The Trickster Makes A Match (NFU)

by Bria Quinlan

  And, privacy. I was liking it.

  While Tim put away the many, many packages of diapers he bought, I found Gus’s bath things and started to fill his tiny baby bath in the bathroom tub. It was the perfect night to let him splash around and play with his new rubber ducky.

  His one new rubber ducky, since Tim had demanded the others go back while he gave the baby the side-eye. I chatted with Gus, and he gurgled his adoration back to me. At the same time, I couldn’t help but listen to Tim finish his tasks and head downstairs.

  I wasn’t afraid to admit I was a little disappointed he was already heading off on his own. I shouldn’t have been. His job wasn’t to entertain me. But, part of me had hoped he’d hang out and give us a chance to get to know one another better.

  “And so”—I finished the story I was telling Gus about the billy goats and the troll—“he fell right off the bridge, and the billy goats were safe to go home whenever they wanted.”

  Gus and I clapped our hands together to celebrate the end of the story and that billy goats everywhere were safe for another night. I lifted him out of the bath, letting him soak me with his splashes as I wrapped him in a huge super-soft towel. And, because I could and he was adorable, I gave him a little zurbert on his tummy. Gus patted my cheek as if I were the adorable one.

  I was falling fast for this kid.

  “That was one of my favorites when I was young.”

  I turned to find Tim leaning against the doorframe, watching me and Gus finish his bath. My heart skipped a quick beat at the sweetness of his smile and the closeness of his person. I loved that he was there. That this was all so normal. I gave myself a shake, shutting down my imagination pronto.

  He shrugged and went on. “It was just potentially gruesome enough to enthrall me.”

  “Such a boy.” I shook my head at him as I swung Gus around to bring him to his room for bedtime prep.

  Tim just gave me a smile and shook his head as if to say, Of course, I’m a boy. I couldn’t help but noticing that myself and felt a blush right up my cheeks.

  He gave me just enough room for Gus and me to pass, brushing the tuft of hair on the top of Gus's head off to the side as we squeezed by.

  When I stepped into the nursery, there were two plates set out with slices of home-baked pizza and glasses of sweet tea. On top of a small children’s table. I grinned at the idea of Tim sitting at one of those tiny little chairs to have dinner.

  “I thought we could eat together up here while we settled Gus in for his first night with the new nanny.” Tim looked to Gus, as if making sure this was okay with the baby, then added almost apologetically, “He’s had a lot of change lately.”

  I couldn’t get over how different this was from most of my other jobs. Not only was the boss bringing me dinner, but he actually cared about how Gus adjusted to a new person. The parents I was used to figured one nanny could hand the kids off to the next...if they stuck around that long.

  “I think that’s a great idea.” I couldn’t help but give him my best smile. And then I felt myself blushing again.

  I had to watch out. I was afraid my little crush on the boss was going to become way too obvious. Day one: How to make a fool of yourself?

  Fall for the boss seemed right up there with wear your skirt inside out and tucked into your panties.

  “How did your first day go?” Tim gave me a smile as he bit into his pepperoni slice.

  “You were there for the whole thing.” I wasn't really sure what to say beyond that. “How do you think it went?”

  “Well, you didn’t set anything on fire or misplace the baby, so I’d say you’re doing pretty okay.” He held up his glass in a mock toast to me. “What do you think, Gus? Should we keep her?”

  I glanced over to the swing where Gus sat watching the two of us around the ducky he gummed with an intensity people always mistook in babies for actually paying attention. But, when he had our attention, he clapped his hands as if in agreement.

  “See? There you go.” Tim gave a decisive nod of his head, as if that settled it. They were keeping me. “I thought I’d head into the office tomorrow and clear up a bunch of things that were pending before this surprise life detour happened.”

  Tim looked at me as if I might panic.

  “That sounds like a great idea. Gus and I will be just fine.” I reached out and patted Tim’s hand where it rested next to his plate.

  New parents were always the most worried, and even though Gus wasn’t a newborn, Tim was brand-new to the gig.

  “This is why you hired me.” I gave him my patented I’m the Nanny You Want smile. “Trust me, we’ll be just fine.”

  “Okay, then.” Tim stood and collected the plates, glancing around to make sure everything was in its place. I liked that about him; the orderliness of his life was settling. “I guess I’ll leave you to get ready for bed, then.”

  Since Gus seemed as interested in the new nanny in his environment as I did the new environment, I carted him around while I washed my face and changed my clothes, chatting with him the whole time. He was definitely a baby who liked to hear the sound of someone's voice. No quiet for this little guy. When I was all set, I grabbed my Kindle off its charger and was ready to read my new Kristen Painter book for the evening. I brought Gus into his room to put him down for the night.

  Only, I was in for a bigger surprise than I expected.

  “Tim?”

  “Oh, hey. Just getting ready for bed.” Tim stood in the middle of the room wearing a pair of striped pajama bottoms and a white T-shirt, showing me more than I’d gotten to see earlier. I probably would’ve enjoyed this slightly disheveled nerdy guy getting ready for bed thing more fully if he wasn’t getting ready for bed on the floor of the nursery.

  “Tim, were you planning on sleeping on the floor in here?” I tried to keep the shock out of my voice—just a normal question. Asked in a normal way. To a normal guy.

  Doing something utterly, adorably absurd.

  “Well, yeah.” He unfolded a blanket and laid it out on the floor, lining it up with his pillow.

  I wasn’t really sure how to address this type of separation anxiety. I mean, I was used to the occasional parents being a little nervous the first day they drove away and left the new nanny alone with the kids. But this seemed a wee bit extreme.

  “Have you been sleeping in here every night?”

  “Yeah. Of course.” Tim took Gus from me and settled him in the crib, walking through all the motions like a pro. I was surprised to see how comfortable he was with the task. The two of them seemed to have a ritual down that worked and they were both comfortable with. I watched, only slightly amused at the idea that Tim’s ritual ended with him sleeping on the floor.

  “Did you know they have YouTube videos to teach you how to put kids to bed correctly?” He seemed completely amazed by this. As if the height of civilization was reached because YouTube taught him how to tuck his nephew in.

  “Now I do.” I came into the room, way too aware that I was in my pajamas and light robe… And braless. But I had to figure out what was going on. “Did the YouTube video tell you to sleep on the floor?”

  If so, I foresaw me tracking down YouTubers to make some very angry comments.

  “Oh, no.” Tim looked confused about whether he could let himself settle into his comfy nest or not, so I sat down at one of the little chairs at the table again. This seemed to give him the signal it was okay, and he plopped down next to the crib. “But see, he escapes. Every night.”

  “Gus?”

  “Yeah. Gus.” Tim said it as if I were the one that wasn't making any sense, not the grown man who was sleeping on the nursery floor every night. “Every night he gets out. And the only way to keep him safe is to sleep in here with him. I also think he started singing in his sleep.”

  I glanced at the baby. He didn’t even know how to speak yet.

  “So, Tim.” I slid down and sat on the floor next to him to try and get on his level, reminding my
self that new parents worry. “You're probably exhausted. I mean, not just from sleeping on the floor.” I continued before he could interrupt. “You’ve got a lot of changes going on, and there’s a lot of new worries with a baby in the house, but you don’t have to sleep on the floor. Gus is not getting out of the crib.”

  “Oh, yes he is.” Tim said it with such surety that it was more of a statement than a disagreement.

  He was sure that baby was getting out of the crib.

  I was sure that if the baby wasn’t in the crib, Tim hadn’t put him there.

  But, you couldn’t tell overprotective parents anything. Time to throw down with some logic.

  “Okay, so how about we have an experiment?” I asked, knowing that a guy as addicted to logic as Tim would be intrigued.

  “What kind of experiment?” He glanced at Gus, obviously not willing to put what he saw as the boy’s safety at risk.

  Which, really? Was that not sigh worthy?

  “We’ll put Gus to bed. Then you’ll go to bed—in your room. I’ll go to bed in my room. And, we’ll both have baby monitors. If Gus gets out, we’ll know for sure it’s not new parent exhaustion—which is incredibly common.” I patted Tim’s hand again, trying to reassure him that I wasn’t judging. That this was normal. “I’m betting all of us will still be tucked in come morning.”

  He gave a look at the crib, obviously worrying the plan would put Gus at risk. If it wasn’t so incredibly sweet, it would seem crazier. But, I’d seen new parents do things that seemed completely insane to rested, less stressed, not-caring-for-small-humans people.

  “What if he gets out?” he asked.

  “I’m a really light sleeper. You can’t have my job and not be. If he even wakes up and starts chatting to himself, I’ll know.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I’ve been doing this for six years. The one thing I know is what wakes me up.” I stood, offering my hand to pull him up. “He’ll be fine. You’ll see.”

  I scooted Tim off to his room, baby monitor wrapped tightly in hand, and headed to bed…hoping we’d all get some rest.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  MINX

  The American Toy Hall of Fame has only 62 members. The rubber ducky became one in 2013.

  The next morning, Tim peeked in as he was leaving for work and I was getting Gus—and ducky—out of the crib, where he’d stayed all night. Of course, I’d taken ducky away because he was too hard to spend the night with Gus. I didn’t want any accidents. But there he was.

  I needed to tell Tim about keeping only soft toys in there at night, for safety’s sake.

  I pulled out a couple cute outfits, trying to pick just the right one.

  “Blue with a green frog or green with a yellow dump truck?”

  Gus looked them both over before gurgling at me.

  “I agree. Dump truck set it is.”

  I got him dressed and set him back down in the crib to finish getting myself ready. I put on my yellow T-shirt, amusing myself that it would go with the dump truck on his green one.

  Only, when I got back, he was in the little blue outfit.

  I glanced around, thinking I must have put the green one away instead of on him. Weird. I’d never done anything like that before. But, I’d been awake all night, worrying about Tim worrying about Gus. I figured I’d be woken up by the uncle sneaking in to check on him, and I didn’t want to sleep through it.

  The last thing I needed was Tim thinking I slept through an attempted kidnapping.

  But, all had been well.

  Apparently, someone needed a nap…and I wasn’t talking about the kid.

  When we were all set, I double-checked the stroller, knowing we were heading into unfamiliar territory.

  Diapers, snacks, sunblock, a hat, a blanket, the rubber ducky—which was apparently the new go-to toy even on dry land—and we were ready to hit the road.

  “Okay, Gus! We’re going to town!” I locked the door behind me and pointed the stroller down the manicured walkway to the sidewalk. “This is going to be super fun. We’re going to see a whole bunch of cool stuff.”

  Gus clapped his hands, obviously onboard with my excitement.

  “Your Hottie Uncle Tim is at work doing smart guy stuff,” I added as I turned us toward Longboat Lane. “Let’s just agree not to tell him I call him that, okay?”

  I waited for Gus’s giggled agreement and went on, chatting about everything we walked by, where we were going, the flowers we passed, the dogs that barked. Basically, if we saw it, I chatted about it, and Gus bubbled up cheerful-sounding responses.

  The walk to town was about fifteen minutes, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

  It was quiet and peaceful. There was no need to worry about paparazzi or the FBI or any of the other nonsense that had become part of my daily life on the jobs I usually took.

  The closer we got to town, the more unique everything became. The colors went from normal to orange and black, then purples and pinks started to show up. The vibrancy was in sharp contrast to the cozy, small-town feel, but it totally worked.

  We stopped for a bit in the center where a gargoyle statue protected a giant fountain and overlooked most of the downtown from his perch.

  I sat on the edge, chatting with Gus and watching the world go by when he squeaked and pointed, clapping to get my attention. When I glanced behind me, his rubber ducky was floating around in the center of the fountain, making its way in a big circle.

  “Gus! How did he get in there?” I jumped up, trying to figure out how I was going to get the favorite toy back. “Good call on the floating thing, buddy, but I don’t know how we’re going to get him to come home now.”

  I reached out, seeing how close I could get to snagging it.

  “Come on, ducky. This way.” I swear, as soon as I said the words, the darned duck turned its back on me and floated in the opposite direction. I almost expected to see him grow rubber legs and start paddling.

  I glanced around, looking for a way to get the duck back. This had to be the cleanest town I’d ever seen. There wasn’t even a tree branch available for the rescue mission. Beside me, Gus watched the duck with rapt adoration. Every time I thought the floating yellow mocker would get close enough to snag, it veered away.

  “Darn it, duck.” I reached out again, just barely missing as it practically teased me, floating almost within reach and then back out again.

  Gus laughed and clapped more. This was a joy for him. Maybe we could just hang out and watch the duck all day. But, after about fifteen minutes, I’d had enough—and I needed caffeine and food. After another attempt at getting the duck with just my arms and wits—I did what any desperate woman would do.

  “Okay, Gus, let’s not make a habit of this,” I told him as I slipped out of my flip-flops. “I’m pretty sure this could get me arrested or something.”

  Wouldn’t that be a beautiful irony? Getting arrested for rescuing my charge’s rubber ducky from a fountain after some of the stuff I’d seen over the last several years. I can just imagine the call to my boss. No, Tricia, it wasn’t the drugs or potential abuse I witnessed that brought me down. It was a rubber ducky.

  I dipped one foot into the water, not happy about the chill that rushed up my leg. “Kiddo, you’re going to owe me big-time for this.”

  Gus giggled, and I heard a deep grumbling sound that sounded like laughter behind me. Glancing around, I figured it must be summer thunder.

  Not what I needed.

  I waded, the water coming up to my knees, toward the place where the water swirled in a bit of a centralized circle, and glared at the duck as it veered away again.

  “Okay, duck. If you’re not in my hand in the next ten seconds, you have a new home,” I threatened.

  As if by magic, the duck turned again and floated right to me, bumping against my knees and then just sitting there.

  “That’s more like it.” I scooped him up and worked my way back to the edge, climbing out and putting my flip-flo
ps back on.

  I dried the duck off and put it in the cup holder of the stroller.

  Gus obviously didn’t like that, kicking his legs and making an unhappy sound to prove it.

  “You can have this again when we’re settled at the café, because I’m not risking another body of water coming along.”

  We walked along, heading back to the café I’d stopped in yesterday when I’d arrived. I couldn’t help glancing in all the little shops and enjoying the clever plays on names.

  I was definitely getting used to—or at least becoming immune to—all the Halloweening going on.

  When the town was this cute and this cleverly done, it was fairly easy. We passed shops with names like Boo Wear and a law office called Devil’s Advocate.

  Each one was giggle worthy. I made up stories for Gus as we went about the secrets happening behind the doors of The Cat’s Tale bookstore and Howlers—a biker bar Gus seemed particularly interested in.

  But, peace reigned again when I spotted The Hallowed Bean, the café I’d been to the first day. Caffeine made the day go by in the right direction.

  The menu for the day had seventeen different pumpkin spice drinks. At this point, I wasn’t even surprised.

  I ordered a Caffeine Guillotine and Egg and Cheese Screamwich to eat. I glanced around at the adorable café, knowing I’d be spending more time here if all the beverages were anywhere near as good as the décor.

  Luckily for us, there was a small table for two shoved into a corner by a window that fit the stroller out of the way comfortably.

  I took out the jar of the small starter food I’d grabbed from the fridge for Gus this morning, with a note that I was going to check on blending some things myself. There was no sense in feeding Gus this pre-made stuff with the time available to blend it myself. Especially now that his uncle had become a germ-obsessed parent.

  “What do you think, Gus? Bananas? Peas? Do you have a favorite?” He just nodded along, either in agreement or humoring me. We’d find out the first time I tried to feed him something he didn’t care for.

  “I’ve been doing more blending lately,” a voice said, coming from my right. “She’s loved the blend of banana strawberry.”