Blind Faith

by Kimberley Reeves

  “Why don’t you just spit it out, McKinley? You’re obviously leading up to something but I don’t have the time or patience to coax it out of you.”

  McKinley’s reply was waspish. “Maybe I shouldn’t tell you at all if that’s the way you’re going to be about it.”

  “Maybe you shouldn’t,” she shrugged.

  Let her stew on that one for awhile, Serena thought. McKinley didn’t say anything, which was almost as surprising to Serena as her own display of assertiveness. It felt…liberating to say exactly what she was thinking for once instead of biting her tongue. Serena had witnessed the verbal lashings her sister doled out to others and didn’t relish being on the receiving end of those venomous barbs. She’d always avoided any type of confrontation because McKinley could be downright vicious when she was angry, but instinctively she knew it would be a huge mistake to allow McKinley to intimidate her right now.

  She didn’t have to ask herself where this inner strength came from; it had lay dormant in a place in her heart that she’d sealed off from the rest of the world until Will came along and awakened it again. It was because of Will, or rather her faith in Will, that she was empowered with the self-confidence she’d always lacked whenever McKinley was around. It was proof that the depth of her feelings for Will went beyond the old high school crush; it was also a measure of how much she trusted him.

  “I love you, Serena, and I care what happens to you,” McKinley said in a much gentler voice. “You know that, right?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “Good, because it’s important to understand I’m only telling you this because I’m concerned about you.”

  Serena offered no encouragement to continue. Instead, she took a few sips of wine, stalling for time while she tried to figure out what McKinley’s angle was. She knew her sister loved her, in as much as McKinley was capable of loving someone else anyway, but that had nothing to do with why they were here. Serena wasn’t fooled by the change of tactics either; McKinley never did anything for anyone unless it benefited her in some way. The question was; what did McKinley have to gain by trying to convince her not to trust Will?

  “I know this is difficult, Serena, but having Will live with you could trigger memories, and that scares me because I don’t think you’re strong enough to relive it. You were practically catatonic for weeks afterwards, and I don’t think you have considered the possibility you could end up like that again. Everything you’ve worked for would be lost, have you thought about that?”

  “I’m stronger now,” Serena said with a defiant lift of her chin. “I’m not that naïve fifteen year old girl anymore and I can’t avoid everyone from my past just because it could bring back memories.”

  “No, you can’t avoid people from your past, but you don’t need to invite them into your life either. I mean, what do you really know about Will? How do you know he didn’t orchestrate this whole thing or that he might have an ulterior motive for getting…close to you?”

  That struck a nerve because Will had, by his own admission, orchestrated the plan to move in with her. “No,” she murmured, then more firmly, “No, that’s ridiculous. You’re making him sound devious and Will isn’t like that.”

  “Isn’t he?”

  “No, he’s not,” Serena shot back testily. “Will is an honest man and I think it’s horrible that you’re trying to make me suspicious of him. He’s kind and gentle and would never do anything to hurt me.”

  “Honest,” McKinley repeated with a derisive huff. “You think he’s honest just because he told you he was the one who found you and got you to the hospital? Come on, Serena, you can’t be gullible enough to believe that’s all there is to the story.”

  Serena’s reply was curt. “We haven’t really discussed it. I’m sure he will tell me everything when the time is right.”

  “By then it may be too late,” McKinley said with that dramatic flair she was so good at. “Serena, you have to listen to me. I think Will is obsessed with you, and I think it goes all the way back to high school. I’ve thought about it a lot, tried to fit all the pieces together and make sense of them. Everything I’ve come up with makes me suspect Will had more to do with what happened that night than anyone knows.”

  “No,” Serena shook her head, adamantly refusing to believe it. “You’re wrong. You know what I looked like back then; too tall, too thin, no figure…how could someone like Will have even the slightest interest in me?”

  “Don’t ask me,” McKinley said dryly, clearly finding the idea unfathomable. “At any rate, I completely misunderstood his reasons for asking me to take a walk in the woods with him that night. I thought he was interested in me, but after I’d embarrassed myself by kissing him, Will asked about you. It wasn’t until I talked to Mom that I put it all together.”

  Serena’s brows furrowed. “Put what altogether? I wish you would say what you have to say and stop dancing all around it.”

  “All right, all right. I think Will followed you and Randy into the cave and that he knew what was happening. Maybe he thought you were…willing, and he got jealous, or maybe he just panicked and left. That’s why he found me and insisted I take a walk with him; so he would have a witness to prove he wasn’t anywhere near the cave.”

  Acid churned in Serena’s stomach, burning a path up her esophagus and leaving a sickening metallic taste in her mouth. Sounds and smells began to infiltrate her senses; the sharp pop of a can being opened, flirtatious laughter from men and women coming at her from all directions, the bitter stench of beer and the underlying scent of mingling perfumes and colognes. She wanted to scream at McKinley to get her out of there and stop feeding her lies about Will, but she couldn’t seem to make her mouth work. All she could do was sit there in petrified silence while McKinley continued to torture her.

  “Think about it, Serena. How did Will know where to find you? Why would he sneak you away from the party and take you to the hospital himself without even sending someone to find me or Anthony and Sawyer? And he didn’t wait around to be questioned by the police, did you know that? Later, we found out he’d gone after Randy and those other boys. I always believed it was because he wanted to avenge you.”

  McKinley paused, drawing in a deep breath. “But now…I think it was because he wanted to find out if any of them had seen him inside the cave. Had the case gone to trial, it might have come out, but of course we’ll never know the truth now. After what Will did to Randy, Mom and Dad had no choice but to follow their attorney’s advice and let all four boys go with nothing more than a slap on the wrist.”

  Serena sat there, rigid as a board, her mind and body too numbed by what McKinley had told her to respond right away. She wanted to say with certainty that McKinley was wrong, to refute every single word and offer an explanation that would prove Will was being unjustly accused, but she couldn’t. She didn’t know how he knew where to find her or why he hadn’t asked anyone to go get her brothers. And she’d always assumed the case hadn’t gone to trial because she was too frightened to testify. But now McKinley was insinuating she’d never had the choice at all, and that is was Will’s fault.

  Serena’s temples throbbed. It was too much to digest all at one time and she didn’t think she could bear to hear any more. The room was beginning to close in on her and that old familiar feeling of panic rose hard and sharp, mercilessly clawing at her insides until her nerves were raw. She needed to be alone, to get way from McKinley and this foul smelling bar so she could think.

  “I have to go,” she said in a strained voice.

  “But I haven’t finished telling you…”

  “NO! No more, not tonight. I have to get out of here. Now.”

  Serena started to rise from the table, fully prepared to let Rufus lead her out of there if McKinley insisted on finishing the conversation. But in her haste to stand up, her legs pushed against the chair with more force than she intended, propelling it backwards where it collided with a man behind her. She heard the chair topp
le sideways and crash to the floor, followed by a muttered oath. Serena turned towards the man to apologize and was mortified to find herself pressed up against his large frame. Two muscular arms caught her around the waist, pulling her closer and locking her in his embrace.

  “Whoa, pretty lady, where’s the fire?”

  Serena shoved against his chest, nearly choking on her fear. “Let me go,” she squeaked.

  “Sure,” he laughed, “for a small price.”

  A violent tremor rippled through her body when she felt the heat of his breath against her lips, and for a moment she thought she was going to pass out. He smelled of whiskey and cigarettes and something else that was so hauntingly familiar it conjured up memories of another time and place when she’d been too paralyzed with fear to defend herself. A harsh sob tore from her throat as Serena wrenched her head sideways. The sound of her own erratic heartbeat thundered in her ears, drowning out whatever it was the man was saying. Despite the valiant effort she was making to stay conscious, her knees started to buckle.

  Serena’s body went limp and she would have dropped to the floor if the man hadn’t been holding her so tight. Her limbs felt like they were made of lead, and though she was still cognizant of what was going on around her, it seemed to be channeling through her senses in a foggy haze. The sounds were muted, as if they were coming from someplace far away; a solemn country tune about beer and horses, the animated chatter of men and women engaged in conversations, McKinley’s voice raised a few pitches higher than normal, and above it all…a low, menacing growl that meant Rufus had gotten his hackles up.

  “Ah, hell,” the man groaned as he hoisted Serena up into his arms. “She’s stone cold drunk.”

  “She is not drunk,” McKinley hissed. “She passed out because you scared her half to death. I told you not to touch her!”

  “Look, I’m sorry, okay? Just…tell me what I should do with her before her dog decides to take a bite out of my ass.”

  “Follow me to my car. If she comes out of it while you’re still holding her there’s no telling how she will react. Rufus…settle,” McKinley ordered.

  Rufus wasn’t accustomed to taking commands from other people but he was familiar with McKinley, and it was probably that more than the tone of authority that silenced him. Once Rufus no longer presented a threat, the man turned and headed in the direction of the door. Serena told herself there was nothing to worry about, that McKinley was right behind them with Rufus and neither of them would let the man hurt her. She tried to focus on something…anything…other than the slivers of fear that prickled at her skin and put ice in her veins, but it was impossible when the friction of every movement he made raked over nerves that were already frayed.

  “My car is just around the corner,” McKinley said once they were outside.

  A few minutes later, Serena heard the car door open and then she was being lowered down into the seat. Another moment of panic seized her when he leaned over her, but it was only to fasten the seatbelt before shutting the door. Tears of shame squeezed from beneath Serena’s closed eyelids. She was bitterly disappointed in herself for the way she’d reacted to a man who had obviously meant no harm.

  Only a few minutes before, she’d been buoyed by the firm belief she could hold her own against McKinley and whatever stories she fabricated about Will. And she had convinced herself she was capable of blocking the overwhelming fear that always consumed her when she was around men, especially those she didn’t know. Now Serena realized how vulnerable she still was to the phobias her past had instilled in her. Whatever strides she’d made towards conquering her fears had been destroyed by a man who had done nothing more threatening than put his arms around her.

  She was a coward, imprisoned by memories that existed only in the deepest recesses of her mind. Despair swept through her as the hopelessness of her situation began to sink in. How could she rid herself of memories that were buried so deep she couldn’t reach them? Even more disheartening was the knowledge that exhuming them wouldn’t change a thing; not if she lacked the courage to face them once they were unleashed.

  Will. She needed to talk to Will. He would explain away McKinley’s awful accusations and restore her faith in him…and in herself.

  ***

  Will checked his watch again. “Where is she?”

  He’d rushed home from Rose’s so he could be there to greet Serena, arriving with only fifteen minutes to spare. A quick shower ate up the next ten minutes, then he’d hurried downstairs to wait for her. That was over an hour ago. It wasn’t like Serena to be this late without calling to let him know. Logic told him there could be any number of reasons she wasn’t home yet, but that didn’t keep him from pacing in the front hallway while the knots in his stomach cinched tighter with each passing minute.

  He’d worked himself up into quite a fit of anxiety by the time he heard a car pull into the driveway. Will resisted the urge to yank the door open and barrel outside, but when several more minutes ticked by and she still hadn’t some inside, he peeked out the window to see what was keeping her. A few unpleasant thoughts meandered through his mind when he recognized McKinley’s car. And then it hit him; she was the reason Serena had been delayed in getting home. He was out the door and halfway down the steps when McKinley’s door swung open.

  The nervous look McKinley shot him as she climbed out and took a few tentative steps in his direction told Will she had assessed his mood correctly. He was furious with her for conning Serena into going with her and could only imagine what lies she’d been filling Serena’s head with. He had no desire to confront her, at least not with his temper as hot as it was at the moment, and he definitely didn’t want to upset Serena. Will clamped his mouth shut as he headed for the passenger side of the car, determined not to speak to McKinley no matter how much it burned his hide to remain silent. He might have succeeded too, if she hadn’t skirted around the fender and grabbed his arm.

  “Will, wait a minute. There…there’s something I need to tell you. Please,” her voice trembled, “it’s about Serena.”

  Will’s eyes narrowed. “If you said anything to upset her, so help me God, I’ll wring your neck.”

  “No! It wasn’t me, I swear. You see, there was this man and…”

  “What man?”

  “I don’t know who he was, just some man at the bar…”

  “You took Serena to a bar? What the hell were you thinking?”

  Will yanked his arm free and tried to brush past her but McKinley quickly outmaneuvered him, planting herself between him and the passenger side door.

  “Get out of my way,” he gritted.

  “Not until you listen to me. Look, she was a little freaked by what happened, but once we were out of there she calmed down. As a matter of fact, she dozed off on the way here and was still asleep when I pulled up.”

  It irked him that McKinley was deliberately blocking his view of Serena, but she had to be telling the truth because Serena had made no attempt to get out of the car. Still, it was becoming alarmingly clear that something was wrong, and his first impulse was to physically remove McKinley so he could see for himself that Serena was okay. The only thing that kept him from doing it was the frantic look on her face and the obvious desperation in her voice.

  “Will, please…you have to listen to me.”

  Will crossed his arms, not the least bit remorseful when his intimidating stance drained the color from McKinley’s face. “Two minutes,” he growled. “I suggest you talk fast.”

  “I will, I promise, only…” she looked away from his fierce gaze, flicking her tongue over her lips before continuing in a subdued tone. “Just hear me out before you say anything. I hadn’t seen Serena in a while so I took her out for a glass of wine. I know, I know,” she said before he could interrupt, “it was a mistake going to a bar, but she didn’t seem nervous at all so I honestly didn’t think anything of it.”

  Her eyes briefly lifted to his then turned away again, but not before Will caug
ht the shimmer of tears. It was gut wrenching to see a woman cry, and if it had been anyone but McKinley, that innate protective hormone it seemed all men possessed would have kicked in immediately. But this was McKinley, the consummate actress who would say or do anything to get what she wanted. The scowl on his faced deepened. That she would go to such lengths to gain his sympathy only intensified his concern for Serena and his impatience to get to her. McKinley evidently picked up on it because she started talking faster and seemed even more desperate to compact everything she could into the two minutes he’d allotted her.

  “I worry about Serena a lot, and I know you don’t think your presence has a negative impact on her, but I had to make sure for Serena’s sake…and for my own peace of mind. I didn’t realize being in the bar was upsetting her until we got ready to leave,” her voice began to wobble. “When she stood up, some half drunk man stumbled into her. I don’t think he meant any harm but he put his arms around her and tried to kiss her. Serena just came unglued.”

  Will’s temper exploded. “What do you mean she came unglued? And why the hell didn’t you try to stop him?”