Down Home Blues

by Phyllis R. Dixon

  “It’s not even about the belt. It’s about following rules. The smartest guys in the world are locked up because they had problems following rules. They’ve got this system waiting for you. They’re shipping jobs overseas and the only thing they’re building in the United States is jails for black boys. Don’t fall into the trap. If I have to come over there and live in a shelter so I can see you off to school every morning, I’m going to make sure it doesn’t happen to you.”

  “Dang. It’s not that serious. I’ll wear the belt. Mama just got home and wants us to help her with the groceries. Talk to you later.”

  The mention of groceries set off Carl’s hunger pangs. He ate a banana and yogurt in the morning before practice and hadn’t had anything else all day. He went in the house and headed straight for the kitchen. As he searched the refrigerator, he received a text from Portia. She had heard about what happened and called while he was at the hospital. He had told her he would call when he got home.

  “Hey there,” he said when she answered. “I just got home. I’m going to raid the refrigerator, then watch a ball game.”

  “If you wait twenty minutes, I can bring you something decent to eat,” Portia said. “I know hospital food can be pretty bad.”

  “It’s worse than that,” Carl said. “I haven’t eaten anything.”

  “I’m on my way,” she said.

  He didn’t have any money for his sons, but maybe what he did offer was even more valuable. And Portia was turning out to be a little more than all right. He was almost sorry when her car got fixed and he no longer had an excuse to see her every day. He finally asked her to a movie and they’d been dating ever since. Her days were long since she commuted to Memphis, so they primarily saw each other on the weekends. It had only been about a month, but he felt like he’d known her all his life. Maybe the call from Franklin Contracting is a sign that I need to stick around here.

  Carl heard footsteps on the porch and a knock at the door. “That was a quick twenty minutes,” he yelled as he went to the door. But it wasn’t Portia. Rick and another police officer were at the door. “Is everything okay?” Carl asked as he opened the door.

  “Carl, I know your family, and hate to do this, but I have to arrest you,” Rick said.

  “What? What is this about?”

  “The fight today – you’re charged with assault. One of the parents is pressing charges.”

  “But I was breaking up the fight. You saw what was going on.”

  “And you’re also charged with being a felon in possession of a firearm.”

  “I didn’t have a gun.”

  “Your fingerprints were on the gun. I’m sorry, I have to take you in,” Rick said.

  “Don’t I get to call somebody?”

  “You can do that when you’ve been officially booked.”

  “This is bullshit.”

  Portia drove up as the officer opened the squad door for him. “What happened?” she asked.

  “Call my sister. Call Carolyn.”

  BEVERLY

  “You reap what you sow.” That’s what Mama used to say. Mark is in town and wanted to take me out. Any other time, it’s me and the remote, but this time I had two suitors. I lied and told Mark I didn’t feel well, so I could go out with Louis. He was a beauty supply sales rep and always flirted with me when he came to the salon. I figured he was a better prospect since he was local. We had plans for a movie then dinner. We went to the theater across town, because he said there was a restaurant over there he liked. But when we came out of the theater, his wife was parked next to his car—yes, I said wife. She called me everything but a child of God. I wanted to tell her it wasn’t that serious, and she could keep her short, no-kissing, man. I left them arguing in the parking lot and went back inside the theater to call a cab. I had to wait an hour for the cab, then the driver got stuck in construction, and it took an hour to get home. That’s two hours of my life wasted that I won’t get back—make that four, because the movie was sorry, too. I should have gone out with Mark, avoided the drama, gotten a good meal, and saved cab fare.

  I just never knew the dating pool was so shallow. I’ve heard my customers complain for years, but I didn’t think it could be that bad. It’s worse. I’m fine by myself, but if you ask me out, I assume that means you’re available. Silly me. I didn’t know I had to do a background check and lie detector test before every date. Sometimes I think I should just stay with Anthony. Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.

  CAROLYN

  “Hey, Sis, are you busy?” Carl asked.

  “Eating dinner. What’s up?”

  “I won’t hold you long. Just wanted to tell you, I had an interview with Mr. Franklin this afternoon and while we were talking, one of his customers had a pipe burst. So guess who rode over to Johnson City with him and fixed it? Yours truly. As the old folks say, ‘I can show you better than I can tell you.’ He hired me and we didn’t even finish the interview.”

  “Carl, I’m so happy for you. That’s great news.”

  “Just one problem, I start tomorrow, so I can’t take you to work. I asked Perry to take you.”

  “Uhh, does he even have a license?” I asked. “That’s ok. I can find a ride with someone else. Don’t worry about me.”

  “Are you sure? I hate to leave you stranded. I already owe you for getting me out of the jam at the school,” Carl said. “I’m too close to getting off paper to have something stupid hang me up.”

  “I have one more form to file then everything should be cleared up. I’ll just add it to your bill. Call me tomorrow and tell me how it went.”

  “So who was that?” Derrick asked when I put the phone in my pocket. “Pretty rude to talk on the phone during dinner.”

  “That was Carl. He got a job and starts tomorrow, so I need to find a ride to work.”

  “Why don’t you just take off a couple days?” Derrick asked.

  “I can’t drive, but I feel okay. Kym lives in Dwight County. I’ll call and see if I can catch a ride.”

  Derrick left early and was gone by the time my ride came to pick me up. Derrick beat me home that evening and was waiting for me when I got dropped off.

  “Hey, honey,” I said as I stepped on the porch and waved good-bye to Kym.

  “Why are you so late?” Derrick asked, as I stepped in the house. “It’s almost eight o’clock.”

  “Kym had a late meeting, so I worked until he finished.”

  “He?”

  “Yeah. You know Kym Walls.”

  “You mean Kymball Walls?”

  “Right. I just always called him Kym.”

  “So you’ve been out half the night with another man?”

  “I wouldn’t call working late out with another man.”

  “Well, that’s what I call it and you won’t be riding with him anymore.”

  “You can’t be serious,” I said.

  “I’m sure there’s someone else you can ride with.”

  “I could probably find someone, but that’s not the point.”

  “What is the point?”

  “You’re acting like my master instead of my husband. I’m a grown woman. ”

  “A grown married woman. I don’t see what’s so wrong about me not wanting my wife riding around with other men.”

  “Because it means you don’t trust me. We spent a whole year living in separate cities. The only way that could work was if we trusted each other.”

  “I trust you, but I’m not stupid, and I don’t see why we’re even debating it. I’d better not see or hear about it.”

  I hadn’t heard that word since the fourth grade. “Who do you think you’re talking to? I’ll do what I want,” I said as I took off my shoes and headed toward the kitchen.

  “Don’t walk away from me,” Derrick said as he grabbed my arm and snatched me back, ripping the seam of my blazer and causing the buttons on the sleeve to pop off.

  “Derrick, stop. Let go.”

  “Wel
l, don’t dismiss me, like one of your employees. I’m still talking to you.”

  “Okay,” I whispered as tears filled my eyes. “Please let go.”

  “Don’t cry, baby,” Derrick said as he loosened his grip and put his arms around me. “I love you and can’t bear to think of you being with another man. If I didn’t give a flip, you could do whatever. I just don’t think it’s appropriate for a married woman to spend hours alone with another man. Especially if there are other alternatives. Stay home tomorrow. I’ll take off early.”

  “I can’t believe you did that.” I dated a guy a long time ago that put his hands on me one time and I never gave him the chance to do it again. “I’m scared Derrick.”

  “I am so sorry,” Derrick said. “You don’t need to be afraid of me. I just love you so much.”

  “I love you too. So why are we fighting like this? Maybe we should go to counseling.”

  “We don’t need to go spend a bunch of money to tell some white folks all our business.”

  “We can find a black one and it’s free and confidential through my job.”

  “I don’t care if he’s purple, we don’t need that. Do you really think they don’t track who uses those services? You don’t want that on your record,” Derrick said as he held my hand between his.

  “I’ve never seen this side of you,” I said.

  “And you’ll never see it again. If you want to go to counseling, fine. I’ll do whatever you want. Just let me make it up to you. Take off tomorrow and we can spend the day together.”

  “But I hate to waste a sick day when I’m not sick.”

  “So spending time with me is wasting a day?”

  “You know that’s not what I meant,” I said as I rubbed my arm.

  “You’re under a doctor’s care. That’s what the leave is for.”

  My head was throbbing, and all I wanted to do was lay down. To keep the peace, I agreed to stay home. In a backhanded way, Derrick had told me he loved me. Something he rarely did anymore unless we were horizontal. It’s strange how things work out. If we hadn’t argued, I wouldn’t have taken off work. We spent the next day together, fishing, tending to the yard, and making love, not the rushed, tired, end of the day sex we’d been having. We agreed we were both working too hard and needed to spend more time together. I rode to work with Portia the rest of the week.

  They say if a man puts his hands on you once, he’ll do it again. But there are exceptions to every rule and Derrick promised he would never hurt me again.

  CECELIA

  Cecelia locked the door behind her, put her purse on the kitchen counter, and hung her Jason Wu coat on the back of the barstool before she picked up the ringing phone. Since her phone was off, she had given the hospital the condo number as a second contact. She saw her sister’s name on the caller ID and answered.

  “Girl, where have you been?” Carolyn asked.

  “Well, hello to you, too.”

  “I’m not in the mood for pleasantries. I’ve been calling and texting you for two days. I got worried when I didn’t hear from you so I called the hospital. They said you worked the early shift. Do you have a new man or something? Why are you ignoring my calls?”

  “I’m not ignoring you. I dropped my phone and haven’t had time to get a new one. What’s up?”

  “You know I’m trying to sell the condo. The realtor called. She wanted to show my condo to someone who is moving to town and needed to see it right away. She couldn’t get in, and they bought another unit in the building, even though mine was priced lower.”

  “What can I say? I’m sorry.”

  “I’m getting very frustrated with this situation. Last time I had a potential buyer, you missed two appointments to meet the realtor.”

  “I told you I was called to emergency surgery. Patients don’t arrange their emergencies around my schedule.”

  “Well, I know you didn’t want me to, but I’m sending her a copy of the key. She needs to be able to get in on short notice. ”

  “Okay. Do what you need to do. I told you I’m sorry. How’s Daddy?”

  “He’s fine. Miss Emma invited us to dinner tomorrow. I’ve run out of reasons to decline her invitation,” Carolyn said.

  “Why do you need an excuse? Just tell Daddy the truth. You’re not in the mood to break bread with him and his mistress.”

  “I’m not as skilled at being rude as you are.”

  “You can call it rude. I call it being real. You don’t see Daddy asking me nothing about that woman. He knows how I feel. I never liked her anyway. She gave me a ‘B’ in her class, when I know I did enough work to get an ‘A’.

  “Raymond says we’re being selfish and should try for Daddy’s sake.”

  “Raymond is a man and they stick together. He used to take Michael’s side in everything too.”

  “You’re my sister, but Michael was right most of the time.”

  “Et tu Brutus?”

  “Michael was a good man. I bet you two could get back together if you half tried.”

  “Who says I want to get back together?”

  “I was single a long time. I know it’s slim pickings out there, especially the older we get. Just call him sometime.”

  “Why would I want to get back with a man that has taken my children and my money? If it wasn’t for him, I’d still be in my house. He wasn’t satisfied to just let me lose the house, he wants a chunk of my paycheck so I can’t afford another one. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t let me stay here.”

  “It’s not his fault if Junior said he wanted to go live with his dad, and so by all rights you are supposed to pay child support.”

  “Carolyn, whose side are you on?”

  “I’m just being real, like you said. You staying there worked out for both of us. My place isn’t empty and you can save some money to get back on your feet. ”

  That was the plan, but things hadn’t quite worked out that way. If anything, she was deeper in debt, and her plan to save money while staying in Carolyn’s condo seemed doomed from the start. She had taken out Parent PLUS loans to help her daughter get through college. She was in an accident one evening on her way home from Lady Luck. She didn’t have gap insurance and her insurance settlement didn’t cover the repairs. She applied the insurance payment to a new car, and now she had a larger car payment. Then she dropped her computer and after spending hundreds of dollars to get it fixed, it still didn’t work properly and she had to get a new one. Last year was the first year she had filed her taxes as a single person and her withholding was too low. Instead of the tax refunds that she was used to, she ended up owing almost three thousand dollars. She thought she could get an extension until October. But she didn’t realize that the extension to file her taxes didn’t mean an extension of time to pay, so penalties and interest were added. She knew Carolyn was disappointed that her condo hadn’t sold yet, but it was a break for Cecelia. She didn’t know where she would be if she had to add rent to all these bills.

  “Well, I’m not exactly on my feet yet, but at least I’m not on the street. Thanks again for letting me stay here,” Cecelia said. “I may give you a hard time, but I do appreciate it, and I’ll do a better job of keeping in touch with your realtor.”

  “Girl, you are so dramatic. You wouldn’t have been on the street. But you are welcome.”

  “All right, talk to you later.”

  Cecelia called the bank to be sure her paycheck had been deposited, then found her cell phone bill and called to get her phone turned back on. She had been given a reprieve so far, but she couldn’t stay in Carolyn’s condo forever. She needed to get some money together soon, and living paycheck to paycheck wasn’t going to get it. This was not how she envisioned her forties. She was supposed to have money in the bank, take at least one expensive vacation a year, and be close to burning her mortgage. She hadn’t expected to be rich, but she certainly expected more than this. True, she was healthy and weighed almost the same as when she g
raduated from college. She had a career that she loved, her children were healthy, and Simone was the cutest granddaughter alive. Seeing so much death and illness at work, she didn’t take these things for granted. But starting over at this age was demoralizing. She felt she deserved more, and she was determined to get it.

  “It’s not going to come to me. I’m going to have to go get it,” Cecelia thought, and went through her boxes and found her test prep materials for the RN- two position. She also found a Lady Luck coupon with forty dollars in free play. No need in letting this go to waste. She grabbed her jacket, purse, and keys, as she set out for one last hurrah.

  “If you don't like my ocean, don't fish in my sea

  Stay out of my valley, let my mountain be …

  You'll never miss the sunshine till the rain begin to fall

  You'll never miss your ham till another mule be in your stall.”

  Ma Rainey

  Chapter 5

  DON’T FISH IN MY SEA

  Mary J. just finished her mini-concert and Charlie Wilson is up next. I’m supposed to be cleaning out things Anthony left behind, but when I ran across his extensive CD collection, my cleaning session turned into a one-woman party. The CD player and tower had been collecting dust in the guest room. Before you could program Ipods or get satellite radio, we played CDs all day in the salon. I started with Prince then the soundtrack from Cadillac Records. We played that one so much, we bought at least three CDs. I tried to listen to Luther Vandross, but ended up reminiscing about Anthony and fighting back tears. I pulled Luther out, found Mary J. and my daddy’s peach wine, and the party was back on.

  All that’s left downstairs is to pull the last of Anthony’s stuff out of the closet. On this day last year, he moved out. Or should I say, I broke his phone into pieces with a hammer, then threw it out and told him if he knew what was good for him, he would follow that phone out the door. We were separated, but I thought we were giving each other space to work on our marriage. But he took it as permission to do what he had been doing all along anyway, and that day I had had enough. I’ve been asking him for months to come get the rest of his stuff. Every now and then, he’ll stop by to get something he needs. Last week it was his boots. Aunt Belle says it’s a tactic to keep one foot in the door. Maybe I wanted him to have one foot in the door. I’ve never been alone. I went from my father’s house to being Mrs. Anthony Townsend. But it’s been a year and I’m ready to close that door. If he won’t remove his foot, I’ll do it for him, I thought as I stuffed old jerseys in a bag.