler Joseph Silesi, a partner of Florida mob boss Santo Trafficante, who some conspiracy theorists later implicated in the JFK assassination.

  Joe D. told the Feds that he turned down an offer from Silesi to front for a gambling operation in Cuba because, “due to my image in the eyes of the American youth, I can’t venture into gambling, whiskey, and cigarette endorsements.” 56 DiMaggio then spent the rest of his life peddling banks, coffee machines, and parts of himself. (See Chapter 6: Condemning the House That Ruth Built.)

  Number 5 wasn’t the only Yankee who enjoyed the company of wiseguys. According to FBI files, members of the 1972 club also palled around with a mobster who, while in Florida to “establish connections with record bootleggers,” gave the alibi that he was there “to frequent the training camp of the New York Yankees and renew many close associations he had with Yankee ballplayers.” (The mobster’s identity was redacted from the document.)

  TRADING SPOUSES, THE YANKEE WAY

  The late 1960s and early 1970s are remembered for drugs, demonstrations, and assassinations. Mores were changing overnight, and the sexual revolution even penetrated the cloistered, conservative world of the New York Yankees. After the 1972 season, Yankee pitchers Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson scandalized the baseball world by swapping wives, kids, homes, and even dogs in a multi-player swap that even Bowie Kuhn couldn’t stop. (To this day, it is not known if the wives had to clear waivers.)

  Perhaps even stranger than the actual swapmeet was Peterson’s earnest plea that the press “not make anything sordid out of this.” Steinbrenner, who was in the process of purchasing the team from CBS, played indignant reactionary to the left-handed flower children. “When I first saw the team picture, it looked like a poster for birth control,” the Boss absurdly raved to the New York Daily News. The Kekich-and-Marilyn Peterson-arrangement didn’t work out, but Peterson and Susanne Kekich married and had four kids of their own. Peterson worked in real estate for a time, then found religion and became an evangelist. Neither Peterson nor Kekich ever made an appearance on Old-Timers Day.

  THE HALFWAY HOUSE THAT RUTH BUILT

  By the early 1990s, Steinbrenner had muted his moral outrage and accepted the Twelve-Step, disease model for what had in bygone eras been labeled as moral degeneracy. Either that, or his feverish drive for winning led him to dispense with any scruples about players’ character. The result was the Halfway House That Ruth Built, and reliever Steve Howe cut the blue ribbon. The 1983 Rookie of the Year, former Dodger, and cocaine addict had already spent more time on the suspended list than Bart Simpson when Steinbrenner signed him to a minor-league deal in 1991.

  But Howe couldn’t get halfway through the next season before getting busted in Montana (what better place for snow-blowing?) after purchasing a gram. When Howe violated a drug-aftercare program, the lefty racked up a record seventh suspension and became the first player ever to be given a lifetime ban for substance abuse, only to be reinstated a few months later when arbitrator George Nicolau argued that the pitcher depended on the cocaine for helping him with his Attention Deficit Disorder. The Yankees, apparently suffering from the same disorder, resigned Howe, who actually had a good year as their closer in 1994 before flopping and being released in 1996. Two days after his termination, he was found with a loaded gun in his suitcase at JFK airport. In 1999, Howe, who by now had seen more nose candy than Pablo Escobar, was banned because of substance abuse from volunteer coaching for his daughter’s softball team. He appealed the ban and was rejected—proving that a girls’ softball league has bigger cojones than the Yankees.

  The most famous star in “Panic in Monument Park” is Darryl Strawberry.8 By the time he signed with the Yanks in 1996, he had been treated for alcoholism, beaten both of his wives, and spent more time in Betty Ford than Gerry. Yet the sweet-swinging Strawberry helped the Bombers to their first title in almost 20 years. After missing two seasons with a knee injury and colon cancer, and while attempting a comeback in April 1999, Strawberry was arrested in Tampa for cocaine possession and soliciting an undercover officer for sex. Strawberry contended that the solicitation was some sort of reality-TV joke and that he didn’t own the coke; he was given a four-month suspension by MLB. Three months after returning to help the Yankees win a second straight world championship, Strawberry again tested positive for cocaine and was suspended for a year. After a hospital stay, he was sentenced to spend two years in Phoenix House, a drug treatment center, but was ejected for breaking its rules, including the one against having sex with another resident. (He was married at the time.) Sentenced to 18 months for violating his probation, Strawberry was released in April 2003 from the Gainesville (Florida) Correctional Institution after serving 11 months. Even after Strawberry had assembled a rap sheet fit for a rap star, Steinbrenner hired him again in late 2003 as a spring-training instructor, a position Darryl left so he could devote himself to the Without Walls International Church, an evangelical religious institution that was “birthed in 1991” and offers “online tithing” on its website.

  Strawberry’s chief competitor for the wasted-youth award has to be Dwight Gooden.9 The back of his baseball card might read: 1987: Drug rehab after testing positive for cocaine.

  1987-1994: In and out of rehab so many times, the clinic puts in turnstiles just for him.

  1994: Commissioner Bud Selig suspends him for the rest of 1994 and all of 1995. The day after the suspension, Doc seriously considers pulling the trigger of the nine-millimeter gun he holds to his head.

  1996: George signs him, and he goes 11-7 and pitches a no-hitter against the Mariners. He hits 95 mph on the radar gun, after which Steve Howe asks if Dwight will recommend him to his dealer.

  2000: After Gooden has bounced around with the Astros, Indians, and Devil Rays, the Yankees take yet another chance on him. Once again, he helps them win a World Series, with playoff victories in both the ALDS and ALCS.

  2001: Gooden, along with ex-Met teammate Sid Fernández, tries to make the Yankees in spring training; they both fail. While in Florida, they stay with Sidd Finch, who owns a strip club in Tampa.

  Despite his financial and marital prob
lems, the Yankees continue to keep Gooden on the payroll. His current title is “special assistant.” In October of 2003, Gooden’s 17-year-old son, Dwight Eugene Gooden, Jr., was arrested for selling crack cocaine to undercover deputies in Tampa. He was given probation, and Steinbrenner promised him that if he could keep his nose dirty, he will always have a job with the New York Yankees.

  KIDS ON DECK: THE LUIS POLONIA RAPE CASE

  On August 16, 1989, at the nadir of modern Yankee history, outfielder Luis Polonia was arrested in his hotel room in Milwaukee for having sex with a 15-year-old girl. He was sentenced to 60 days in prison after pleading no contest. A Solomon-like judge allowed Polonia to finish the season with the team, thus punishing the Yankees, since Polonia was one of the worst ballplayers in modern history—he had an on-base percentage around .300 and was a poor outfielder with a weak arm. Presumably, rape and general incompetence weren’t sufficient to have him permanently banned from Yankee Stadium, for the Yanks brought him back not once, but twice—in 1995 and 2000.

  LOCKER ROOM HOMOPHOBIA: THE PAUL PRIORE INCIDENT10

  In 1996, Paul Priore was a Yankee assistant equipment manager. His duties included straightening up the bat rack, washing uniforms, and ironing jockstraps—for which he was paid $30 a day. In August 1997, the team accused Priore of embezzlement—they believed he stole players’ worn T-shirts, baseballs, and broken bats that were to be thrown away—and fired him (although they never pressed charges). In 1998, Priore filed a $50 million lawsuit alleging that Yankee pitchers Jeff Nelson, Bob Wickman (who by then was with Cleveland), and Mariano Rivera had taunted him and called him “faggot,” and that Wickman had waved his penis in his face. (Where’s that face mask when you need it?)

  Priore claimed that the Yankees had discovered that he was HIV-positive and sought a pretext under which to fire him. A lower court ruled that the case could proceed to trial, but the New York State Supreme Court’s Appellate Division unanimously reversed the ruling, saying there was no evidence that team officials knew that Priore had HIV. The team dentist who had treated Priore testified that he didn’t know Priore was HIV-positive, and Yankee management said Priore had never complained about any harassment while with the team. The homophobia incident assumed a striking irony a few years later, with the introduction of the grounds crew’s “YMCA” routine.

  CRIMES AGAINST NATURE: WINFIELD’S SEAGULL

  In the not-so-grand history of the Yankees, players and executives had gambled, drunk, drugged, whored, raped, partied with mobsters and cheated on their wives. On August 4, 1983, they created cross-species mayhem. While warming up before the fifth inning of the team’s 3-1 win over the Blue Jays at Toronto’s Exhibition Stadium, left fielder Dave Winfield accidentally killed a seagull with a thrown ball. After the game, Winfield was brought to the Ontario Provincial Police station on charges of cruelty to animals and forced to post a $500 bond before being released. Although the charges were dropped the next day, Winfield was booed every time the team played in Toronto.

  NOTES

  1 Some researchers contend that the National Association (1871-75) deserves consideration as the first major league due to the caliber of player and level of play exhibited. However, game and individual records for the league weren’t kept in a consistent manner. (Source: www.Wikepedia.com.)

  2 By permission of David Pietrusza to the author.

  3 Most of the material on Chase is from www.baseballlibrary.com.

  4 Source: The Sporting News, June 15, 1916 (vol. 62, issue 15).

  5 “Josh Gibson and Yankee Stadium,” David Marasco, www.thediamondangle.com.

  6 Most of the material from this section is adapted from Those Damned Yankees: The Secret Life of America’s Greatest Franchise by Dean Chatwin (Verso Books, 1998).

  7 The DiMaggio-mob material is taken from www.thesmokinggun.com.

  8 The Strawberry material is taken mostly from www.baseballlibrary.com.

  9 Gooden material is taken mostly from www.baseballlibrary.com.

  10 Those Damn Yankees by Dean Chatwin.

  Chapter Six

  CONDEMNING THE HOUSE THAT RUTH BUILT

  “If you build it, they shall graft.”

  Yankee Stadium is the den of baseball iniquity, the corporate headquarters of the Evil Empire, and the lair of 57,478 bloodthirsty celebrants of a cult of über-free agents who pack the place from April until October. No wonder New Englanders call it “Stade Fasciste.”

  While it’s one of only three prewar major league ball-parks, the club and its fans would have you believe it’s a national shrine—some combination of Valhalla and the Alamo. But is the House That Ruth Built really so special?

  Monument Park

  A thumbnail glance at the drunks, whoremongers, and racists the Yankees honor in their open-air mortuary:

  Babe Ruth: Drank, ate, and wenched to wretched excess. Fathered illegitimate child. Protected by the press.

  Lou Gehrig: Unnaturally devoted to his mother.

  Joe DiMaggio: Nasty, vain, greedy; beat his wives, neglected friends, family, even his son (“While the old man was making a quarter-million dollars per weekend, signing baseballs, Joe DiMaggio, Jr., was living in a dumpster in California,” says biographer Richard Ben Cramer2); in exchange for making personal appearances at mobsters’ nightclubs, he accepted gifts from them, including a trust account at the Bowery Bank set up by Frank Costello that eventually netted DiMaggio over $1 million.3

  Mickey Mantle: Drunk, serial adulterer, gambled on baseball.

  Reggie Jackson: Pathologically selfaggrandizing egomaniac. Born Reginald Martínez Jackson—which led teammate Mickey Rivers to mock, “Your first name’s white, your second is Hispanic, and your third belongs to a black. No wonder you don’t know who you are”—Reggie was like George’s lhasa apso, who he favored over mutts like Billy Martin and catcher Thurman Munson.

  Billy Martin: Violent, psychopathic alcoholic.

  Whitey Ford: Notorious for cheating by scuffing up balls.

  Colonel Jacob Ruppert (owned team from 1915 to 1939): Corrupt U.S. congressman; lifelong bachelor who designed Yankees’ pinstriped uniforms 4; in the closet?

  Ed Barrow: Racist general manager.

  GETTING THERE

  Getting into the Green Zone is easier than accessing Yankee Stadium, due to the already sclerotic network of highways, throughways, “expressways,” and bridges that encircle the place. And once you arrive, you’ll end up paying a glorified car jockey half your kid’s tuition for a space so far away from the Stadium, you’ll need a GPS to find your seat. If you’re in the city, the subway is quicker, but then you’ll be packed into a metallic car thrumming underground at 50 miles per hour with hundreds of Yankee fans, and should you be wearing a Red Sox cap, you will end up on the third rail.

  TICKET PRICES

  The Yankees have the highest ticket prices in baseball except for the Red Sox, who with 22,000 fewer seats, really have no choice.

  STADIUM ACCESS

  Once you’ve secured your ticket, don’t even think of bringing, well, almost anything into the stadium. Security guards, under orders from Uncle George, confiscate all banners critical of the team.

  On its website, the team states:Due to increased security measures, in conjunction with Major League Baseball directives, the Yankees are instituting the following procedures: No backpacks, briefcases, attaché cases, coolers, glass or plastic bottles, cans, large purses, bags or video cameras will be permitted into the ballpark.b You must leave these items in your vehicle before entering the ballpark.

  If you don’t have a “vehicle,” you can check any such items with one of the numerous enterprising, quasi-legal baggage checkers who have sprung up near the Stadium. Among other items that terrorists may presumably use to wreak havoc: “Blow horns and all other distracting noise makers, laser pens/pointers, and beach balls.” (Can’t you just see an al-Qaeda operative shining that laser in A-Rod’s face? “Proceed to the K Corner, infidel!”) There’s even an offici
al Yankee-fan dress code, which prohibits “muscle T-shirts, sleeveless undershirts, tank tops, flip-flop shoes, and shorts above mid-thigh.”

  What’s allowed? “Small children’s backpacks, small women’s purses and backpack purses, and diaper bags.” Tip to Yankee Haters: If you want to sneak in an anti-Yankee banner, scrawl it on your kid’s Pampers.

  STADIUM AMENITIES

  Yankee Stadium is considered a baseball temple; why. then, does it look like the lobby of an SRO hotel? One reason, says author Dean Chatwin, is the lousy concessions and lavatory facilities. “George terminated a contract with the service company that did a good job—they also serviced Shea Stadium—when the employees’ union asked for a living wage,” he says. So, as anyone who’s attended a Yankees game knows, “the bathrooms reek of urine and the toilets go out of order after only a few innings.”