by T. K. Chapin
Faith shook her head. “No. But I did speak with him and he wants to have dinner. I told him no.”
“Oh. Why? Because of me? I hope it wasn’t because of me.”
She stared blankly at me for a moment. Then, she carefully continued. “It was because of you. Not because I think we’re together or anything like that, but I do have feelings for you and would like to respect you.”
“Did you pray about it? Maybe he’s looking for closure? I’m assuming if you two were engaged, things didn’t end too well.”
Her lips tightened and she shook her head. “I haven’t prayed about it, but it didn’t end well. It was a bit abrupt.”
“Pray about it, and if it seems okay, go have dinner with the guy. If a single dinner with Victor is enough to smash your feelings for me and make you go back to him, we were never meant to be.”
“Okay, I will pray about it and go the way the Spirit leads. So, you’re okay with it?” She crossed her arms, looking at me as if she was trying to read every movement of my facial features.
I shrugged. “Sure, if you are. Listen, we’re both adults here, and we can make our own choices. I don’t want you telling me what to do in my life, and I’m sure you don’t want me telling you. If you feel inclined and want to get some closure, go get some. It’s your life, Faith.”
She relaxed. “Okay.”
Turning my head, I glanced in at the table in the dining area being readied for us, then I peered back at Faith. “Is there any chance we can skip game night and go somewhere and hang out? I’d really rather get to know you more.”
She touched my jacket on my chest. “No. I think it’s important that I stay. You should stay too. It’ll be fun.”
Recalling our conversation last night in which she had talked me into letting her give me a ride home, I smiled. “You convinced me.”
“You two love birds coming to eat?” Charlie asked, popping his head out from the open doorway.
We headed inside.
Chapter 25 - James
FAITH AND I TOOK OUR seats at the table. Unfolding my napkin, I set it on my lap as Kirk led the prayer.
“Bless the fellowship with fellow believers tonight, and bless the hands who prepared this meal for us. May the food provide us nutrition and strength to carry out Your perfect will in our lives. Amen.”
Halfway through the meal, Kirk paused his eating and turned to Jessica. “This is wonderful. Jess. Get this recipe from Serenah before we leave.”
We all laughed.
“Now, if I only could get that cookie recipe they use at the grocery store to make those cookies.”
Everyone at the table laughed again, and Kirk blushed a little at the comment.
After dinner, Kirk, Charlie, and I all traversed down to the lake to take a look at the loose board that Faith had mentioned at dinner. Kirk held a flashlight pointed at the planks while Charlie and I crawled on our hands and knees, inspecting each plank. A few minutes into our inspection process, Kirk flashed the light on my face. “I saw you with Alex at the police station earlier today.”
Charlie looked at me inquisitively and we both stood up.
“Yeah, I took him down there to clear up a matter with Brody.”
Charlie kept quiet but appeared to be thinking.
Kirk shook his head. “Man, you don’t want to get caught up with that crowd again.”
I had heard that more than enough for one day so I raised a hand in frustration. “I appreciate the concern everyone seems to have for me, but I can handle myself. He’s cleaning up off the drugs and trying to do better in his life. Why can’t you people get that? Why wouldn’t you want to help him too?”
Charlie crossed his arms, his hand coming to his mouth. Still, he wasn’t saying anything.
“What do you want to say to me, Charlie?”
Shaking his head, he let loose his arms, letting each one fall to a side. “We all just care about you, James. We love you and don’t want to see you get—”
“I am not going to get into trouble!”
“I was going to say get hurt.”
“Oh.” It wasn’t what I was expecting him to say, but it didn’t matter. “Don’t you think I can see that? I know he can easily slip right back to where he was the day before. But guess what? I’m no different from him, Charlie. All it takes is one time to mess up, and I’ll be right back where I was years ago. I get that more than you or anyone else will ever understand, but I also understand something else Alex is going through, because I am still going through it - not having people around you who don’t hold the past against you. That’s the type of people that Alex needs, and it’s the type of people I need in my life too.”
Charlie shook his head and closed the distance between us. He looked right into my eyes and didn’t turn to the left or the right as he spoke. “I’m sorry, James. I just care about you and don’t want to see you get hurt by Alex. You’re the exception, not the rule, when it comes to addicts getting clean. Through God almighty, you’ve done it, and I am so proud of you. I really don’t mean to hold the past against you. Tell you what—why don’t you preach this coming Wednesday night?”
Taking a step back, I flashed him a questioning gaze. “What?”
“I want you to preach this coming Wednesday night. Of course, I’d like to look over your notes before you do it, but yes, you should preach.”
“But why? Because I just threw a fit? I don’t need your pity, Charlie. I need your trust.”
“No, it’s not because you just threw a fit. I planned on telling you tonight that I wanted you to preach. I heard from Serenah the solid Biblical insight you gave to Faith the other night at the church, and I think it’s finally time to give you a chance at the pulpit. Your heart is truly in the right place and aligned with God. I never hired an associate pastor to fill that void because I’ve been waiting for you.”
I wasn’t sure how to feel, how to act. Adjusting my footing, I relaxed as I hadn’t seen this opportunity coming at a moment such as this.
Suspicious but willing, I glanced at Kirk and then back at Charlie. “All right. If all of what you’re saying is true, I’ll do it.”
He smiled and patted my shoulder. “You’ll do great.”
Kirk came over and hugged me.
“We both believed in you from the beginning,” Kirk added.
As I fellowshipped with Kirk and Charlie the rest of the time down at the dock, I felt close to them, like they were truly brothers in Christ instead of men who had worked with my father. They made me feel loved and accepted for who I was in Christ, not judged and condemned by what I had done.
Chapter 26 - Faith
ATTEMPTING TO ACT OUT THE word ‘marriage’ for charades later that night, my team members, Jessica and Serenah, were clueless. Finally giving up on my direction, I started marching through the front room, pretending to hold a bouquet of flowers in my hands directly in front of my chest.
“Maid!” Jessica yelled out.
“What?” Serenah asked, confused. “How do you get maid from that?”
She pointed to my hands in front of me. “She’s clearly holding a broom!”
Shaking my head furiously, I pressed my hand against my forehead. Frustration was overtaking me as I saw out of the corner of my eye that the sand in the timer was about out.
“Headache!” Serenah said, bouncing up and down on the couch as she swatted the air around her excitedly.
Laughing, I shook my head.
Turning my head toward James, I had an idea spring to my thoughts. I still had seconds left. I hurried and grabbed his hand, pulling him up in front of everyone. Then I locked arms with him, walking across the carpet. Stopping, I pretended to place a ring on his finger.
“Getting married!” Jessica proclaimed.
“Yay! You got it! It was marriage.”
Charlie said, “That’s game!” and the girls cheered.
“Hey, James,” Charlie said, grabbing his attention. “Why don’t you play the pi
ano for us and we’ll sing before we end the night? Little worship session to wrap up our time together.”
Shaking his head, he looked embarrassed to even be asked. “That’s okay.”
Wanting to hear him play, I walked over to him and placed a hand on his arm. “Can I convince you?”
He smiled.
“Don’t be shy, James.” Kirk clapped and pointed to the piano. “Get over there and show the gal how you can play.”
“Okay, okay.” He got up and crossed the floor to the piano and sat down on the bench. Glancing over at me, he pointed right at me. “But you’re singing.”
“No way.”
“Yes!” Kirk insisted. “I’ve heard from everyone here about this amazing voice. Let’s see it in action.”
Reluctant but somewhat willing, I agreed and joined James on the piano bench. Tilting my head as I turned to him, I asked, “What are we singing?”
“How about Amazing Grace?”
I shook my head. “Let’s do something different. How about It Is Well.”
He started to play It Is Well and I started singing, and shortly thereafter, everyone joined in singing.
After a few songs, we prayed and ended the evening. As everyone migrated into the foyer to grab their coats, James motioned with his eyes to join him as he opened the front door. Slipping out the door with him while Jessica and Kirk were still talking with Charlie and Serenah, we went out to his car.
“Thanks for making me stay. It was fun.”
My heart warmed hearing he had enjoyed it. “Thanks for coming. It’s refreshing to spend time with a man who loves God and has his priorities straight in life. Unsurprisingly, it’s vastly different compared to someone who doesn’t. You don’t go on and on about yourself or only talk about problems. You seem to enjoy life. I love it.”
Taking a step toward me, he grabbed my hands. He peered into my eyes, and I could feel my heart stir as he brought a hand to my cheek.
“You are beautiful, Faith. Inside and out.”
He leaned in. Our lips met, mouths opening for each other willingly and excitedly. My heart raced and radiated sizzles of warmth. I didn’t want the moment to end but to go on forever. Then, the front door of the inn opened, interrupting our passionate kiss, and he pulled back quickly and relaxed onto his heels as his eyebrows went up. He ran his fingers through his hair.
“Wow. I’ve been wondering how it’d feel to kiss you.”
My heart clung to his words. I’d been thinking about it too. I peered into his eyes as the warmth of his affection filled me.
“It was nice.”
“It was. I’ll see you at church tomorrow?”
“Yes.” I smiled. “See you in the morning.”
Watching as he walked the rest of the way to his car, I couldn’t stop smiling. He was so right for me, so perfect.
A hand brushed my shoulder, causing me to turn around.
It was Jessica.
“It was so nice getting to know you tonight.”
“And it was nice getting to know you and Kirk.” I went in for a hug.
“Charlie and Serenah know how to make every visit entertaining. They even arranged for little Miss Emma to have a sleepover at a friend’s house for the night. Know that Kirk and I are praying for you.”
“It’s going to be a fun festival. I’m excited about it.”
She smiled but shook her head. “I meant for you and James. You two are cute together.”
“Oh. Thank you.” I tucked my hair behind my ear, a blush crawling up my neck and into my cheeks.
Kirk came up just then and placed his arm around the small of Jessica’s back. Looking at me, he grinned. “Great job singing tonight. You’ll do amazing at the festival. I know it.”
They left out to their car and I returned inside the inn.
I shut the front door in the foyer and started to make my way over to the stairwell that led down to my room. Serenah caught me before I made it down the stairs.
“Hey, Faith?”
Turning to her, I raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”
“He called.”
“James?” I asked, smiling. “Seems a bit quick.”
“No. Victor.”
“He called again?” My words came out weighted with worry. I thought he had been satisfied by the phone call we’d had.
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry. I tried to tell him to stop it. I’ll try to get him to stop.”
She nodded lightly. “Anyway, have a good night. We’re headed to bed.”
“Same here. Thanks for putting on an awesome night.”
Serenah smiled. “It was nice, and I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. Good night, dear.”
Chapter 27 - James
STANDING WHILE WE SANG IN church the next morning, my heart radiated with thankfulness toward God. With Faith on my left and Alex on my right, we sang the hymn Holy, Holy, Holy and I had abounding joy in my heart. God’s goodness was washing over me continually that morning, and praise was on my lips with each word of the lyrics.
Alex leaned into my ear halfway through the song. “Hey. I’m not feeling good. I think I need to go home and lie down.”
I understood that the medication he was on was probably causing some issues for him. “Okay, man.”
He left out from the seats, but only to return a short while later.
He stood next to me and leaned into my ear again. “Can I drive the car?”
Furrowing my eyebrows, I turned my head to look at him. “Just walk. It’s not that far.”
“Come on. I just told you I don’t feel good. Walking would be horrible. You let me drive it before. What’s the big deal?”
“That’s true. Okay.” Reaching into my pocket, I handed him the keys and he left.
We sat down after the song and Faith leaned into my ear.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah. He’s just not doing well. The first couple of days coming off the drugs can be rough.”
“I bet.”
Pastor Charlie took the pulpit to preach. As he opened his notes, he led us in a prayer.
“God. Please soften our hearts and let Your Spirit teach us Your truth. Help me to get out of the way this morning and let You be here with Your people. Amen.”
Resting a finger on the open pages of the Bible on the pulpit, he read aloud.
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people?
If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10
After he finished reading, he lifted his gaze to all of us, surveying our faces. Then he asked the question. “Are you seeking the approval of people or of God?”
Widening his eyes, he removed his finger from the page of the Bible and walked to the edge of the platform. Each step echoed through the sanctuary, sending the Scripture and question deeper into my core, making me ask it of myself over and over again.
Silence lingered in the sanctuary that Sunday morning for at least a good forty to sixty seconds.
“It’s natural to want human approval,” he finally said. “In fact, we are commanded elsewhere in the Scriptures to seek to be at peace with all men. So what is a man or woman of God to do if they want to live their lives according to God’s Word? This requires us to think deeply. To think intentionally. To think hard.” He walked back over to his pulpit. “I don’t mean to sound offensive when I say this, but the world is full of people, including many Christians, who are not thinking on a very deep level. You see, ladies and gentlemen, critical thinking has left our society!”
He went quiet again, then the only sound in the sanctuary was him flipping his paper over. He continued. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. It’s not really any secret at all, actually. God gets priority in a Biblical Christian’s life. When it comes to ‘man’ or ‘God,’ God wins every time. Luke 10:27 says, ‘He answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your so
ul and with all your strength and with all your mind . . .”’ You see it yet? Truly loving God requires us to put all of us into following Him. Not just a part. But all! Not just on Sunday morning, but all! How do we do it? I’ll tell you how. It’s by doing what the Lord commands us to do.”
He paused, flipping the pages of his Bible. Then he read aloud. “James 1:27 says, ‘Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.’ We cannot be polluted by this world. Romans 12:2 states, ‘Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.’ Again, a mention of not being like the world. Listen.”
He stepped away from the pulpit, and closing his Bible, he held it up above his head. “This is our instruction book for life! This should not just be the book we crack open on Sunday morning or read for a couple of minutes when we’re sad. It’s the cure for our broken world all around us! It’s the healing agent that breathes life into our dry bones. Without . . .” He let his hand down, then walked over and set it down on the pulpit. Turning back to us, he continued. “Without reading our Bible, without renewing our minds, without following His commands . . . it’s impossible to please God. Love isn’t merely a word. It’s an action. It’s an action we have to take every single day of our life. Not because our salvation depends on it, but because when you have the love of God in your soul, you are compelled to do!”
He continued on with his sermon, convicting and laying down truth like he always did when he preached. It made me think a lot about my current situation with Alex. Was he trying to preach to me? It was hard to tell since we had a close working relationship, but the one time in the past I had attempted to accuse him of doing such a thing, he showed me the date on the sermon being from almost two months ago. He explained it takes him two months to prepare for a sermon. After church service let out, the sermon was still lingering on the tip of my mind, making me question what I was doing with Alex.