Fact. Fact. Bullsh*t!

by Neil Patrick Stewart

  Fact. He also won a Bambi, some Popcorns, and a few BRITs.

  Jackson and his oeuvre have earned over 375 nationally recognized major awards.

  Bullsh*t! Bad the album was released in August 1987, and the single of the track “Bad” was released in September 1987. The music video was directed by Martin Scorsese and was inspired by West Side Story.

  Michael Jackson originally intended the song to be a duet between Prince and himself.

  I would have loved to hear that version!

  THE ELEPHANT MAN!

  “The Elephant Man” was the stage name of John W. Merrick, born in 1883 with paraneoplastic cerebellar degeneration, leaving him with a major limp and a severely deformed head. Merrick toured Europe and the United States extensively as a sideshow until his death in 1938.

  A play about Merrick, called The Elephant Man, debuted on Broadway in 1979 and won the Tony Award for Best Play. In 1980, the cast took on a new member to play the part of the Elephant Man: David Bowie. A very short-lived 2002 revival starred Billy Crudup in the role.

  A movie about Merrick, called The Elephant Man, premiered in 1980. It featured Anthony Hopkins and John Gielgud, was directed by David Lynch, and was produced by Mel Brooks. The movie received eight Academy Award nominations, but did not win any.

  Bullsh*t! Often incorrectly remembered as “John,” the Elephant Man’s real name was Joseph Carey Merrick. He was born in 1862 and died in 1890 at the age of 27.

  Merrick’s medical condition, though unknown, definitely wasn’t paraneoplastic cerebellar degeneration, an autoimmune reaction that many cancer patients suffer. It has been posited that Merrick had neurofibromatosis type 1, Proteus syndrome, or both.

  Merrick spent most of his life in London, for a short time as a novelty exhibit, and he only toured Europe once–a tour that was cut short by the fact that his road manager robbed and abandoned him. He never toured the U.S.

  Fact. The Elephant Man, by Bernard Pomerance, starred Philip Anglim, who received a Tony nomination for best actor. He was replaced by David Bowie, who made his American stage debut in the role. The production also saw Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker from Star Wars) play Merrick for a time.

  Fact. Merrick was played by John Hurt, Hopkins played Frederick Treves, and Gielgud played Carr Gomm, the hospital governor.

  The film was only David Lynch’s second feature, but Mel Brooks reportedly loved his first, Eraserhead, and thought him perfect for the job. Brooks, famous for his farces and parodies, kept his name off all marketing for the film, lest people assume it was a comedy.

  The movie did not win in any of its eight Oscar categories, losing out to such films as Ordinary People, Raging Bull, Tess, and Fame.

  PICASSO!

  Though remembered as Pablo Picasso, “Pablo” was only a nickname. At birth, Picasso’s full name was “Diego Ruiz Picasso.”

  Picasso joined the French Communist Party in 1944, and in 1950 he received the Lenin Peace Prize from the Soviet Union. He once stated, “I am a Communist and my painting is Communist painting.”

  While painting Les Demoiselles d’Avignon (The Young Ladies of Avignon), a 1907 oil depicting five nude prostitutes, Picasso amused himself by painting the prostitutes’ faces to resemble women he knew.

  Bullsh*t! Picasso’s birth certificate read “Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso.”

  The painter’s name followed Spanish naming customs, which meant he took his mother’s last name. Had he been born in the U.S., he would have had his father’s last name and been known as “Pablo Ruiz.”

  Fact. Picasso went on to say, “But if I were a shoemaker, Royalist or Communist or anything else, I would not necessarily hammer my shoes in a special way to show my politics.” According to Jean Cocteau, Picasso once said to him of the Communist Party: “I have joined a family, and like all families, it’s full of shit.”

  Fact. The painting is now universally hailed as a masterwork, but at the time of its first public exhibition, it was deemed by many to be immoral. It is now part of the permanent collection of the Museum of Modern Art in New York City.

  JIMI HENDRIX!

  Jimi Hendrix’s guitar of choice throughout his career was the Danelectro Silvertone. Most of the guitars he played were custom-made for him, left-handed and with an extra-long neck because Hendrix was so tall.

  Jimi Hendrix was born Johnny Allen Hendrix on November 27, 1942. Before forming the Jimi Hendrix Experience, he played in the following bands: the Velvetones, the Rocking Kings, the King Kasuals, the Blue Flames, and the Isley Brothers.

  Jimi Hendrix died on September 18, 1970. The autopsy claimed that he had consumed a large amount of sleeping pills and had asphyxiated on his own vomit. Hendrix is considered to be a part of the “27 Club,” a group of legendary rock stars, all of whom died at the age of twenty-seven.

  Bullsh*t! Jimi Hendrix’s guitar of choice was the Fender

  Stratocaster. He was left-handed, but didn’t have the luxury of custom guitars–he would usually restring right-handed guitars and turn them upside down to play!

  Jimi Hendrix was tall, but not that tall. He was 5 11.

  Fact. Johnny Allen Hendrix was his first name, but his father changed his name to James Marshall Hendrix when he was a toddler. As an adult, he went by “Jimmy” for a long time before changing the spelling to “Jimi.”

  Hendrix played in his first band, the Velvetones, when he was a teenager. As he developed his skill, he would play in multiple bands over several years.

  Hendrix played backup guitar for the Isley Brothers in 1964, and would go on to play with Little Richard, Curtis Knight and the Squires, and Joey Dee and the Starliters before forming the Jimi Hendrix Experience.

  Fact. Despite the large amount of sleeping pills, it is generally believed that his death was accidental.

  Janis Joplin, Brian Jones, Jim Morrison, and Kurt Cobain all died at age twenty-seven, and are therefore members of the “27 Club” alongside Hendrix.

  WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE!

  Shakespeare called his son “Hamlet” after the character from his play of the same name. Hamlet, who did not survive past infancy, was his only child.

  “Advertising,” “circumstantial,” “compromise,” “design,” “employer,” “engagement,” “exposure,” “investment,” “luggage,” “manager,” “misquote,” “negotiate,” “pander,” “petition,” “reinforcement,” “retirement,” “swagger,” “violation,” “watchdog,” and “worthless” are all words that were coined by Shakespeare.

  The Globe Theatre, the famous place where Shakespeare’s plays were produced, burned to the ground during the performance of one of Shakespeare’s plays.

  Bullsh*t! Shakespeare had three children with his wife Anne Hathaway: Susanna, Judith, and Hamnet, not Hamlet. The theory goes that Shakespeare named the character after his son, not the other way around.

  Hamnet died of unknown causes at the age of eleven.

  Fact. In some cases, Shakespeare was literally the first person to use the word, and in others, the word had a very different meaning and he was the first to use it in the way that we use it now.

  Shakespeare also coined “addiction,” “alligator,” “bet,” “bump,” “critic,” “downstairs,” “embrace,” “excitement,” “eyeball,” “generous,” “gloomy,” “glow,” “grovel,” “gust,” “hint,” “housekeeper,” “hurry,” “lonely,” “obscene,” “outbreak,” “puke,” “radiance,” “scuffle,” “shooting star,” “tranquil,” and “undress.” There are many, many more.

  Fact. The fire, which happened on June 29, 1613, started after a cannon was shot off during a scene in Henry VIII.

  AL CAPONE!

  Before he became the most notorious gangster of all time, Al Capone was a model student. He attended public school in his native New Jersey and graduated near the top of his class.

  Al Capone died in 1947 in his Miami Beach hom
e shortly after his forty-eighth birthday. His death was due to heart failure, which was brought on by the fact that he had pneumonia and a severe case of syphilis, and had suffered a stroke a few days earlier.

  When Al Capone bought a house in Palm Island, Florida, the citizenry was so outraged that they hatched a plan to declare martial law and drive him out.

  Bullsh*t! Al Capone grew up in Brooklyn, New York, and did go to public school for a time (P.S. 133), but was expelled at the age of fourteen for hitting a female teacher.

  Fact. Capone spent part of his later life in prison (Alcatraz) after being convicted of tax evasion, but he was released early due to good behavior, work credit, and his advancing syphilis. By the time of his death, the sexually transmitted disease had damaged his brain so extensively that the FBI estimated that he had “the mentality of a twelve-year-old child.”

  The stroke, the subsequent pneumonia, and the complications from his syphilis were too much for Capone to handle, and his heart gave out on January 25, 1947.

  Fact. True. When Al Capone arrived in Florida in 1928, the populace was outraged. The American Legion devised a plan to declare martial law and deny Capone his constitutional rights. While he was subject to a great deal of harassment, Capone defied the local authorities and stayed right where he was in sunny Florida … until he took a trip to Chicago to engineer the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.

  MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.!

  President Reagan signed Martin Luther King, Jr. Day into law in 1983, and it was first observed in 1986. Voters and lawmakers in Arizona refused to honor the holiday, which led the NFL to pull its plans to hold Super Bowl XXVII in Arizona in 1993.

  Martin Luther King, Jr. was posthumously given the Nobel Peace Prize in 1969 for his message of non-violent resistance to racism, making him the first African American to earn the award.

  The FBI tracked King extensively and wiretapped his telephone in the ’50s and ’60s in an attempt to prove he was a Communist. After his world-famous “I Have a Dream” speech in 1963, an FBI memo called King the “most dangerous and effective Negro leader in the country.”

  Fact. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is celebrated in the U.S. on the third Monday of every month, which falls on or near his birthday, January 15.

  Some conservative pundits fought hard against the holiday for a time, citing various reasons, including the idea that the holiday was just for African Americans, and that the holiday was created “illegally.”

  Arizona governor Evan Mecham railed against the holiday and did all he could to strike it down. At the time, Senator John McCain sided with Mecham.

  The National Football League decided to move Super Bowl XXVII from the Sun Devil Stadium in Tempe, Arizona, to the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California, after the NFL Players’ Association urged them to do so, costing Arizona an estimated $350 million in major convention business.

  Two years later, Arizona popularly voted to celebrate MLK Day. Super Bowl XXX was held at the Sun Devil Stadium.

  Bullsh*t! King earned the award in 1964, while he was very much alive, and was at the time the youngest person to ever receive the distinction.

  The first African American to receive the Nobel Peace Prize was Ralph Bunche, who accepted it in 1950 for his work as a mediator in Palestine.

  Fact. The FBI never managed to prove any connection between King and Communism. (He famously said, “There are as many Communists in this freedom movement as there are Eskimos in Florida.”) The FBI did scoop up a lot of dirt about his private life and used it in an attempt to discredit him.

  ALBERT EINSTEIN!

  As a child, Albert Einstein was a notoriously inconsistent (and often downright bad) student, routinely receiving low grades, particularly in math.

  In 1930, Einstein and his student Leó Szilárd patented the Einstein Refrigerator, which required no electricity and had no moving parts. Despite the breakthrough innovations involved, the Einstein Refrigerator never caught on.

  Albert Einstein’s face was a key inspiration for the facial design of both E.T. and Yoda. A photograph of Einstein’s face sold at auction in 2009 for $74,324.

  Bullsh*t! The persistent rumor that Einstein was a bad student is completely false. He did have brushes with authority a couple of times, but he was a brilliant student with top marks (including math). He even penned scientific papers while still a teenager, and was considered to be a wunderkind.

  Fact. Einstein was dismayed to hear of a spate of accidental deaths caused by broken refrigerator seals, which could leak harmful chemicals into the home. His design with Szilárd had no moving parts, which meant no seals to break. The refrigerator did not require electricity, but, instead, a heat source (such as a gas burner).

  Unfortunately for Einstein, conventional refrigerators were becoming more and more efficient, and they remained the norm. Modern-day engineers have revived Einstein’s design, however, because it is remarkably environmentally friendly. The goal is to attain greater efficiency and make them available to the developing world.

  Fact. The design for the face of the iconic alien from Steven Spielberg’s E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial was inspired by images of Carl Sandburg, Ernest Hemingway, and Albert Einstein. The face for Yoda from Star Wars was initially modeled on makeup artist Stuart Freeborn’s, and features from Einstein’s face were eventually incorporated, most notably his eyes and eye wrinkles, in the effort to help Yoda appear wise.

  The $74,324 photograph was the iconic image of Einstein sticking out his tongue. It’s the most expensive photograph of the scientist ever sold.

  CONFUCIUS!

  The philosopher Confucius said, “the only things to come to a sleeping man are dreams,” “even the genius asks questions,” and “death is not the greatest loss.”

  Confucius’s teachings were not widely known during his lifetime and only became popular after his death.

  “Confucius,” a Latinization of the philosopher’s name, was first coined by Italian Jesuit priests when they translated his ideas into Latin. His actual name was Kǒng Qiū, and he was also known as Zhòng Ní.

  Bullsh*t! Those quotes belong to the philosopher (and “thug life” rapper) Tupac Shakur.

  Quotes that are attributed to Confucius include: “Have no friends not equal to yourself,” “The accomplished scholar is not a utensil,” “The man of perfect virtue is cautious and slow in his speech,” and “Without knowing the force of words, it is impossible to know men.”

  Fact. Although he had a few disciples at the time of his death, Confucius was an itinerant teacher, unregarded during his lifetime–and yet his philosophy ended up influencing hundreds of millions of people.

  Fact. Kǒng Qiū is the real name of Confucius. Kǒng is a common Chinese family name. Zhòng Ní was his “courtesy name.” There was a long-held Chinese tradition that men should be given a second name later in life as a sign of respect.

  RONALD REAGAN!

  Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan starred in one movie together: Hellcats of the Navy. The prologue of the movie featured a rare appearance of Admiral Chester W. Nimitz, a five-star admiral in the U.S. Navy.

  As a baby, Reagan was nicknamed “Irish” by his father because of his ruddy appearance. The nickname stuck throughout his entire youth and was resurrected during his presidency by members of his cabinet.

  Reagan began his career as a liberal Democrat, and a supporter of the progressive New Deal policies. Later, he endorsed Republican presidential candidates Dwight D. Eisenhower and Richard M. Nixon while still a Democrat. He didn’t become a Republican until 1962.

  Fact. Ronald Reagan received top billing for the role, and Nancy Davis (as she was then known) was second-billed. The U.S. Navy worked very closely with the production team for the movie, and Nimitz’s appearance in the prologue was extremely unique, since he rarely spoke publicly.

  The movie was released in 1957. The future president and Nancy Reagan had been married already for five years.

  Bullsh*t! His father nicknamed
him “Dutch” as a baby because he looked like “a fat little Dutchman.” He kept the nickname throughout his childhood.

  Consequently, we can assert with conviction that no members of his cabinet ever addressed Reagan as “Irish.”

  Fact. When Reagan became a Republican, he stated, “I didn’t leave the Democratic Party. The party left me.”

  Reagan was the host of television’s G.E. True Theater from 1954 to 1962, a role that demanded much speechmaking, most of which he wrote himself and espoused pro-business conservative ideals, such as low taxes and small government, even though he was a Democrat.

  CHE GUEVARA!

  Che did not start out as a revolutionary; in fact, he intended to become a physician (and actually reached this goal before being killed at the age of thirty-nine).

  Many people believe in the “Curse of Che Guevara” because an astonishing number of people who had a hand in Che’s execution have been victims of violent accidents and, often, deaths.

  The restaurant chain Hooters faced a bit of a scandal after launching its “Viva La Hooters” advertising campaign, which featured waitresses in Che Guevara–emblazoned bikinis. Ad executive Thomas Vail snarkily defended the campaign, saying, “We thought it was appropriate. He fought for equality; we’re fighting for good times and delicious wings.”

  Fact. Of course, Che did more with his life than just practice medicine. He became an author, a diplomat, and, most notably, a Marxist revolutionary and guerilla warrior who fomented and/or contributed to armed conflicts in Cuba, Congo, and Bolivia. As a medical student, Che traveled throughout Latin America and the poverty he saw encouraged his radical tendencies.