Crushing On The Wrong Joshua (Crushing on You)

by Sarah Adams

  An hour later she was sprinting up the stairs two at a time to her bedroom.

  “Are you okay?” her dad called after her.

  “I'm fine!” she shouted back and slammed her bedroom door shut and locked it.

  Amber sank to her knees and began to ruffle through her backpack. She pulled out the spell book and flipped to page one hundred seven and reread the spell.

  “I did everything! I did everything perfectly! I know it! Why isn't it working?” she whispered desperately, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to swell over her eyelids, “Why isn't it working? This was my last chance and somehow I've blown it!”

  Chapter Four

  Monday mornings were always rough. Amber found this particular Monday morning to be an act of cruel and unusual punishment. She had managed to finish all of her homework (including the makeup work for Mr. O'Bannon), but her spirits hadn't improved.

  Amber spent Sunday afternoon checking Joshua Nelson's social network pages again and again, searching for the smallest indication that he was thinking about her. He had to be thinking about her! The spell was going to work! It had to, because without it she would never gain Joshua's attention.

  Amber stared at her feet as she waited for the school bus. She kicked a rock and watched it skip across the street. Amber felt just like that rock. She was pushed around and kicked around by everyone, and no one noticed. It didn't matter on which side of the street she landed. The bus pulled up and opened its doors. The entrance looked like a hungry mouth waiting to devour her. Amber took a deep breath and hefted herself onto the bus.

  “What a great way to begin a week,” she thought to herself and rolled her eyes.

  “Good morning,” the bus driver grinned at her.

  “Don't be such a morning person, Larry,” Amber groaned as she made her way to the back of the bus.

  Her stop was the third one of the morning, so only three other students were on the bus. Greg sat by himself in a middle seat, reading a paperback thriller. Allison and Julia sat with their heads together a few seats in front of Amber gossiping. Amber wished that Tamara would ride the school bus with her. With someone there to moan and groan to, she wouldn't feel so alone.

  Amber stared at the window and tried not to imagine what it would be like to attend another school dance without a date. It wasn't that other guys hadn't noticed her. Greg had flirted with her every single day on the bus last year, but she just couldn't bring herself to be interested in him. When she finally told him, he had quit talking to her and returned to his normal routine of ignoring the world for his love of fiction.

  Amber zoned out through most of her history class. Although she did manage to obtain the notes she had missed from Friday. She turned in her report and left without engaging in her usual after-class discussion with Ms. Frary.

  She arrived to Math class two minutes early and placed her makeup homework on Mr. O'Bannon's desk.

  “Very good, Miss Atkins,” he said.

  “Sure, Mr. O'Bannon,” she sighed and slid into her desk.

  “Is everything okay at home?” he asked.

  Amber glanced around the room trying to figure out who he was talking about. When she found the room empty, she knew he was talking to her.

  “Of course, everything's fine at home,” she sighed.

  “Hi,' the guy who winked at her on Friday said as he walked by on the way to his desk.

  Amber nodded on at him unable to muster the energy involved in producing a verbal response.

  At lunch Amber sat with Tamara at their usual table and kept her eyes locked to the back of Joshua's Nelson's head.

  “Notice me!” she silently willed him, “Notice me!”

  “He's checking you out,” Tamara said, taking a long drink of her chocolate milk.

  “Maybe if he has eyes on the back of his head under that thick luscious hair of his,” Amber sighed, picking up a fry and dropping it again.

  “Not him,” Tamara sighed, “That guy over there.”

  “What guy?” Amber asked, still frowning.

  “The one at the table by the wall and he's cute too,” Tamara said.

  Amber waited a few seconds after Tamara finished speaking before she turned her head to look. It was the guy from Math. Great, what does he want? Most likely help with his homework. Amber laughed quietly as she turned back to Tamara.

  “What's so funny?” Tamara asked.

  “Nothing, really. It's nothing. He's just in my math class,” Amber said.

  “What's his name and stats?” Tamara asked.

  “DKDC,” Amber said.

  “Huh?” Tamara asked.

  “It's short for 'don't know, don't care,” Amber said.

  “You should though, Amber,” Tamara sighed, “He's cute and he's looking at you.”

  “You don't even know him!” Amber said.

  “You don't really know Joshua Nelson, either, do you?” Tamara asked.

  “Whatever,” Amber sighed and left the table, dumping her untouched lunch into the trash.

  By the time the last bell rang Amber regretted tossing her lunch away. Her stomach growled as she dropped her books off at her locker and headed outside to wait for her dad. Tamara was standing in their usual spot and Amber stood a few feet away. Close enough for an apology, but too far away for normal conversation. She wasn't about to let Tamara off the hook if she didn't apologize. What was it to Tamara who she liked or who liked her?

  Amber knew it was her bad mood brought on by the spell not working making her crabby. She wasn't ready to admit it out loud yet, though. Tamara would never let her live it down. For the rest of their lives she would tease and torment her over the fact she had actually tried to use a love spell to get Joshua Nelson's attention. She had also expected it to work. Amber wanted to bang her head into the pillar she was leaning against. Maybe a few hard knocks to the noggin would make her forget about the guy who had haunted her since fifth grade.

  Tuesday wasn't much better than Monday. The day blurred by and Amber's classes blurred together. At lunch she sat across from Tamara and ate silently. Amber longed to have the spell book back in her possession, but the librarian had refused to allow her to renew it.

  “Four days with the book is long enough,” the librarian had told her.

  “What if I need to try it again?” Amber asked before she could stop herself.

  “I assure you the spell worked,” the older woman promised.

  “How do you know that?” Amber asked, but the librarian disappeared into the staff section of the library where Amber wasn't allowed to follow her.

  “Are you still mad at me?” Tamara asked, startling Amber.

  Amber took a bite out of a chicken nugget, trying to slow her racing heart.

  “Act like she's not there. I don't hear you, Tam, I don't hear you,” Amber thought over and over.

  “I guess you are,” Tamara sighed.

  Amber ate a fry.

  “Damn straight, I'm mad at you,” Amber said silently to herself.

  “I'm just trying to help you, Amber,” Tamara said, “Please talk to me.”

  She ate another fry. One of the cooks had been very generous with the salt today and Amber was going to enjoy every last salty bite.

  “Okay, look, I'm sorry, I just wanted to help!” Tamara said.

  “About time you apologize,” Amber sighed to herself.

  “Fine,” Amber sighed. Tamara had finally said the magic words. “I forgive you.”

  “He's watching you again,” Tamara grinned.

  “Most likely wondering why I keep licking all the salt from my fingers,” Amber laughed.

  “Yeah, why are you doing that?” Tamara asked.

  “We don't eat salt at home anymore. Ever since Dad's doctor put him on a new low sodium diet he makes me suffer with him,” Amber said.

  Amber felt slightly better after making up with Tamara, but every second that passed made her doubt the existence of magic more and more. If magic was real wou
ldn't the spell have worked by now? It had been almost four whole days! Amber was beginning to believe the old woman was some sort of con. Who gave spell books to teenage girls and then refused to answer questions about it?

  Chapter Five

  Wednesday and Thursday came and passed, but Joshua Nelson still hadn't noticed Amber. He hadn't even glanced in her direction! Friday morning found Amber sitting in her usual seat on the back of the bus alone. The bus came to a stop, that wasn't part of its normal route. Amber shivered as a chill traveled up her spine and the light hair on her arms stood up. Her heart skipped a beat and the air around her became thicker than normal.

  “What the hell?” Amber thought, her eyes darting around the bus.

  The guy from math class boarded the bus.

  “Since when does he ride the bus?” Amber wondered, “I never knew he lived so close to me. How do I not know these things? No one knows their neighbors anymore, not really.”

  Amber's heart pounded against her chest as the guy walked towards her.

  “Is he going to try to sit with me?” she thought and rolled her eyes, “Why do I always get hit on by strange kids on the bus?”

  “Hey,” the guys said, sliding into the seat in front of her.

  Amber let out a silent sigh of relief and studded him. He sat sideways in the seat with one leg bent up and his back to the window.

  “Umm…hi,” Amber said, caught off-guard.

  “How's it going?” he asked.

  His hair wasn't as dark as Joshua Nelson's and his eyes weren't blue, but a deep brown. Amber wondered if he had dimples and if they were as cute as Joshua's? She mentally shook herself. This wasn't right.

  “Most likely not!” she thought to herself.

  “It's going,” Amber laughed, leaning back into the seat, “I'm just glad it's Friday.”

  “Me too,” he said.

  Amber wasn't sure what else to say so she allowed herself to zone into the sound of the buses engine. Her heart beat slowly returned to its normal pace and the goosebumps faded. Something was different. Something was out of place, but Amber couldn't put her finger on it. She shook her head and blinked.

  “What the hell had just happened?” Amber thought to herself, “I need to get more sleep or something, because I think I'm losing it.”

  “See you in math,” he said as they got off the bus.

  “See ya,” Amber said and headed to her locker.

  “I should have at least asked his name,” she sighed to herself as she tried her combination for the third time.

  “Over one,” Tamara said appearing next to her, “This is mine. Scoot it.”

  Amber laughed and took a step to the right. She spun the dial around and around stopping easily at the correct spots and her locker opened.

  “He was on the bus today,” Amber said.

  “Impossible,” Tamara said, “His house isn't on the same route.”

  “Who are you talking about?” Amber asked, feeling confused.

  “Joshua Nelson of course,” Tamara sighed.

  “No, not him,” Amber said, shaking her head, “The guy from the caf. You know, the one in my math class?”

  “Oh, him. What? Does he normally ride the bus? Did you talk to him?” Tamara asked, “What did you talk about? Did he ask you to the dance?”

  “Slow down!” Amber laughed, “No, this is the first time I've ever seen him ride the bus. Yes, we talked, but not really. It was just 'Hi, let's be happy it's Friday!” stuff.

  “That's it?” Tamara asked.

  “Yeah,” Amber frowned.

  “Well, it's a start,” Tamara nodded.

  The bell rang and Amber scrambled towards her first period history class. She slid into her desk smoothly and realized that she was feeling a little better. Sure, she still desperately wanted and needed the spell to work, but some of the heaviness that had plagued her for days had disappeared.

  Amber was running late to math, because she stopped at the vending machine to buy a flavored water. She slid into her desk just as the bell rang. The guy from the bus waved from across the room and Amber smiled at him despite the butterflies that were swarming in her stomach.

  “Why does he do this to me?” Amber asked herself.

  “What a warm welcome you offered Amber, Mr. Kirk,” Mr. O'Bannon said, leaning against his desk holding a stack of papers, “I can only hope today's pop quiz will receive the same warm welcome.”

  The class groaned in unison and cleared their desks, keeping only their pencils. Mr. O'Bannon was strict about quiz and exam etiquette. He was cynical and distrusting of his students and was always trying to figure out new ways to stay one step ahead of them.

  “Take one and pass them back,” Mr. O'Bannon said handing the front of each row a stack of quizzes, “Keep them face down and no peeking!”

  There was a ruffle of noises as the quizzes were passed back.

  “Does everyone have a quiz?” Mr. O'Bannon asked.

  “Yes,” the class answered in unison.

  “Were there any extras?” he asked.

  “No,” the people in the back answered.

  “Good,” Mr. O'Bannon said, wearing a smug smile, congratulating himself on his always perfect counting, “You will have exactly eighteen minutes to finish. If you finish early, turn your quiz face down and stare at the chalk board. Do not allow your eyes to wander. When the timer sounds, put your pencils down and pass your quizzes up. You may now begin.”

  Amber turned her quiz over and let out a sigh of relief. The questions were similar to the ones she spent the weekend working. She was happy that the material was still so fresh in her brain. She had a better chance of acing it that way.

  Amber was one of the first to finish the quiz. She turned the paper face down and looked up, chancing a look at Mr. Kirk, as the teacher had called him. Kirk was an interesting last name. She had never heard it before. Mr. Kirk was still hard at work on his quiz, his brow burrowed in concentration. What was so special about him that he would keep drawing her attention? Why did he make her feel nervous? What was it about him?

  “Eyes on the blackboard,” Mr. O'Bannon mouthed at her.

  Amber rolled her eyes as she turned her attention to the chalkboard. She glanced at him again, after checking to ensure that their teacher had returned his attention to the papers he was grading. Most likely pop quizzes from his first class.

  He had put his pencil down and was staring at the blackboard. Amber looked away before he could notice her watching him. She had never sneaked peeks at anyone who wasn't Joshua Nelson before. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him smile. Amber briefly met his glance and smiled. Something strange was happening between them. Did he know about the spell? Was he some sort of witch or warlock or whatever you would call a male witch? Impossible!

  “Stop being paranoid!” Amber scolded herself.

  “Miss Atkins and Mr. Kirk, if you could please wait until after class to pursue your romantic interests it would be most appreciated,” Mr. O'Bannon said, startling them, as well as a few other students.

  Giggles and chuckles sounded from her classmates, but Amber didn't join in. She locked her eyes to the blank side of her quiz and focused on breathing. Her cheeks were flushed and she wanted to run. Why did Mr. O'Bannon have to jump to assumptions and announce them to the rest of the class?

  The timer sounded and the class passed up their quizzes. Amber didn't look up at Mr. O'Bannon when he collected the quizzes from her row. She didn't look up at all until it was time to copy her homework assignment down. When the bell finally rang she darted from the room only to run into Tamara who was waiting outside of class for her.

  “What is wrong with you?” Tamara asked, helping Amber catch her balance.

  “Nothing, let's go,” Amber sighed, “Let's just get to drama!”

  “Okay,” Tamara squeaked, as Amber grabbed the crook of her arm and forced her to follow along.

  “O'Bannon is such a jerk!” Amber sighed when they entered the
empty drama classroom.

  “Damn,” Tamara said shaking her head after Amber filled her in, “He really said that? What did the guy say? Was he smiling or…?

  “I don't know,” Amber said.

  “What? How do you not know?” Tamara asked.

  “I didn't look at him after that. I didn't look at anyone. I was too embarrassed, Tamara!” Amber said.

  “Shh!! Keep your voice down,” Tamara scolded, “It doesn't look bad on you at all. It looks bad on Mr. O'Bannon for being such an asshole.”

  “Please never say that around my dad,” Amber thought to herself.

  “I know. It's just, well, I acted like a total wet noodle. I mean I didn't even look up when Mr. O'Bannon was doing the lecture,” Amber sighed.

  “No, you'll be fine. If he doesn't mention it, don't bring it up either,” Tamara said.

  “Will that work?” Amber asked.

  “Usually does,” Tamara laughed.

  Chapter Six

  “Amber!” her dad shouted from downstairs.

  She forced her eyes open and looked at the clock.

  “It's only eight,” she muttered, shoving her head under the pillow.

  “Amber,” her dad said again. He was closer this time, maybe right outside the door, “Tamara's on the phone. She wants to know if you want to hang out today?”

  “No,” Amber said, “I want to sleep!”

  “I'll tell her you'll call her when you wake up,” her dad chuckled.

  Amber had been up late the night before reading the newest book in her favorite fantasy series. She rolled over and closed her eyes and waited for sleep to reclaim her. Twenty minutes later she groaned and forced herself from bed. She stumbled into the bathroom, silently cursing her bladder for being so demanding.

  “Breakfast?” her dad asked when she arrived in the kitchen.

  “Chocolate milk,” Amber muttered and sat down.

  “Sorry to wake you up, kiddo, I thought maybe you two had made plans or something,” her dad said pouring her a glass of milk and adding the chocolate syrup into it.

  “Not your fault,” Amber muttered, “Tamara knows not to call me before noon on a Saturday unless we have plans.”