While not everyone cares to play poker and risk losing their hard-earned cash on obscure tells, we all do essentially the same thing many times in our lives. Especially when seeking a mate.
One of the interesting lines from the world of dating is lip service. This two-word phrase aptly sums up how people perform for one another, when someone does not wish to reveal a hidden agenda or personal flaw.
A part of the courtship ritual is to observe people over a period to see if they are as genuine as they appear to be, so you may determine whether they are who they present themselves to be.
Some people are very adept at pretending and can project a poker face of sincerity, excitement, honesty, or whatever quality they see as being desirable in your eyes. The goal is to lull you into a sense of confidence in the manner of person they act out for you. It is all too effective for those who willingly ignore the tells in deference to their desires.
If one is able to control one's own desires by seeking true needs, the easiest way to recognize the poker face tells of a pretender is through the observation of spontaneity.
People who are genuine about who they are and their intentions tend to be naturally spontaneous. When they do something, it is who they are. Good or bad, it is an honest tell of character.
However, those who are putting on an act must hesitate when encountering an unfamiliar situation. If you pay attention to a pretender, and listen with your eyes, you will see them hesitate for just a moment as they conjure a new script in their minds to be consistent with the persona they wish to project.
Things become truly difficult when a pretender has a polished poker face, and is therefore difficult to understand. This is when you provoke a tell. Since women are much better at this than men are, let's use an example of a woman who is being courted by a highly skilled pretender.
The two are dining together in a fine restaurant and the woman excuses herself for a moment to visit the powder room. Out of the pretender's sight, she pays the waiter a handsome tip to accidentally spill an urn of hot coffee on the man's lap and then appear as if he does not care.
The waiter waits for his cue after the woman returns to the table and draws the pretender into a serious and distracting conversation. Upon her agreed signal, the waiter walks by the table and spills the urn of hot coffee on the man's lap.
Outraged, the man jumps to his feet and brutally scolds the waiter in an ungracious and mean-spirited manner. The woman now knows what she really has, and cuts her losses short right there and then. Like the old gambler says, you got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em.
However, face-to-face meetings are not always possible. So then, let's assume you must vet a possible pretender relying not via a long distance voice communication, but solely upon the written word.
The Language of Pretense
The written word offers pretenders a marvelous way to beguile the willing. Assume you are a woman corresponding via E-mail with a charming fellow who sends you his photo, no doubt scanned from a recent issue of Gentleman's Quarterly. He then proceeds to tell you that he is rich and seeking the love of his life. In reality, he could be something else. Or as publisher love to remind us, never judge a book by it's cover.
So then, pretend you were to show up at your parent's house with Mr. X on your first date, with blind romance in your eyes. As the two of you leave, your father leans over and politely whispers in your ear, Sweetheart, your Mother and I will be happy to pay for your therapy. Just please go before making any further decisions.
The classic example of how someone can be wooed with language is the book, Cyrano de Bergerac, by Edmond Rostand. Set in the year 1640, Cyrano de Bergerac is a brilliant poet and capable swordsman who falls deeply in love with his beautiful, intellectual cousin Roxanne. Poor Cyrano is a tragic figure because he is intellectually blessed with a gift for romantic language and physically cursed with a nose the size of a jackhammer.
In the book, he speaks to her through letters and from the concealment of shrubbery and by words alone he touches Roxanne's heart in the most eloquent way. In a very tragic sense, it highlights the evolutionary forces that helped humankind shape its ability to communicate through speech and the written word. In a very beautiful sense, it conveys an understanding of how effectively we can communicate, with touching sincerity and without being seen.
What makes Cyrano effective as a communicator is the very same thing that makes us admire gifted minds like that of William Shakespeare. They are able to transcend the two-dimensionality of language. What does that really mean?
When we go to the movies, we usually see a two-dimensional film projected on our theater screen. However, sometimes we opt for one of those marvelous 3-D films where we must first don the red and blue tinted glasses used to fool our gift of sight into thinking that we're witnessing a 3-D event. This way, the dinosaur that chomps at us seems to leap out at us from the screen with toothy jaws agape in such a vivid manner that we instinctively recoil from the sight.
In their day, writers like Rostand and Shakespeare were able to craft words so well that they could create a three-dimensional perception of what has always been a two-dimensional medium. Within the differences between the second and third dimension lay their gifts, and for this reason, they are regarded as timeless works of human brilliance. What also makes them timeless is that they are honest expressions of the human condition.
However, Rostand and Shakespeare are not the only men seeking to convey honest emotions through words. There are also men in uniform on far-flung shores in harm's way. They struggle as they write to their wives and sweethearts, letters which convey their undying love and hope. Unlike Rostand and Shakespeare for whom an exquisite turn of phrase is a relatively simple thing, they struggle to find the right words to express their feelings, hopes and cares and in the right way.
Likewise, their wives and sweethearts reply with words to express their own longing and hopes in a way that will give their men the hope and courage to survive and return home to their waiting embrace. These are honest letters, as are the Dear John letters that say, I cannot honestly wait for you any more.
In the books of Rostand and Shakespeare, we see honest examples of God's gift to us of language. In the letters between soldiers and sweethearts, we can see the common honesty of this gift that is there for all of us to see in each aspect of our own lives.
The point here is that a pretender can use the written word to touch your desires, fears and emotions-but not your soul. That is, if you are truly aware of your spiritual self.
Herein lies the greatest gift of Indigo Children. Not only are they savvy enough to listen with their eyes, they also possess the unquestionable sense-of-self needed by those who rely upon their spiritual self to be the final arbiters of honesty with messages that posses a third dimension.
* * *
Knowing When to Be Vulnerable
In the previous chapter, we used the analogy of how gamblers rely on tells as way of listening with their eyes. In most cases, the tells are easy to spot for the trained eye, but when faced with a savvy player with a polished poker face you must provoke the tell. So what if you find yourself face-to-face with an extraterrestrial and you're unable to spot a tell no matter what you do?
If you're a gambler facing another poker player, you've met your match. The question is, will your ego get in the way of that conclusion? If your ego will not let you admit to yourself that you're vulnerable, you're almost sure to lose everything as you try to overcompensate for your inadequacies.
However, if you're a seasoned poker player who plays for profit, your ego will not stop you from cutting you're losses short. With a polite nod and a wink, you'll graciously gather up what is left of your chips and move on. A pithy bit of wisdom best expressed by a lyric from Kenny Rogers’ song, The Gambler:
You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
Now let's put
a twist in our gambler analogy and assume that you're an Indigo sitting at the playing table and across from you is an extraterrestrial being with a perfect poker face. No tells, not even those you can provoke. Do you hold, fold, or run away?
To answer that question, we need an entirely new analogy.
Be the Whale
Imagine that you are a humpback whale migrating along your time-honored path alongside the California coastline. In the waters about you, three manmade ships follow at close range.
As you come up for a breath of air, you see the first ship and sense kind and compassionate beings standing upon its deck. As you turn, you see them photographing you, hoping for a great picture of your fluke as you dive.
You know they mean you no harm and that they treasure your existence. You also sense that if you swim close enough, they'll eagerly reach out to touch you and to further celebrate your life. An experience they'll treasure and share with others for the remainder of their lives. Taking another breath, you dive wondering if you should come close.
As you rise up for your next breath of air, you feel the ominous presence of a dark, rusty and travel-worn vessel from a foreign land where brutal, unthinking exploitation is an everyday fact of life.
Upon the decks of this foreboding craft are a haggard few, who greedily spy upon your massive body and dream of the handsome profits they'll receive after rendering your body into perfume base, lubricants, and other commercially viable products. Rolling to one side, you see one standing behind a massive harpoon gun. He has you in his sights and the cold indifference you see in his eyes saddens you.
But, before he can fire, an amazing thing happens.
A third ship suddenly appears and races between you and the harpooner. The beings on this third ship shout angry words at those standing upon the deck of the whaler, while placing themselves in harm's way on your behalf.
Having lost the shot and keen to the embarrassment of media attention they're getting from the first ship with its whale watchers, the exploiters choose to sail away. You're not the only whale in the ocean and they'll easily find another victim. Without the interference of well-wishers and tourists snapping photos, they'll drive a viciously barbed harpoon through the body of another whale, and only the people who write the checks will know.
The point of this analogy is to understand that when encountering an extraterrestrial race face-to-face for the first time, we are every bit as vulnerable to their technology, as the whales of our own world are vulnerable to our own.
In the short term, you are vulnerable to technology. However, in the long term, the fate of your entire species will be vulnerable to their intentions, and therein lies the difference between our greatest dangers and our greatest hopes. Moreover, navigating the problematic waters of this crucial difference will require gifts that transcend those imbued within the common man. Gifts that cannot be acquired for money or legislated into existence.
Somewhere between danger and the hope of full contact with other species, lies an unknown so immense it dwarfs human thought. Nonetheless, uninformed deductions can still serve a useful purpose as points-of-reference, provided they are acknowledged as such. No matter how valid or invalid these assumptions turn out to be, they can still serve as handy points-of-reference for future encounters with the unknowable.
After all, if you must go to a gunfight with nothing more than a knife, having a knife is better than having nothing at all. Or is it? Wouldn't it be a bit handier to have a good idea of whom you're about to mix it up with, before you commit yourself?
Different Kinds of Races
In contrast to other species, our technology and sociology can be worlds apart and certainly inferior, but what shall set us apart will be our intentions-theirs and ours. In this regard, let's use humankind as a model for what we might expect when encountering extraterrestrial races.
Within our own species, our intentions presently divide us into three basic categories: mentor, parent, and exploiter.
The smallest minority of humankind are mentors.
In the eyes of a mentor, it is an honor to teach and a greater honor to mentor, but the greatest honor is to learn. Therefore, they feel a deep personal responsibility for the human dignity of those they agree to mentor.
For this reason, the learner must be vulnerable to the mentor, and this vulnerability can only exist when the learner perceives the intentions of the mentor to be noble and true. It is within this mentoring relationship framework, that humankind can explore its greatest hopes with older, nobler races.
After the small minority mentor group, there is a larger minority group who see themselves in a parental role. In the societies of humankind, parental groups pursue noble aspirations, but often with mixed results.
In 2003, massive, wind-whipped fires devastated Southern California. In what many saw as a harbinger event of global warming, the fire took lives, leveled homes and business, and laid waste to huge tracts of land. In the aftermath of that fire, the answer to the question of why was most revealing. The reason for the massive extent of the fire was the abundance of dry fuel, which was a direct result of successful legal actions by environmental groups in the courts.
The problem was that courts could only decide on who wins; ergo the courts were not the right place to seek a vital balance between forestry and environmental interests. In the absence of a balance point during the Southern Californian devastation, it was not only the raging fires that took human lives, but the mudslides that occurred afterwards as well.
While the forestry experts and environmental activists felt great sympathy for this tragic loss of life, neither would accept responsibility because their agendas were more important to them than the lives lost. To admit responsibility would mean having to abandon a dearly guarded agenda, which is an unacceptable price if the goal is to move your agenda forward at any cost.
The key thing to remember about parental groups is that they choose to protect beings, habits, or whatever they focus their minds upon from what they perceive as being exploitation. This is why they are usually loath to accept responsibility for their failures. Ergo, when accepting help from a parental group, always remember the following axiom, It may be their fault, but it will always be your responsibility. Never lose sight of this in your dealings with parental groups and you will win more often than you lose.
Following the mentor and parental minority categories is the majority of humankind, the third category.
This majority category is comprised of two sub-groups: lesser exploiters and greater exploiters. Lesser exploiters moderate their actions so as to appear that they're pursuing a benevolent or understandable goal. Greater exploiters are only concerned with their own needs and are wholly indifferent to those whom they exploit.
Now let's use the various human groups we've defined as a basis for proceeding with mentor, parent, and exploiter extraterrestrial races via an adaptation of The Gambler.
+ You got to know when to hold ‘em, (Mentor races)
+ Know when to fold ‘em, (Parental races)
+ Know when to walk away (Lesser exploiter races)
+ And know when to run. (Greater exploiters races)
The obvious strategy when dealing with extraterrestrial races is to avoid any exploiter, stay at arm's length from parental types, and seek out the mentor. This is because you can only afford to be vulnerable with a mentor. In this regard, Indigos are keys to our survival, partly because of their enhanced natural sensitivity to vibratory signals.
Tuning In to Vibrations
We often hear slang phrases such as I dig your vibes, You give off good vibrations, and, I'm getting a bad vibe about this. In fact, this popular slang does a very good job of describing our abilities to sense a distinctive emotional aura or atmosphere.
All humans are all born with this intuitive view of the world, and it is something we've come to expect from our pets as well.
How often have you heard someone comment that while their dog will bark
at everyone, for some odd reason, the mutt takes a sudden liking to a complete stranger? It is because the dog instinctively senses a distinctive emotional aura, which is harmonious and friendly, emanating from the stranger. The distinctive emotional aura of the stranger tells the animal that it is OK to be vulnerable, at least, with this particular being and only during this particular meeting.
Young children, like animals, are more in tune with these vibrations because they accept the world at face value. It is only through the process of becoming acculturated in the Western model that they become de-tuned. Other civilizations and cultures though, work to enhance this natural ability.
As we in the West mature, we learn (or are taught) to discriminate based on gross perceptions and prejudices. Consequently, our ability to tune in to individual vibrations becomes dulled, and reading one another's vibrations becomes even more difficult as we grow older.
To help visualize this process, imagine that you're sitting before a fifty-year-old multiband shortwave radio. The kind with the massive round tuning knob in the middle of the set.
As we begin searching for that right sound (or vibration), we switch to the first shortwave band and turn the tuning knob as far as it will go to the left. Then, we slowly begin our search by turning the tuning knob from left to right on each subsequent radio band.
Along the way, we hear the noise of empty space and other meaningless sounds and then come upon a frequency that offers a loud and clear signal. While it is not the sound we've been searching for, it is nonetheless loud and clear and a refreshing change from the noise we've heard so far.
In terms of a relationship, this is what happens when you meet someone who is not right for you. While the signal is honest in its clarity, it is not the signal you're looking for, nor is it the one you need.
How many times have you seen people loiter on frequencies like this in the hope that, either it will change to something pleasing or that they will someday come to like it, as much as that which they sought in the first place? Of course, neither happens. The tune never changes, and it never is exactly what you were looking for in the first place.
Indigo-E.T. Connection Page 6