Burden

by Lila Felix

  “Alpha, Coeur, thank you for coming,” Flint spoke up first.

  “Yes, I’m so glad you did. I may not have made it if it wasn’t for you.”

  “You’re welcome,” Echo responded more confidently than I’d ever heard her, though the emotions swirling through her told a different story.

  “Hawke, do you remember the stories when we were kids about the Alphas saying some kind of blessing over the newborns? It stopped decades ago, but since you are trying new things, well, I’d be honored for you to bless our cubs—as our Alpha and my friend.”

  “I remember the stories. I wouldn’t know what to say.”

  I watched Echo walk around to the other side of the bed and sit next to B who turned the babe so they both could get their eyes’ full. Then she smiled up at me, “I bet Rev knows.”

  Of course she wouldn’t just let it go. But that’s what I loved about her. She would never let me become my father. And I’d never stop her from stopping me. I put in a call to Rev who affirmed Flint’s request and would call me back after the proper research was done. The phone call allowed me to inconspicuously avoid holding one of the cubs. But when I reentered the room, Echo had one of them in her arms and my heart froze in place at the sight.

  My bear rumbled inside me with such force, I had to grab ahold to the door frame beside me for support. His reverence for the scene before him was craved so deeply, that I nearly shifted right there. Probably not the blessing Flint had in mind.

  “Do you want to hold him,” Echo prompted, an ear to ear grin on her face. She knew exactly what was going on inside me with my bear—and she knew exactly what it was about. I might as well dive in head first.

  “What’s his name,” I inquired, settling into a rocking chair as Echo got up and moved my way with the bundle.

  “His name is Hemlock. He’s the oldest and the biggest. No wonder he was stuck. Mildred weighed him in at nearly twelve pounds.” She wasn’t really speaking to me—instead, she murmured the answer to the baby, who seemed to be in complete awe of my mate, much like I was.

  I tried to form my arms in the cradle mimicking Echo’s but after she placed the boy in my arms, she readjusted me, whispering commandments regarding how his head should be held and keeping him covered, guaranteeing his warmth. Putting my nervousness aside, I took in the baby, noting his remarkable features which marked him as one of our kind, immediately. His stark black hair and dark brown eyes told me who he was. He was clan. Our clan was growing by the minute.

  “And his brother’s name?” I directed my voice to the baby even though I spoke to Echo. It was funny how I claimed the habit so soon.

  “His brother’s name is Harris. We should leave them be. They need to enjoy their babes and B needs rest. She’s been a trooper today.”

  “Ok.” I didn’t really want to let him go. He’d fallen asleep. She took him from me and placed him in a cradle made of Cypress that I knew Flint had carved himself for his first child.

  Echo and I made our excuses and made them promise to call if they needed anything. Echo said she would call and visit them every day for the first few weeks. I also vowed to get the blessing done within the week.

  We wordlessly made our way back to my house. She was pondering something deeply but I didn’t pry. I knew she’d let me in on it when she wanted me to know. By the time we changed and got into bed, it was well after two in the morning, and I had to get up in four hours to go to work. We claimed our spots, entangled with each other and my beautiful mate relaxed beside me.

  “What did you think of the babies?” she whispered to me in the dark.

  “I think ours will be even more handsome.”

  “And if they are girls?”

  “Then I can only hope they will be half as breathtaking as you.”

  “Will you always say everything I need to hear?”

  I thought on her question for a second, but as I started to answer her, I felt rest take over her consciousness.

  The answer was no. I would not always say everything she wanted to hear. My words would not always comfort her. I had a gut feeling that one day they would slay her.

  “Goodnight, Echo. I love you”

  The next morning, I left her sleeping. She didn’t even stir when my alarm went off, so I knew the late night plus the healing had taken a lot out of her. I would remember to tease her about saying ‘Good morning’ later. I ran out with just a cup of coffee in my stomach and drove to work since Flint was out of commission, and for good reason.

  With tons of paperwork and settling disputes among the painters, roofers and sub-contractors, lunch time came before I knew it. I was starving, so I ordered pizza to the job site, so I could work and eat at the same time. A knock at the door broke me from my paperwork, but as I opened the door, I realized I’d rather be doing work than face the person at my door.

  “Orenda, a pleasure to see you again. Please, come in.”

  She walked lightly into my trailer of an office without a word and my bear trembled with fear. Her long hair was in a braid over her shoulder and her gait and form were the same as my mates, lithe and completely feminine.

  “We need to talk before I see her, Hawke.”

  I gestured to the chair across from my desk, “I agree. Please, sit.”

  “Echo has powers beyond her recognition or knowledge. I felt her use them last night. Am I wrong?”

  A shiver rippled through me, “No, you’re not wrong. One of our females had a tough delivery of twins last night. Echo healed her after her cesarean. How did you feel her?”

  She smiled and then corrected it, “Healing powers flow through my people mother to daughter. When she uses her powers, I reach out to help her since she has minimum skills and knowledge. I used her as a vessel last night to heal through her, when she has the innate ability to heal masses and masses with the power in one of her eyelashes. She has no idea the strength she contains. I used our connection to try to track her in the beginning when she was taken from me, but in time she grew weaker and weaker. I could feel the twinge in my chest now and then when she used her powers after that, but it wasn’t enough to reach her. She needs to be trained and taught. There’s no one who can do that but me.”

  I let her words slam into me and just as I did my phone rang. I knew it was Echo, since my heart, our hearts, were frantic.

  “Echo, I’m fine. Just thought something was wrong. I’m fine. Yes, I swear.”

  Orenda’s eyebrow cocked upwards at my lies.

  “How long?”

  “How long what, Alpha.”

  Her demeanor was sincere and kind, though she was completely sure in her words and actions. This meeting would not end with me unscathed.

  “How long would you need to teach her?” My voice quivered.

  “A few months at least.”

  “Well, come live with us, on our clan’s land. Stay as long as you like.”

  She closed her eyes, prepping for a new onslaught of horrible news.

  “My home is on the edge of the clan’s lands for a purpose. It is only yards away from my peoples’ land. Her father and I met and courted over the lines of our lands. I gain strength from it. Plus, all of my books and family histories are there and they must not leave my home. She would have to come with me.”

  My thoughts darted around, exploring different options and tunnels, looking for the one which ended with me not being separated from my mate.

  “We will move temporarily to your home then. She can train that way.”

  Echo’s mother rolled her neck around back and forth. Her long neck resembled Echo’s.

  “She will not be able to learn properly. Either she will be close to finishing the mating ritual or you two will have just been mated. No matter which one, she will be—preoccupied, to say the least.”

  Now I knew this was Echo’s mother, and I was trying my damnedest to show her the utmost respect as such, but this female was pissing me off. No matter what I said, her response disputed mine.
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br />   “If she stays away that long, the bond will be broken.”

  She ignored my plea, “She must learn her abilities. I will not be around forever to help her. I am not young, Hawke. Please, do what’s best for my daughter. I know it will be difficult, but the powers will not be passed on through her if they are never fully realized. She must be strong to pass them on to her young.” She sighed, “I will leave you now. Please think about it. I will not hide this from Echo either. When I see her this weekend, I will tell her that she needs to be taught. I implore you to make the right decision. I really do not want to resort to claiming my rights to her as her mother. And she needs to be trained before the mating rituals are finalized. You know what I am referring to, correct?”

  Of course I did. The thoughts of her claiming rights to my mate had consumed me since the week before. I nodded, unable to form words.

  “I will see the both of you Saturday morning. And Hawke, remember that my daughter is only half shifter. She retains every intricacy of her human roots. Human love and shifter love are very different animals.”

  And before I could ask her what she meant, she was gone.

  I got absolutely no work done the rest of the day. I was plagued with thoughts of Echo being ripped from me. Somehow, I kept my heartbeat steady, but I knew my mate would know something was up when I got home. Getting into my truck, my stomach dropped as I finally came to a conclusion to all my worrying. But I’d sworn to her once—and I’d never go back on my word—that I’d always put my mate’s needs and desires above my own. I wasn’t going to start breaking my promises now.

  I threw the truck in park after getting home. I’d grown secure in my decision, and I would spend the week readying myself for what I needed to do.

  “You feel—squirmy,” My black haired beauty said from the doorway wiggling her hips back and forth.

  “Squirmy, huh?” I closed the door behind me and pulled those dancing hips flush with mine.

  “Yeah, like you’re bouncing around inside or something. What’s wrong?”

  “I missed you,” I answered, which was the truth, just not the complete truth.

  “I missed you too.” I buried my face in her neck, branding the smell of her into my nose. “You’ve been with the babies today. You smell like them.”

  “I have. They are just precious. I can’t….um, dinner is ready. Are you hungry?”

  I let her slip ride since she was obviously shy about it. But I would bring it up later when I could take full advantage of the blush on her face.

  “I’m starving. I haven’t eaten all day.”

  “Why not?”

  “I ran out before breakfast, and then I had a hectic day.” I let myself lean against her a bit, letting her feel the weight of my weariness.

  “Come on,” she grabbed my hand and led me to the kitchen table where she served me hot potato soup with tons of bacon and cheese in it. Somehow she knew I needed something comforting. I took solace in her voice as she told me of her day, which included getting a copy of the Alpha baby blessing from Rev and nearly completing her mating gift. The food began to rise in my throat as I thought there just might not be a mating ceremony at all. And I’d never receive the gift she’d so diligently worked on.

  “What was that,” she asked.

  After pushing my bowl away, I raked my hands through my hair, grabbing the roots and tugging. I looked at her for assurance, but instead I found worry. My heart pelted in my ears, demanding to be heard.

  “Your mom came to see me at work today. She will be here Saturday and I will let you tell her the rest. But she wants you to train with her for a while. You can learn more about your abilities.”

  I watched as her face completely lit up with the prospect. I knew she’d be happy about it. But the bear and the completely selfish bastard in me wanted her to say no. He wanted her to say she’d rather just chance the whole thing and stay with me for the rest of her life. But the bigger part of me, her mate, fashioned by the Creator himself to belong to her, shut them both down. What was best for her was to do this, so she no longer felt like a burden to anyone.

  “How?”

  “I have no idea. You’ll have to speak to her.”

  “I’m nervous. What if she doesn’t like me? What if she walks in here, takes one look at me, and decides I’m not worth it?”

  The stress was oozing from her. I took her hands in mine and attempted to soothe her the best way I knew how.

  “Look at me, Echo. You are worth her love and her care and her teachings. And when she walks in here, she’s going to see the exact same thing I do. A female who is beautiful, strong and caring, and the most honorable person I’ve ever met. Besides, I’ve seen her. It’s like looking at a future image of you.”

  That perked her up, “Really?”

  “Yes, really.”

  She sat, contented, for a few minutes before jumping into another subject, though the worry lingered beneath the surface.

  “Feel like blessing some babies?”

  “How about tomorrow? I need some mate time.”

  Her porcelain cheeks blushed, and her bear reached out to mine. I could feel them almost touch.

  “What did you have in mind?”

  “Whatever you want. I’ve only taken you out once. I feel like I haven’t courted you properly. I just swooped in and stole you.”

  She giggled, “You did steal me. And there was no courting necessary.”

  “No, but I need to do a better job of this mate thing. I intend to date you every chance I get until you won’t let me anymore.”

  Squeezing my fingers, she added, “That time will never come.”

  She had no idea.

  “Then let me take you to a movie and out for ice cream.”

  “Really?” The funny thing was, she really was surprised that I wanted to take her somewhere. One day, I hoped the shock value of me wanting to spend time with her, my mate, would dwindle.

  “Of course. Let’s go right now, in fact.”

  She hesitated, “Hawke?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Would I be horrible if I said I was a little too tired to stay awake for a movie? Can we just do ice cream?”

  I conjured the most serious face I could, “You’re ruining this.” But one corner of my mouth betrayed me, slipping upwards.

  “Well, I might make it worth your while, later.”

  My jaw went slack at my usually innocent mate’s proposition and I froze in place.

  “Shut your mouth, Hawke. It’s not like you don’t know what’s going on up here,” she pointed to her head and then used her finger to close my mouth. She then moved to do something. I didn’t care where she was going—I didn’t want any distance between us. I grabbed her to me forcefully and crashed my mouth down on hers shutting her protests down completely. My fingers were tangled in her hair and I tried with as much fervor as I could to brandish her mouth with everything I felt for her. I poured in my gratefulness to the Creator for forming such a perfect mate for me. With each swipe of my tongue, I caressed her lips with all the love I possessed. I inhaled her moans, hoping to meld us together even more. In my mind, our bears brushed against each other, pawed playfully at one another and got lost as only animals can. She hooked her fingers into my belt loops and pulled me against her, rocking my hips against hers. Her mouth was so sweet, the finest honey couldn’t compare. Our heartbeats and breaths rose together, pulsing and panting, my desire for her grew by the second.

  You might never get to quench that desire.

  The thought alone was enough to break our moment and throw ice water on the fire we’d kindled. I tried not to completely cut her off instantly—instead, I slowed down, grazing pecks along her jaw, down her neck; until we’d come down from the tower we’d built.

  “Wow,” she breathed against my ear.

  “Wow is right.”

  “We should get out of here,” she secreted and I expected it to be coupled with a smile, but instead I found she was compl
etely serious, and it made me arrogant knowing that her craving was as ravenous as my own.

  “Come on,” I grabbed her hand, and we met the cold air outside just in time, as my mind was already wandering back to her lips.

  At the ice cream shop, I leaned against the counter and watched with unabashed obsession as she tasted nearly every flavor from the little pink spoons. I chuckled as she pointed out another flavor to taste before she’d even tasted the one in her hand. I loved those two facets of her, the one who knew who she was when she was with me, but she was like a newborn cub in her incessant curiosity about things she’d never been exposed to.

  When it was time for her to decide, she ticked her eyes over to me and then sheepishly ordered one scoop of vanilla.

  “What,” she asked as I questioned her with my eyebrows.

  “All of that tasting and you end up with one scoop of vanilla?”

  “Well, I’m kinda full now, and yes, after all that I realized I really just like vanilla.”

  Kissing her temple after I handed the girl behind the counter money, I mumbled, “That’s what life’s about.”

  I drove us out to a place near the lake, and we ate in silence. The sound of scraping her paper bowl with the pink spoon broke me from my trance. I pondered on my own words from earlier. It was true. Even in my sheltered existence in the clan, I’d done so many things and seen so many things she hadn’t. Her mother had things to teach her, and I knew without a doubt that if she didn’t take this chance given to her—she would regret it.

  “How long are you gonna lie to me?”

  There was no point in continuing the façade.

  “Until it doesn’t make me nauseated to tell you the truth.”

  “Well, let me know when that is. I can’t stand it when you lie to me. And not telling me the full truth is deceit.”

  Her words curdled the milk in my stomach, and I knew the only cure would be to tell her. Then my damned phone buzzed in my pocket.

  “What?”

  “Alpha, there’s been a break in at your house. Rev and Aspen are on their tails. Please tell me you have the Coeur with you.” It was Tarrow, breathless, and his voice was laced with worry.