Learning Curve

by Rachel Spangler

  “What is it?” Allison asked.

  Ash thought quickly. “I was just breathing you in.”

  Allison had a beautiful smile but Ash couldn’t stop comparing it to Carrie’s. She closed her eyes and inched her way down, parting Allison’s legs and going though the motions. The nibbling, the teasing. Gradually she worked herself back into the rhythm of their bodies. Tension built and she allowed herself to get carried away. She couldn’t help but smile at her own abilities as she granted the requests for sweet release and felt the shudder of profound pleasure sweep through the body she was holding.

  “Wow,” Allison exhaled. “You’re good.”

  “Thanks, you’re not bad yourself.”

  “Oh, how can I ever repay you?” the blonde teased.

  “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

  In a heartbeat she was being straddled and any remaining articles of clothing were removed. Two hands and one eager mouth ran seductively over her body. Allison covered her in slow kisses, taking her all in from her earlobes to her fingertips. She certainly had a well-developed sense of timing. She pushed Ash onto her back, stroked her to the edge of orgasm, then withdrew at exactly the right time to keep her from letting go. Ash got a taste of her own medicine as her body cried out each time Allison’s expert fingers left her at the last minute. Her pride kept her from begging for only so long, and as she neared orgasm once again she heard herself call out, “That’s enough!”

  Allison got the message loud and clear, but as she plunged forward, Ash heard Carrie’s voice, and while her body went crashing over the edge her mind flashed back to Carrie sitting at the table so close their shoulders brushed up against each other. Carrie smiling, Carrie responding, Carrie snapping, “That’s enough!” bringing her and Tess’s argument to a close.

  Disconcerted, Ash rolled onto her side. She could feel the woman next to her but she couldn’t look at her yet. As their breathing slowed, she opened her eyes. Allison was illumined by the mixture of moonlight and streetlamp that shone through the window of the hotel room. Ash thought that if they’d met under different circumstances, she would have seen her again. She might have even made a weekend out of it, but now she knew it was time to go.

  “It’s okay,” Allison whispered. “You can go whenever you want.”

  “No, I don’t need…how did you know?” Ash asked.

  “You and I are cut from the same cloth. I don’t care for sleepovers much, either.” Allison got out of bed and wrapped herself in the hotel bathrobe.

  Ash sat up, grabbing her jeans from the foot of the bed and looking around the luxurious hotel room for the first time. “That’s refreshing.” She laughed nervously. “Will I see you around?”

  “No, I’m just here on business.”

  Ash scanned the room for her jacket, unsure how to handle the frankness about their intentions with each other. In the past the agreement had always been unspoken at best. “Well, thank you for tonight.”

  “Oh, no, thank you.” Allison lifted Ash’s jacket from the back of the chair, took a business card from the nightstand, and tucked it into one of the pockets. “If you ever make it to Milwaukee, give me a call.” She tossed the jacket to Ash.

  Ash slipped it on and met Allison in the middle of the room, pulling her close for one more deep kiss before heading toward the door.

  As she turned the handle, Allison said, “Whoever she is, she’s a lucky woman.”

  Ash didn’t ask who she was talking about. She was afraid that she already knew the answer.

  *

  Ash settled into the driver’s seat of her Mustang. The clock on the dashboard showed it was four thirty a.m. There was no use trying to sleep now. She revved the engine and tore out of the parking lot. The evening had turned chilly, but she rolled the window down, hoping the fresh air would clear her mind. She had just enough time to stop by an all-night grocery store before heading over to the quiet neighborhood where Mary and Sharon lived.

  The sun wouldn’t rise for another hour, but Ash could see streaks of pink creeping slowly across the horizon as she idled in the driveway. Ash knew her best friend would be up at five a.m. even though it was a Sunday and she wouldn’t have to be at church for another four hours. Mary’s schedule was as predictable as her personality. Right on time, the light flicked on and she pushed past the screen door onto the porch of the picture-perfect starter home.

  As Ash bounded up the steps to greet her, Mary quipped, “Thou art up-roused by some distemperature; Or if not so, then here I hit it right, Our Romeo hath not been in bed to-night.”

  “Fair Juliet, I come bearing doughnuts.” Ash gave her best Shakespearean bow.

  “How could a lady refuse an offer like that?” Mary plopped down on the porch swing and motioned for Ash to join her. “Didn’t things work out with Blondie?”

  “Oh, things worked out quite nicely, thank you very much.” Ash took a bite of a glazed doughnut and licked the excess sugar icing off her fingers.

  “Then what’s wrong?”

  “Does something have to be wrong for me to come visit my best friend?”

  “At five in the morning when we only saw each other a few hours ago? Yes.”

  “I see how you are.”

  “Yeah, and?”

  “I think I want my doughnut back.” Ash reached for the doughnut in Mary’s hand, but Mary laughingly pushed her away.

  “You’re stalling.”

  “Well, Dr. Freud, I keep having these dreams—”

  “Fine.” Mary threw up her hands in frustration. “Don’t tell me.”

  A few minutes passed in silence as they rocked the porch swing back and forth, soaking in the crisp morning air. Ash examined the contrast of her boots on the chipped paint and aging wood of the porch. The pristine white was beginning to peel off, revealing a lower level of gray. She released a heavy sigh. “Your porch needs painting. I could do it next week before it gets too cold.”

  “You’re here to discuss home renovation projects?”

  Ash hesitated. “No, I was thinking about something you said earlier. Why wouldn’t Carrie go for me?”

  Mary gave her an odd look. “Carrie?”

  “It’s no big deal. I was just wondering.”

  “I told you, you’re just not her type,” Mary said softly, as if trying to let her down gently. “You have different goals out of a relationship. She’s always looking at the big picture, in every part of her life, and—”

  “And I’m just looking for the next lay? Is that it?”

  Mary seemed taken aback. “Ashton, why are you so upset about this?”

  Ash stood up. She wasn’t ready to face the answer to that question. Doing so would force her to delve into feelings she couldn’t explain. “It’s not important. I think I might just be really tired. I’m going to go get some sleep.”

  Mary stood up next to her. “I’m worried about you. It’s not like you to show up at all hours of the morning mumbling about some woman you just met.”

  “I’m fine. I’ll see you at the cookout?”

  “Promise?”

  Ash kissed her cheek. “I promise.” She stopped briefly in the driveway before getting back into the car. Mary was still standing on the porch watching her go. Ash called, “Hey, who’s Judith Butler?”

  Mary gave her a questioning look. “She’s a feminist scholar. I think she has a new book out. Why?”

  “No reason. I’ll see you later, okay?”

  “I’ll be here.”

  Drowsiness set in as soon as Ash got in the car. She was too exhausted emotionally and physically to dwell on things any more for now. After she got some sleep, maybe she would be thinking clearly again.

  Chapter Five

  Ash glanced at her reflection in the glass panes of Mary’s front door. She was wearing a nicer pair of jeans and a button-down blue shirt. Her appearance wasn’t formal by anyone’s standards, but it was as close as she ever came to Sunday best. The five hours of sleep she’d had
were enough to force her body back on track. Now if only her mind would do the same. She wasn’t afraid to admit that Carrie had gotten her attention. What beautiful woman didn’t? What bothered her was that this one was still on her mind. No woman had ever been worth the time and effort of thinking about after they’d parted ways, and certainly no one warranted a second meeting if the first didn’t work out. What was so special about Carrie Fletcher? Ash couldn’t believe she was willing to endure another youth center function just to see her. Whatever it was, Ash intended to find out.

  “Hello,” she called as she stepped inside Mary’s house.

  A chorus of greetings arose from the living room.

  Mary gave her a hug and took her coat. “Are you feeling better?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” Ash followed her toward the other guests.

  “I tried to call you when we got home from church this morning, but your phone was off the hook.”

  “Sorry, I needed to sleep.”

  “What’s the matter?” Michael asked, butting into their conversation. “You’re not sick, are you?”

  “No, I was just getting some rest.”

  “What she means is she had a busy night, much too busy for sleep, I’m sure.” Tess got in her first dig.

  “And we’re off.” Ash tried to laugh. “Not even a hello before you start in on me, Tess?”

  “Hello. Did you miss me?” Tess’s coy smile suggested that despite last night’s dismissal she was ready to try again.

  “For God’s sake, let the woman get through the door before you start hammering her with the twenty questions,” Sharon bellowed. She was a voluptuous woman with a warm smile and hearty laugh. Slapping Ash on the back, she said, “Grab a beer and come help me with the grill.”

  Thankful for the rescue, Ash shook her hand and made a beeline for the refrigerator. As she rounded the corner to the kitchen, she was confronted with the image of Carrie standing at the sink, talking to Annie, who was perched on the counter. Ash stopped dead in her tracks and watched Carrie nod at the mumbled ramblings of the child. She bit her nail, looking increasingly nervous as Annie repeated herself with more force.

  “I’m sorry, I just don’t know what you want.”

  “Hey hey mil peas,” Annie said, waving her tiny hand.

  Carrie continued to chew on her fingernail, and Ash smiled at how cute she was when she wasn’t playing the poised professor. She had the sudden urge to draw her into her arms and hold her close. Instead, she opened the fridge door and extracted one of the sippy-cups stored inside. “One hey hey mil coming right up. That’s a chocolate milk, for those of you who don’t speak toddler.”

  Carrie released a relieved sigh. “You understand her. I’m impressed.”

  “We’re good buddies.” Ash reached over to tickle Annie for emphasis.

  The toddler giggled and pushed her hand away.

  Carrie smiled. “She really likes you.”

  “She’s easy to impress. All you need to win her over is a few cookies.” To make her point she passed a cookie to Carrie, who bestowed it on Annie with delight.

  “Great, now there’s two of you spoiling her.” Mary entered the room, lifted Annie into her arms, and departed with a pointed look at each of them.

  Carrie clutched Ash’s arm as they both burst out laughing. “You got me in trouble.”

  “Ah, Mary will get over it, but now Annie will love you forever.” Ash loved to hear Carrie laugh, and the feel of her hand was almost enough to make her melt.

  “I thought you said you weren’t comfortable with kids.”

  “No, I said I wasn’t good with teenagers. Kids are easy. Kids I like.”

  “Do you want to have any of your own?”

  Ash stared down at the hand still resting unnervingly on her bicep. Without thinking, she blurted, “God, who in their right mind would ever have a kid with me?”

  Carrie seemed taken aback by the flippant tone of her statement and immediately broke the contact between them.

  Ash was startled to feel incredibly empty from the withdrawal. Scrambling to regain the connection, she said, “I mean, I guess I’ve never really thought about having kids before. What about you?”

  “I don’t know.” Carrie sounded interested and Ash could tell she’d relaxed again. “I like the idea of helping to shape the next generation, making it better than the one that came before. That probably sounds silly, though, doesn’t it?”

  “Not at all. When you put it like that, it sounds pretty nice,” Ash answered honestly. This was certainly not the type of conversation she was used to having but somehow, when she looked into Carrie’s deep blue eyes, the subject didn’t feel as threatening.

  “Well, it’s a moot point right now anyway. I’ve got way too much invested in work to even think about starting a relationship, much less build the type of home life I’d want to bring a child into.”

  “For what it’s worth, I think you would make a great parent,” Ash said.

  Slowly the conversation stopped, and Ash was at a loss for words. She struggled to think of something charming but couldn’t stop staring at Carrie.

  “Yes?”

  “You look nice,” she blurted out.

  Nice? Ash cursed herself. Carrie looked better than nice. She was wearing cream-colored slacks and a black blouse with a neck that was cut just low enough to make Ash’s mind wander where it shouldn’t.

  “Thanks,” Carrie responded shyly, seeming both pleased and slightly embarrassed with the compliment. “I should go see if Amy needs any help setting up the table.”

  “Yeah,” Ash said, reluctant for the moment to end. “I’d better give Sharon a hand.”

  Carrie nodded and headed into the other room. Once again all Ash could do was watch her go.

  *

  Mary and Sharon’s back yard was exactly what anyone would expect to find from looking at the front of the house. A large oak tree shaded a swing set Ash had helped Sharon assemble for Annie’s first birthday. On the other side of the yard vegetables grew in three or four rows. Mary tended these more as a hobby than anything else, but a few of the tomato plants still looked like they might produce. Closer to the house, just beyond the sliding doors, was a small wooden picnic table and the grill.

  Ash found Sharon there, flipping burgers. “How’s it going?” she asked, inspecting the burgers appreciatively. She hadn’t eaten much over the past twenty-four hours and the smell made her mouth water.

  “Pretty good. This batch is about done.”

  “You want me to get some hot dogs out?”

  “Sure.” Sharon indicated a package on the nearest picnic table.

  After Ash added these to the grill, she stood in silence for a moment, staring blankly at the meat cooking over the glowing coals.

  “Long night?” Sharon finally asked, moving some of the burgers onto a platter.

  “You could say that.”

  “What did you think of the youth center?”

  Ash rolled her eyes, not really sure how to handle that question diplomatically.

  “That good, huh?”

  “It had its moments.”

  “You don’t have to sugarcoat it for me,” Sharon said. “The whole center thing isn’t my cup of tea either. I’d rather baby-sit one kid than a whole room full of them.”

  Ash wasn’t surprised by Sharon’s views. Mary was the one who wanted a family, something Ash couldn’t understand, much less provide, back when they were seeing each other. But Sharon had been able and willing, and Ash respected that. She hadn’t protested when Mary started dating her. She’d understood that it was time for both of them to move on with the lives they wanted. The decision had worked out well for Mary, and Ash was happy about that, but every now and then she had the sense that she’d let Mary down.

  “Mary seems to think the center is important,” Ash said, toeing the politically correct line. “Kids need a safe place to go just in case the real world gets complicated.”

  “Well, I t
hink they need good role models,” Sharon conceded. “I’m just glad that other people, like Mary and Carrie, enjoy being that for them.”

  “Amen to that.” Ash turned the hot dogs.

  “At least the night wasn’t a total waste for you. Mary said you found yourself some after-hours entertainment.”

  Ash grinned. “Is that how she put it?”

  “No, I think she said you just glanced at some blonde and her clothes fell off.”

  Ash shook her head, but was secretly pleased at the assessment of her charisma. “Your wife has a flair for the dramatic. It took me a good hour and a half to get Blondie’s clothes to fall off.”

  Sharon shook her head. “I don’t know how you do it.”

  “Sure you do. You were the same way before you met Mary.”

  “I guess.” Sharon ran her hand through her chin-length black hair. She was still attractive despite the air of domesticity she had acquired over the years. “It’s just hard to imagine doing it now.”

  “Why?” Ash was genuinely interested. She’d never understood how someone could not want to fall into bed with a beautiful woman.

  “I don’t know. I guess I just grew out of it.”

  “Grew out of what? Sex?”

  “Good God, no. I wasn’t tired of the sex. I got tired of the instability. I mean, I would have great sex and then that would be it. No follow-up, no next time. Afterward there was nothing, you know?”

  Ash nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

  “Yeah, most of the time, until…” Sharon paused, thoughtfully choosing her words. “Until you meet someone you want to be there in the morning and they aren’t.”

  “So you chose to settle down because you wanted a second date?”

  Sharon regarded her with a mixture of amusement and patience. “When I met Mary, it wasn’t so much that I wanted a second date so much as I was terrified I wouldn’t get one.”