Kiss and Burn

by Nikki Winter

  As “I love, you love” began to stream through the reception hall’s speakers, Carmen watched Makaio hold out his hand for his wife, walking backwards as he led her to the dance floor. Addison melted into him, placing her forehead to his shoulder while he played with the backless cut of her simple, elegant gown. Her train trailed slightly when they moved together and Carmen found it hard to breathe. It was staggering to realize that someone you loved so much, had found someone else who could love them differently and sometimes better. It was staggering to realize how badly she wanted that for herself.

  The feel of fingers curling around her waist drew her eyes from the couple towards the man who’d come to stand beside her.

  Eli nodded to where others were beginning to join the newlyweds. “Dance with me?”

  Standing straight, she followed him to the floor and curved her arms around his shoulders while he placed his hands low on her waist, making sure the only space between them consisted of their clothing.

  “They really did it,” he whispered. “They really got married.”

  She cleared her throat. “Yeah.”

  “I mean, we all knew it was coming, bound to happen eventually but I’m still a little… You know?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Who would’ve thought…?”

  Carmen tilted her head slightly and stared just over his shoulder. “Yeah.”

  She truly had no idea how much longer she could stay molded to him, his hand running down her back, his thumb stroking her hip tenderly, while they swayed in sync to music centered on finding the one and not lose her shit. God, she’d been a fucking idiot to think she could actually do this; spend time with him and him alone. Laughing, breathing each other’s air, and enjoying just being had been a recipe for disaster from the start. Somehow she’d foolishly made herself believe that Elijah Aaronson, a man who prided himself on his ability to have any woman he wanted, would suddenly want just one.

  He’d hinted at their continuing to see each other when they got back to Santa Fe, had mentioned coming to Mexico again, had even told her she was more than welcome to spend the night at his place should she need to, but that only told her how much he’d enjoyed having sex with her in every strange place they could think of. It didn’t give her even the slightest clue as to what he really wanted. So, she’d decided to stop wondering, stop thinking, stop questioning and just lay it to rest. Romantic declarations of love she would not get.

  “We can go for a walk on the beach when those two slip out,” Eli commented, resting his chin on top of her head. “Unless you want to change first. I love this dress on you but there’s a possibility it could get ruined.”

  Carmen snorted. “Haven’t we done it on the beach already?”

  He drew backwards and frowned. “Done it?” Realization dawned on his face. “I wasn’t talking about sex. I meant an actual walk. When two people hold hands and talk.”

  Her lashes lowered as she slid a hand down his chest. “Why? We can just go back to the hotel room and—”

  Eli caught her wrist. “Why do you do that?”

  She looked back up, tugging her hand away at his scowl. “Do what?”

  “Reduce everything to sex? Believe me when I say I enjoy it—every minute of it—but I like to do other things with you too.”

  “And they all lead to sex so why waste time?”

  A muscle in his jaw leapt. He watched her for a moment as their movements ceased. “Why are you doing this?”

  “Doing what?” she challenged. “Being honest? We like fucking each other.”

  He looked away from her. “Is that all you like, Carmen?”

  She didn’t respond.

  “Is it?” Eli pressed.

  “Don’t,” Carmen told him.

  “No, I want to know. Is my bending you over and sticking my dick in you, all you like about me?”

  She pushed at his shoulders but he wouldn’t release her. “Grow up.”

  “Me?” he bit out. “I should grow up? You’re playing this fucking ‘I want you but I won’t tell you that’ game and I need to grow up?”

  “Yes,” she snarled, digging her nails into his forearm. “The only reason you’re so bothered is because you want to be the only one detached here. You want me to fall and plead and beg and chase you because that’s what you’re used to. You want me ruined.”

  He slowly shook his head. “You can’t be that fucking dense.”

  Carmen tried to pull away again but he wouldn’t release her. “Let go of me.” If he didn’t she might tell him. Tell him that he had ruined her and only after a short amount of time. Tell him that she did want to fall and plead and beg and chase him.

  “Stop it, dammit,” he growled, jostling her. “I’m not the detached one here. It’s you. You, Carmen. That’s why you were always opposed to us getting involved. You felt like it would leave you vulnerable and now that’s no longer necessarily an option so you’re placing things in the context of not expecting much to come from what happens from our time here.” Eli locked eyes with her. “You’re purposely avoiding any chance of intimacy. That’s the reason you agreed to this. Because you believe that if we fuck just enough, I’ll lose interest and you’ll feel justified. Then you’ll be well within your rights to walk away from me like nothing ever happened.”

  She froze.

  “I’m not stupid and I’m not oblivious, sweetheart. I’ve taken note of every nuance about you whether you believe it or not,” Eli continued. “You can cling to the expectation of hurt and heartbreak but remember you’re not the only person with feelings here. I have them too. Either you’re incredibly low in self-confidence or you really believe I’m a substance lacking, pussy hound who can stroll away from this undamaged and unbothered.” He angled forward until their noses touched. “I love you but I won’t let you pigeonhole me when I have done nothing to deserve it. My attention, my focus and my time has been spent on you while it’s becoming perfectly clear that yours has been spent on how much of a dick you think I am. ”

  With that, he finally let her go. “If anyone asks, I’m going to get drunk on the beach like any self-respecting man would do in this situation and try not to drown.”

  She watched him walk away from her, snagging a bottle of bourbon from the bar on his way out the door. Carmen looked about to find several pairs of eyes on her. Addison’s included.

  “Go after him,” her friend mouthed.

  He’d said he loved her. Elijah Aaronson had said he loved her.

  “Go,” Angelina said shoving Carmen towards the door. “I want nietos and you will not stand in my way!”

  Carmen stumbled forward. He loved her. She decided then to get ready to enjoy the taste of humble pie because God knew she would be eating plenty of it.

  ***

  Eli’s throat burned but he’d be damned if he gave up the one thing that was stopping him from going back into the reception hall, throwing Carmen over his shoulder like he had days ago and fucking the truth out of her. She had to be out of her goddamn mind if she honestly thought she was the only one who felt something between the two of them.

  A sound of disgust left him. “Oh Eli, your genitals are great. You? Not so much…” he mocked in a high pitched tone.

  No one was around to hear said mocking though. He’d trudged through the water until he found a grouping of rocks and made himself comfortable on a boulder, his pants rolled up. His shirt, tie and jacket were all forgotten on the shore. He’d paid a pretty penny for the suit and couldn’t care less if the pieces wound up being carted off by some freaky creature living in the sand.

  He was annoyed. Annoyed and in love and really fucking annoyed that he was in love. And who did he have to blame for all of this? Carmen! He blamed her for everything! For being so goddamn engaging, so goddamn intelligent, so goddamn funny and gorgeous and lovely and all the shit her character had developed over thirty odd years, preparing her to trap someone like his poor, poor soul into adoring her.

  Eli
took a long swallow from his pilfered alcohol but nothing made that annoyance fade, disappear.

  “Love is bullshit,” he muttered, beginning to feel a nice buzz. “It’s all bullshit.”

  A few splashes sounded off to the left of him and he turned towards the noise. Ah and there she was, the source of his angst. Standing in knee deep water, her perfect dress with its perfect capri blue color molding to perfect skin that shouldn’t have been so fucking perfect!

  He pointed a damning finger at her. “Your fault. Your. Fault.”

  Carmen blinked up at him, rouge painted lips twitching; her curled lashes fanning. “I know.”

  “I wouldn’t even be here right now if it wasn’t for you,” he went on.

  “I know.”

  “Do you have any idea how hard it is to admit to yourself when you’ve fallen for another person? It’s pretty fucking hard.”

  “I know.”

  “I want to punch things! A lot! Mostly Maikao because he was right but I didn’t listen and now he’s going to gloat!”

  “I know.”

  “I’m not an idiot, Carmen. I’m well aware of why I’d be the last person on your list to commit to. I can be immature and inappropriate and stubborn and ridiculous.”

  She was smiling now. “I know.”

  “I think with my dick at times but that’s only because Barrington gives really good advice.”

  “I know.”

  “And he’s been concentrating on you! Only you! He won’t even look anywhere else and believe me, baby, I tried.”

  “I know.”

  “I’m not the greatest romantic but I fucking listen when you talk. No I don’t see myself being anything other than a firemen ‘til the day that I die but I have a retirement plan and a down payment for a house put away. I can’t say that I won’t teach my kids tasteless jokes and useless tricks but they’d want for nothing. And yes, sometimes I’m an ass but I’m an ass with a big heart so that puts me ahead of the rest.”

  “I know.”

  “And would you stop saying ‘I know’ and say something else?” he pushed. “I know you know! Tell me something I don’t know!”

  She placed her hands to the boulder and leaned forward. “I love you too.”

  Eli had to open his mouth twice before words would actually come out. “What?”

  Carmen held his gaze and said again, “I. Love. You. Too.”

  He waited a beat and then the bottle was gone from his grasp, crashing into the waves and being carried away. Off the rock in a manner of seconds, he hauled her into his chest and commanded, “Tell me again.”

  Before she could open her mouth and repeat it though, he was snatching the words from her lips with his own, sucking down her gasp and ravaging her mouth, only pulling back when they needed to breathe.

  He pressed his forehead to her temple. “You won’t regret this.”

  She ran her fingers down his jaw and simply told him, “I know.”

  Epilogue

  “Are we supposed to be doing this in here?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Yes if it means the detriment of my soul.”

  “We’re married, I don’t think the Lord frowns upon married couples enjoying a bit of physical love.”

  Carmen stopped in the midst of undoing her husband’s dress shirt. “Physical love? Could you have made that sound any worse?”

  “Yes,” he answered, moving back to pull her panties down her legs. “I could’ve said holy copulation.”

  She slapped at his shoulders. “Don’t use those words.”

  He leered as he rose and undid his belt. “I can’t say what I’m thinking. We are still in the Lord’s house.”

  Pushing his trousers and boxers past his hips, she looked down. “That does not look, in anyway, righteous or saintly, Mr. Aaronson.”

  Eli pushed her back into the closet’s wall and hooked her thigh over his hip. “Neither is what someone will see me doing to you should they open that door, Mrs. Aaronson.”

  God, she loved the sound of that. Loved the sound of the little growl that left his throat as he worked himself into her. Married. They’d gotten married. A few short hours ago she’d promised to love and obey a man who’d argued the merits of leaving the toilet seat up on more than one occasion. Just a year after the union of their best friends, they’d come back to where it had all begun for them to say their own “I do’s” in a small chapel with the people they loved the most surrounding them. One of those people was heavily pregnant and had become a stringent task master during this entire process—which was why Eli and Carmen had slipped out of the reception the moment Addison’s back was turned.

  This was by no means the best place consummate their marriage being that the Good Lord could strike them dead at any moment for defiling his home but the second Eli locked her legs over the crooks of his arms and almost made her swallow her tongue, Carmen couldn’t be bothered to care. She’d been so afraid of this, so afraid of never knowing what it was to be wrapped up in a person completely that she’d almost missed out on this incredible, hilarious, ridiculous man who gave her belly aching laughs and made her burnt pancakes because he remembered that she enjoyed having others cook for her sometimes.

  He fulfilled every need she had and when he couldn’t he found something else that would. Eli was… he just was. It was inexplicable and frightening and all those things romantic comedies told you love as supposed to be. He had ruined her but in the best of ways. Every morning that she got to roll over just to catch his leering face, every night that she went to sleep with him poking her in the lower back and going, “Hey, I wasn’t done” made her realize how wonderfully she had it. He was the love girls dreamed about, writing angsty diary poetry. He was the man she’d been waiting for. He was the reason she burned.

  Their day had gone perfectly, her mother had walked her down the aisle and his parents had been nothing less than absolutely adorable when they asked that a small ritual typical to Jewish weddings be implemented, despite the fact that their son wasn’t an avid follower and Carmen was Catholic. And now she got to spend the rest of her life in a perpetual fantasy.

  “Love you,” Eli rasped, pounding into her until she bit down on his shoulder.

  Carmen lifted her mouth and pressed a hard kiss to his. “Love you back.” Then she put her lips to his ear and demanded, “Elijah, fuck me. Make me scream.”

  He did and Carmen had a moment where she thought to herself, “Heh. His hips do move rather well on command.”

  The End

  Nikki Winter

  When Nikki wrote her first story in the tenth grade with the help of a pen, three packs of correction tape and a small, completely non-creepy obsession with cowboys, she knew she was destined for greatness. Now if she could just convince everyone else...

  Her days were spent guarding her notebooks with her life, and her nights were spent continuing a love affair with insomnia. Eventually, just a bit disgusted with the traditional love story, she took a dive into the deep waters of romance with a not-so-gentle or subtle push by a beloved mentor.

  These days she's taken the time to polish what she refers to as her "writing superiority." She hopes that the tales she creates will grab the reader's attention, and make them devoted slaves to her will...er, fans.

  If you want to let her know just how absolutely, positively awesome she is, you can always e-mail her at nikkiwinter19@gmail.com, friend her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/nikkiwinter19, check out her works in progress at nikkiwinter.com or follow her at @Pyro_Nikki on Twitter.

 

 

 
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