Chasing Hannah

by Melissa Ellen

  “Dude.” Aaron sighed with a shake of his head.

  I rolled my head around, cracking my neck to relieve some of the tension from their interrogation. “What?”

  Wes and Tucker both sat back in their seats, suddenly extremely interested in only their burgers and fries.

  “You gotta either shit or get off the pot,” Aaron answered. “You can’t just keep moping around, pining after a woman who’s thousands of miles away.”

  “When did this become a bro-vention, or any of your damn business?”

  The three of them exchanged nervous looks across the table. What the fuck?

  “Is that what this is about? Batting practice and all this male bonding time?” My jaw tensed with my muscles as I stared at them all. “You idiots are wasting your time.”

  “Come on, man. You’re our friend. Can’t blame us for wanting to cheer your lame ass up.”

  “Well, I’m fine.”

  “Then why so attached to your phone lately? I can’t even count the number of times you’ve checked it since we’ve been together today. Move on or don’t. But if you’re not going to, then do something about it.”

  “She lives in Seattle, asshole. What am I supposed to do?”

  “I don’t know, but anything is better than nothing.”

  “Yeah, well good thing I’m doing something then.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  I rubbed a palm over my face, already regretting what I was about to admit. “I’ve been talking to her every day since Monday. It’s why I’m checking my phone, ass. Because she’s supposed to find out if she got the job today.”

  “No shit?”

  “No shit.” I smirked.

  “So, what does that mean? Are you guys giving it a go? Long-distance or something?”

  “It means you assholes can start minding your own business.”

  “Fat chance.” Aaron grinned, picking up his burger again.

  That’s exactly what I was afraid of, and I knew it would only get worse once he told Leighton.

  After my shower, I settled in on the couch with a beer and the remote. I flipped on the TV, trying to distract my mind. I was giving her one more hour, then I was saying to hell with it and calling her.

  I didn’t even have to wait five minutes. My phone rang beside me, and I quickly picked it up, relieved as hell to see her name flashing on the screen.

  “Hey, blondie.” I smiled as I answered.

  “Hey! Guess what?!” she squeaked, her voice energized and excited.

  “You got the job.”

  “I got the job!”

  I laughed. It was like she hadn’t even heard me. “Congrats, babe. I knew you would.”

  “Yeah, well…I still can’t believe it. I’m going to be a buyer, not an assistant. I’ll have my own assistant!” Her words were slightly slurred with her excitement.

  “You drunk, blondie?”

  “Maybe a bit tipsy,” she admitted. “My parents took me out to celebrate. I just got home.”

  My muscles relaxed with the mention of her parents and the fact that she was home safe. I was already working up all kinds of damn scenarios in my head.

  “Adele and Phillip, right?”

  “Yeah,” she sighed. “My mom wants to meet you.”

  “So, you’ve talked about me to them?” I teased.

  “Maybe.”

  I heard the smile in her voice and the way her breathing was increasing. What’d I give to see it all in person, to hold her in my arms and touch her in all those little spots that made her moan and breathe a little harder.

  Feeling the strain in my pants, I cleared my throat. I needed to distract my mind with something else before I ended up jacking off to just the sound of her voice and my memories of her.

  “Well, I’d love to meet your parents someday, too.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah, sweetheart.”

  Carrying one end of the couch with Aaron having a hold on the other, we rotated it, getting it into place in my new living room before lowering it to the floor.

  “That it?” Leighton asked, coming around the corner from the kitchen.

  I glanced over my shoulder toward the front door. “Yeah, other than some boxes.”

  Wes and Tucker carried in the last few, placing them just inside the door along the wall. Lottie was right behind them with my floor lamp for the living room.

  It’d been almost a whole two months since Hannah had left. With Tucker’s paying construction jobs, he’d been a little delayed on finishing up the ranch house for me. I didn’t mind so much, since harvest was keeping me pre-occupied, except for the fact my lease was ending. Luckily, my landlord was an old family friend and let me stay a few extra weeks, since they didn’t have anyone new moving in any time soon.

  Slipping my hands into my pockets, I glanced around my new place as everyone made their way onto the porch to crack open the beers I’d provided in exchange for their help moving.

  Tucker was the only one to linger inside with me. “Hopefully you’re good with all the updates.”

  “No complaints here. It’s nicer than any place I’ve ever lived before.”

  I wasn’t exactly incapable when it came to home repairs, but Tucker was on a whole other level. The man just had an eye for it and was an insane perfectionist.

  “There for a while I thought maybe we’d be moving you farther away from us instead of closer by.”

  I shrugged, knowing he was referring to Hannah. The truth was, it had been getting harder for us to stay connected. With her new job, she’d been traveling a lot, and we barely spoke. The few times we’d managed, it was usually short conversations before she was being pulled a different direction.

  “Look man, I know we’ve never been as close as you and Aaron…and I get you not wanting others in your business…but a little advice from someone who’s been there before?”

  I nodded, even though I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear any more advice. But it was different coming from Tucker. He’d been in a similar situation with Lottie at one point in their lives.

  “Don’t let your pride get in the way. If you feel for her the way I think you do, find a way to make it work and be there with her.”

  He gave me a humorless smile as he slapped me on the back and walked outside with the others.

  I sat on the edge of the couch, my elbows digging into my knees as I leaned forward, taking a deep breath with my face buried in my hands. I knew Tucker was right; if only I knew how to make it work.

  I lifted another brisket from the pit, wrapping it in foil. We’d been up before dawn smoking the meat for Aaron and Leighton’s annual barbecue that always came the weekend after harvest ended.

  I’d spent our single phone call last week pleading with Hannah to come. I knew it was a long shot. She’d already had a work trip planned to New York. She’d be exhausted by the time she got back to Seattle, and I was sure the last thing she’d want to do was jump on another flight just to come to a picnic. I was hoping a chance to see me would sweeten the deal.

  Unfortunately, it was a hard no. Not even a maybe. I can’t lie and say that didn’t kill me a little more inside. All I wanted lately was to see her. The few times I thought about jumping on a plane to make a surprise trip to Seattle, she’d been busy or getting ready to leave town again. And truth be told, I couldn’t skip town until harvest ended anyway.

  I was desperately trying to hang on to what little we had without knowing exactly what the hell we were doing. It’s like we were in this weird limbo: not together, but not ready to let go of each other. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t constantly worried she’d met someone else.

  “Here.” Leighton passed me a fresh beer.

  I took a drink of the ice-cold liquid, wiping the sweat from my forehead. Standing in the hundred-degree Texas heatwave, next to a fiery pit, could make a man feel like he was burning in hell.

  “Thanks. I needed that.”

  “Don’t mention
it…” She sniffed at the air around me. “You gonna shower before the party starts?” she joked, waving her hand in front of her nose.

  “You gonna give me a chance to?” I retorted.

  She laughed. “Get outta here and get ready. I’ll take over until Aaron comes back.”

  I picked her up in a big bear hug, making sure to cover her in my sticky sweat.

  She squealed with a laugh, slapping at my chest. “Eww! Stop! You’re all gross!”

  I planted a big wet kiss on the top of her head before placing her feet back on the ground. “Love ya, sis!” I hollered as I ran off before she figured out a way to get me back.

  The party was in full swing with the band playing, the sun falling behind the horizon, and the string lights starting to glow over the picnic tables and dance floor that were set up outside of our old family barn. I spent most of the time trying to keep my mind occupied with making small chat with old friends.

  The moment Lottie and Tucker’s truck rolled up the dirt road, I felt that little bit of hope creep in. And like the heartless bitch reality was, she smashed that hope when they both stepped out of the truck minus one blonde. That’s all it took for my mind to be right back on Hannah—not that it ever really wandered far from her. But tonight, the memories of her were stronger than ever.

  Tonight marked one year since the first time we met, the first time I’d seen her. That night, for the first time ever, it felt like my life had truly begun. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I was already a goner with just her smile. She’d played coy, even though I knew she was anything but, having no idea this small-time country boy was a sure thing.

  With his arm around Lottie, Tucker walked her over to where I stood with Leighton and Aaron.

  “You two want a drink?” I offered them after shaking Tucker’s hand and giving Lottie a hug.

  “Yes, please,” Lottie plucked at the collar of her shirt. “It’s hotter than Hades today.”

  “You’re telling me, try being in it all day long by the smoker,” Aaron chimed in.

  “Pretty sure you spent more time ‘marinating the meat’ than by the pit. I was the one tending the fire all damn day,” I quipped. “Made me wonder what meat was actually getting marinated, seeing as how I was positive it was all on the grill already.”

  “Hey man, every man’s meat needs a little marinating from time to time.”

  Leighton smacked his chest, her face turning beet red. Tucker and Lottie laughed as I shook my head. “Dude, that’s my little sister. Boundaries.”

  Aaron just shrugged unapologetically with a chuckle, wrapping his arms around Leighton and kissing her on the neck.

  “That’s my cue. Be right back with those drinks,” I told Lottie and Tucker as I walked away.

  I snuck around the rear of the barn, skipping the line to the bar to grab their drinks from the extra coolers we’d stashed in the bed of my truck in case we ran out. Coming back around the corner, I ran into Lauren.

  “Hey.” She smiled tentatively at me.

  “Lauren.” I gave her a nod. “How are you?”

  “Good. Actually, I was hoping to see you here.”

  Shit. My whole body tensed. Surely, she wasn’t still holding onto any hope we’d be together. I thought I made that pretty clear earlier this summer. I straight up told her there wasn’t even a slim chance.

  “Don’t worry.” A knowing smile curled up her lips. “I already know what you’re thinking. I meant as friends. I was hoping to see you here as a friend. You know, just to catch up and see how things were going. I hadn’t seen you out much, lately.”

  I nodded while the two cans of beer started to sweat in my hands. “Sounds good.” I held up the drinks. “We’ll catch up later. Need to get these to Tucker and Lottie before they’re no longer cold.”

  “Of course, I’ll find you later.”

  I had no doubt she would. I gave her a terse smile before sidestepping around her.

  She’d made good on her promise a few hours later, tapping me on the shoulder where I sat at a table with all my friends.

  Glancing over my back at her, she smiled. “Take me for a spin on the dance floor?”

  When I hesitated, she added, “Just as friends,” her smile huge and her eyes full of hope.

  I heard Leighton annoyingly clear her throat to gain my attention. Fed up with my sister’s constant meddling in my personal life, I nodded with a smile at Lauren.

  “Love to.”

  I took her hand as I stood, pulling her onto the dance floor and into my arms.

  17

  HANNAH

  Checking my makeup in the visor mirror one more time, I blew out a breath. My stomach was already doing flips like a trapeze artist with the thought of seeing Billy for the first time in months. I’d wanted to surprise him by showing up at Leighton and Aaron’s picnic where we first met one year ago.

  It’d been hard to keep it a secret, especially when he’d begged me for an hour last week to come, and I had to tell him no. I didn’t want him to think there was any chance of me making it. I hadn’t told anyone I was coming, afraid somehow it would get back to him, given the way people in Billingsley couldn’t keep their mouths closed.

  I had a hard time myself, keeping it a secret, when I’d heard the disappointment and resignation in his voice. It worried me that maybe he was having a change of heart. That maybe he was realizing whatever it was we were doing wasn’t worth it any longer. It’s why I’d wanted to see him and talk about maybe officially putting a name to us. I wasn’t sure how it’d all work. I just knew how I felt about him.

  I opened the rental car door and finally stepped out of the vehicle. Lights illuminated the barn, where the party was crowded and lively as a band played, the surrounding areas dark as I walked toward the party. My eyes immediately started scanning, anxious to find Billy and see the expression on his face when he saw me.

  I’d missed him like crazy lately. And I hated how I hadn’t been able to talk to him as much with my new job—the job I wasn’t as in love with as I’d hoped. The people at the company weren’t nearly as good to work with as the ones at my previous job. And my new boss was a grade-A asshole. But I’d told myself I’d hang in there for at least a year, giving it my all, hoping things would eventually get better. Or, at minimum, that it would give me the experience I needed to hopefully find something else.

  The music echoed through the air as I walked, nearing the party. I wiped my moist hands down my sides, my heart racing. I waited on the edge of the darkness, wanting to see him before he spotted me, scanning and scanning until my eyes finally landed on him. He was on the dance floor, holding another woman in his arms. Stumbling back a step, my chin trembled when I saw that woman was Lauren.

  My lungs constricted as I clawed at the painful tightness in my throat. I’d always known that something like this could happen, that we could only carry on for so long before someone got too lonely and moved on. With another few stumbles backwards, I watched the smile on his face as he laughed and danced with Lauren without a care in the world. She’d whispered something in his ear and his smile grew as he nodded his head.

  My phone rang in my pocket, and I pulled it out as I watched my heart crumbling in front of me. I answered it without thinking.

  “Hello.”

  “Hannah?”

  “Hey, Lottie.”

  “Hey. Where are you?”

  “Um—”

  “I swear I hear the music from the party through your phone?”

  “Uh. No. I, uh…” I spun on my heels, running back to my rental car. “It must just be some weird echo coming through on your end. You know how bad the service can be out there.”

  “Huh. Weird. Guess so. Hey, so I was just calling to see how you were doing. We hadn’t talked in a while and…well I know tonight…”

  Sliding into the driver’s seat, I choked on a sob. “I’m fine,” I lied, closing the door and starting the car.

  “Hannah?”

 
God, this had been a stupid idea. I don’t know what I’d been thinking, believing somehow we could make this work. Why would he want to when he had Lauren—among others, I was sure of it—to keep his bed warm at night? I threw the car in reverse, peeling out as I flipped it around on the dirt road.

  “Hannah?” Lottie said my name again, the concern in her voice increasing. “Where did you say you were?”

  I swallowed hard, doing my best to sound normal. “Headed to the airport.”

  18

  BILLY

  “Holy! Fuck!”

  What the hell?

  My eyes flew open and I shot upward with the shock of cold ice water hitting me, waking me with a start. I rubbed at my eyes, finding a pissed-off Leighton standing over me with one hand on her hip and an empty cup in the other.

  “What is your damn problem? And how the hell did you get in here?”

  “Tucker gave me the spare key. And don’t you dare start with me.” She glared, pointing the empty cup my direction.

  “It’s too early for your shit, Leighton. Get out of my house,” I demanded as I crawled out of my bed shucking the wet shirt—thanks to my bratty little sister—I’d fallen asleep in. My head was pounding. I’d drank way too much last night, hitting the liquor bottle when I’d tried repeatedly to call Hannah, with no luck. I must’ve passed out on the bed, still in my clothes.

  I wanted so badly to at least speak to her if we couldn’t be together last night. Maybe I was the only one who felt like the night had some sort of significance for us. I walked into my bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet in search of some kind of pain reliever for my headache. Leighton was hot on my heels, ignoring my demand for her to leave. Finding what I was looking for, I popped two pills in my mouth.

  “You’re an idiot.”

  “Shit, Leighton. Seriously. Leave. Whatever this is about can wait until later. I’m not in the mood.” I splashed water on my face before turning and forcing her out of the bathroom. I closed the door and locked it.