The Trouble With Misbehaving

by Victoria Hanlen

  Beau took her lips, swallowing her cry as she throbbed around him in an ecstasy so fierce her mind spun away into a cloud of bliss.

  His soft kisses eventually brought her back, and a warm wave of love floated through her. How she loved him. Loved the overwhelming feel of him in her and covering her. She cupped his cheek and tried to show him in her kiss.

  He moaned against her lips and grasped her bottom, holding her in place as he rocked into her in heavy, deep thrusts. Impossibly, his cock seemed to grow even larger.

  Within moments he groaned, “C.C.! Luv!”

  She wrapped her arms around him and held him as tight as she could. As he plunged, a fiery cascade of charges raced through her.

  He growled and threw back his head, muscles tensing as he pumped. Flexing his hips, he rocked, driving deep. She could feel his cock swell, rigid and pulsing.

  “Aw, God!” he groaned, jerking, thrusting in even further as his body spasmed, igniting in her a stunning firestorm of ecstasy, so complete she didn’t know where she ended and Beau began.

  She floated weightless, every vein and tendon seared with pleasure.

  When she finally came back to herself, she found him lying atop her, still filling her, their arms locked around one another. Never had she felt such a connection. And she wanted to hold him like this forever.

  Emotions welled up and threatened to overwhelm her. A tear leaked out.

  He rose onto his elbows. “Did I hurt you?” His eyes had turned the softest she’d ever seen them and so dark they almost appeared black.

  “You were wonderful. No one told me it would be like this.”

  Kissing her temple, he growled huskily, “Aye, luv, and you were brilliant.”

  She bent her legs to adjust under his weight. Her movement provoked a rumble of male gratification, followed by a returning fullness.

  “Are you—?”

  “Mmm, hmm.” He gave her a heavy-lidded smile and bent to nuzzle her neck. “You’ve had this effect on me from the start.”

  Though she’d not admitted it to herself until now, she’d wanted to be with him like this since they’d first met. How could she have known he would bring her such happiness, and give of himself so generously? “Tell me again that you love me.”

  He silently gazed about her face with a kind of heated sternness.

  As moments ticked by, her heart sank. He wasn’t going to say it again. She loved him horribly, desperately. Never would she have expected joining with Beau would include such wholeness, such a powerfully intimate link, almost spiritual in its potency.

  Still, he refused to make any more declarations of love. She didn’t have anyone to blame but herself. He’d not wanted to stay and tried to warn her. Yet he’d been the one to bring up love. Stories abounded of men professing their deep affection to ensure feminine favors. Had he only told her what she wanted to hear?

  Her muscles trembled around his returning tumescence while her heart cried out to hear his words again. One moment stretched into the next. More doubt crept in. His rash declaration must have been in the ‘heat of the moment.’ He’d not meant it after all.

  Slowly, he began to rock, thrusting, plunging, coaxing her to move with him and find her pleasure. As he brought her to the zenith of her passion, he wrapped her even closer in his arms and said in a ragged whisper, “Tell me you’ll be my wife.”

  Chapter 29

  Beau clung to C.C. as the after-tremors of his raging climax rattled through him. This last coupling had him so devastated he doubted his heart would ever recover.

  The unexpected power of their lovemaking had shaken him to the core. Their bodies’ scintillating fit, combined with C.C.’s surprising sensuality, left him randy with need, even as he remained buried deep in her warmth.

  His mind floated in a euphoric haze—and he knew this is where he belonged.

  Words kept playing over in his mind: my home, my heart, mine.

  After he’d withdrawn from their extended first lovemaking, he’d quietly gotten up, washed and brought C.C. a damp cloth. When she gave it back to him, he saw proof that the rogue in her scandal hadn’t ruined her. She’d been a virgin, untouched and falsely accused. And Beau had made her his in every way a man could make a woman his own.

  They’d dozed and awoke to make love again and again with all the desperation of two lovers fearing these might be their last moments together.

  Gently, sweetly, Millie and Freddie had taught him to love. Maybe because of them, his heart had grown, learned. Now, the intensity of the love and joy he felt with C.C. was beyond anything he’d ever imagined.

  Plans began to take form in his mind. A responsible, steadfast man would find an occupation where he could be home and in bed with her every night. They would make a family together—children with C.C.’s beautiful face and his smile—all frolicking across a broad lawn, like he’d done as a child.

  At some point they’d slept. He awoke to her placing gentle kisses about his face and lips. Her fingers lightly brushed down his torso and then ever so lightly up his member.

  A rumble of pleasure vibrated in his chest and his shaft turned to solid oak. “See,” he said drowsily, “he really is a very jolly fellow, always ready and willing.”

  She laughed and trailed a kiss over his cheek and under his jaw. “I want you,” she said shyly, tracing a circle around his nipple.

  He wanted her too, with a fervor that made everything in him quake.

  “Marry me, C.C.,” he said again.

  Silence stretched between them as she gazed deep into his eyes. Hers had turned so soft and dark he couldn’t help but plunge into their depths. In that moment their souls touched and he knew she loved him as powerfully as he loved her.

  Instead of giving him an answer, she bit her lip and laid her head over his heart.

  ***

  With the first rays of dawn the magical night with Beau ended. Now, weak morning light filtered through Nate and Jesse’s porthole as C.C. helped them finish packing. The ship had docked right on schedule, and everyone seemed eager to disembark. Shouts and commotion throughout the ship only amplified the upheaval going on inside her.

  Today started a new chapter in her life, one that would no longer include Beau. She pressed her tongue to the roof of her mouth to stifle a hiccup.

  Nate gave C.C. a worried look as she buttoned his jacket and tied a scarf around his neck. “Are you crying because you’re sad to be back in England?”

  She swiped her hand across an eye and tried to smile. “No, sweetheart. I’m crying for happiness. I’ve missed London and my little dogs,” she lied. In truth it felt like her whole world had been turned inside out.

  “Can we see them today?” Jesse asked, excitedly.

  C.C. didn’t feel at all herself. New, confusing sensations trilled through her body and heart. In a few short hours she’d had a most profound awakening—a realm of womanhood she’d only overheard of in whispers, none of which prepared her for the real experience or its aftermath.

  “Cousin C.C?” Jesse asked again.

  She finally realized Jesse had spoken to her. “Did you say something, dear?”

  “Can we see your little dogs today?”

  “Yes. Yes, of course you can. They’ll be living with us.” She forced a smile, yet all she wanted to do was throw herself onto the cot, bury her face in the pillow and cry herself to sleep. Last night she and Beau got little rest. Practically from the moment they entered her cabin until dawn, they’d been locked together, as if both were afraid to let the other go.

  Her body still tingled from their intimacies. Beau’s scent and the scent of their lovemaking clung to her. They’d made love three, no, four times. Her most private places still throbbed with the heat and excitement of holding the man she cherished, locked deep inside. She was almost too sore to walk.

  C.C. slowly turned her back on the boys and folded another of Nate’s shirts to put in the valise. Her little cousins did not need to see her falling apart
.

  They couldn’t know how imprudent she’d been. She’d seduced Beau. Her breath caught. Before last night she’d thought she’d been in love with him. Now she understood the impossible depths emotions could take when a man and woman shared their most private selves.

  He’d asked her to marry him—twice. Another stream of tears spilled down her face. She snuffled and dabbed her nose with her handkerchief. Spending last night with him was supposed to soften their parting, not break her heart.

  She’d hoped sharing their last few hours together would be a sweet farewell. Instead, Beau had shown her rapture.

  How could she have known that besides missing his company and friendship, now she would crave his strong embrace, the scent of his skin, the taste of his kisses and their overwhelming physical joining?

  A soft knock at the door had Jesse jumping up and wrenching it open. “It’s Captain Tollier, C.C! Are you going with us, Captain?”

  She turned. Beau stood in the doorway, his expression filled with such love and desire, it was all she could do to keep from running into his arms and kissing him one last time.

  “Captain Tollier.” Jesse tugged on Beau’s jacket to get his attention. “Are you coming with us?”

  Beau gestured toward her with his hat. “If Miss Collins wants me.”

  Wants me…she almost gulped aloud. Her breath hitched and rattled all the way to the bottom of her lungs.

  “Can I help you with anything?” The warmth in his voice prompted the memory of his hands roaming over her body. “Would you like me to see you back to your aunt’s?”

  Jesse and Nate looked between C.C. and Beau, questioningly.

  “I—” she swallowed “—I think we have everything in hand.” With the little sleep she’d had and the apocalyptic disruption going on inside, if she gazed into Beau’s eyes much longer she would collapse. “The boys’ nurse is getting the steward to take our baggage. They’ll be back any minute.”

  From the time Beau left her bed until now, a solitary word of caution had finally cut through the chaos reeling in her mind. She needed to get a grasp on what had happened between them, and spend a few quiet days thinking things through.

  “When did you plan to leave for Liverpool?” she asked, trying not to look at Beau as she placed another of Jesse’s shirts in the valise.

  “That depends.”

  “On what?” Jesse piped up.

  Beau tousled the boy’s hair. “On a question Miss Collins needs to answer.”

  Nate tugged on Beau’s jacket. “What question?”

  C.C. huffed, “Jesse, Nate, have you looked under the cot and in all the corners for things you might have dropped or forgotten? Once we leave the ship we probably won’t be able to return.” She straightened and turned to Beau. “Perhaps in a day or two, I’ll have the boys settled. I need some quiet time to think about such a weighty subject.”

  Beau took a step toward her and grasped her hand. He leaned in to kiss her, and then appeared to think better of it as he quickly cut a glance at the boys. He and C.C. spent a timeless moment gazing at one another before he kissed her hand. “In a day or two then, my luh— Miss Collins.”

  ***

  Four days later C.C. sat at her library’s desk reading reports on her various investments and charities. Beyond her tall mullioned windows, the weak January sun struggled to peek through the clouds. She pulled out a clean sheet of paper and adjusted the lamp for better light. Something needed to be done to help the poor people who’d lost everything in the civil war. She would talk to her solicitor about how to set up a trust for the needy.

  A light tapping sound drew her attention to her door.

  Her aunt trudged in and set a tray on C.C.’s desk. “I’ve brought a little refreshment, dear.” She sat in the side chair and poured tea. “Since your return, you’ve been working entirely too hard. I had the nurse take the boys to the park. They’ll be joining Amelia’s brood for dinner. Hopefully there’ll be no interruptions for the rest of the day. If Captain Tollier calls, will you be at home this time?”

  “I haven’t decided.” C.C. knew she couldn’t trust herself with him, and couldn’t think clearly when he was anywhere near. Separation from him had been as bad as people described withdrawing from an opiate.

  “You’ve put him off twice. Will you tell me this time what he did that made you not want to talk to him? I’ve never seen you so miserable. If it will help, I will prevail upon Amelia to have Thomas reprimand him in the strongest possible terms.”

  C.C. launched to her feet and paced to the window. “He asked me to marry him, Auntie.” She turned back to her aunt. “I can’t tell him yes. But I can’t tell him no, either.” She clasped her hands over her midsection and pressed.

  Her aunt’s eyes widened and a stricken expression formed on her face as she gazed up and down C.C.’s figure. “Oh, my dear, has that rascal compromised you?”

  C.C. couldn’t answer and blinked back a sudden rush of tears.

  “Oh my, mmmm,” her aunt hummed, and swiped at her hair in agitation. “I was dreadfully afraid of something like this. You know I don’t like to speak badly of family but…that scoundrel!” She brushed at her skirts as if trying to sweep away something distasteful. “When you told me you’d hired him, I’d every confidence he could get you safely through the blockade. I feared the real danger to you was him. Was I correct?”

  “If there is blame to be assigned, it should go to me, Auntie.” The last night on the ship had been her fault. Even after nearly a week, the gravity and reality of what they’d done so overpowered her she still couldn’t take in all the residual emotions and sensations. In the space of one night, her heart, her body, her entire world changed.

  Her aunt’s voice rose a little in pitch. “Blame you? He has traveled the world with ample opportunity to hone his burgeoning expertise in the ways of seduction. You have lived a sheltered, chaste life. No doubt, he made you think it was your idea.”

  C.C. gulped. “He wouldn’t hurt me, Auntie, he saved my life over and over again.”

  “Of course he did. That’s why you paid him so well and—”

  “Over the journey, mutual regard grew into friendship and blossomed into affection and desire. And now…I’m hopelessly in love with him.” Her voice came out a plea. “What am I to do?”

  Her aunt’s eyes widened to two large circles. She sank back into the settee. “Well, that puts a different light on things. I know this is a very delicate question but, oh dear me…how do I say this… Are you carrying his child?”

  Heat flooded C.C.’s cheeks as she remembered their intense joining and shared ecstasy. Warmth still throbbed in places she’d never considered a sturdy man could…occupy. He’d taken her completely—four times. Her voice hitched in misery. “It’s too soon to tell.”

  “Has he confessed his love for you?”

  “Yes. He has.” His tender confession had been so spontaneous and filled with emotion the memory made her heart surge to nearly bursting.

  Her aunt’s features drew into tight lines. “You are far wealthier than him, and his reputation is sketchier than your own. Your parents had hoped you’d find a husband with more substance, someone higher ranking than the third son of an earl. Is that why you feel you can’t marry him?”

  “I knew I could never fulfill my mother’s ambitions. The defect has been inside me. After what happened when I was nineteen, I swore never to let myself get close to a man again.”

  “Did your mother give you any more insight into what actually occurred?”

  C.C. tasted that old rancid flavor of bile. “Somewhat. I knew the man I’d been in love with was my father’s arch competitor. At the time it seemed very romantic, like Romeo and Juliet.

  Mama informed me he was only using me to get close enough to my father so he could destroy him. And he succeeded splendidly, breaking up our family and causing my father’s death. Mama died before I could find out why the newspapers printed such fabrications about me, h
owever.”

  “Oh, my dear, I am sorry for your loss.”

  “Captain Tollier met Mama. I suspect she wasted no time in informing him he wasn’t good enough for me. I’ve wondered if he heard her statements about some of the seamier newspaper claims. He became distant after our journey to Clarkston.”

  “But Captain Tollier finally managed to get close to you.”

  “From our first meeting.” C.C. felt her face warm with color again.

  Her aunt’s hand flew to her mouth.

  C.C. tried to smile. “He kissed me, nothing more.”

  Her aunt huffed and shook her head. “Heavens, he’s as fast as people say.”

  A knock sounded at the door.

  “Enter,” C.C. said.

  Jenkins, her butler, stepped in. “Ma’am, Lord Sutterland is here to see you. And, I might add, he’s arrived with all his flags flying. He’s abandoned his wheelchair for crutches and is in possession of an enormous bouquet of flowers. It may not be my place to say, but—” he cleared his throat “—another declaration appears in the offing. Do you wish me to inform him you are at home?”

  C.C. rubbed her forehead and sighed. “I’ll see him in the parlor.”

  “Very good, ma’am.” He held out a silver salver. “Also, a messenger delivered this note. He said it is urgent.”

  C.C. opened the envelope. Chills streamed through her as she read the note. Black blots of panic made the words swim on the page. Jesse and Nate had been kidnapped and would be killed if she didn’t meet Lord Falgate in Berkeley Square at six p.m.

  She was to inform no one, yet oddly, there was no demand for a ransom. That seemed more ominous than if they’d asked for a trunk full of gold. Stuffing the note into her pocket, she chewed on the inside of her cheek to keep her face from revealing the terror churning inside.

  “What is it, dear?” Her aunt said with concern.

  “Oh, nothing, Auntie,” she tried to smile reassuringly and turned to Jenkins. “Please tell Lord Sutterland I’ll be there shortly.”