Wanting (PAVAD)

by Calle J. Brookes

  Ashleigh shook her head. Her and her mom might have argued a lot lately—mostly since Elliot came around—but her mom had always taken care of her. “No...”

  “I didn’t think so. But remember, it’s ok for you to be angry with your mom. It is. But it’s not really her fault, either. She trusted the wrong man. She made a mistake, too. Just give her some slack, if you can. Ok?”

  “Ok.”

  Ashleigh didn’t have anything to say while they were driving to the FBI building. Agent Al chatted about everything. Ashleigh had to smile at the woman’s words several times.

  Agent Al seemed so normal. That had her frowning; would Ashleigh ever be normal again?

  She somehow didn’t think so.

  “All the kids at school will know what happened.”

  “Yes. Probably. It will eventually make the news about Marco. We can try to keep your name out of it. But someone could find it.”

  “I don’t want to go back.”

  “That’s something you’ll have to talk to your parents about. But don’t make any hasty decisions, ok? You might just need to take some time to readjust. You know what I mean? Or transfer to a different school, if you can. But Ashleigh...you can’t always run from your problems. This time it was the right thing to do—scary, dangerous, and incredibly brave—and the right thing to do. Next time, running might not be. And you don’t want to get in the habit of running from things, or you’ll be running for the rest of your life. Give it some thought, ok?”

  Ashleigh nodded.

  They were at the FBI building within a few more minutes and Ashleigh started shivering when she could see it in the distance. Why was the building so scary?

  Because Elliot was in there.

  Ashleigh did something she’d not done since she was a little kid—she slipped her hand into an adult’s and clung.

  Agent Al pulled her closer. “It’s ok. He will not hurt you ever again. I promise.”

  Chapter 47

  *****

  No one said much as they sat around the back tables in Smokey’s bar a few hours later. Sebastian and Carrie had finished up the interview with Elliot Courtney and the few other people he’d named locally, then headed to Carrie’s apartment. He’d offered to let her stay with him for another night or so, but she’d declined. He’d just been thankful the crime scene clean-up team had managed to restore her place to some order. Her furniture would have to be replaced, but the trash and spoiled food was gone.

  He’d easily sensed her reluctance to be alone in the place and he’d decided spur of the moment that a visit to Smokey’s was in order. She hadn’t protested, just grabbed her bag and keys.

  He kept a hand on her back as they wove through the crowd toward the table where Fin and several members of Carrie’s own team sat sharing a few pitchers of beer and trays of nachos. Carrie slipped into the large booth next to her teammate Compton. Sebastian followed her down, knowing she wouldn’t want to sit next to the aisle. She never did and had told him when they’d eaten breakfast yesterday in the Louisville diner that she couldn’t stand the thought of strange waiters brushing against her accidentally.

  How much did the sensory issues bother her? How many times were her quirks overlooked, by him or by others? Had she just managed to develop so many coping mechanisms that no one really ever noticed?

  He scanned the bar’s occupants, just like he always did, taking note of how many of the PAVAD agents, including half his own team, were hanging around. They sat in clusters talking and a handful was on the small dance floor barely bigger than his own living room. He felt himself start to relax. It was like so many other nights after work.

  “So are you all taking the case and running with it?” Fin asked from across the table. “Or are you passing it along to ICE?”

  Immigration and Customs Enforcement often handled human trafficking cases. Sebastian was waiting on information from them first. “We’re waiting for word from Ed Dennis. We’re on standby. I’d like to finish it out, but ICE might have better resources. Or might already be aware of the ring. Waiting and seeing.” One thing PAVAD was famous for already was its complete lack of jurisdictional bickering with other agents. Ed Dennis claimed that the need for good teams was universal, and if another good team could handle a case that freed up his people to work on others.

  “And your friend’s daughter?”

  “Currently in a safe house with both of her parents. They’re also in a wait and see. They’ll be entering witness protection together.” Waiting and seeing and trying not to kill each other. It wasn’t an ideal situation for Sherry, Ashleigh, or Cavanaugh. But both parents had insisted on being with their daughter, no matter what. Sebastian could understand and appreciate that. He would do the same in their position.

  “Ouch. Aren’t the parents nastily divorced? Feel for the poor agents assigned to them. And the kid.” Fin’s hand rested on the swell of his wife’s belly. The small redhead looked ready to pop to Sebastian, but he refrained from saying anything. The last time he’d suggested Ana Sorin McLaughlin take a break, she’d nearly taken his head off. Fin’s wife was fierce, for all of her diminutive size.

  “Carrie, how are you? Georgia told me of your apartment.” Ana’s attention was focused on Carrie, her gaze sympathetic. He’d forgotten she and Carrie were friends.

  “Better. Sebastian had crime scene clean up handle the big issues while we were interviewing today. Now I just need a new couch, bed, and coffee table. But the important stuff—my computers and instruments, my guitars—were all ok.”

  “If you need anything, let me know. Even if it’s just moral support.”

  “I’m good, Ana. But thank you. I just don’t like the idea of someone in my apartment and me not knowing why.”

  Compton rubbed a hand down her arm briefly, and she tolerated it for a moment. Sebastian watched her slip away from Compton and closer to his side. He slipped his arm behind her back before he was even aware he was moving. He cuddled her closer on the bench seat. She let him, almost didn’t seem to realize he’d done it.

  What did that tell him? That she was accustomed to his touch? That it felt natural to her? That she sought him out when she felt vulnerable?

  His body tightened with the thought of what else would be natural between them.

  Chapter 48

  *****

  Dan wasn’t lost to the atmosphere covering the teams’ usual Smokey’s tables. How could they reasonably expect to enjoy themselves when they knew that in the morning they’d most likely be dealing with bastards and scum who thought nothing of stealing kids out of their own damned schools and homes, then selling them to the highest depraved bidders? Sick.

  Lorcan and Carrie finally arrived, seemingly oblivious to the looks they were getting from the rest of the PAVAD agents relaxing throughout the bar. Was Carrie even aware what everyone was thinking? Dan somehow doubted it.

  Lorcan had a look on his face, almost daring someone to challenge him. Dan never would have figured him to be the type to go for a sweet girl like Carrie. A more sophisticated woman like Alessandra—someone who knew what she was doing with men—seemed much more Lorcan’s type. But then again, maybe that was Carrie’s appeal for him? Sweet, innocent, and young? There had to be a good ten years between the two. It left a bit of a distaste in Dan’s mouth.

  He didn’t want his girl hurt.

  He watched the couple for the rest of the night at Smokey’s, and what he saw confused him even more. There were no obvious signs of a relationship between the two—and Dan had worked the job long enough to be able to read people pretty damned good, if he did say so himself. Lorcan only touched her casually, little gestures that Dan had seen from colleagues thousands of times. Only because it was Carrie being touched that way—when everyone knew she hated touching of any kind—clued Dan in to their rapidly changing relationship.

  Carrie got up once, to go to the restroom with Alessandra and Paige. Dan watched her walk away then looked at the man across the ta
ble from him. The challenge was easy to see in Lorcan’s expression. Dan wouldn’t. Despite his protective feelings toward Carrie—and he’d be the first to admit he had them—she was an adult and capable of making her own decisions. Otherwise she wouldn’t be on one of the best federal investigative teams in the nation. There were boundaries and Dan would always respect them. Still, he worried for her state of mind, and Lorcan was the one who had been with her the most. He had the information Dan needed. “She doing ok?”

  Lorcan nodded. “Think so. It bothers her, of course. She’d apparently had someone break into her place while in Virginia, and she’s nervous. Naturally. But like she told me, she can defend herself with force, if necessary.”

  “Still.”

  “Yeah. I know. It makes me uneasy, too. But she spoke with the lead detective on the case and he seems to think it’s a random burglary, similar to others they’ve had in the neighborhood.”

  “Random burglary on the fourth floor of a secure apartment building. With nothing taken.” It sure as hell didn’t sound random to Dan. He could tell Lorcan and Hellbrook, as well as the rest of the agents at the table, were skeptical. “They sure?”

  “As they can be at this point. The superintendent of her building is keeping a closer eye on her place then before. And that’s saying a lot. He’s retired military, and feels protective of her.”

  Dan didn’t have to like it. Maybe he’d swing by her place a couple of times through the night, just to check on her, himself.

  Not that he didn’t think Carrie could take care of herself, of course. But he knew she was pretty much all alone in this world, except for Paige and their team. If it were one of his daughters in the same situation where in the hell would he be?

  Right there watching over them, ensuring they were safe.

  He would do no less for Carrie.

  Chapter 49

  *****

  Kevin sat at the bar nursing his one beer and half-listening to the conversations surrounding him. They were the same in every cop bar he’d ever visited. He liked this one. Smokey’s. It was warm and clean, with fast and friendly service. A good mix of blue uniforms mingled with the suit-and-tie-and-holster set. He studied the people around him as he wondered what exactly he should do about his daughter. Should he confront her?

  He’d watched her this evening, feeling like a damned stalker outside her apartment. She’d pulled up in a dark SUV that he could have sworn was government issue and he’d immediately known it was her. The hair was redder than his or his younger daughters’. No surprise, considering Caroline’s mother had possessed dark red hair. But other than the darker hair it was like looking at Brynna or Melody. They were around the same height and build. Even wore their hair in similar styles. Beautiful girls, his daughters. All of them.

  He’d started to climb out of the rental car, but hesitated. She’d gotten out of the passenger side. She wasn’t alone and his attention had shifted to the tall dark man who’d driven her home.

  Cop was written all over the man, though he’d worn a somber business suit. Dark shades had hidden the man’s eyes and it made Kevin’s hackles rise. He hated not being able to see someone’s eyes.

  Who was the guy? A boyfriend of Caroline’s? Despite the suit he looked a bit too rough for Kevin’s taste. And too old. He was at least mid-thirties.

  The questions had had Kevin staying in the vehicle and watching the couple cross the street. It was obvious his daughter was reluctant to go inside. The man didn’t push her, and Kevin had to give him points for that.

  Finally Caroline nodded and the two entered the building, his daughter snuggling her cat close. Kevin decided it would probably be best to wait until his daughter wasn’t so obviously off-kilter before approaching her. She’d had a rough night last night, with her place being desecrated. It wouldn’t be a good idea for him to spring his presence on her. Not now.

  He drove away slowly, every fatherly instinct telling him not to leave his daughter. He paused and parked behind the SUV she’d arrived in and jotted down the license plate number. He’d send it to his Brynna and have her run it. Find out what he could about the man with his daughter. Kevin had always liked to have as much information as possible before he’d enter a playing field.

  He texted Brynna the information while he waited for the waitress to deliver his nachos, extra cheese and hold the peppers. She sat the dish in front of him and he thanked her.

  “Anytime, hot stuff. We like to keep our boys-in-blue happy.”

  “How did you know?” He certainly hadn’t advertised his profession. Had he?

  “Gun on your ankle, way you walk. The way you’re checking out the room. Reminds me of so many of these guys, there’s no guesswork involved. You a transfer to the area?”

  “Not really. Just looking for a relative I’d lost touch with twenty years ago.”

  “Well, good luck to you. Let me know if you need anything else, ok? I have to take this tray here to the feebs over there, but other than that, I can get you whatever you need.” The tiny blonde pointed to the largest table in the back of the restaurant and Kevin studied them casually.

  His attention sharpened seeing the dark-haired guy at the edge of that table. The suit was familiar. Kevin looked closer. A redhead was visible just behind the man. Caroline? Was he that close to his daughter? Should he... “Do you know the name of that guy there? He looks familiar.”

  “Doubt he’s the one you’re looking for. Only been here in St. Louis a few months. An agent with some fancy FBI division. They all are at that table. Every last one of them.”

  “No. The person I’m looking for isn’t FBI. But thank you.” Kevin studied the group carefully after the waitress left. The dark haired guy kept a close eye on Kevin’s daughter, protective. Overbearing? Kevin had to wonder. No one else at their table seemed to think anything was unusual about it.

  Kevin watched her until he knew it would start to appear suspicious. He didn’t want her thinking he was crazy. He’d hit the restroom, then head back to the motel room he’d rented a few blocks away. Maybe he’d make a point of going by her place tomorrow.

  He exited the restroom a few minutes later and there she was. Ten feet away, with a tall skinny brunette and a curvy blonde walking beside her. She smiled, but didn’t chatter the way the other two girls did. Was she naturally reserved? He stopped and stared. He knew he shouldn’t. But this was his kid, just like Brynna or Melody or Jillian or Sydney. He’d waited for so long to find her.

  Should he say something?

  Would that freak her out, having some strange guy in a bar approach her claiming to be her father? Probably. He couldn’t do that to her.

  He took a step back, just as she and her friends walked directly by him. He could have reached out and touched her. Her dark-haired friend looked at him, a puzzled expression on her face. Had he revealed something?

  He hurriedly apologized and stepped out of the girls’ paths. Forced himself to turn away from her.

  He couldn’t speak to her now. Not tonight. Not without some sort of plan or something. It wouldn’t be right to spring his presence on her now. Not with her friends surrounding her and with what she’d been through recently. He couldn’t add to that. He couldn’t.

  Kevin walked out of the bar without another look back, even though it was one of the hardest things he’d ever done.

  Chapter 50

  *****

  “Are you sure you want to stay here alone?”

  Carrie looked at the man walking behind her. His jacket was off and his mint green shirt unbuttoned partially. His hair was ruffled. He looked good. Tired, but good. “I’ll be ok. This is my house. I can’t let some faceless person keep me out of it for any longer. It’s mine. And I worked hard to get it.”

  “How did you get it? I mean, property in this area is at a premium.”

  “I designed some software while in college. I sold it for a pretty considerable profit. I bought this building when I moved here and hired people
to fix it up. Now I have nine apartments. The super lives in the one in the basement. The rent more than makes a profit. It’s mine. And I worked hard to get it.” And no one was going to take that away from her. Carrie had always wanted her own place and this one was everything she’d dreamed of while out in the cold, dark underbelly of the cities. It was large, and warm, and had character. She’d seen to that.

  “Good for you. I can stay with you. If you want. I can even sleep on the floor, I’m not picky.”

  That was crazy. And oh-so-very-tempting. “No. I’m good. I’ve got my cell and my gun. And I reset all the security system passwords. I’m a trained federal agent. If I can’t protect my own home, I don’t need to be doing this job.”

  “If you’re certain...Carrie...promise you will call if anything out of the ordinary happens. I can be here in less than five minutes if I have to.”

  “But you won’t have to.” Carrie was firm on that. She would not let these people mess with her life any longer than they had. She’d had the excuse of finding Ashleigh to hide behind the night before, but now that was gone. It was time she got back to her own life. “Thank you, though.”

  “Message taken.” He put his hands on her shoulders, something she hadn’t expected. She let him pull her closer, knowing what he was about to do.

  His lips brushed hers and Carrie closed her eyes. She leaned closer to him. His scent surrounded her and his heat warmed her skin. “Kiss me.”

  “I am.”

  “Kiss me harder, please. I like it when you kiss me.”

  “I’m happy to oblige.”

  He kissed her for several long moments, outside her apartment door. He pulled away first, trying to catch his breath. Carrie rested her head against his chest, conscious of him surrounding her. She wanted to cuddle against him forever.

  That thought scared her. Carrie had never liked cuddling with anyone, not really. Her mother maybe. Occasionally. Years ago. No one since. What did that mean? “I think you need to go.”