Altered

by Kimberly Montague

  I removed my hands from his arm, and threw them up in the air. "Okay, so go then. Leave me here with Butcher and a gun, and I'm sure I can completely take care of myself if Jay and the psycho brigade come for me. I'm sure Gary will jump in the way, but he's strong, right? No problem. I'm sure he's totally capable of handling the situation."

  I had him. I could see him work through it on his face—see the image running through his mind. I was totally right. His shoulders slumped in defeat.

  "You're stronger than all of us combined, Dev. I may be in possible danger with you here, but I'm certainly in danger without you."

  He stared off into the distance at nothing in particular it seemed. When he closed his eyes and shook his head, I knew for sure I had won. I threw myself back into his arms.

  His voice was so shaky and scared. "I don't want to hurt you, baby."

  I felt really badly for manipulating him. He only wanted what was best for me.

  "You won't, I promise."

  He laughed at my promise. Okay, so I couldn't guarantee something like that, but I knew him—I knew he would never hurt me on purpose, and that was enough of a guarantee for me.

  He wrapped his arms around me, but didn't squeeze me tightly like he usually did. "We should move. This isn't a good spot to defend ourselves. We could try to hide, but I think there are too many of us. We should get off this road and into the surrounding trees." He went back to staring off in the distance and even his voice was still distant. "We're too out in the open here."

  "I agree. Just let me brush my teeth real quick and get Sonya and Gary up to help."

  After kissing him on the cheek, I left him to his own thoughts and wandered off to live in my own mind for a moment. What if Jay was already on his way here? What if there was a battle between them? It scared the crap out of me to think that something might happen to Dev while he was defending me. Harm always told me that fear was a "strategic emotion" put there to warn us to be cautious. He said you had to be careful not to let it rule your brain or the fear of the thing would only serve to make that thing stronger. Remembering this, and not wanting Jay and the psycho brigade to have a larger hold on me, I was determined to get a grip and get back to being useful.

  When I came back to the group, Dev was sitting with Donald, Ted, and Kim. They were talking about something serious—I could tell from Dev's very chiseled facial expression and the rapid way his Adam's apple moved. I wondered what was being said, and if they were talking about the infection. Kim looked up, and her eyes connected with mine. As I turned toward Sonya, Kim started walking toward me.

  "Gary? You awake?" I tried to sound gentle, but I really needed them up. The support they offered me never ceased to amaze me, and in this current situation, it seemed like something beyond measurability.

  Gary's head popped up right away in the sleeping bag as he scooted to a sitting position with Sonya following a moment later.

  "We're awake, just trying to hide from reality." Sonya sounded so tired.

  As overdramatic as it may sound, I felt like this was all my fault. We wouldn't have been in this mess if Jay hadn't challenged Dev to go into that stupid cave. Hearing the tension and exhaustion in Sonya's voice only made me feel worse.

  "Dev—his infection—it's, his eyes, are green today." I had to stare at my hands as I said it. It sounded absurd, frightening, and completely serious all at the same time.

  "Green?" Gary looked over to where Dev was standing with his back now turned to us. "What does that mean?"

  "I don't know. I think the infection has run its course through his system. Jay's eyes were green when he attacked me at the dance, I just didn't really connect it until now. Dev wanted to get away from us—he's stronger too—but I convinced him we would need his strength if Jay and his psycho brigade show up."

  Gary huffed. "Psycho Brigade? Good name for 'em. Well I'm glad you talked him into staying. I think if he were gonna to turn all crazy, he would have done it by now. I don't know what's so different about him or Ted or Donald, but something's helping his body resist it."

  "Piper?"

  I turned to see Kim standing in front of us staring guiltily at the ground. I didn't know what she had to look guilty about, but I got up to speak with her. She walked away about ten feet from where I was then stopped and turned back to me. I followed her and as she lifted her head up, I thought about how this must be affecting her. Her best friends—the guys she was always with—were both infected. I had a pretty strong idea how she felt, or thought I did until she looked up into my eyes.

  I took a giant step back, shaking my head in denial and fear. My eyes were like giant saucers, I was so completely shocked. Green—her eyes were green. How could that be? She wasn't in the cave. She wasn't even on the camping trip. How could she be infected?

  She held up both her hands in a defensive posture that made me feel bad about my reaction. She was still Kim. She was like Dev and Ted and Donald, resistant to it. But how? I shook my head, unable to get my mind wrapped around it. They said the infection spread. Clearly it spread, but how on earth was it spreading? I backed away several more steps, not from fear of Kim, but from fear of what she represented.

  "Wait, Piper, I swear I'm not dangerous. I would never hurt anyone; you have to know that."

  The shock of it all stuck my brain in spin cycle, and all I could do was keep shaking my head. "No, I—I just—I know—I know you're Kim. I just—how?"

  She pulled up the sleeve of her sweatshirt and showed me three very green scars running down a three or four-inch section on the outside of her lower arm. "When the guys were out sick, I went to see them to take them their homework and check on them. Donald and I were playing on his PS3. I called him a cheater and grabbed his controller. He was laughing, he didn't mean anything by it, but he grabbed my arm to get the controller back and scratched me. Our nails are really thick and strong, and they seem to grow like ten times faster than they used to." She looked down at her nails, picking at them.

  My brain flashed back to the dance when I grabbed Dev's hand—when I noticed his nails. They were long, too.

  "And they're always dirty, Piper. There's something—underneath. Like a sap or a sticky oil, something that must infect others. He didn't mean to, but Donald drew blood when he scratched me. It must have gotten into my bloodstream."

  It didn't make any sense to me. The timing was all off. "But that was only like four or five days ago. How could you—"

  "I know." She continued to pick nervously at her nails. "It moved a lot more quickly through my system, but it did in some of the guys that were with Michael, too. I don't understand it, but I'm like Ted and Donald. I have more strength than I could ever imagine, I get frustrated and angry easily, but I'm not all freaky, and I—" She looked down at the ground, kicking at imaginary objects. "—I'm scared, Piper. I don't know what will happen to me—to us. I'm just glad that I have Ted and Donald and Dev. I can't imagine going through this alone."

  I stepped forward slowly and put my arms out to her. Like Dev, she barely put her arms around me, but she let me hug her. "I'm sorry, Kim. I wish I had answers for you."

  She chuckled but with absolutely no humor. "I'm just glad you aren't scared of me. Dev said you wouldn't be. He even said he wished you were. Just be careful around his nails, Piper. They're like steel or something." She pulled back to look at me again, and it was uncanny the unnatural shade of green her eyes had taken on. Set against her light blonde hair, they stood out like a bright neon sign on a dark moonless night.

  She held her hand out to me a little shyly, and I smiled at her as I took her hand and looked at it. I wasn't afraid of her. She was Kim. "I should call you Kim steel from now on. At least you won't have to worry about chipping nail polish." I was relieved when she cracked a very small, but genuine smile. I put my arm around her shoulders, giving her a little hug before she went back to the circle of "infecteds" leaving me a few moments alone. Sonya, Gary, and Dev had already started waking everyone, l
etting them know we were going to move north through the trees where our trail would be better hidden.

  As I dug through my bag for my hairbrush, I stumbled upon my cell phone. Practically useless since I really only talked to Harm who was unreachable in North Carolina, I nearly tossed it back in my bag. However, something made me take a second glance to find the notification light blinking urgently at me. I walked away from the group, looking at my text messages. My heart jumped and I got really teary as I read the message from Harm.

  What the hell is going on? Gabriel left an urgent message with Red Cross. R U OK? Call me ASAP!

  I only had one bar, but I prayed it would be enough to get through. I needed Harm— needed him so badly that I felt like breaking down right there and crying out for him like I had when I had a nightmare as a kid. The line kept breaking up, but his cell phone was ringing. I didn't know how he got special permission to have his cell phone, but I didn't care to think about it in that moment.

  "Evie, are you okay?" He sounded panicked, which was really surreal for me since Harm never, ever panicked.

  "Harm." I started crying. I couldn't keep it together. I tried, but I just couldn't. "I'm okay. I'm scared. I'm really, really scared!"

  "Where—I'm coming—you." The signal wasn't holding. I turned and moved, trying to get it back.

  "Harm! Harm?"

  "Ee—you—" It wasn't clear enough.

  "Harm? Can you hear me?" No response, but the call hadn't been dropped. Maybe he could still hear me even though I couldn't hear him. "I'm north of Bishop on an off-road dirt path. Gabriel's truck is on the side of the road. We're going north through the trees to hide. Jay's after me. Harm? Can you hear me? Harm?" But there was still no response. "Jay killed Samantha, Harm." I started really sobbing, and it took everything I had to push the words out. "He killed her, and he wants to kill me. Dev's with me—" but I suddenly realized that he would have no idea who Dev was. I hadn't written to him in over a month since I knew he was unreachable. "Dev is—" The phone started beeping, and tears ran down my cheeks—the call was lost.

  I tried and tried to redial him, but I couldn't find a signal. I turned and walked and held it up in the air, but it never got the signal back. Defeated, scared, and so completely homesick for Harm, I dropped down to the ground and sat there staring at the dead phone. I tried to count to ten, tried to calm myself down enough to get a grip back on what needed to be done, but the hopelessness just seemed to strangle me. The possibility, the hope that Harm's voice had given me—hope that he would come and rescue me, hope that he would protect me, hope that he would fix everything the way he always had—suddenly fell away with that lost call. There in an instant, gone just as quickly, but it left me feeling so much worse than I had before.

  "Hey beautiful, can I get your number?" Despite Dev's joking words, his tone carried absolutely none of its usual teasing lightness.

  I tried to pull my shoulders back, tried to raise the corners of my mouth just a little, but all I could do was stare at the useless lifeline I had to Harm. Dev flopped down beside me and pulled me gently into his arms. I was too drained to resist.

  "What's wrong?"

  Was he serious? What wasn't wrong?! We were trapped in this freaking town with a group of psychotic murderers infected with some kind of freaky contagious fungus that. The man I loved had been turned into some super-strong infected thing. And I just lost the only contact I had with my protector. Was anything right in the world?

  I took a deep breath. "My cell phone won't work." Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I felt powerless to stop them. It sounded silly, and I wanted to explain, but I couldn’t seem to speak properly. "Harm—the phone died while I talked to him. I want him here."

  Dev ran his hand down my head, smoothing my hair in a soothing way. "I know, baby. I wish I could take you to him and get you out of here."

  "I can't handle this, Dev. I'm so scared, I can't shut it off."

  He kissed my forehead. "Shh, it's gonna be okay. I'll protect you."

  "You want to leave me."

  "I won't. You're right; I can protect you better than anyone. I won't leave you, okay? I promise. Until I can put you in Harm's hands, I won't leave you."

  I was hugging him so tightly that it was a good thing he was super strong, or I might have crushed him. As it was, he hardly seemed to notice.

  "Now, come on, baby. Harm would expect you to be strong. Together—you and me—we're strong. I need you to be the other half of my strength. I'm worried too, and I need you to help me through this."

  Taking a deep breath, I loosened my grip on him. Hearing him admit that he needed me to be strong was enough to pull me back together a little. I didn't want to be some useless, quivering mess.

  "Good," he said calmly. "Now we need to get out of here. Help me get moving."

  I nodded and pulled back from him, tucking the phone in my pocket.

  He got up and put his hands out to me, helping me up. He held both my hands in one of his and cupped my cheek with his other hand. "I love you; you know that?"

  "I love you too." My voice still sounded small and weak, but I was up and feeling like my second wind was starting to hit. "Thank you."

  His lips met mine softly and innocently before he grabbed my hand and pulled me back toward the group.

  Green-eyed Monsters

  Thankfully, it didn't take us long to be on the move. I was surprised that no one fought us on the plan to keep moving, but by the frightened looks on their faces, it was apparent they weren't in the right frame of mind to formulate their own plans. We moved throughout the morning, not quickly, but at a sensible pace. Several families brought food supplies with them, and along with our own pile of granola bars, bags of cereal, and various other snacks, we were able to prevent starvation. It wasn't a lovely meal, but it gave us enough energy to keep moving. Dev, Ted, Donald, and Kim carried more than their fair share of the supplies insisting their strength made them much more able to move quickly while weighted down. Knowing Dev's personal strength, I couldn't argue with them, and knowing my personal strength—or should I say lack of it—left me with even less of an argument.

  If we hadn't been so intent on staying alive, I would have been completely taken with the landscape surrounding us. The bright oranges, shades of gold, and vibrant reds of the trees interspersed with the eternal green of the pine trees were breathtaking when set against the backdrop of the white mountain peaks extending high into the sky. I longed to be enjoying this view with Dev under different circumstances.

  I thought perhaps someday this would be all over, and we could come back to see the beautiful landscape we were rushing through. But that thought led to wondering if there would ever really come a day when it was "all over." It was difficult to imagine. Would he always be infected? Maybe there was some cure—some way to reverse what had been done to his body. I tried my best to focus on the happy possibilities, but that incessantly negative voice living inside of me kept whispering in the back of my head those things I was trying not to hear: this infection might kill him, he might go crazy anyway and kill me, we all might die when Jay's group finds us, I might never see Harm again. Luckily, the quick and risky pace I set of slamming my feet down into the earth faster and with more ferocity left my mind less time to focus on unhelpful thoughts.

  We were moving higher, and the terrain was much more treacherous. Some of the others were having trouble, especially the kids. Turning back, I saw that Kim had picked up one of the little girls. She couldn't have been more than five years old, and she only had soft little slippers on her feet. Sonya, I noticed, stayed close Gary and they reached for each other whenever the path got slippery.

  Dev squeezed my hand gently. "I need to talk to Ted and Donald. I'll be right back." He jogged up to the front where Ted and Donald were leading the group. If their facial expressions were any indication, they were concerned about something. I was tired—so tired of trying to anticipate next moves and motivations. Thinking about my co
nversations with Gabriel and how enthralled I was with finding the "conspiracy," I couldn't help but roll my eyes over it all. Why does it always take some massively tragic or horrific experience to make you realize that you should be more appreciative of what you've got and quit obsessing over things that have no importance in your life? While I was glad to have some additional knowledge about the infection, I just really couldn't help but wish I had spent that time talking on the phone with Dev getting to know his stories, his dreams, and his wishes for the future.

  As Dev walked back to me, he kept his eyes on the ground, a surefire sign that things were not going well. What was he "protecting" me from now?

  "What's up?" I tried to sound casual, hoping my voice wouldn't betray the stress I was already feeling. If he thought I couldn't handle it, he certainly wouldn't tell me anything remotely bad.

  He just shook his head, which completely confirmed my previous suspicions—this was bad.

  "I bet Donald or Ted will tell me." I started to jog up to the front of our pack, but Dev quickly and easily caught up to me, grabbing my arm.

  "Okay. Someone's following us," he said quickly.

  I looked back behind us—sort of a reflex action I suppose. "Who? How do you know?"

  "I don't know who it is. It might be Jay, we can't tell."

  "What do you mean you can't tell? How can you know this at all?"

  "Well… we can, uh—" He seemed so nervous. He ran his hand through his hair and looked away from me.

  I placed my hand on his arm to regain his attention. After making my face as relaxed and encouraging as I could, he finally looked back at me.

  "We can… smell them."

  I couldn't help my widened eyes although I had tried not to show any reaction. "You can smell them? You mean like… smell them?"

  "Yeah, well it's another bonus to being infected I guess." It was impossible to miss the sarcasm dripping from his voice.

  I needed to turn this conversation around or he was never going to tell me anything again. "So can you smell me?" Stepping closer to him, I looped my arm through his and looked up, batting my eyelashes at him.