"So why did you finally decide to move here?"
Sadie looked down at herself. "Doc, I ain't married. The whole town of Cross Timbers knowed it. It would shock the good people and the gossips can be merciless. A friend came by one day and told me I should leave. And since I don't know much about birthin' a baby, I decided she was right. I guess I'm a little scared."
"I'm so glad you are here, Sadie." Vivian almost cried. "And you have nothing to worry about, I'll be with you all the way through this."
"Hadn't been for knowin' Jim and Smitty, I might still be back in Cross Timbers. But there ain't no doctors there, not even a mid-wife." Sadie said.
"I understand, and I'm glad you are here. You'll be safe now, don't you worry. First I want to examine you, see how you are progressing."
Sadie nodded. "What do I got to do?"
Vivian brought her a plain white gown to slip into and instructed her to go into another room for the examination. Sadie was afraid to undress. She'd never undressed in front of anyone…except Elmer. It didn't seem natural. But Vivian took her hands and looked into her face. "Don't be afraid. I'm here to help you Sadie."
When the examination was over, Sadie sat in her office and waited for the doc to join her.
Vivian carried some paperwork and placed it on her desk. "Well now Sadie. I estimate the baby will be due in about two and a half months. It seems healthy and all is going well, except…you are a little malnourished."
She saw the puzzled look on Sadie's face.
"What does that mean?" Sadie asked, her eyes growing bigger.
"It means you need to eat more. I'm sure now that you have moved to Melville things will be much better for you and people are very generous here. I have taken the liberty of gathering a basket full of vegetables and such for you to eat. All of it came from your neighbors gardens. I want you to drink plenty of water, and don’t salt things too much as it can have an adverse effect on your health at this time."
Sadie saw the basket of food and shook her head. "Oh…my. I hadn't expected this. No one's ever gathered food for me except my brother."
Vivian smiled as she watched Sadie go through it with eagerness.
"Ain't seen some of this in a while…" she remarked as she sat down again. She glanced at Vivian curiously. "It's usually me that does the givin'. It's hard to take…at least for me."
"You'll need it to stay healthy. You must eat well, to have a healthy baby. Now, I will deliver your baby when the time comes. Have you ever given birth before?"
"Oh no," Sadie frowned at the doctor. "And I figured I was too old to even worry about gettin' in a way. I guess the Lord has a sense of humor."
Vivian smiled. "Well, you aren't too old, Sadie. Do you know what to expect, as far as when the baby comes?"
Sadie folded her lips together. "Not really. I ain't been around many that were expecting. So I don't know anything. Ma only had me and Elmer, and I haven't had the pleasure of being around many babies. Don't know anything about them really."
Vivian seemed uncomfortable for a moment. "That's what I am here for, to help you along the way. Well, your water will break to begin with. You'll notice a puddle somewhere, that's when you need to let me know. Of course you could go into labor before it breaks too, in that case there will be pain, down low like, or possibly in your back, a twinge that doesn't go away and intensifies. When those pains come close together, you know you are about to have the baby. If there is bleeding you need to come see me immediately. Do you understand?"
"I reckon I do. Is having a baby hard?" Sadie asked.
Vivian stared at her for a moment. "It is very uncomfortable." Vivian nodded. "The bible says a woman goes through the gates of hell, to have a baby."
Sadie registered her words with sheer fear. "How long do it take?" she asked, hoping she didn't sound stupid with her questions.
"Sometimes only a brief time, other women experience a long period of birthing, hours to days. I will do everything to make you as comfortable as possible. I'll be with you all the way and I don't want you to worry over it. It is wonderful that you have moved here so you can be near me when the time comes."
Sadie nodded. "Would you think me a coward if I told you I'm a little scared?"
Vivian stood up, came around her desk and grabbed both of Sadie's hands. "I would not. It is perfectly normal to be afraid. Although birthing can be very painful, the pain subsides when the baby is born and you forget all about it. The joy you will feel is unbelievable."
The way the doc said that had Sadie taking note of it. She saw the restrained tears in her eyes and Sadie reached to hold her hand. She didn't have to say a word about it, Vivian accepted her compassion silently.
Sadie nodded again, squeezing her hand. "I never thought this would happen to me." She felt a tear hold up in the corner of her eye. "Least ways not this way. I am scared doc. I don't know much about raising a child. Except…well, I did take care of Elmer most of his life."
"You will be fine. You'll have friends and neighbors eager to help you." Vivian smiled down into her worried face. "But if you have any problems, pain, bleeding, or if your water breaks, you must let me know at once. Sometimes, a baby comes early. So it could be much earlier than we both expect. Don't panic. I will take good care of you."
Sadie nodded. "I don't doubt that a bit. No sir. But…you ain't ask me about the father. How come? No one has. Don't seem natural, not asking."
Vivian went back to sit behind the desk. Her eyes went over Sadie sadly. "That is completely your business. It isn't my job to ask, nor my inclination. It is my job to take care of you though and make sure you have an easy time of it."
When silence ensued Vivian added. "There was no rape. That's what is important right now."
"No ma'am. I wasn't raped. Hadn't dawned on me you would think I was."
Vivian watched her. "I'm glad."
Sadie stood up, pondering whether to tell this woman everything, and yet afraid too that even here the people could turn against her, if they knew. After all, it had been a sin.
She sighed heavily and walked about the room, seeing the documents on the wall, and in one corner of the room there was a picture of Vivian and a man.
"You're husband?" she murmured.
"Yes…"
"Nice lookin' fella." Sadie smiled at her. "Is he dead?"
"No!" Vivian confirmed quickly. "But he had to leave me."
"Is he comin' back?" Sadie asked not wanting to pry, but interested in this wonderfully kind woman.
"I don't know…I really don't know."
Sadie walked toward the door, holding her basket of food on her arm. "He's a fool if he doesn't. Thank you…" She muttered and walked out the door.
Sadie felt the sun hit her in the face, and she heard the birds chirping. She sighed heavily as she walked along the boardwalk. Strangely enough, several women nodded and greeted her that morning, as though they had known her a life-time. Sadie found it odd, but nice.
She wondered about the doc. A nice lady, young, beautiful and so educated. And yet the woman was so sad. She wished she could do something for her, because the woman was absolutely beautiful when she smiled. She reckoned pain was part of living. And for the first time she began to understand that everyone had some kind of pain they had to bear.
Never had Sadie even contemplated her own baby dying. She didn't know how she would feel about that. It was bad enough not having a man to claim as the father, but if her baby died, how would she feel? She didn't know. She wondered if that made her evil. She wondered if she should feel more for the life inside her. Right now, the baby wasn't here and it was hard to love something she couldn't yet see.
And yet, she loved the Lord with all her heart, why hadn't she felt something for the child within? That niggled in the back of her mind for a long time.
It was Elmer's baby. It was a deep dark secret, and she wasn't at all sure she should be glad about it, because this baby would be born out of sin itself. A sin so dark,
so brooding she wondered if the baby would be condemned by the truth of it? For the baby's sake, she hoped she never knew the truth. Whether she loved the baby or not, she cared about it and what would become of it. She realized the responsibility of it.
Obviously the doc was deeply saddened by the death of her child.
Sadie hated to see the young woman so distraught at such an age. She vowed she would do everything in her power to help brighten her life. It was the Christian thing to do, it was an obligation.
She wasn't going to worry over her own baby, there were others who needed her more right now.
She carried the basket of food to her shack and set it down. Finding a bag of dried beans in the basket, she put them on the stove to cook and sat down in the rocking chair that Smitty had found for her. She loved the chair. She'd never had anything so soothing in her life. A rocking chair was a thinking chair, she noted and smiled to herself.
Never in all her years had she had such nice friends. People who went out of their way to help her. Why did they worry over her so?
Someone knocked on her door and she answered it. Ruby stood smiling and introducing herself as the Sheriff's wife. Sadie knew by the red hair who she was. She opened her door wider. Jim had talked of her, but he hadn't mentioned marrying her.
"Well, I'll be. I never knew Jim was married. But he's spoke of you often." She chuckled. "So pleased to meet you. It's Ruby, you say?"
"Yes, and you are Sadie…." The lovely woman waited until Sadie nodded. "We haven't been married long, so I'm not surprised he hasn't told you. I think he's still getting used to the idea." Ruby assured her.
"Newlyweds. Well I'll swan. I can certainly see why Jim married you. That pretty red hair." Sadie chuckled. "You come on in here and sit yourself down."
Sadie invited her in, and although she didn't have but one chair, she offered it to Ruby as she sat on the edge of her bed.
"Jim and Smitty have been monstrous kind to me." Sadie informed her.
"They've told me a lot about you. I just had to come meet you for myself. I'm told you fed the town of Cross Timbers for free for years." Ruby remarked. "That's so exceptionally generous of you, Sadie. The people there must love you!"
Sadie shrugged and frowned. "No, the people there are much different, Miss Ruby. The town of Cross Timbers has been a ghost town for years now. And I'm afraid the people are like ghosts too. Most of them had no ambition, no reason to go on. I finally realized I contributed to that. A friend told me I was not helping people but only postponing the inevitable. I tried yes. I couldn't have done it without Elmer though."
Ruby's eyes flashed for a second and Sadie noticed.
"Elmer's my brother."
Ruby nodded.
"I see Vivian has given you the basket of food. I’m glad." Ruby saw the beans on the stove cooking.
"The doc…she's something, isn't she. Such a sweet little thing. I feel so sorry for her though. She's too young to be wrapped up in all that sorrow."
Ruby's brow drew together. "Sorry for her?"
"She's a very sad little lady. I heard about her losing her baby. But she's young, surely she can have more."
Ruby hesitated for a second. "I'm afraid…well…under the circumstances she can't."
"Why is that. She's young and healthy looking."
"Her husband left her."
Sadie shook her head. "No account man, huh? No wonder she's so sad. He was a handsome devil." Sadie saw Ruby's puzzled expression and explained. "I saw the picture of them in her office. Was he here when she lost it?"
"No…I'm afraid not. She went through most of her pregnancy without him. She's been alone for a while now. She so loved her husband."
"What happened to him?" Sadie asked, from pure concern.
"He…he killed a man."
"My…." Sadie grabbed her chest.
"Yes, the man he killed was evil and needed killing as he tried to molest Vivian. Rusty stopped that, but Jim had to send him away because of it."
"Why? Jim's a lawman, he didn't arrest him?"
"No, Jim knew and understood why he killed him. He also knew that the people here would probably hang him for it. If there were a trial. It seems Rusty shot him dead, and the man had no gun on him at the time. So Jim sent him away. He can't come back, or Jim would have to arrest him." Ruby explained. "So you see, he isn't a bad man, but the circumstances just aren't right, for either of them."
"They was good friends, then? Jim and her husband?"
"Yes, very good friends." Ruby smiled sadly.
Sadie stood up and went to stir her beans. "Life can be so hard for people. I can understand that. And I'm proud Jim did that for him. But it also caused some trouble for Vivian, didn't it?" She sighed. "I'm making beans and cornbread, will you stay and eat with me?"
"Another time maybe. I must get home. Jim usually comes home to eat with me," She said.
"He's a fine fella, and Smitty too."
"They think a lot of you Sadie."
Sadie stared at her a long time. "You ain't ask me…"
"Ask you what?" Ruby's brows rose.
"Who the father is." Sadie said looking down at her round belly. "In fact, no one has, not even Jim and Smitty. How come?"
"It's not our business Sadie." Ruby answered simply. "We can see there is no man around you, and it would be very rude to just up and ask you."
Sadie stared at her. "You are a nice lady too, Miss Ruby."
Ruby stood up, patted Sadie on the shoulder and went toward the door. "I'll come back another time and we'll eat together, how is that?"
"That would be just fine. Thanks for stopping by." Sadie waved at her as she went back to the stove. "I don't know a lot of people here in Melville. I get a little lonely."
Ruby smiled sadly. "You'll get to know them…just give yourself a little time. Have a nice day…"
"Thanks, Miss Ruby, thanks a lot…"
Chapter Ten
John took Penelope out at least twice a week. Usually a picnic in the Hard Tack countryside, sometimes to visit friends, or a dance if there was one. They were inseparable and very happy together. People began to see them as a couple and John liked the security of having a woman all to himself.
He liked the way she chose her clothes so carefully, wearing a riding skirt, with a white blouse, she looked comfortable for their picnic. For a woman her age, she was in good shape and she had grown more beautiful each day. She pushed her hat back from her face and let the morning sun warm her, her face mirroring her joy at being with him. Was a woman in love supposed to blossom like Penelope had?
John had driven the wagon and along with their basket lunch, he had brought a quilt to sit on and several canteens of water. He wanted to make her comfortable and happy all the time.
They had just made a place on the ground to spread their picnic when Penelope stopped and looked at him, her cheeks warming with color. John nearly gasp at the desire he saw in her eyes. She didn't hide it from him and he liked that. No woman had desired him so. It was a new and exhilarating experience. It built his confidence and made him proud.
"John, I want to ask you something."
The seriousness in her voice had John pausing with apprehension, and yet his voice calmed her as she began relaxing in his presence. "Of course, my love."
"It doesn't matter how you answer. I will be happy with you no matter what. But…well, we haven't discussed having children. I know I am not as young as most women when they conceive, but I am willing. I wanted to know if you wanted to have children. I mean, we are both older than most that first get married. And I know some who wouldn't think of having them this late. But I am willing only if you are. I'm eager to have a houseful if you want them, and if you don't, I can content myself with my lusty love for you."
His instant touch assured her she hadn't anything to worry about. His gaze encompassed her, his voice lowering just for her ears. "I'd love to start a family. The sooner the better. Since I have none of my own, I hunger for a
big family. Always have. Does that disturb you?"
A uncanny sense of urgency drove her into his arms as she held him tight. "Disturb me? Why no, John, I'm thrilled. I feel like a young bride. You can't imagine how excited I am to be your wife. You've given me more than I ever dreamed I would have with a man. But some men don't want children, and I didn't want to force my way on you. I think before a couple marry they need to know these kinds of things. It keeps them from fighting over them later, don't you think?"
John petted her, his gaze wandering over her hotly. "I'm glad you asked me. We should always talk about these things together Penelope. I want no secrets between us."
Yet the moment he said that, he realized there were many between them. He had to bury them so deep that he could almost entirely forget about them. After all, that life was over. He wasn't Elmer Martin any longer. He was John Conroy and people liked him here. He had a new life, a good life, and he'd fight to keep it. It had become important to him.
Her voice gushed with excitement. "Daddy will be so pleased. He wants many grandchildren." Penelope smiled up at him. "I think before you came along, he had almost given up ever having any."
John's gaze lingered lazily over her. "It will be my pleasure…to give them to you." John said, before he kissed her hotly. His lips feathered her over and over making her moan with pleasure.
Burying her head against his neck, she breathed breathless kisses there. He pulled her tighter. "I can hardly wait until our honeymoon."
"I hope I never disappoint you. I’m not as young as most brides. But I do want to please you. I want you to look at me just the way you do now in thirty years."
"I can promise you I will."
Penelope was no stranger to his ardor, in fact, she relished it. Being an old maid for nearly thirty years had made her eager to change that. She was active in their foreplay and encouraged it many times herself. There were times when he had to call a halt to their love-making before it went too far. He wouldn't compromise her. Firstly he didn't want to anger her father, and two he didn't want to scare her with his hunger for her.
Bad Day for a Killing (Book Three of the Western Serial Killer Series) Page 8