Spark: A Bad Boy's Second Chance Romance (Burns Brothers Book 3)

by Gillian Archer

  And now all this with Sabrina. It was too much. I’d let too many people down. I couldn’t keep fucking everything up in my life.

  When my headlights revealed a familiar figure huddled on my front step, I knew what I had to do.

  My heart heavy, I parked my truck and climbed out. Each step toward Sabrina was torture because I knew what was coming. Seeing her tear-soaked face made me feel even worse. “Oh god. Please tell me you haven’t been sitting here since I left work.”

  She shook her head. She opened her mouth and tried to speak but only a sob came out.

  I didn’t think it was possible, but my heart sank deeper. I grabbed her hand and pulled her up so I could wrap my arms around her. It was an exquisite form of torture to hold my woman in my arms. I wanted her.

  But I knew I had to let her go.

  But first. “Come on. Let’s go inside and warm you up.”

  Although it was spring, it still got down to the forties after dark.

  She let me pull her inside where we were met with a cacophony of barking little puppies and one very irritated mama. Shit, I’d forgotten to call Travis.

  “I’m so sorry, Bella.”

  I got Sabrina settled on the sofa with a blanket and then took care of the dogs—changing out their water, food, and bedding. Giving Bella a deep rub down to make up for forgetting her.

  When I came back from my trash run, Sabrina was still bundled up on the sofa staring at the puppy pile with the saddest fucking expression I’d ever seen. Longing. Fear. Sadness. The mix broke my heart. I couldn’t take it.

  Especially knowing what I had to do.

  I crawled onto the couch next to her and wrapped my arms around her. She felt like everything I’d ever wanted. Softness. Forgiveness. Home.

  And then she broke my heart again when she burst into tears. “I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t want you to find out about the baby this way. I wanted to tell you myself, but I wanted to wait. I wanted you to be… I don’t know. Stronger? Ready? You know what I mean, right? I’m so sorry. I never thought it would go down this way. But I should’ve known. My family always fucks everything up for me. That doesn’t forgive the fact I wasn’t the one to tell you. I’m so sorry.”

  “Sabrina, baby. Ssshhh.” I hugged her tight. Her pain doubled my own. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”

  She pulled out of my arms and looked at me incredulously. “What are you sorry for?”

  “That I wasn’t there for you. That I never returned even one of your fucking phone calls. That you went through all that alone.”

  She reached up and grazed my sore jaw with a gentle fingertip. “I’m so sorry that my brother is such an asshole.”

  “He loves you.” I shrugged. “I get it. I wish he would’ve said something before he sucker punched me, but I get it. It’s impossible not to love you.”

  “Logan.” Sabrina ducked her head and made that laugh/sob sound again. “Just when I think it’s not possible for you to get any more amazing, you surprise me. Every goddamn time.”

  Shit. I didn’t know I could feel any lower but here I was. I knew what I had to say, but I had no idea how to say it. Especially when she kept going.

  Sabrina gave a shaky sigh. “Now I feel bad that I quit.”

  “Wait. What?” I stared at her in horror. “You quit your job?”

  “Well yeah. I might’ve also said some unforgiveable shit to Nathan and Ryan. At least I hope so. There was a lot of shouting. I don’t remember exactly what I said.”

  “Fuck.” I pulled away and buried my face in my hands. “You shouldn’t have done that. Any of it.”

  “Are you serious? Nathan sucker punched you twice. And Ryan.” She paused and her voice grew more emotional. “Ryan knew I didn’t want to spread this around. But I should’ve known after I talked to Maddie and Hope about it last week. I told them I wanted to wait until you were ready—she had to go running to her guy and spill everything.”

  There was a lot to unpack there, but one thing really stood out to me. “So, you got together with your friends and had a little group meeting to discuss when and how you were going to tell me about your miscarriage? About how you lost my fucking baby?”

  “Well yeah. You don’t…you weren’t ready.” She tilted her head and gave me that sympathetic look I saw so many times from the nurses. From my parents. My sister. Strangers on the street.

  I’d never once seen it on Sabrina’s face.

  Until now.

  “And that was your decision to make? You get to choose when I’m ready to hear that you lost my baby? Because you’re so fucking qualified to know what the hell is going on inside my head? Where the fuck do you get off?”

  “Are you serious?” Sabrina expression quickly morphed from sympathy to amazement. “I tried to tell you for months, so you’re the reason you didn’t already know. Don’t put this on me.”

  “Kinda hard to answer a phone in the burn ward,” I retorted. “What’s your excuse for the past few weeks? Apparently I’m good enough to fuck, but not good enough to confide in?”

  “You don’t get to play the fucking victim! When we first met up again you pretended you didn’t remember me! What the hell, Logan? You really think you have a fucking leg to stand on?”

  “That was weeks ago! We made up. We’ve had sex! I met your fucking father! When were you going to tell me? When, Sabrina?”

  “I don’t know, okay?” She screamed back in my face. Then she blinked and sat back against her side of the couch. “I don’t know, Logan. I thought I was doing the right thing. I just don’t know.”

  “I don’t either.” I sighed. Everything felt so out of whack. Me and Sabrina. The fire. My friends. My job. It was all just too much. So I finally said the thing that’d been burning at the back of my mind since this whole thing had happened. “I think we need to take a break. I can work on me and you can…”

  “I can what?”

  “I don’t know, Sabrina.” I sighed heavily as my world fell apart around me. “Whatever makes you happy.”

  “But you make me happy,” she whispered. “I want to be with you.” Tears streamed down her face, and my heart thudded painfully in my chest.

  I hated it. I hated all of it, but I knew I had to do what was best for me.

  For both of us.

  And right now, this wasn’t it.

  “I’m sorry, Sabrina.”

  She pushed herself up and off the sofa and gave me a painfilled glare. “What is it you said? Sorry doesn’t matter for shit. If you do this, Logan, I don’t know how we can come back from it. I’ve given up everything for you. My job, my family. Everything. Don’t do this.”

  “I never asked you to. And I really hope you don’t.” I shook my head. “I’m not worth it.”

  She gave me a look that was full of so much emotion, but didn’t say anything more as she turned and walked away.

  The sound of the door clicking shut behind her was so final. And painful.

  Did I do the right thing? Everything inside me cried out to go to her. Beg her forgiveness.

  But I didn’t.

  I couldn’t.

  Chapter Twenty

  Sabrina

  I didn’t think it was possible, but I felt worse this morning than I had last night. It was like the harshest hangover ever combined with a flu. Being heartsick was the worst. I just wanted to roll over and sleep for… Why put a time limit on it?

  Bam! Bam! Bam!

  “Come on, Sabby. Open up!” Austin’s voice boomed from my front door.

  I didn’t budge from my cozy cocoon. I didn’t want a single thing to do with those alphaholes. They’d fucked up my life enough for one week.

  For a lifetime really.

  I pulled the blanket up over my head and tried to pretend that they weren’t there. And that my heart hadn’t been shattered into a million little pieces.

  Then I heard footsteps down my hallway, followed by my bedroom door opening.

  No one said a word, but I kn
ew at least four people had come inside. Mostly because the Burns Brothers always travelled in packs and stomped around like a freaking herd of elephants.

  Whoosh. The blanket went flying off my bed, and my world was suddenly lit up in stark technicolor.

  I glared at the lot of them gathered around my bed. “Fuck off.”

  I got in a tussle with Ryan over my quilt, but eventually gave up just to watch the quilt and him go flying when I let go. Grunting in satisfaction, I got up and stomped over to my master bathroom. Just before I closed the door behind me, I grumbled, “Get out.”

  I doubted they’d listen to me, but who cared. They’d give up eventually. I hadn’t been kidding when I quit yesterday. I was pissed off at all of them—Nathan most of all—but I was done having them meddle in my life time after time. I’d move to Timbuktu if it meant getting them outta my life.

  I peed then as I stood in front of the sink to wash my hands, I finally saw my reflection. I gave a startled shriek. Oh my god. Was that what I really looked like? A mess of poofy hair, smudged mascara, and red eyes. I batted down my frizzy hair as the door swung open.

  “What’s going on?” Dylan asked as he hovered in the doorway. “You okay?”

  “Oh my god. Seriously? OUT!” I shoved him out of the bathroom then slammed the door shut.

  This time, I locked it.

  I couldn’t deal with them. They were exhausting. And it didn’t help that I’d had like three hours of sleep last night. I just wanted to crawl back into my bed and block the world out. I could deal with the shitstorm that my life had become tomorrow; I didn’t have it in me today.

  Of course my family never gave an eff what I thought. Because after I washed my face and brushed my teeth and hair, I found all four of my brothers lounging around my bedroom. Austin had taken the arm chair in the corner—after shoving my pile of jeans onto the floor of course. Nathan leaned against the closet door with Dylan while Ryan paced back and forth in front of the bathroom door.

  “—can’t believe you. Did you not use your fucking brain?” Dylan grumbled as I silently opened the bathroom door.

  Austin’s eyes met mine, and he gave a slight shake of his head.

  Nathan frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. “I wasn’t thinking. I just acted.”

  “Exactly. Didn’t you learn one fucking thing from that anger management class?” Dylan retorted. He turned in his pacing and froze when he saw me standing in the doorway. “Hey, Sabrina. I didn’t think you were coming out.”

  “By all means go on.” I waved a hand. “I was appreciating the ass-reaming you were giving Nathan. Maybe include Ryan in it too for spilling the beans after all. Continue. Please.”

  Nathan pushed away from his slouch and crossed toward me. “Sabrina, I really need to say—”

  I scoffed, cutting him off. “Save it. I know you. You’re not sorry. You’re only sorry that I’m pissed off. I’m running on like three hours of sleep. I don’t have patience for assholes right now. Which is why all of you have to leave. Now.”

  Austin stood up. “He is sorry. Or at least he should be. He definitely will be by the time we leave here. But we do need to talk about what happened at the shop yesterday. All of us. Together.”

  “Whatever. I’m not saying shit until I have at least one cup of coffee in me.” I walked toward the door but froze when Dylan spoke.

  “I brought you a cup. It should still be warm.”

  Despite how pissed off I was at the group, I couldn’t really be mad at Dylan. Of all the brothers, he was the one I was the closest to. Although lately he’d been MIA. I needed to ask him what was going on—he’d lost weight lately and looked kinda…haunted. But I’d been so lost in my own drama, I hadn’t been there for him.

  “Thanks, Dyl.” I replied huskily. I knew without asking that he’d stopped by my favorite coffeeshop. Unlike his brothers, Dylan remembered what I drank. If Nathan did the coffee run, he’d just buy five cups of what he liked—plain ole black, boring coffee. Ugh.

  A few minutes later, I was in my living room curled up on one side of my sofa, coffee in hand and staring blankly as my brothers traded uncertain looks around me. No one knew what to say and none of them wanted to go first.

  I didn’t really give a shit. It wasn’t like any of them were going to change my mind.

  Finally—after a few more glares—Nathan spoke. “I am sorry, Sabrina.”

  I rolled my eyes and buried my head in my coffee.

  “I mean it. Your miscarriage was none of my business. And I was wrong. None of it was his fault. I realize that now.”

  Now. Yeah, right. But still I didn’t say anything.

  Nathan groaned at my lack of response and went on. “I just wish you’d said something. It hurts that you went through so much, and I didn’t have a fucking clue.”

  “So it’s my fault you fucked up?” I sneered. “Thanks so much.”

  “That’s not what I meant.” Nathan threw his hands in the air. “Maybe someone else should talk. I can’t seem to say anything right.”

  I huffed and took another slurp of my coffee.

  “Because you’re wrong.” Ryan retorted. “Sabrina can share as much or as little of her life with us as she wants. Which you would’ve heard me say yesterday if you hadn’t run out of my place like a bat outta hell. But are you gonna sit on your high horse like you share everything with us, Nathan? Give me a fucking break.”

  Nathan glared back at his brother. “I don’t hide the important shit. Unlike you two.”

  It’d been over a year ago, but apparently Nathan was still pissed that Ryan hadn’t shared his accidental pregnancy with all his brothers at the same time. Dylan and I had been told about the pregnancy weeks before the other two. Although in my defense, Ryan had only told me because I’d eavesdropped on a phone call he’d been having in my office. Which was also how Ryan had found out about my miscarriage. He’d kept my secret for almost a year. So it was especially shitty that he’d gone behind my back and blabbed now.

  But he’d never judged me. Never made me feel bad about it.

  Unlike Nathan.

  “Maybe there’s a reason for that.” I finally spoke up. “You ever think about that, Nathan? Maybe there’s a reason no one here confides in you.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “Are you serious?” I boggled. “How about how what you did to Frederick back in high school when you found out about us? He wouldn’t even talk to me after that conversation you had with him. Do you remember the things you said when you found out about Ryan’s accidental pregnancy last year? And yesterday, you sucker punched Logan when you found out about us. Why the hell would any of us ever tell you anything?”

  “Frederick had it coming. I can’t believe you still don’t know, but he was saying a bunch of shit about you behind your back. Telling everyone you were putting out and willing to do a threeway with his best friend. Little fucker had a death wish. He’s lucky he walked away in one piece.”

  I sat in shock for a second. “I didn’t know that.”

  But I remembered all the looks I got in high school. The whispers behind my back—from the guys and the girls. I’d just assumed it was because of my brothers. All the guys wanted to be them, and all the girls wanted to get with them. Apparently I didn’t know what they were really talking about—me.

  I wondered if Maddie knew. And if she did, why she didn’t tell me.

  I shook my head. “I doubt I’ll be going to my reunion in a couple of years but still. I was a teenager, and yes maybe I needed help then, but I’m an adult now. Logan didn’t do anything. You had no right to wade in and make such a huge fucking scene. It wasn’t your business.”

  “I’m sorry, Sabby.” Nathan hitched a shoulder. “But I’m not as sorry as you probably want me to be. I love you. You’re my little sister. It’s my job to protect you.”

  “But you were wrong.” Austin prompted like they’d come up with a whole script of how this was goin
g to go.

  I rolled my eyes.

  “I was wrong.” Nathan dutifully repeated. “Logan seems like a standup guy, and I’m sorry if I caused friction for you two.”

  “Friction?” I scoffed. “Are you fucking kidding me? He broke up with me. He wasn’t ready to hear about what’d happened, and he freaked. So fuck you very much. Your sorry doesn’t mean shit.”

  Because Logan was right. Actions meant more than apologies ever would.

  Ryan coughed. “I know you’re probably not ready to hear this right now, and unlike some people I owned up to my part in that fuckery yesterday, but I am sorry. I didn’t mean to let it slip to Nathan. Hope had just told me what you guys had talked about, and Nathan kinda walked in on our conversation and figured it out.”

  And once again it wasn’t his fault. It was Hope. And Nathan.

  I was just so fucking tired of it all.

  Hitching a shoulder, I shrugged. I didn’t even have the energy to say what I really thought.

  The guys fell silent. Ryan and Dylan exchanged a look while Austin and Nathan fidgeted. None of them apparently had anything to say to that.

  Finally Austin cleared his throat and spoke. “Are you really quitting?”

  “Please don’t leave.” Ryan shook his head. “I don’t think I can keep these assholes in line all on my own.”

  I had to laugh at that. But then I did that thing where my laughter ended in a sob. And then one sob became two. Then three. Covering my eyes, I cried.

  I cried and cried until my eyes ached.

  Sometime in all that someone’s arms wrapped around my shoulders, and they pulled me up and into their lap. Through a haze of tears, I saw Nathan’s fuzzy outline. He murmured senseless but comforting sounds as he held me and let me cry it all out.

  Despite how pissed off I was at him, I appreciated that he was the one to step forward and try to comfort me. Maybe he really was sorry.

  I was just starting to calm down when the front door crashed open. They didn’t even knock. Nobody seemed to. I needed to install some sort of security system to keep my freaking family out. Because who else could it be?