Phobic (Phoebe Reede: The Untold Story #2)

by Michelle Irwin

  It was only when I was stripping off my overalls so that I didn’t get grease and dirt over the seat of my hire car, that someone approached me.

  “Well, well, well, I didn’t know I’d be getting a private striptease when I came to talk to you.” When I turned my head to follow his voice, I found Jase’s piggy eyes focused on my arse as I wiggled out of the overalls. I had a pair of shorts on underneath, but I was still uncomfortable with his appraisal.

  I stepped out of the overalls and turned around. Every time I was around Jase, I wanted nothing more than to cover myself and leave the room.

  “What’s next to come off?”

  “Can you please leave and let me change in peace?”

  “You’re happy enough showing off to a bunch of strangers on the Internet, why not do a little show for me? I can make it worth your while.”

  “I told you you’d be the first to know if I ever lowered my standards, and I’m not there yet.” I turned my back on him and rolled the overalls up before shoving them into the plastic bag I’d brought with me.

  “So touchy.” Jase laughed. He moved closer to me and curled his fingers through my hair. “Why not relax? Have a little fun.”

  Without pulling away from him, I murmured, “Touch me again, and I’ll have my fun by pulling your fingers from their sockets one by one.”

  He wrapped my ponytail around his hand so I couldn’t move as he closed the distance between us. “Beau said a lot about your skills, but never mentioned you were so feisty.” His breath was hot and heavy in my ear. “I like ’em feisty.” He tugged my hair. Before I could stop it, a little moan of pain slipped from my mouth. A chuckle met my ear. “Makes ’em more fun to break.” The threat was a hot and heavy whisper in my ear.

  “I will break your cock in half if you don’t let go right now.”

  “Promises, promises.” He let go and backed away.

  I spun toward him. “Don’t believe for a second this will go unreported.”

  He laughed. “Report all you like, sweetheart. Nobody’s going to believe someone as easy as you over someone as respected as me.”

  “We’ll see.” I spun and left the staff room, heading straight to Mr Richards’s office.

  “How can I help you, Phoebe?” He barely made eye contact with me. It was as if whatever I’d come into the room for was unimportant to him.

  “It’s, uh, it’s Jase. He . . .” Standing in front of Mr Richards, I couldn’t find the right words to complain about the arsehole. Yes, he’d said some mildly threatening words and had touched me after I’d asked him not to, but how could I articulate that into something that the team would take seriously. At least without having to get Mum and Dad involved, because they wouldn’t just take it seriously enough to insist he be fired, they’d likely make me go straight home as well. Especially with everything going on with Beau. “I don’t feel comfortable working alone with him.”

  He glanced up at me briefly. Just long enough to say, “Is there any reason for that statement?”

  “I, well, he, uh . . . he made some advances toward me.”

  “Advances?” He didn’t look up from his work again.

  “Comments and touches. Do you really want all the gritty details?”

  His eyes cut to me as he dropped his paperwork back to his desk. “If you are going to make a complaint against a staff member, I’ll need the details. Certainly more than just ‘advances.’”

  I closed my eyes and burned with humiliation as I was forced to recount the details. “He accused me of doing a striptease, pulled my hair, and told me he wanted to break me.”

  “I’m sure he was simply joking. Jase is a great team manager, and I don’t think he’d risk his career over an easy lay.”

  I set my jaw as the words left him. Of course, he’d think that of me as well.

  “I will however address your concerns with him.”

  My stomach dropped. What would that help? All it would do was prove to Jase he could get away with anything. “I don’t—”

  “That is all.”

  Fuck. I couldn’t help but think things had been made worse rather than better.

  BECAUSE I hadn’t finished my catalogue of parts on Monday, I returned Tuesday to continue my task. Only this time, I went into the ladies’ room to change into my overalls and made sure I avoided any and all places Jase might be able to corner me alone.

  “You got that apart real quick,” Xavier said as he found me wiping down the tools a little before lunchtime.

  “Heh, not really. I was hoping to get it all done yesterday.”

  “I still can’t believe you’re doing it on your lonesome. That’s pretty impressive.”

  I heard the addition—“for a girl”—even though he didn’t say it. If I were a male mechanic, there wouldn’t have been a compliment, or even a comment. I shrugged to show it was no big deal even though it burned me. “Just doing what I was trained to do.”

  “Trained how?”

  I told him about Dad insisting I do a mechanic apprenticeship as early as I could so that I’d have a better understanding of the cars, but also so I’d have a fall-back if driving didn’t work out.

  “Your dad sounds like an interesting guy,” Xavier said.

  “Yeah. He’s the best.” Without his shadow looming directly over my shoulder, it was easier to admit how great he was.

  “He doesn’t want you to get married and have kids one day?”

  I wondered why that mattered, but found the humour in it. “He’d probably be happy with me doing that sometime after I’m thirty.” I laughed before letting it fall away. It wasn’t really something we’d discussed; we tended to avoid conversations about the distant future in our house. “Until then, he’d rather I have a career.”

  “How much more do you have to do on that today?” Xavier asked, thumbing in the direction of the bike.

  “Actually, I think I’m done for now. I’ve just got to put an order in for some parts.”

  “What parts?”

  I grabbed the list from my pocket and handed it to him.

  He frowned and nodded as he read down the list. “We might have some of these around the yard. And what we don’t have, we can get pretty easily. I’m sure Bee will be happy to give you a deal on them.”

  “Really? That’d be great.”

  “Can I take a copy of this?”

  “Sure.” I wasn’t about to say no to him making my life easier.

  He grinned and started to head off, but then stopped and spun back toward me. “I don’t suppose you’re interested in grabbing a bite to eat for lunch?”

  After his admissions the evening I picked up the bike, I wasn’t sure it was a great idea. I didn’t want to lead him on or have him think I was interested in dating. “Umm, I’m not really sure. I’m not looking for love or anything,” I joked—even though the words had no mirth and a hell of a lot of truth behind them.

  He rolled his eyes. “It’s just a burger, Phoebe, not a marriage proposal.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, when you put it that way, why not?”

  “Awesome. There’s a place a little way away from here that makes burgers to die for.”

  “Give me a moment to finish washing up and I’ll be right with you.”

  “I’ll get a copy of this while you get ready.”

  “Sure thing.”

  Once I’d cleaned up, I stripped off the overalls, leaving a pair of jeans and a blouse. I headed back out to my bike, and then shoved my dirty overalls in another plastic bag. Because I no longer had to be concerned with it getting in the way, I let my hair out of the tight bun I’d set it in that morning so that it would fall loose around my shoulders.

  Footsteps sounded on the concrete behind me. I spun to greet Xavier with a smile on my face. “Ready to go?”

  I froze.

  Beau’s gaze met mine before sliding over my body and coming to rest on my lips. “And where exactly are ya goin’ then, darlin’?”

&
nbsp; It was my first chance to deal with him in the workplace without falling to pieces. I squared my shoulders and tried to smile. “Uh, I was going to grab a burger with Xavier.”

  Beau’s smile fell as he nodded.

  “It’s just a casual lunch. You can come too, uh, if—I mean, if you want to.” I couldn’t stop myself from stammering over my words as I got through my awkward invite. I didn’t really want him to come, but I didn’t know how else to prove to him that it was an innocent lunch. Not that I should have needed to prove it to him. And yet, something made me want him to know I was still available. So fucking pathetic.

  Beau recoiled at my words. “What happened to ya don’t need my friendship? To us bein’ nothin’ more than teammates and track rivals.”

  I shrugged. “It’s still true.”

  His jaw ticked as he took a step away from me.

  “But teammates can go to lunch, right?” I offered with a smile.

  “I think I’ll leave ya alone to work your magic on Xavier.”

  The way he said it made it clear he thought I was trying to seduce Xavier. My first instinct was to bite back, but I swallowed it down with the thought of my conversation with Mum. I’d promised no more controversy, and to do that, I had to stop letting him under my skin. “Your loss.”

  Xavier returned with two copies of my list in his hand. “Oh hey, Beau,” he said. “I was just taking Phoebe down to Duke’s for a burger.”

  It didn’t escape my attention that he didn’t extend an invite to Beau like I had.

  “I heard. Have fun.” Beau met my gaze as he said the words.

  It was possible I imagined the innuendo in his tone.

  “You ready to go?” Xavier asked.

  My gaze was still locked with Beau’s as I nodded. When I did, the tiny muscles in his jaw flexed again before he spun on his heel and left without another word.

  Xavier and I were quiet as we left Richards Racing. Although it was clear he had questions, and kept glancing at me as if he wanted to ask them, he stayed silent. Whether it was because he didn’t want to invade my privacy or out of respect for Beau, I wasn’t sure.

  “So, what happened between you and Beau anyway?” he asked when we’d left the area, answering the question I’d had. It was clearly either fear or respect of Beau that had stilled Xavier’s tongue.

  “I’d really rather not talk about it.”

  “Were you together though?”

  My feet stalled at his question, but I forced myself to keep moving, only missing one step. “I guess you could say we were.”

  “I thought he was with Cassidee?”

  “Yeah. Apparently he is.” I kicked my toes against the concrete as we walked, unable to drag my eyes back up to meet Xavier’s.

  “You don’t strike me as a homewrecker.”

  I flinched at the word.

  “Sorry, I don’t mean nothing by that. It’s just that, well, you seem so sweet. Not the sort of girl to mess around with someone who’s involved with someone else.”

  “It wasn’t exactly intentional.” I kicked the ground again as I walked. I didn’t want to go into the details. It felt like Beau filled up every aspect of my life even though I was ready to be done with him. “I didn’t know about Cassidee.”

  “I’m sorry. I guess you probably don’t want to talk about it.”

  I stared straight ahead at the horizon as I spoke. “Not really.”

  We walked the last of the distance in silence. Thankfully, it wasn’t a long walk—it couldn’t have taken more than ten minutes. When we arrived at the burger joint, Xavier bounced around like a puppy. “Is there anything you don’t like? Or anything you’re allergic to?”

  “No. Why?”

  “Go find a seat and I’ll order for us both. Be prepared to be blown away.”

  It went against everything I usually stood for, but I agreed for the sake of the one friendship I might have been able to salvage at work. I looked around at the tables, but most of them had the remnants of some previous diners on them so I selected a cleanish-looking booth at the back of the restaurant, set apart from everything else. Despite my concern that Xavier might misinterpret the selection, that he might think I wanted to be secluded with him, I tried to relax and look like I was ready for a lunch between friends. To discourage the idea of both of us sharing one side of the booth though, I twisted my body so that my knee was up on the bench seat.

  A few minutes later, Xavier slid into the seat opposite me in the booth. “Just a few minutes and you’ll be in heaven.”

  “That’s what they all promise,” I joked, unable to stop the peal of laughter that rang off my lips.

  He furrowed his brow for a second, no doubt trying to figure out what I’d found so funny. A moment later, his gaze dropped to his hands and he flushed red. “I meant the burgers.”

  Reaching across the table, I patted his hand and tried to hide my amusement. “I’m sorry. I grew up in a family with a slightly perverted sense of humour and around the track with guys way older than me. You can trust me to find the dirty in everything and anything.”

  “You’re quite . . . comfortable with your sexuality, aren’t you?” He whispered the word as though it was something dirty, or needed to be hidden.

  “Sure.” I shrugged. Really, it wasn’t anything unusual. “I mean, everyone has sex, right? Eventually at least. And I know sponsors are as interested in me for my looks and my tits as any ability I have to drive. It’s not the way it should be, but it’s the way it is.”

  Xavier’s eye twitched as I spoke. “It ain’t really polite to talk about stuff like that in public.”

  “It’s fine. I mean, it’s a natural thing.” Someone dropped our food on our table, and Xavier pushed a burger in my direction. It didn’t escape my attention that he’d got a basket of fries for us to share rather than separate servings.

  He frowned. “So it’s true what people are saying about you then?”

  I leaned back against the booth. “What are people saying?” I asked, wondering which of the many rumours Beau had apparently started about me he meant. Was it the rumour that I was pushing Cash out, or the story about me being a whore?

  “The things about your wanton behaviour.”

  I ground my teeth. “Oh, that.”

  “At first, I didn’t think it could be true because you seem so sweet, but now . . . I have to wonder whether it might be.”

  With a snarl on my lips, I shoved my arms across my chest. “So, just because I don’t hide from my sexuality that must mean I’m a whore?”

  Perhaps sensing how far offside his words had put me, Xavier backtracked. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. What you said just made me start to wonder whether you could be as bad as the rumours say.”

  “Does it matter if I am?”

  “What do you mean?”

  I leaned toward the table and grabbed a fry. “Does. It. Matter?” I waved the fry at him to emphasise each word. “I mean, if I slept with every guy in Australia, does it change who I am?”

  His eyes widened with shock. “Well, yeah.”

  “Why?” I pointed the half-eaten end of my French fry at him.

  “Because you’re giving something that should be special away to anyone and everyone.”

  I should’ve known better than to think he’d be different from everyone else. A guy who slept with everyone was a legend, but God forbid a girl have multiple experiences. “But you don’t think anything less of Beau. Or Cash. Or any of the guys who do that.”

  “I do. You just can’t say anything about it at work or you’re seen to be weak.”

  His words reminded me of Beau and his admission that people thought less of his virgin status. I shrugged, trying to not let Beau back into my mind again. “Well, so long as you apply the same rules to everyone, then I guess you’re entitled to that opinion.”

  “You don’t agree?” He picked at the food in front of him.

  “I do, but I don’t. I mean, I never unders
tood the waiting for marriage thing, but I have been raised to believe that sex is something that’s better between people who feel something for each other. I’d never judge anyone who wants to screw everyone under the sun either though.” How could I? It was how Dad had lived before coming into my life.

  “If you feel that way, then why’d you sleep with Beau?”

  It was none of his business, but I had nothing to hide either. Perhaps if he knew my truth, he could at least give a rebuttal when the rumours spread. “Let’s just say I made a mistake and trusted in something I shouldn’t have.”

  He narrowed his eyes as he assessed me. “You thought you loved him.”

  “No. I know I loved him. It’s just that I thought he loved me too.”

  Needing to shift the conversation away from the topic of Beau, I cut the burger in front of me in half and picked up one side. Unable to ignore the promise of an apparently fantastic meal, not now that my irritation had been stowed, I took a bite, and nodded at Xavier to thank him for the burger suggestion. It wasn’t the best I’d ever had, but it was a long way from the worst.

  Xavier watched as I ate, before moving forward. His brow set into a frown and his hands squeezed into fists as he asked, “Did he hurt you, Phoebe?”

  It took me a moment too long to stop my wince. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Someone needs to teach him it ain’t polite to play with a girl’s heart.”

  Offering him an appreciative grin, I shook my head. “Seriously, don’t worry about it. I’m a big girl and that’s the risk you face when you put yourself out there. Sometimes things we think will last forever just don’t.”

  “I can’t imagine having to say goodbye to someone I cared about.”

  I shrugged to appear unaffected. After all, I’d been saying goodbye to Beau from almost the moment I met him. “Now I’m just looking at doing the best I can for the team before heading home at the end of next year.”

  “I can’t image how hard it must be to be in another country and facing someone who hurt you. Why’d you come?”