Living with Regrets (No Regrets book 2)

by Aimee Noalane

  I spent the majority of that evening observing her. She knew, and I could tell it bothered her. I had to hand it to her, though: she played the game pretty well. It took a while for me to get up the courage to go talk to her, but when I did, a guy I didn’t know surprised her from behind.

  I watched her jump into his arms, and couldn’t help my grimace. It felt like a punch in the gut. Not that I was expecting her to be single or anything. She was, after all, the most gorgeous girl I had ever laid eyes on, but I would have been lying to myself if I didn’t admit that a part of me wished that she wasn’t in a relationship.

  You’re the one who told her to move on and live her life, Oliver. She did exactly what you told her to do...

  “Oliver?” I hadn’t noticed the guy I didn’t know approach me while I observed Abby disappear behind the restroom’s door.

  “Yeah?” I frowned. It bugged me that this guy knew my name, but I had no clue who he was.

  “Chase.”

  Ugh, she’s still with this guy?

  I took his extended hand and gave him a firm handshake. “Nice to finally meet you.”

  I was a bit nervous to have him standing in front of me. Chase had nothing on my frame, but odds were I didn’t make the best impressions in regards to my relationship with Abbygail. There was a good chance he wouldn’t really appreciate my presence.

  “Likewise. I’m sorry about your mother. I was with Abby the evening you called. She and Jenna were devastated about her passing. I understand she was a great woman.”

  “Yes, she was. I appreciate it.” I let go of his hand. “So how did you know who I was? Did your girlfriend call you over to tell you I’d be here?”

  “Girlfriend?” he chuckled. “Abbygail and I aren’t a couple, Oliver. And no, Abby didn’t need to tell me you were here,” he paused. “Her disordered state spoke for her.”

  I frowned, confused by his last statement, and to be honest I was starting to wonder where our conversation was heading. “But you are the Chase she used to date?”

  “I am.”

  “And you aren’t together anymore.”

  “Nope. Not for many years, actually.”

  “Can I ask you what happened?”

  His head turned towards Tyler. “Well, that’s easy. History repeating itself. Life. University, and everything that comes with its experiences.”

  Can this guy be anymore cryptic?

  “So you basically gave up on her.” I responded unashamedly.

  What a douche. This guy clearly doesn’t know Abby very well.

  He snickered sarcastically. “Abby doesn’t do the whole love thing. Well, not with me anyway.”

  I watched him and Tyler glaring at each other, having a secret conversation of their own.

  “There are a many things you don’t know about Abby, or her relationships, Oliver.”

  He was wrong: I was starting to get a very good picture of the whole situation.

  Tyler Parker… of all people. I should have fucking known.

  I cursed Stephan for not keeping me up to speed with these things. If he had, I wouldn’t look like a clueless idiot trying to figure everything out right now. But when Stephan and I rekindled our friendship a few months after my departure, he had one simple rule: I could not ask about Abbygail. Ever. He never brought her up in a conversation, and I never asked. Not that I didn’t want to––I did––but I understood and respected where he was coming from.

  Except for that evening...it pretty much pissed me off.

  “A man eventually needs to give up on trying to be the one person he will never be able to be,” he said turning, his eyes back to mine.

  “I would have fought harder,” I argued.

  He snickered. “You wouldn’t have needed to.”

  What the hell does that even mean? This guy is so weird. It’s a good thing Abby isn’t still with him. I swear I’d be teasing the hell out of her with this the whole weekend.

  “I see you two finally met.” Her feminine voice exclaimed from behind. “Chase, want to grab a drink?”

  “I’m sorry. I can’t stay.”

  “Come on, Chase…”

  “Listen, Abby. I know I told you I would be here and sleep over tonight––”

  Wait what?

  I eyed him suspiciously, and I think he noticed because he actually smirked.

  “But unfortunately, I’ve barely had anytime to pack this week, so I got to go.”

  “Just do it tomorrow,” she whined

  “Abs, as much as I love you, I have a bunch of stuff to organize for my substitute next week. So between emailing my lesson plans and packing, I can’t stay. Besides, I’m not disappointing your mom by not showing up tomorrow.” He leaned over and gave Abby peck on the cheek.

  I noticed how he used his closeness to her to whisper something in her ear. It bugged the hell out of me, but what bothered me more was the frown he put on her beautiful face. Had I not been paying attention, I would have missed it. But I was, and by the look in her eyes she wished I hadn’t.

  “Will I be seeing you tomorrow?” Chase asked me, backing away from our little group.

  I nodded and watched him head over to talk with Stephan.

  So there we were, Abby and I, alone in a staring competition, merely inches from each other’s face, yet unable to make a sound.

  “Um,” she whispered. “I need another drink.”

  She turned and walked away while I enjoyed the view of her perfect ass getting away from me.

  Abbygail

  There. He. Was.

  Right in front of me.

  The alcohol in my blood made me want to stretch out––just maybe half an inch, just to be sure he wasn’t a dream—but instead, I just stared at him, looking deeply into the dark eyes I’d craved to see for so long. There were so many things I wanted to say, but no intelligible words would have made it out. I did the next best thing: I walked away.

  On the bright side, when my eyes left his, I noticed Kylie was back with the girls, and Stephan was waving goodbye to Chase from behind the bar. Something about his grin told me he’d assisted to the whole scene.

  “This goes without saying,” Zoey exclaimed as I made my way back to their table. “I can’t wait to see how this story will go.”

  I didn’t even need to ask them whom they were talking about. Their discomfort at my arrival spoke for itself. I just ignored the whole thing. I was expecting it anyway.

  “Okay, now that you’re finally here. Can I ask you a question?” Ava requested.

  “What?” I grumbled grabbing the last unopened beer on the table.

  “Why you haven’t lashed out at him yet?”

  “No, wait. I have a better one,” Zoey interrupted. “Why haven’t you jumped his bones yet?”

  I gave her an incredulous look as I uncapped my bottle.

  “What? He’s fucking hot, Abby.”

  “Okay, Horny Hormonal Mama, give the girl a break,” Kylie intervened. “How are you feeling?”

  I sipped on my beer slowly, and watched my best friend, my ex, and the only guy I’ve ever loved, catching up, only a few feet away. It was a sight I thought I’d never see again. Seeing them together brought it all back. I took the bottle away from my lips and placed it on the table beside me. Stephan’s eyes found mine. I held back my tears and turn my gaze away so he wouldn’t worry.

  “Abby?”

  The three girls observed me anxiously, clearly waiting for my answer. For a moment, I wondered how long I was out of it.

  I smirked.

  How do I feel?

  “I feel like my haunting past, wishful dreams, and heart wrenching nightmares collided together, waiting on the sidelines for the moment they decide they can come and crash my life all over again.”

  Collision

  Abbygail

  I spent the majority of that evening pretending to be unaffected by Oliver’s presence. It was all a lie, and I sucked at it. My emotions were all over the place. Between my
friends, my exes, Oliver and way too much booze, it was half past one in the morning, I was well overdue to go back home.

  After I told the girls I’d be calling it a night, Kylie took me aside looking concerned. “How are you getting home?”

  “I’ll walk.”

  “Are you sure? Zoey can drive you, or we can call you a cab.”

  “I’m fine, Kylie. I need to clear my head.”

  “Okay, Abs.” She knew very well there was no arguing with me. “Keep your cell phone close, and call if you need anything.”

  “I always do. Are you going to be okay?” I asked raising my brow so she knew her earlier episode didn’t go unnoticed.

  “Yes.”

  “Do you have somewhere to stay?”

  “Yes,” she answered nudging her head towards Stephan.

  “And, are we still going shopping on Friday?”

  “Yes.”

  “So we’ll talk then?” I asked.

  “Yes.”

  “And when we do, will you be saying more than just ‘yes’? Because you’re kind of annoying me with your one-word answers right now.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Abby, don’t worry about me. Everything is okay. And please remember that I’m picking you up at eight.”

  “I promise I’ll be up and ready by the time you make it to my doorstep.”

  ···

  I waited patiently by Stephan’s side as he animatedly recounted some football stunt he pulled off over six years ago. It was nice to see that their friendship was still as strong as it once had been.

  Shame we weren’t all able to do the same.

  Wait. Nope. Not going there again. Over it… so over it.

  “Hey, Steph. Sorry to interrupt your guy-time, but I’m going to head back. I just wanted to thank you for tonight.”

  “You’re leaving?”

  “Yeah, I’m exhausted. And before you ask, no, I am not driving. No, I don’t need someone to drive me home, and no, I don’t need a cab. I’ll come and pick up my car tomorrow or something. Now, you, on the other hand, my brother from another mother, promise me you won’t be doing anything stupid tonight.”

  “Aww, I’m sorry, babe. If you’re talking about Kylie, I’m not making any promises.”

  “Fine then,” I chuckled. “Just don’t do anything you’re going to regret.”

  “Nobody regrets sex, Abs. You of all people should know that.”

  I shook my head at his lack of discretion and wondered if maybe my best friend was just as intoxicated as I was.

  “Are you telling me I’m wrong? Wait––please don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.”

  “You’re an idiot. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be without you,” I teased with a warm smile.

  “Don’t even try to pull that shit on me, babe. I’m telling you right now: it would suck. I’ll call you Monday morning to figure out our running schedule for the week. How about we make it double what it usually is?”

  I wanted to protest but it was useless. Deep down we both knew I would enjoy the extra training. It was a perfect way for me to channel my emotions.

  Stephan pulled me into a hug. “Be safe. And please tell your mom I’m sorry I can’t make it tomorrow.”

  “I will,” I responded and he let me go. I was more than ready to leave.

  “Angel.”

  I flinched. The nickname hurt, just like he knew it would. I turned to face Tyler and let my eyes linger on his, something I had avoided for the most part of our evening. I saw his suffering but just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I shook my head subtly, hoping that he would understand that it wasn’t the right time. I left, but then the sound of my name escaping Oliver’s lips made me stop before reaching the door.

  “How are you getting home?” he asked. It’s funny how sometimes simple words can set us off like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.

  As if this guy has any right to even ask me this question.

  It took me a lot not to lash out, and somehow, I managed not to. But it didn’t prevent me from addressing his question. I turned back and met his dark stare. “I’m walking, Oliver. It’s what people do when they drink.”

  “You are not walking home alone.” Tyler and Oliver responded at the same time. It was actually cute for a second, until it wasn’t.

  “Excuse me? I think I’m old enough to make my own decisions. Thank you very much.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “And for the record, the only person among you three that cares and could actually have any say in what I do, will not tell me otherwise.” I gave Stephan a hard look. “I’m walking. I’ll give you a ring when I get home.”

  He nodded, satisfied with our agreement.

  “Stop talking out of your ass, Abby,” Tyler refuted. “You know very well I care about you.”

  “Yes, Tyler, you made that abundantly clear many times. Unfortunately for you, sometimes actions speak louder than words.”

  “Whatever, Angel,” he spat. “Our history has nothing to do with this. And just so you know, the only way we’ll get through that is if you agree to talk about it.”

  “I’m not rehashing this with you, Tyler. Especially not tonight.”

  I turned around without his response, and walked out of the bar.

  Oliver

  The last thing she would have wanted was to be alone with me, and that’s exactly why I chose to follow her anyway. Even if she did live close by, part of me was uneasy with her walking home alone. I guess my desire to protect her hadn’t lessened with time.

  “Abs, wait up.”

  She stopped and let out an exasperated sigh. “What part of me clearly voicing that I can get home by myself didn’t you understand, Oliver? I mean doesn’t anyone care what I want today?”

  “I guess it all depends on what you want.”

  “Oh that’s an easy one,” she replied with a deadpan look. “I want you to leave.”

  “Well, I’m sorry to disappoint, but that’s not going to happen, drama queen. I’m here and you’re just going to have to deal with it.”

  “Shut up.” She rolled her eyes, but I saw the small smile she was trying to hide.

  “Aren’t you cold? I can call us a cab.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “But you’re shivering.”

  “I said I was fine, Ol. I feel like walking. If you want a cab to bring you back to my mom’s house, then call a cab. I’m not sixteen anymore: I don’t need you to get me home.” She reached for her keys inside her purse and opened the trunk to grab her coat.

  “I think I’ve made myself clear already. I’m not letting you leave the bar and walk by yourself, Abby. This isn’t up for discussion.”

  She raised her eyebrow and shook her head. “Whatever, Oliver.”

  ···

  Silence lingered between the both of us as we walked back home. Her unwillingness to talk was gnawing at me in ways I never would have thought possible. By the time I gathered the courage to finally speak up, we had reached the stop sign of our street.

  “So Tyler, huh?” I questioned. “I’m kind of curious, Abs. When did that happen, exactly?”

  “I won’t be answering to your sudden interests about my life Oliver, so you can stop trying.”

  “Why not?”

  “Two reasons: the first, I don’t feel like talking about it because it still sucks.” She stopped and turned towards me. “And secondly, because I was never keen on the idea of people confiding in strangers, so I won’t be starting today. I confide in friends.” She raised her eyes to meet mine. “You and I aren’t friends, Oliver.”

  She spun around too quickly to see how much that hurt.

  “Clearly, we aren’t friends,” I replied. “I mean if we were, then maybe I would have enjoyed the feeling of my dick buried deep inside you too.”

  Oh you have to be shitting me. Did I really just say that out loud?

  She stopped and settled her dark angry eyes on mine. Bizarrely enough, I was glad I had finally managed
to get a reaction out of her.

  “Was that your subtle way of calling me a whore? I swear you better be fucking drunk right now… this way we can use your alcohol consumption as your excuse for being a complete asshole.”

  “I nursed three beers and drank a couple of bottles of water tonight, so I’m not drunk. The fact that you have been avoiding me all night, does excuse why you wouldn’t know that though.”

  “Puhlease. Would you like to take a wild guess as to why that is?” she argued, backing away from me. It wasn’t easy for her to maintain her step so it took little effort to catch up with her.

  I chose to ignore her question. I had too many of my own. “I, on the other hand, had very insightful conversations while you were pretending to ignore me tonight. So I’ll just go ahead and ask you the one that’s been bugging the hell out of me for what seems like hours.”

  She stopped walking altogether, and I marched right up to her until we were face-to-face. She crossed her arms, challenging me, and I imitated her stance.

  “How many of my friends have you been with, Abby? Huh? Did you worm yourself into all my football teammate’s hearts? Or did you just stick to my best friends? Oh, I know. Maybe you just stuck to whatever all of them had in their pants.”

  “Fuck you.” Her punch caught me by surprise and so did the force of her pushing me away. No wonder she wasn’t afraid of walking home on her own. It took me everything not to bend over in pain. “Oliver, I may have had too much to drink tonight, but here is something you don’t know about me. My body is well accustomed to alcohol, and I can tell you right now that I am nowhere near drunk enough to not remember this conversation. However, I am willing to pretend tomorrow, you know when we have dinner with my mother, that you did not just call me a fucking prostitute.”

  I winced at her harsh tone. I couldn’t believe I just let whatever that was, spew out of my mouth like that. I probably had a lot more to drink than I remembered.

  “You are the one that walked away from me, Oliver Langton. You. Fucking. Left,” she cried. “And as if that wasn’t enough, you stepped all over my heart like I meant nothing to you. You never wrote back except for that one horrible letter, when you told me to move on. ”