The Rise of Monsters: Angelus Book One

by Brianna Jean

  “The fuckboy won’t question me.” She shrugged. “I answer to no one.”

  And just like that, we had ourselves a live-in play toy that ate thorns for breakfast and hearts for dinner.

  “You boys are going to regret this once you realize how fucking cool I am,” she said while scrolling through the television guide. “You’re all going to like me, I promise you that, but I’m serious about the feelings—keep that shit on lock.” She turned to flash us a wicked smirk. “But bring everything else you got.”

  It was dumb. I knew it, they knew it, but I couldn’t say no. I was too excited over the all access pass I was just given. I didn’t have to ignore Bestia anymore, I could touch them, fuck them, enjoy them. I just couldn’t let it go past that.

  But we were in my territory now. I fucked without feelings for years; I locked myself up and threw away the key. I could handle fucking them, especially three of them at once, because I was positive that I couldn’t fall for all three of them. The risk was there, but the reward would be worth it.

  “On a scale from one to ten, how much do you hate action movies?” Quint asked, plopping down next to me on the couch.

  “Zero. I love them.” I smiled, noticing his shoulders were no longer tense. He was back to his normal self, comfortable with our new arrangement because no one had to choose, we had time to explore each other.

  Which would turn out horribly, for sure. But I was content to ignore that part, thank you very much. I was tired and done fighting the urge. I just had to keep my feelings on lock.

  Take what I wanted.

  “Wait, seriously? Can we watch a movie?” He excitedly moved to the love seat and lifted the arm, revealing a hidden compartment. Reaching in, he pulled out a bag of weed, a bowl, and a grinder. He winked at me as he walked back over and reclaimed his seat. Lanier had gone to take a shower, and Cabe was ordering food for all of us.

  I wondered if I would need to drink…blood…but I didn’t feel hungry for it. Not like I did at the clearing.

  “I’ll watch whatever. I’m easy to please,” I replied, my eyes focusing on the magical green stuff in the small baggie he was holding.

  He passed over the supplies and picked up the remote, leaving me to set up the bowl. When I opened the bag, I moaned, unable to help it. “Damn, this is good shit. How do you get this here? This smells like California weed.”

  “It is, Pup.” He didn’t bother looking away from the TV as he scrolled through the movies on demand. “I get all my shit from the West Coast.”

  “Fucking lucky,” I grumbled. My dealer sucked.

  He chuckled and bumped my shoulder with his. “My stash is yours, smoke whatever you want.”

  I smiled, nodding at him, not sure what to say. He was so casual about accepting me.

  “Stop thinking so hard, Minx. This doesn’t have to be complicated. We are bonded, and if we keep questioning it, we’ll drive ourselves crazy.” He turned his body slightly so I could see him wiggle his eyebrows. “And I’m not sure it’s a good idea for me to get crazier than I already am.”

  I laughed, unable to deny his carefree attitude. Quint, when he was scared and vulnerable, gutted me, but a happy and carefree Quint? He was beautiful. Manic. Crazy. Fucking sweet.

  “Alright, I’ll try.”

  He seemed to like my response and resumed scrolling as Cabe came back into the living room. “Pizza is ordered, it’ll be here soon.”

  Quint clapped his hands together. “Hell yeah, I’m getting stoned, and then we’re eating the shit out of it. Please tell me you got it from the old place, not that new shit you forced us to try.” He sighed dramatically and explained to me, “We always order from the same place, but this one wanted to try something new—like a total psychopath—and it sucked dick.”

  “Pizza sucked dick?” I mocked. “I think you’re being just a little dramatic.”

  “I am not being dramatic. It was awful, wasn’t it, Cabey?”

  Cabe glared at him, obviously not liking the nickname. “Yes, you annoying fuck, it was awful. I ordered it from the usual place.”

  “Damn, I was hoping he was just being a drama queen.” I laughed openly, smiling at them both.

  Cabe’s eyes went soft at the sound, and I wasn’t sure what to do with the look on his face. He was obviously excited to have me around, in his life, with his friends, but his feelings for me were already there, and now that I had kissed him, I knew exactly what his love tasted like. I wasn’t sure that I could avoid it forever, especially with the bond, but I genuinely feared that I lacked restraint.

  He was too sweet to deny, too attentive and aware of my every move. I would be risking everything if I fucked him. Because he wouldn’t just fuck me, he’d love me.

  “I gotta pee,” I announced quickly, standing up.

  Cabe shook his head, seeing through me. “It’s on the left, near the stairs.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled, feeling like shit.

  “You said you’d try!” Quint called after me.

  “I am trying!” I called back with a middle finger over my head.

  Man, I needed to get it together.

  Twice now, I heard her laugh from where I was hiding in the fucking bathroom. I hadn’t convinced myself to leave yet, still staring at my own reflection.

  I was a miserable fuck, that much I knew. But her laugh? It had the power to thaw the ice in my veins and quiet the flames in my soul.

  Her voice was fucking soothing.

  I met my own eyes in the mirror, not surprised to see torment written all over my face. I was at war with my feelings, the bond, Anna’s fucking voice. I wanted to steal her away from this—from the threat against her life, from my brothers—all because I was selfish and greedy. Even still, my demons held on with an iron grip. I couldn’t shake them; I couldn’t see past their hatred and anger. The memories that I couldn’t forget continued to haunt me, no matter how much I drank, fucked, or fought.

  My green eyes were hard, my hair still dripping from the shower. After spending hours at Hellhound, searching for the perfect victim, finding her and struggling the whole way through, my chest ached. My heart hurt, and I hated it.

  I hurt her.

  My beast was torn between right and wrong, the bond and my guilt, but he hated that I hurt her.

  I didn’t believe that Annalise would ever admit to being hurt—why would she? We just met, she was Human just days ago, and now she was jealous and hurting over a man she barely knew. It shouldn’t have been that way but that’s what this bond did to us, and one way or another, I hurt her.

  It didn’t matter what the surrounding circumstances were, I couldn’t wipe away the sight of her pain when I walked in and she saw the evidence all over me. I had seen it all play out. She took in my sex hair, my lips swollen from another woman, my neck covered in fucking hickeys. I acted out like a child, blaming her like this was something she could control.

  I wasn’t going to go all soft for her or anything, that wasn’t my style, but ignoring the bond and its wish to protect her, shelter her, stand behind her, was something I couldn’t simply ignore anymore. Tonight proved that.

  I did wonder though, what would happen when we found the solution to our four-way problem. When we denied the bond, none of us would be able to stay Nephilim. We would all Fall. I couldn’t help but wonder…would things stay the same? Would she be a part of our family, or would we lose her along with the bond?

  It was almost too much to bear—the thought of never seeing her again.

  I spent the past two days hating what was between us, but now that I had found a way to have my cake and eat it too…I feared for all of us as much as I rejoiced.

  It was my job to protect my brothers. They put me in charge because my power demanded it. I had the drive, the dedication and the foresight to keep us safe, but now even more weight had been placed on my shoulders.

  A new person and a bond we couldn’t resist.

  Just then, a knock sounded on the door,
ripping me from my thoughts. I paused, knowing who it was on the other side. I’d taken too long, let my feelings get away from me. No doubt the intensity of my emotions sent out a fucking stress call to my raven-haired siren.

  I pulled on my white joggers and didn’t bother with a shirt, towel drying my hair as I moved to open the door to my bathroom.

  There she was, standing right next to the door, leaning against the wall. When she heard me, she looked over.

  Her eyes told me more than anything she could have said out loud.

  She was worried.

  “I don’t want to be here,” she said, not moving. “But your meltdown is going to force me into a meltdown. I’m going to need you to pull it together.”

  I laughed lightly, shaking my head and moving past her to sit on the edge of my bed. “Like you’re doing any better. I can’t feel you like you can feel us, but I can see the gears turning in your head from all the way over here.”

  “Of course they’re turning, Lanier,” she bit out, frustrated. “You make it seem like you hate me. You can’t stand this bond, and I can fucking feel it.”

  A fucking blade was just shoved through my abdomen, I was sure of it.

  I sighed, leaning forward and placing my face in my hands. I spoke through my fingers. “I don’t hate you, Annalise.”

  “A part of you does,” she corrected, her voice strong. “Why?”

  I wasn’t planning on telling her. I wanted to keep my past to myself. It was easier that way—on all of us—but the look in her eyes, the agony written on her face, it was all caused by me, and she just wanted to know why.

  I could, at the very least, give her that. “Because four Nephilim killed my father.”

  I couldn’t look up; I didn’t want to see her face. She liked to wear a mask, but it never hid anything from me. I couldn’t handle pity—or worse, her lack of caring. I hated it, but I wanted her to make it better, I wanted someone—anyone—to make thoughts in my head disappear, but I had let that dream die long ago.

  “My father was Human; my mother was an Angel. When an Angel gets pregnant, she goes back to heaven after giving birth, leaving the Human father to stay on earth and raise the baby. My father knew about Nephilim and knew what I was. He used to tell me that he loved my mother more than anything else in this world. Even knowing that she was going to die, he held her hand until the very last moment. He never hid the details of her death from me. He wasn’t the type of man to go easy on me, but he was the most supportive and decent man I’ve ever met.”

  Annalise moved away from the wall and came over to sit on the bed next to me. I didn’t move, just waited until she got comfortable—her leg brushing up against mine, her body tilted in my direction.

  I continued, “He raised me in an orphanage that was run by a mated Nephilim couple—Aunt Rachel and Uncle John. Together, the three of them raised Cabe and I, plus a few other kids, but our house never felt like an orphanage should. They treated us all as their own, and my father? He fucking loved his job.” My voice came out cracked and full of gravel.

  Annalise reached down and squeezed my thigh for just a second before letting go and placing her hand back in her lap. I closed my eyes and kept going, “I was six when they came for him. A group of Nephilim, four of them, came to our house and ripped my father out. I had no idea why, still don’t to this day, but I watched from the front yard as they hit him over the head and beat him until he was gone. They hadn’t seen me hiding behind a tree.”

  I hated this story, the memories, the smell of grass and tree bark and fucking blood. “I hid, Annalise.”

  “You were a child, Lanier,” she whispered.

  “Yes, of course I was, I was only six, but I was fucking Nephilim. I was just like the men that killed him. I could have done something, anything. I could have at least made my presence known, but instead, I sat there and cried. I held in my screams, I bit down on my tongue so hard that I learned what blood tasted like. I. Fucking. Hid.”

  “Before I say anything, I need you to explain to me what that has to do with me,” she stated, as if she were holding back on what she wanted to say. But that was Annalise, she was calculated and thoughtful. She wasn’t impulsive. She needed to plan and figure out all the facts before she made any rash decisions.

  “I don’t hate you, Annalise. I hate myself.” I turned to look at her, pulling one leg up to rest on the bed, the other still on the floor. Her face was blank, but she was holding it like that on purpose. She wanted more. “I hate what I am because it failed me back then, and it failed him. I deserve to Fall. How could I live my life—enjoy my life—while knowing that a creature like me kicked the shit out my own father while I watched. I stood there while he died, Annalise. I did nothing to help him.”

  I took a deep breath and looked into her lilac eyes, wishing that I could drown in them, float endlessly in her warmth. “So, no, I don’t hate you. But this bond is torture, it’s a fresh kind of hell. I could take everything from you, I could give everything back, we could be something, Annalise, but I can’t choose between my father and my feelings. I did that once before and it cost him his life. Now I live with the consequences and get what I deserve.”

  She was only still for a moment before her features shifted and she gave me a sad smirk. She stood up and put a hand on my shoulder, tugging until I moved to face her, where she now stood between my legs.

  She lifted her hands to either side of my face gently, pulling my gaze to hers, “I won’t tell you that I agree with what you’re doing, because I don’t. I don’t think you should hate an entire race based on the actions of a few people, but I will tell you this. I know a little something about self-hatred. I live with it every day; our demons must be on speaking terms. They come for us the same way, with the same vile thoughts and fucked up morals. Because of that, I know that your mind is made up and you’re going to do what you want to do.”

  She paused, her eyes bouncing between mine. “I’m going to help you find the solution to this fucked up system, and we will deny the bond, but in the meantime…trust me. I know that I’m asking a lot when I say that…and if I were in your position, I would tell you to fuck right off, but I can’t live like this, Lanier. I can’t deal with your torment singing in my head, it hurts too much. The other two will notice, and it will fuck everything up. I feel you the strongest, I hear you the loudest. What you feel, I feel, and I need you to be clearheaded and strong while I follow your lead. I’ll back you up, I’ll help you out, but trust me with this bond.”

  “I’m not sure what you’re saying,” I replied honestly. She nailed everything on the head already, and it was almost scary how well she could read me. I felt myself relaxing as she talked, she was continuing to level with me, giving me the chance to lead with her at my back, but I wasn’t sure what she meant about trust.

  I didn’t give that freely—I didn’t think I had any left to give.

  “I’m saying that I can fuck you without falling for you; I can support you and help you without you having to fear that I might trick you into loving me. Trust that I understand your need to deny the bond, your need to walk away from this world. I don’t understand everything, because this isn’t a world that I know very well, but I do know something about a mission, a plan, revenge. I know that once you start down that path, you’ll stop for no one.” Her eyes bounced between mine, leveling with me. “I’m no one, in the end of all this—I’m a complication, a kink in your plan, but I don’t have to be. Whatever it is you need from me, I can give it to you, but please stop shutting me out. Stop pulling on this fucking bond and then throwing it away when it feels too good. This is your thing, your plan, but you said yourself that we can’t do anything about it right now. So, if it feels good, then let it feel good while we figure this out.”

  She paused, making sure she still had me. “Tie me up, pin me down, but don’t shut me out. I can’t handle it.”

  I didn’t move, my face still in the palm of her hands.

  I
was in awe of her.

  This beautiful creature was willing to stand beside me, help me hunt for my own damnation, and I was hurting her by pushing her away. I didn’t think she would admit it, but here she was, telling me that she was too fragile for my hate. I wasn’t surprised to find that I hated the taste of her pain. I wanted to take it all back and just explain it to her from the beginning, but all I could do was move forward.

  As long as this bond was alive, I’d protect her. It wouldn’t be pretty, I’d most definitely be an asshole, but she would remain safe. Where I could use her, fuck her, pin her down and tie her up. Just like she said.

  I stood, holding out my arms. “Seal the deal.”

  She stepped back, confused. “What?”

  “You have yourself a deal, now you have to seal it.”

  Her eyes darkened, the fire in her soul creeping up slowly, as if waiting for me to back out, to stand down.

  I wasn’t going anyfuckingwhere.

  For now, she was mine.

  And she was going to seal the fucking deal.

  Everything changed in less than a second as I stood before Lanier, my heart in ribbons over his pain, over the guilt that held him back and strung him up. The air shifted, the mood darkened. Lanier was open and vulnerable a few minutes ago, but now he stood before me, looking everything like the Fallen Angel he would become.

  Crazy, dangerous, a beautiful sinner.

  And he wanted me to jump in headfirst.

  “If we do this…” I gritted out, already anticipating the moment that was coming up. I could feel it, our power, our connection. We could burn the world down as long as we did it together.

  “If we do this, we seal the deal.” He took confident strides toward me, closing the distance between us. He kept moving, forcing me backwards into the window overlooking the city. It was nighttime, well past eleven. I was supposed to be downstairs watching a movie with Quint, but his energy was normal, like he’d fallen asleep waiting for the pizza.