Between Before and After
Page 23
“Look, I’m sorry about that,” Finn said quickly. “I was out of line, I know that. It came out wrong.”
Gavin shook his head. “No, I think you were right.”
Finn frowned at him, as the fire hissed and popped between them.
“I guess we don’t talk about how selfish he was because, really, he wasn’t – not in general. He just made that one stupid mistake, and I don’t think he was in his right mind when he did that. Apart from that, he was probably one of the most generous people I’ve ever known.”
Finn’s gaze fell to the fire, searching it’s depths as if the answers lay within.
“You’re right,” Kate said quietly, reaching over for Finn’s hand. “He was generous, in pretty much every way possible.”
“He was a good person,” Lacey said. “He just did something really stupid. That doesn’t make him anything except human, just like the rest of us. I suppose it’s just easier to remember the good times, because that’s the kind of person he really was. What he was going through towards the end, that wasn’t really him.”
Finn stopped studying the fire and looked over at them. “Yeah, you’re right – and I’m sorry.”
Kate offered him the marshmallow she had just toasted. He hesitated for a moment, then took the sugary, gooey mess off the end of the twig and popped it into his mouth.
“While we’re apologising here,” Max said, “I just want to say I’m sorry, too – for the whole gun thing.”
“Let’s put it all in the past, where it belongs,” Gavin said, raising his mug of coffee. “Okay? Onward and upward.”
Max nodded.
“You’re gonna be okay,” Lacey added, smiling. “We’ll be right there, from now on.”
Gavin slipped an arm around her ribs and pulled her closer. “And on that note, I’d like to propose a toast,” he said, watching as the others also raised their mugs. “To Danny. Wherever you are, we miss you, mate.”
They held their coffee mugs aloft, the fire hissing between them, lighting up the darkness.
“To Danny,” they intoned sombrely.
Ignoring the lump in his throat, Gavin kissed Lacey’s forehead.
“And to all of us,” Kate added quietly. “For sticking together and making it this far.”
Finn glanced over at her before raising his mug again. “To the future, and whatever it may hold.”
She smiled at him, clearly emotional.
“To the future,” Lacey’s arm curled around Gavin’s back.
“To all of you,” Max said hesitantly, glancing around at each of them. “I wouldn’t be here without you guys.”
Kate leaned over and reached for his hand. “No need to thank us for that. That’s what friends are for.”
“Didn’t someone famous say that?” Gavin smirked, trying to lighten the mood.
“It was a song,” Finn said, raising his mug. “Stevie Wonder sang it.”
“I think you’ll find it was Dionne Warwick.”
“Stevie Wonder!” Finn insisted.
“Whatever.” Kate smiled. “Doesn’t matter who sang it, or said it. Only matters that it’s true, right?”
Gavin nodded graciously. “Right.”
“To us, then.” Finn winked at Max. “For being awesome.”
“Can’t argue with that.”
“To us.” Kate smiled up at him.
About the Author
Amanda Dick is a night-owl, coffee addict, movie buff and music lover. She also writes.
She is rather partial to dark chocolate and believes in the power of a good vanilla latte. She has a passion for the colour green (particularly in clothes and gemstones) and insists there is nothing sexier than a man in a kilt.
She spent several months traveling around Europe in her late 20’s (there’s a story there – she’ll get around to writing it one day). After ridding herself of her wanderlust, she met the love of her life (while working to pay off said wanderlust) in Edinburgh, Scotland. They moved in together the week after their first date – so yes, she believes in love at first sight. She also believes in women’s intuition and following your heart.
She writes on her trusty laptop, predominantly late at night, when it’s quiet and interruptions are few. Most of all, she enjoys writing about human behaviour – love, loss, joy, grief, friendship and relationships in general. She loves to put normal, everyday people into situations that will test their boundaries. She is passionately curious about how we, as human beings, react when pushed to the edge.
After living in Scotland for five years, she now lives back home in her native New Zealand with her husband and two children.
Her debut novel, “Absolution”, was released in October 2013. “Between Before and After” is her second novel.
Thanks for reading! Please consider leaving a review at the online retailer you purchased this ebook from!
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Acknowledgements
This story is not based on fact, however the idea for it came from the suicide of a close friend of my husband’s. It made me look at life differently. Suicide is such a messy event – not for the person committing it, but for those he or she leaves behind. So this story is for all of those affected by the suicide of a loved one. You are not alone. To anyone having suicidal thoughts – please, seek help. Reach out to someone. Talk about it. Save a life – your own. You’re worth it, whether you believe you are or not.
Thank you to my husband, Willie, for wearing his heart on his sleeve. Thank you for letting me in and trusting me. I love you all the more for it. Thank you for bearing with me when I zone out, and for making dinner and dragging me away from my laptop to eat it. Thanks for humouring me and for listening to me when I have an attack of the self-doubts. Without your love and support, this story would still be buried somewhere on my hard-drive.
To my wonderful, patient and inspirational children, Georgia and Cameron – keep being the amazing human beings you are. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to believe I am really lucky enough to have kids as incredible as the two of you really are.
My amazing beta readers, Tara Horak and Danielle Lewandowski, I can’t truly express how honoured I was to have you so enthusiastically read this for me. Your feedback was superb – honest, straight to the point, and above and beyond what I expected. Without a doubt, you made this story better and you have my never-ending gratitude for that.
Thank you to Sarah Widdup from Irrefutable Proof, my Editor Extraordinaire. You picked up things that sailed past the three of us combined, and you made suggestions that told me you not only respected what I was trying to achieve here, but you wanted to make sure I did it to the best of my ability. You made the process fun and enlightening - let’s do it all again soon!
My amazing Facebook support group (my “inner sanctum”) – thank you all! You’ve all been incredibly supportive – you sat through my mood swings and my cry-baby “I can’t do it!” moaning, you gave me valuable feedback on everything from the number and nature of “acceptable” swear words in a work of contemporary fiction to whether or not the book needed a warning. You were my collective sounding board and your loyalty and support has been unwavering. I can’t tell you how many times you picked me up off the ground and got me to sit back down at my laptop and just get on with it.
Big thanks to the amazing Anita B. Carroll at Race-Point.com for this incredible cover! Your generosity and dedication has been noted and I’m afraid I’m going to be a lifetime client. I hope you’re ready for that!
Thank you to all the readers and bloggers from all over the world who loved “Absolution” and who flocked to say hello and support me. It really means so much – I hope you’ll stick around a little longer.
Playlist
Black and Blue – Counting Crows
Gone Too Soon – Daughtry
Firefly – Atlas
The Thief – Brooke Fraser
Trouble – Coldplay
Prelude To A Kiss – Alicia Keys
The Otherside – Breaks Co-Op
Wish You Were Here – Pink Floyd
Autumn – Paolo Nutini
I’ll Be Waiting – Adele
Future Days – Pearl Jam
All I Want Is You – U2
When The War Is Over – Cold Chisel
Rescue Me – Daughtry
Why Do They Leave? – Ryan Adams
Easy Tonight – Five For Fighting
Longing To Belong – Eddie Vedder