by Snow, Olivia
“I forgot my towel.” His breath was harsh. All I could do was nod. I was tingling all over, and I felt my blush sweep from my feet to the top of my head. Christian wet his lips before stepping in my direction. “No bullshit?”
I breathed in deeply before answering. “No bullshit.”
“Right now, in our little bubble, I don’t care about any of the shit that went down earlier. Right now, I want to have you. I need to have you.” He pressed his forehead against mine, and I breathed in his scent and went a little crazy. “Are you going to let me?” he whispered.
I whimpered something that sounded like yes. I was lost in him and wasn’t thinking anymore. He dropped to his knees and pressed his nose against the crook of my neck inhaling me. His hands slowly traveled from the back of my calves to my thighs. I moved my head to give him better access to my neck. Christian took the opportunity to press open mouthed kisses on my skin, then traveled down my chest. I reached behind me, unclasping my black bra. He hissed, helping me pull down the straps. Once my skin was exposed, he took my breasts into his hands and kissed my hardened nipples. I gasped at the feel of his warm mouth. He groaned approvingly while rolling my other nipple with his thumb. I threw my head back, eyes rolling behind my head in ecstasy.
“Oh, God,” I murmured.
Suddenly I was off the ground, then my back was pressed against the cool mattress. Christian hovered over me as he looked at my body before lowering his head to kiss me sweetly. I was expecting to be ravished, but his gentle kisses made my heart weak. I tightened my eyes shut, suddenly feeling like I wanted to cry. This was too much. Without me speaking a word, Christian stopped, holding himself up.
“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” he asked, concerned.
Still with my eyes closed, I shook my head. “No, I…I…this is too much. I want you but…” He interrupted me by placing a quick peck on my lips.
“Yeah, I know. I feel it too.”
“You’re okay with this? With stopping?” I asked, puzzled.
“Of course I am. I’m not the kind of man who makes women feel guilty for stopping.” He kissed my forehead and hopped off the bed. And with that, I wanted to pull him back down to my neck and have him continue where we left off. “Imma go take that shower now, ’kay?” he said, showing off his dimples.
I was still a little shaken up, so I just nodded. I stayed on the bed with my arms covering my breasts. Did I really want to take the next step with him even though we weren’t even a couple? The answer was hell yes. I was human, with grounds to make my own mistakes. I might look back in a few months, maybe even a few hours, and be disappointed in myself. But in this very moment, I wanted Christian’s warm body against mine.
Standing, I looked at myself in the mirror. I’d never had a complex with what God gave me, but I would be a fool not to admit since meeting Ava and knowing her history with Christian, I had become a little self-conscious. I scarcely came close to having the curves she did. My hips didn’t round out like hers. My ass was smaller, a lot smaller. There was hardly any junk in my trunk. My breasts barely filled a man’s hands. But my legs and arms were strong with taut muscles. They had to be in order to ride my bike. Being this small and wanting to ride came with a price.
Before I could change my mind, I slipped off my black panties and sauntered toward the bathroom. Before opening the door, I took a deep breath, trying to fill my lungs with a second dose of courage. With shaky hands, I turned the knob and pushed the door open. Steam hit me instantly and I wondered how hot the water was. It stuck to my skin and my hair giving the illusion that I was glowing. Quietly, I closed the door behind me and stopped when I heard soft grunts and water splashing against skin.
Was he…? My eyes widened. For some reason, the image lit a flame in my chest and traveled rapidly between my legs. I pulled the hunter green shower curtain aside just a little, to see Christian’s back and his arm moving in a jerking motion. When I pulled the curtain back some more to give me enough room to step inside, he turned sharply to look at me.
“What are you doing?” His stare was frantic and his voice a constricted whisper. I wasn’t sure if it was purely from shock or from getting caught masturbating. My gaze traveled from his chest to what was standing at attention between his legs. With a sharp tug I closed the curtain and stepped closer, swallowing the knot in the throat and suppressing my drool.
“Say kiss,” I whispered. He hummed before lowering his face to mine, licking the water off his lips.
“Kiss.” Before I could be the one to land my lips on his, Christian gripped the back of my neck and melded our mouths together. This kiss was nothing like we’d done before. He was a little rougher and more anxious. I pressed my body against his, breaking the kiss to gasp when I felt his erection slide perfectly between my thighs. Christian gritted his teeth, groaning.
“Billie, what are you doing?” His breathing was harsh while he tightened his hold against my neck.
“I just want to feel you, but I’m not ready to take it further. Just touching, okay?”
Christian’s eyes hooded into a predator-like stare.
“Fuck, yeah, it’s okay.” He kissed me hard before flipping me against the wall. My palms smacked against the wet brown tile while my chest rose in anticipation. “I’ve been waiting what feels like forever to feel you like this.” He nipped my earlobe before grazing his teeth along my shoulder. His broad hands gripped my hips, and then one slowly traveled up my side. He fanned out his fingers before he squeezed my breast and pinched my nipple. I cried out, forcing my legs to stay awake and not give out.
His other hand cupped me between my legs and he began to work his fingers against my clit. Christian shifted so his knee was right behind me; instinctively, I rested on it, giving me perfect access to his erection. I gripped the smooth skin and continued where he’d left off. He groaned, moving his fingers faster. I was moaning and panting. I hadn’t jerked off a guy since high school, this felt so innocently forbidden. Christian’s teeth clamped down on my neck, and I cried out.
“Oh, fuck, Billie,” he whispered harshly. I felt his dick get harder and I knew he was close, which made me crazy. My moaning increased, and I felt my hips begin to ride his hand. “Yeah, babe, ride it.”
I gripped him tighter, leaning my neck to the side. Christian’s mouth sank back against my skin. I cried out again, coming hard on his hand just as he groaned and pushed against my palm. I felt his hot release on my fingers. Christian removed his knee from beneath me. I stood shakily as he grabbed my hand and washed himself off of me.
“That was…” He rested his head against mine. I closed my eyes to avoid getting water in them.
“Wonderful.”
He chuckled then kissed me. “Fucking great.”
We showered together and spent the rest of the time making out in the shower until the water ran cold. When we were dressed and snuggled on the couch I asked him about my Frog. He reluctantly showed me the video of my bike on its side in flames. I could only watch a few seconds of it before shutting off the phone. My eyes begun to burn with tears. I loved my bike, but I loved that it was my way of escape even more. And they knew that.
“Hey.” Christian lifted my chin. “We’ll get them back, Billie, don’t worry about it. They’ll get theirs.” I jerked away from his grip.
“No, this doesn’t involve you. I can handle them.”
Annoyed, Christian sat away from me. “Like fuck it doesn’t. After everything, you’re still going to try to push me away?”
I sighed. “No, I’m not pushing you away. I…you…you don’t know what they’re capable of doing. You’re going to get hurt.”
Christian stood directly in front of me, angry at my words.
“I’m not some punk, Billie. I’m from the fucking streets too. What? Just because I’m not hustling anymore, you think I’m not capable of taking care of myself? Harden isn’t the only hood in Colorado, sweetheart. And I didn’t have a daddy and two older brothers to take care o
f me. I survived on my own.”
Who the hell…? I pushed off the couch and looked straight in his eyes.
“Screw you, Christian, you don’t know shit about me.”
He smiled cockily. “That right?” He stepped back, giving us some much-needed space. “You got this all twisted in your head. You think I’m soft for leaving all that shit behind. Am I not bad enough for you, Billie?”
His words parted the fogginess in my mind. Did I really think that? How ridiculous was that? I was punishing him for doing the right thing. Or maybe it was jealousy that he could easily leave it all behind him, and I couldn’t. I swallowed hard, feeling like a fool.
“Say kiss,” I whispered, apologizing with my eyes. Christian inhaled sharply, closing his eyes then opening them. The tension in his shoulders seemed to melt away. I moved closer to him and planted my hands on his chest.
“Kiss.”
***
Finally, after so many nights without a full staff, we were all here. And it was a good thing too because yet again the bar was incredibly busy. Jade, Ava, and Christian were behind the bar as Claudia and I waitressed. Given the crazy day from earlier this morning, I was feeling good. The tips were great. I had developed a rapport with some of the regulars, even memorizing their names.
One in particular was named Diesel, a traveling construction worker. He always came in after a shift with his buddies. He spoke a lot with Ava and a lot more when her cousin Vanessa came in. I was clearing a table when I felt the texture of rough jeans skim my legs. I twisted around to see Diesel, and his friend who’d walked close enough to me that I felt his work pants on my skin. Trey was Diesel’s partner in the project they were on.
“Hey, sexy,” Trey drawled. I smiled back.
“Hey, boys, how was work?”
They both shrugged.
“Ava at the bar?” Diesel asked, and I nodded. “Thanks, darling.’” He turned to leave, but Trey stayed.
“So?” He rested against the table. Slanting my head to the side, I glanced up to meet his blue eyes.
“So?” I repeated.
“Do you want to grab something to eat sometime?”
I stared at my shoes, feeling my eyebrows pinch. Chris and I weren’t a couple, but accepting a date from another guy would still be wrong. Before I could answer, I felt an arm snake around my waist. I didn’t even bother looking up to see who it was. His magnetism pulled at me whenever he was touching me.
“What’s up, Trey? Ava’s got a cold one ready for you, bud.” Christian spoke in a friendly, welcoming tone, but it was pretty clear by his body language what he was trying to do. Trey looked back and forth between us, then at Christian’s arm around my waist.
“Uh, cool, okay. Thanks man.” Trey smiled with thin lips before he walked forward toward the bar.
“Turd,” I mumbled pinching his stomach. Christian lowered his mouth against my head and chuckled lowly.
“I can still feel you against me. I want some more when we get home, but this time I’m going to taste you.”
I trembled, feeling my nipples harden. “Promise?” I replied, grinning.
He groaned approvingly before swatting my behind, then retreated back to work. We were all kept busy, but managed to make it a good night. I only had the urge to stab Claudia once, after watching her flirt with Christian. I tried my best to ignore what they were doing and just focused on my work. Before last call, the bar had almost emptied out. Soon, everyone was gone. We were all making good time cleaning up and cashing out when Lincoln strolled inside. I was counting my tips when I heard Jade gasp next to me. Lincoln crossed the dining room and pulled up a bar stool to sit next to me.
“What are you doing here?” I stepped off the chair, afraid of what he might do. Linc saw my expression and looked at me like he was hurt from my reaction. Then, he glanced behind me and stood with his hands up.
“Listen, I’m not here to cause any problems. I just want to talk to Billie,” he said. I knew he was talking to Christian because soon I felt his hand on my hip.
“Nah, man, that isn’t happening.”
Lincoln seemed unable to believe a man in my life was standing up for me. My previous choices in men hadn’t been very good, after all.
“Linc, just say what you have to say in front of Christian. He’s already involved in this mess.”
Lincoln breathed in, then nodded. “All right, but can we go somewhere where there isn’t an audience?” I turned to see Jade, Claudia, and Jaime all staring at us. Ava was cleaning up in the kitchen.
“Yeah, let’s go into my office.” Christian directed his attention to the others. “Guys, when you finish what you’re doing, go ahead and head home. You don’t need to wait for us. Thanks for all your hard work tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He smiled, especially at the girls, then said something to Jaime in Spanish. Jaime nodded in return. I looked at Jade, who mouthed if I was okay. I nodded, giving her a reassuring smile.
Inside Christian’s office, he closed the door and sat on his chair, pulling me to his lap. Lincoln sat on the opposite chair, shifting uncomfortably.
“Spill, Linc,” I said.
“All right, that thing that went down today…It wasn’t Dad, or at least I don’t think so. It’s Connor. He’s gotten Da all fucked up in the head. Something big is going on. I don’t know what yet, but it has Don losing sleep. So much so that he’s made Connor his second.”
Lincoln lowered his head. This was a big deal and I felt a little bad for him. “They don’t know I’m here, Bil. You know what could happen if I go against them. You’re Don’s favorite. That’s why nothing happened to you when you left, but Donnie and I…we’re different.” He sighed, then looked up at me, distressed. “Connor, Donnie and I have some business to take care of in Boston. We’ll be gone for two weeks or so. I’ll try to find out more about what’s going on.” He stood, looking at me apologetically. “I didn’t know, Bil. I didn’t know they did that to your bike. Worst thing is, I don’t know why they did it.”
I nodded, and then sighed. “What about Christian’s windows?”
Lincoln tried not to smirk, but failed. “Yeah, that was for disrespecting Donnie.” He looked at Christian. “Politics, you understand.” Chris grunted.
“Sure, man.”
I stood to hug my brother, surprising him and myself. He was risking a lot by coming here, so the least I could do was hug him. He didn’t hug me back, but I understood our family wasn’t big on showing love. I followed him to the door, then closed it behind him.
“You trust him?” Christian asked, rising from the office chair.
“Yeah, actually, I do.”
He kissed my cheeks before looking into my eyes. “You look like you can use some more bad news.” I frowned. Jesus, what else could happen in one day?
“What?” I asked. Christian pressed me against the door before pulling out his phone. He typed something then put it back in his pocket. Within seconds my phone vibrated in my apron. I pulled it out, looking at the notification of a text from him. My nose wrinkled in amusement as I read the message.
Will you PLZ be my girlfriend?
“Are you the type to even want to be in a relationship?” I asked.
“With you I would be,” Christian answered softly, but the words felt like they were coming at me like a speeding truck straight to my chest. Puzzled, I moved away from him.
“With me?”
Christian bent his knees to be at eye level with me. “Yes, chiquita, with you. I want to be in a relationship with you.” The blood pumping through my heart had turned into a river of hot lead overflowing as it sped faster. With every vessel pumping, my lungs seemed to be losing air as the seconds passed. “Billie?” He spoke tenderly when he held my face in his hands. “I know who you are, what you’re about. I’m not asking to save you. I’m no one’s knight in shining armor, but I’m a damn good cuddle buddy and I make one helluva peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” His words calmed me. H
e didn’t want anything serious. It hurt a little, but at the same time I wasn’t looking for serious either. However, I also didn’t want something without meaning.
“So you’re saying we’d be in a relationship with no prospects of getting serious in the future? But we’d be exclusive.”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. Let’s just see where this goes. No expectations.”
This could make me the stupidest girl in the world, purposely putting myself into a situation where I’d be tempted by his tanned muscular flesh and not having anything serious with him, but I was tired of being afraid I’d get screwed over again by a man. I wanted someone. It was almost comforting to know this would run its course, although in the pit of my stomach I couldn’t help but feel when it ended, it would end in fire. It would end by destroying everything inside of me. I leaned up to kiss him, then quickly typed a reply.
Yes.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Christian
I didn’t go through with my promise of tasting her because by the time we reached my apartment we both crashed. Emotionally and physically drained, we didn’t even bother to change out of our work clothes. Yesterday was one of the most bizarre days I’ve ever had. My emotions ranged from one end of the spectrum to the other. But I’d do it all over again if it meant having Billie pressed up against me.
Throughout the night, I had startled awake to make sure she was next to me. Every time I woke, she was in a different position. First snuggled beside me like we had fallen asleep, then her leg and arms were draped over me, and finally I woke up to have her spread out on top of me. It looked like I had a human starfish glued to my chest. With the certainty in knowing she couldn’t tell I was staring at her, I watched the way her eyelids fluttered in her deep sleep. My gaze traveled slowly down to her lips where they curled up ever so slightly into a smile. She was happy, and whatever she was dreaming was making her smile. I couldn’t help but wish she was dreaming about me. With that hope in mind, I fell asleep soon after.