Forbidden

by Jess Michaels

  Her mother smiled faintly. “You needn’t, for I think I understand.”

  “But there is nothing that can be done.” Audrey’s voice sounded flat even to her own ears.

  Her mother wrinkled her brow. “Why of course there is. We are not prisoners, Audrey.”

  “Are we not?” Audrey asked weakly, even though she tried to laugh.

  “Certainly not.” Lady Woodley folded her arms. “Some like to say the fairer sex has no options, but we always do. We just have to be creative in them.”

  Audrey shrugged. “Well, what would you suggest?”

  Her mother pondered the question for a moment before her eyes lit up. “You know they have started work on the changes at Briarlake Cross.”

  Briarlake Cross was a property in the possession of Audrey’s family for generations. It was only a day and a half’s ride from London. For years the family had discussed remodeling the manse to fit modern technology and design. Audrey blinked at what felt like the change of subject.

  “Have they?” she asked.

  “I would very much like to oversee the design of the rooms, especially the parlors.” Her mother frowned. “Your father’s mother was a lovely woman, God rest her soul, but she had a penchant for pink florals that made my head throb. I would like to see the house become far more sophisticated, especially since it will likely be my dower house now that Edward has remarried.”

  “I can understand your desire,” Audrey said carefully, still not fully understanding her mother’s attention to this subject.

  “Why don’t we go there together for a few weeks? It would be a nice break from the Season for us both.”

  Audrey took a long step toward her mother as she lifted her hands to her chest. She hadn’t fully admitted to herself just how much she wanted to escape London until this opportunity presented itself. Now she felt as though her mother had opened the door to her cage and was offering to set her free.

  “Truly?” she said with a smile so broad she felt it could split her cheeks. “Oh, that would be divine.”

  Her mother nodded, and she looked as relieved as Audrey felt. “It will be rejuvenating for us both.”

  The door to the parlor opened and Edward and Mary stepped in, interrupting their conversation.

  “Ah, Edward, Mary,” her mother said, pulling herself away from Audrey and toward their guests. She embraced them both one after another and smiled.

  “You two look very happy,” Edward said as he released his wife to cross to Audrey and briefly press a kiss to her cheek. “Are you plotting?”

  “The best plot in the world,” Lady Woodley admitted. “Audrey and I are going to make a little escape to Briarlake Cross for a few weeks and oversee some of the renovations being made there.”

  Mary tilted her head in question. “Briarlake Cross?”

  Audrey nodded. “My grandmother’s dower house. Oh, you should see it, Mary. It has the most beautiful bones in the world, but the design is…well, it is something to behold.”

  Mary laughed. “Bad enough to want to redecorate in the middle of the Season.”

  “It absolutely is,” Edward interjected with a shudder. Then he frowned. “Have they begun work on it already? I really have been remiss in my duties to this family, haven’t I?”

  Audrey felt her smile fade, and Mary and her mother’s faces also fell. She felt a kinship to her new sister-in-law at that moment. They all wanted Edward’s happiness, for him to retake his rightful place in their family.

  “You were busy,” Mary said gently. “I took a great deal of your time recently. But now things are settled between us and you are fully able to concentrate on your duties. I will help.”

  He nodded, looking down at her with nothing but love in his eyes. Audrey tensed at the sight of it, so pure and true. She only hoped her brother was also keeping his head even as he followed his heart.

  “You already do,” Edward reassured her with a gentle tap on his wife’s nose. He cleared his throat and then returned his attention to his mother. “Are you certain you want to be there while they work? It will be comfortable, of course, but not exactly as polished as you are accustomed to.”

  Their mother laughed. “Oh posh, I can handle a bit of dust. I would dearly love to be there.”

  He nodded. “Very well, I think a few weeks away would do you both good. But do me a favor, will you?”

  Audrey tilted her head. “A favor?”

  “Take Samson with you when you go,” Edward said. “He would be of great help to you in the process and he can keep me apprised of any difficulties that I can assist with.”

  “Oh course,” their mother said. “We would greatly welcome his company.”

  “Excellent,” Edward said, clapping his hands together. “I will mention it to him tonight when I see him.”

  Audrey said nothing, her body tensing even as the rest of them continued to discuss the house, the changes, their plans. Jude come with them? Oh, if only they knew that he was one of the main reasons for her distraction of late. He would be a temptation there with her. A forbidden piece of fruit she was not allowed to look at, let alone pluck. If she tried, he would probably laugh at her.

  But he would be busy with estate business anyway. It was unlikely she would see him overly much and with her mother in attendance they would never be alone. So it would be fine. Perfectly fine.

  “We have much to do,” her mother said, her laughing voice mercifully interrupting Audrey’s train of thought. “After our luncheon, we’ll both have to pack, Audrey. We’ll leave in a few days.”

  Audrey tried to center herself in the moment instead of allowing her mind to wander. “Yes, absolutely.”

  “Come, let us go to the dining room,” Edward said.

  Mary nodded. “Why don’t you escort your mother, Edward? I will walk with Audrey.”

  He smiled at her before he did as she suggested and took the dowager’s arm to lead her to the dining room. Mary hesitated a fraction before she took Audrey’s arm. As they walked, her new sister-in-law leaned in.

  “Audrey, is there anything I can do?”

  Audrey blinked. “Do? Do you mean in regards to the renovation?”

  Mary smiled. “No. I just…well…”

  As she trailed off, Audrey shook her head. “What is on your mind?”

  “Obviously I haven’t known you all that long and Mr. Samson only returned a few days before our wedding, so he is even more of a mystery to me, but I have noticed a closeness between you.”

  “He has always been a dear friend to the family, as well as under Edward’s employ,” she explained, hoping her voice didn’t reveal too much. “My brother would say the same.”

  “He does and has,” Mary agreed. “He tells me Mr. Samson is a bit like a brother, but…”

  “But?” Audrey pressed, her heart leaping into her throat for some reason.

  Mary’s came to a stop before the followed the others into the dining room and turned Audrey to face her. “I think perhaps you do not think of Mr. Samson as a brother after all.”

  Audrey tensed. “I could not imagine what you mean,” she said, but her voice barely carried and cracked.

  Mary squeezed her arm. “I have observed the way you look at him, Audrey. Perhaps you linger just a touch too long. And with my own recent feelings for Edward, I recognize the meaning of those stares.”

  How could that be? Even her family had never seemed to take note of her attraction to Jude. She swallowed hard. “Oh—I—oh—”

  Mary smiled. “With Claire gone, perhaps you don’t feel you have anyone to talk to about womanly things. I would offer myself as a friend if you’d like one. And I would not break your confidence. Not even to Edward unless it were very dire.”

  Audrey stared at Mary for a long moment, exploring the other woman’s friendly face. God, but it was tempting, the idea of spilling all the secrets she kept buried. Ones about her family, her heart, Jude. But she feared once she voiced all the dark things in her soul, she w
ould no longer be able to hide them. They would be free in the world, free to destroy all she had built.

  “Audrey?” Mary said softly.

  She smiled. “You are kind to offer, but I promise you that there is nothing to tell.”

  Mary’s expression faltered a little, but she nodded. “I understand. Perhaps you will find my confidence a little easier to ask for when you know me better. The offer will stand, though—I hope you know that. If you need a friendly ear, mine is always yours.”

  With that, her sister-in-law led her into the dining room. But even as the others sat down at the table and began to eat the food that had been placed before them, Audrey’s head spun. She wasn’t certain how her universe could feel even more upside down than it had when she began her day, but it did.

  She could only hope she could keep the world turning without anyone finding out her secrets.

  Jude shifted in his chair, holding tight to the whisky he hadn’t even tried as he watched Edward and his two brothers. Although they were all trying to behave normally, he still felt the strain between the men, and it hurt him. He had always loved how close the Woodley family had been. But he was in no position to try to remedy their troubles.

  After all, they didn’t know he was responsible for some of them.

  “Why the drawn expression, Samson?” the youngest of the brothers, Gabriel, asked. There was a smile on his handsome face, but it didn’t reach the dark brown eyes that were like the ones possessed by every Woodley Jude had ever known. Save one, for Claire had been blessed with bright green eyes.

  “Do I have a long face?” Jude asked, trying to snap himself out of his mood. He was being ridiculously maudlin. The time away had not been good for him, it seemed.

  “You do,” the middle brother, Evan, said with a tilt of his head to examine Jude better. “You’ve been far too quiet tonight.”

  “He’s having a hard time coming back to reality after lazing about for a month,” Edward said with a laugh.

  Jude smiled. For a moment, he was sent spiraling back to his youth, the days at Cambridge when he had run about with Edward, Evan and later Gabriel. When they had teased and talked like friends. But then his father had died and long-held hatreds of his mother had come to the surface. He and his mother had been shunned, cut out of the settlements. He had gone from lazy grandson of a viscount to sixes and sevens.

  Edward had saved him with a vocation and the patience to let him learn it.

  “That must be it,” he allowed with a rusty laugh. “Too much rich food and wine Mama stuffed down my throat to fatten me up.”

  “It worked,” Gabriel teased, and they all laughed.

  When the laughter had faded, Edward shook his head. “You know, if you want a simple duty to ease you back into working life, I have the perfect one.”

  Jude didn’t exactly trust the tone of his friend’s voice, but he nodded nonetheless. “Well, what is it? I am, of course, at your service.”

  Edward seemed to be trying not to roll his eyes as he continued, “Mama and Audrey will be going to Briarlake Cross in a few days.”

  Jude lifted his eyebrows. “In Idleridge?”

  “That’s the place,” Edward said. “You were there one Christmas, if I recall, weren’t you? Your father gave you permission to spend the holidays with us.”

  “That’s right, I believe so,” Jude said, feigning a vague memory when those few weeks were burned on his brain permanently.

  That holiday had been the first time he noticed Audrey, after all. She’d come around a corner, her arm linked with Claire’s, and his heart had all but stopped. She had been all of seventeen and the prettiest flower in all of England’s gardens. He’d spent the next twenty-one days trying to put himself in her path while pretending disinterest.

  “They’re going for a few weeks,” Edward continued, “and I would like you to act as their escort.”

  For a moment, every thought dumped from Jude’s head and all he could do was stare at Edward. Then he began to process the request. Go to an isolated estate with Audrey. Of course, Lady Woodley would be there, but still.

  He cleared his throat and took a moment to compose himself before he said, “Why?”

  Edward blinked. “Well, er, to be honest, I think my sister is quite restless as of late.”

  Jude stopped breathing. Audrey? Restless? Of course, he had noticed it—he noticed every tiny shift in her mood. But for Edward to be aware meant Audrey had allowed her family to see the desperation Jude had marked on her months before.

  “Is she?” Evan and Gabriel said together, sparing Jude the need to do so.

  Edward shifted his attention to his siblings. “Yes. It’s been hard on her, I think, for a while now. She needs a break and Mama thinks that overseeing the decoration of the estate will give her a much needed respite.”

  “Is she desperate?” Gabriel asked, his mouth suddenly a thin, worried line.

  Edward shook his head. “No. No, not that far.”

  “Not as far as Claire, you mean,” Evan said.

  Edward’s face reflected the same guilt that burned within Jude and he stepped forward to diffuse the situation for all their sakes.

  “And what will I do?” Jude asked. “Hold the fabric up for judgment?”

  Evan’s face softened as he laughed. “It’s a hard job, but someone must do it.”

  Edward shrugged. “Perhaps, if they require it. I was thinking more along the lines that you would oversee the workers so no one gives Audrey or my mother any trouble. And you can report to me so that I may assist in any way that is required.”

  “You mean send more blunt,” Gabriel muttered.

  Jude jerked his gaze to the youngest Woodley brother. Gabriel hadn’t teased with Edward in a very long time, but right now a faint smile was on his face. It was progress.

  “Yes, that,” Edward agreed.

  Jude swallowed hard, still hesitant when he thought of the potential for being alone with Audrey. “You know, I only just returned and there is much for me to do,” he began.

  Edward cut off his protests. “Everything else can wait. It will only be a few weeks, Samson.”

  Jude nodded, for he knew there was no way out of the situation. Not without explaining his real reasons for hesitating. He could only imagine how well that would go over.

  “Very well, if you insist.”

  Edward strode over and clapped a hand on his shoulder with a smile. “Thank you, Samson. I know it is a boring task, but I appreciate it.”

  As his friend left his side to get another drink, Jude let out his breath in a long sigh. It wasn’t that he thought the task would be boring that worried him. It was that he feared he was going to find it too stimulating, indeed.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Audrey took a deep breath in the seconds she had before the carriage door opened and did her best to put a benign, unaffected expression on her face. It was almost impossible because she knew when it happened, the person on the other side would be…

  The handle turned and revealed exactly who she knew it would.

  Jude Samson.

  He smiled and she returned the expression, though she was certain he noticed her awkwardness. How could he not? She felt like it was written all over her face in plain English. But this was Jude. Her brothers’ friend. Her friend. And yet she could hardly breathe as he took her mother’s hand and helped her out of the carriage first.

  When he turned back to do the same for her, her hand shook as she placed it in his. He felt very warm, even through her thin gloves, and she was utterly aware of the spicy scent of his skin as he helped her to the drive.

  Her mother was already halfway up the stairs, talking to three servants at once, her face bright with pleasure. Jude and Audrey stood behind for a brief moment, staring up at the house.

  “It was a good trip,” she said, searching for some boring topic to cover with Jude.

  He nodded. “Yes, very good weather.”

  She sent him a side glance
. “We hardly saw you, though.”

  He hesitated, and she saw him reaching for an explanation. “Well, being that I rode outside the carriage, I suppose that is to be expected.”

  She frowned. “But you didn’t join us for supper at the inn last night, either. You would have been welcome, you know.”

  He shrugged and let the statement rest without responding to it. Instead, he let his gaze slip again to the house.

  “The old girl looks good,” Jude quipped.

  “I assume you mean the house and not my mother,” she said as they watched Lady Woodley vanish into the foyer.

  An expression of horror crossed his face. “I would never be so disrespectful—”

  She reached out and touched his arm. “Calm yourself, I’m teasing. Of course you mean the house.”

  Both their gazes flitted down to where she touched him, and Audrey pulled her hand back and took a step away.

  He cleared his throat. “Are you glad to be back? Away from London?”

  She pursed her lips. “I see my brother has been spilling my secrets. How divine that you were talking about me behind my back.”

  This time, he seemed to actually recognize the humor behind her dry tone. “You know Edward is a tattletale. I always know all your secrets.”

  “Impossible,” Audrey said, dropping her gaze to the ground so he wouldn’t see just that. “He doesn’t even know them.”

  She sensed Jude’s discomfort with the topic, for he shifted his weight from foot to foot restlessly. “But you are happy to be here, aren’t you?”

  She sighed. “Of course. I love it here. Some of my happiest memories are here in this home with my family, with—with you.” She realized she had said too much when Jude caught his breath and rushed on by adding, “But our stay here won’t be very long, will it? We’re meant to go back to London in just a few weeks. And then I’ll catch myself a nice husband, I suppose.”

  His lip twitched. “Don’t sound so utterly excited about the prospect.”

  She shrugged. “You’ve met the men I have to consider, have you not? Would you be excited?”